What does Edward really do when Tanya comes on to him?
Needles to say, I am not Stephenie Meyer, and I do not know anything about these characters. So please just go with it, this is my own interpretation.
Dedicated to YouAreExactlyMyBrandOfHeroin because she asked.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight; I'm just a twisted completely obsessed fan, like you!
When Tanya Strikes
My life seamed to be a vast never-ending hourglass, each grain of sand trickling into nothingness. Each second didn't matter; everything was just a blur of milliseconds diluted into monotonous thoughts, passing through an infinite ending.
Each breath I took counted down to nothing. Each thought passed through my mind was pointless. My never-ending life was an unlimited surplus. Dragged into different generations and passed through endless time zones. My body existing in unexplainable logic, my life was just a speck that time had no effect on.
Denali was pleasant, the diminutive population was easy to ignore and our backyard skirted on a vast forest stocked full of sustenance. My life passed, seemingly uneventful, hours mixed in with minutes and seconds blended into days.
The sky was always layered with a stretch of thick clouds, lighting the world in a murky dark grey, smothering the sun.
I was alone.
It didn't bother me, — in fact I took pleasure in the silence. The humming house was always scattered with presence, words and thoughts weaving throughout the halls and rooms of the inconspicuous house, nestled into a dark undergrowth in an obscure deserted mountain.
I reveled in the quiet. Closing my eyes, allowing the velvety air to thicken around me and settle like a blanket around my ears.
Our house was paired off. Couples filling in silences and completing one another's sentences. Each of their thoughts comically attuned to one another's. The sweetness or maliciousness of their words easily read, reciprocations invoked in a quiet playful scowl or a slight sideways glance.
Carlisle and Esme. Alice and Jasper. Rosalie and Emmett. And Carmen and Eleazar.
Their world was built on that sole other person. Finding light and reason just by looking into one another's eyes. I could never understand that one principle feeling all exuberating from their thoughts. That unadulterated trust, the intense happiness, and the safe requited feeling of love. To feel as if their never-ending life is complete in one another. That nothing else mattered as long as they were together.
I shook my head at the prospect, a sarcastic smile on my lips. I understood the definition, the attachment was understandable. But I could never see something so wholly obscure as the feeling of love being anyway near rational, to be caught in a rush of diminishing passionate desire seamed unnatural, and barely worth the effort. In fact the idea of love seemed droning; a strenuous dwindle of redundant emotion.
I was alone in my pessimistic outlook as well. Irina, Kate, and Tanya were also alone but disagreed with my view on the tedious emotion. They gushed and marveled at love, longing and fawning over any display of emotion, seeping like a contagious disease from each couple.
They were a peculiar trio. Their thoughts always colourful and their ideas always catching me by surprise. They referred to themselves as sisters, even though no blood tie existed in them when they were human. They existed peacefully, never rousing any disturbances or rallying in any unruly activity.
They all had a distinct unsettling presence. Like the stinging prickle of uncomfortable warmth settling over icy cold. It wasn't always uncomfortable—but I was always aware of it. Their thoughts skittered in sync with one another, always underlining the same train of thought or thinking the same thing, though worded differently.
Not only were their thoughts similar but also their appearance. Even if they weren't true sisters, it would've been perfectly reasonable to assume as much. Irina's red hair could be found in streaks of bronze in the undertone of strawberry blonde of Tanya's. Kate's wavy long blonde mane matched Irina's length and Tanya's curls.
All three of them bore matching oval eyes, teamed with thick black eyelashes framing golden orbs. Their skin an icy white, starker then the rest of us. Their forms all lithe and graceful as a vampire were to be expected. But they differed from Rosalie's vane disposition and Alice's grace. They looked almost delicate; their smiles feigning and untrusting. They were as confident as Rosalie and as sure as Alice, positive that no man could ever refuse them. They were all undeniably gorgeous.
I cringed at a repressed memory. Rosalie's joking nudge as she elbowed me teasingly in the gut. "Take your pick," she smirked. Her thoughts teeming with the possibilities of a mate. Asking if I preferred blondes, or redheads or a mixture of both?
I never thought of Tanya, Kate and Irina as a perspective mate. And I could never muster the same feelings for them as Alice and Rosalie. That feeling of uncomfortablness always stung at me, like frostbite defrosting over a singeing fire of human flesh. I could never see them as sisters or categorize them as family — it seemed unfitting, — even inappropriate.
I always chalked it up to their ability. The slight quality of power transferred from your human life to your vampire one. "Succubus," they said when we first met them.
The word was laced with a continuous stream of connotations. Flickers of stories and old wives tale flashed through my head. The definition streaming in unpromising deception. A slang of a seductress, a demon Aphrodite, known to bring men to their knees. A grainy picture of a deplorable bat, high clawed wings with the body of a woman, swam desolately in my vision.
Their ability to overpower any man with a look or an innocent smile caused the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end.
I moved stiffly from where I sat on the couch. The quiet suddenly made me suspicious, the air was too languid and the thickness of the silence so still that even an exhale of breath would disturb it. My gut stiffened and I could feel my senses heighten, my pupils dilated into fine slits, while my muscles coiled.
The house was never this quiet; I could always make out the slight undertone of a whispered thought. Just as I disregarded the complete isolation surrounding me, the enriched silence faltered as the airwaves picked up the tiniest vibration of sound coming from deep in the darkness of the encroaching forest lining the yard. The tiniest hair of a hushed thought, circling through my head, the distinct tone of Tanya.
Edward is all alone.
Her tone was teasing and sultry, as if she knew I had heard her. I listened harder, hearing the distinct crackle of her feet touch the surface of the forests floor. She was walking— almost stalking up to the house.
I relaxed the tiniest fraction, but the hairs on my arms stood on end and a tiny voice in the back of my head growled menacingly.
The sting of bitter fire, burning cold flesh, touched at my insides, the distinct feeling of uneasiness was always worse with Tanya…
Her thoughts were more inconspicuous then her sisters. She was always aware of every movement I made and could never forget that I could hear her every thought, and encroach on her every want. She always seemed to be watching me, like a hawk eyeing its prey. I always grew distinctly uncomfortable under her unwavering gaze, and if I ever caught her eye, she'd never back down.
Her thoughts, if they weren't concealed, were obvious. Even when she wasn't distracted, her desire was evident. She thought it only natural; she was alone as was I, why shouldn't we find solace in one another's company?
We shared the same morals and practiced the same eating habits. She was attracted to me, and assumed that every man was attracted to her.
I had thought about it. Seeing the inflection in my family's eyes, the logic couldn't be argued. And I did find her beautiful. But even though I couldn't summon sisterly love for Tanya, I neither could summon desire nor even match her lust.
I fidgeted, twisting in my seat, waiting inevitably for Tanya's appearance.
"Hey Edward," she sang, slinging from the sliding glass door, and blowing her scent through the room.
I looked up. Her long hair was flowing in waves down her back, framing just below her shoulders in loose bronzy curls. Her eyes were freshly dosed in a bout of impenetrable topaz. Her full lips red, with the residue of her prey, and her cheeks still flushed from the victory of her stake.
I felt my eyes travel lower, as if my reflexes had taken over and I couldn't control the muscles in any part of my body. Her body was sheathed in an impractical, lacy camisole. Tight against her curves, following the lines of her body to her tight jeans, stained with grass and blood, dirty at the knees and to her feet where they were ripped and torn from overuse. My form stiffened and I involuntarily breathed deeper, catching the taste of blood fresh on her lips, mixed with her saccharine scent.
I quickly looked up, feeling awkward as an uncomfortable silence settled over us. A coy smile played at her lips and I tried determinedly to block her reeling thoughts, to not return her seductive glare, and to ignore the unnatural heat that begun to pick like a dagger at the insides of my skin. I broke her gaze, quickly looking at my hands carefully folded in my lap.
The voice was soft and alluring, even in her thoughts. She carefully crossed the distance of the room, and silently sat beside me. I repressed the urge to cringe as her leg brushed mine.
Her small white hand, flashed out and grasped mine, still folded in my lap. Her skin wasn't as I expected, I had always assumed her touch would be as intensified as the singeing numb of the abnormal prickle I'd feel in her presence. But her skin was just as I icy as mine.
I looked up, catching her eye. She was dangerously close, her lips barely a fraction away. I swallowed, jerking back and freeing my hands as I did.
My body, screamed in discontent, wanting nothing more then to return the desires flaming throughout her thoughts, to touch my lips to hers and experience the unexplainable prickle of heat, to taste the blood still dripping from her lips…
I stood up, about to face her, but she was already there. She smiled bewitchingly before pressing her form hard against mine and weaving her experienced fingers around my neck in a vice grip. I didn't know where to put my hands. I toyed with the idea of fitting them around her waist or settling them around her, between the indent of her lower back. My desires reamed out in want, at the prospect of fitting them over her jutting chest which was brushing temptingly against mine.
Venom flowed in my mouth and a rush of craving ignited in fever throughout my dead veins. All rationality faded until nothing distinct existed. My eyes glazed over just before she crushed herself closer, I could feel her cold breath swirling into my open mouth.
I know you want me…
Her eyes fluttered closed just as she lunged forward in evident desire. I reeled back, before her lips touched mine. Breaking her grasp around my neck roughly, shaking her off with a flick of my wrist.
"No I don't," I breathed.
She looked startled. As if I slapped her. I immediately regretted my decision, realizing how unchivalrous my rejection was. "I'm sorry." I said, running my hand through my hair, and falling a distinct step back, putting more space between us. "You are really beautiful Tanya, and I enjoy your company… But I just don't see you that way." I fretted feeling awkward.
She laughed bouncing forward; I blanched stepping another distinct step back. "That's not exactly the impression I got…" she said coyly, I caught her eye as she winked, nodding her head to the distinct uncomfortable bulge in my pants.
I backed up again knocking into a cedar wall beam in the progress. She walked forward slowly, allowing her hips to sway at the motion. "I can help you with that, you know." she said slyly.
"Tanya, please stop." I shouted brusquely, pinning my hands at my sides. She did, she cocked her head to the side, and I caught a distinct hint of rejection glinting in her golden eyes.
The voice even in her mind was muffled with hurt.
I sighed; I didn't want to cause her pain. But I knew that in the end I would never want to be with her. I didn't need anyone. I was alone and complete in myself, and that was exactly the way I liked it.
"Tanya, I truly am sorry. I really don't ever see this working out. I'm not right for you. And I' am sincerely sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. But you should know that I remain completely uninterested." I recited, trying to avoid the hurt in her eyes.
"I respect that Edward." I was surprised by the level in her voice. Her eyes cleared and warmth settled over her features. She stepped one last foot forward, and I cringed against the wall. She smiled and deftly touched my cheek with the tips of her fingers. "You, Edward Cullen, are going to make some girl very happy."
I sighed, as my muscles relaxed and gave her a reassuring half grin. She leaned forward and touched her glassy lips against the surface of my cheek. "Don't give up on love." She said, "Because at any moment it will appear and knock you to your knees before you even know what hit you."
She stepped back and released me from her eyes.
I sighed pinching the bridge of my nose between my index finger and thumb. I already knew that that would never be true. I watched as she walked out of the room.
I turned running from the house, letting time take and catch my breath, to hold me in oblivion and allow myself to be dragged through infinity.
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