I have got a new keyboard and it's soooo weird! XD
Anyway, Number 6... one of my favourites. *cackles evilly*


Two weeks later, the Doctor and Rose were finally able to move into their new home. After two more 'incidences' Pete got enough and hired two men, the Doctor named fittingly 'the men in black'. They stood in black suits and sunglasses in a corner and acted like they weren't there. Whenever the Doctor and Rose were 'distracted' from their work of painting and arranging the furniture, they reminded them of their presence with a loud cough or deprecating stare (however they managed to do that through the sunglasses was beyond the Doctor).

If someone who didn't know the Doctor and Rose now stepped inside the house, it would strike them both as odd and utterly fascinating. Every room had furniture typical for a certain century. There were antique pieces as well as specially made ones, the Doctor designed after a future art style. Their bed itself had carvings from a planet in the distant future where they spent several nights on. Nothing happened then of course, but they had to share a bed due to the strange religious believes of the inhabitants (and the Doctor's big gob... he just had to tell them Rose and him were married to tease her).

It was the Doctor's idea to arrange the rooms like this, but Rose had a special idea of her own. Unbeknownst to the human Time Lord, she ordered a door which looked exactly like the one from the TARDIS to use it as the front door. The Doctor's eyes sparkled with joy when he saw what she did and he gave her one of the most passionate kisses, they had ever shared.

Now, everything was finally ready and not a second too early... Jackie and the Doctor nearly tried to kill each other. ("Rose, I swear to you, she tried to mix aspirin into my food!" "Oh, don't be daft! She doesn't even know, you are allergic to it... And you are human now, anyway." "You really have no idea about your mother's dark nature...")

"This is it, Chuck: Our new home!" the Doctor said proudly when he stepped together with the little palm tree through the front door. Chuck spent the whole time, Rose and the Doctor needed to renovate the house, in Jackie's care. Much to the Doctor's annoyance, it turned out that those two got on surprisingly well... so well in fact that they began to laugh at the human Time Lord whenever he passed them in the mansion. Of course the Doctor didn't want to realise Chuck's real nature, so he insisted on Jackie having a bad influence on him. Whenever Rose tried to convince him of the contrary, he began to throw a tantrum and refused to speak to her for hours (which Rose used of course whenever one of her favourite chick flicks was on).

Being finally able to move in, the Doctor's mood increased remarkably... he even invented a little "got-rid-of-the-monster"-dance. Being reminded by Rose with a kick against his shin that said 'monster' was also her mother, he refrained from using it ever since though.

During the little tour for Chuck, Rose noticed the little palm tree was unusual quiet so she voiced her thoughts to her soon-to-be husband.

"Oh, I just gagged him psychically. He began to make fun of me by sending embarrassing images from me in strange costumes so I had to punish him a little. Think he will stop when he is long enough separated from your mother..."

"Doctor, he acted the exact same way bef-"

"And that, Chuck, is our fireplace! Brilliant, isn't it?" he cut her off before Rose was able to say anything against his beloved plant. "Ooh! I haven't told you yet about our adventure with the time windows leading to 18th century France! You see, there was this fireplace, one of the time windows, and I accidentally went through it to the 18th century. Guess who I-"

"-snogged while my companions were all alone on a deserted, but not quite, spaceship," Rose's angry voice finished the sentence for him. The Doctor gulped when he felt her not pleasantly fiery gaze upon him. He momentarily forgot Rose was in the same room and babbled on like the total idiot, he was sometimes ...

Slowly, he turned around to apologise to her before she got the idea to let him sleep on the couch for the rest of the month... but every thought of that was gone when he saw the look inside her eyes. Despite the obvious anger, there was also quite a lot of hurt and his single heart sank to his stomach at the sight. "Rose... I thought we were good. It happened before we were together and even then I only loved you. I had no feelings none so ever for Reinette."

"None, huh?" she asked, her voice slightly shaky. "Didn't look like it..."

"Okay, I liked her. Of course I did, but only as a friend."

"That was what you wanted us to be at the time..." Tears began to well up inside her eyes. "I don't think I can forgive you after all..."

The Doctor went to her and seized her by the shoulders. "Please, I do anything! I just-"

"Oh, that's great!" Rose said, her voice suddenly cheerful without a trace of sorrow. "You see, there is this report I still have to write about the Ongolokinomariak invasion... Be a nice little Time lord and do that for me, yeah? I'm off shopping with alternative Shareen." She grabbed her bag from one of the chairs in the living room and rushed out of the house with a quick 'bye' before the Doctor was able to reply anything.

"...Damn, that woman is evil!"

Hadn't Chuck been gagged, he would have snorted with laughter.


Two-hundred-thirty-one pages of damage reports later, the Doctor schemed an evil plan to get back at his beloved and cackled with evil laughter when he got the fitting idea. Oh, she would be furious... but he wouldn't be the Doctor if he backed off because of possible pain (at least not as long as Jackie Tyler wasn't involved...).

After placing the still gagged Chuck between his two favourite orchids, the Doctor began to prepare Rose's surprise...


"I'm home!" Rose shouted when she entered the house, balancing countless shopping bags in her hands. After placing the bags next to the door and taking off her jacket, she stepped into the living room and gasped at the sight. It was illuminated by countless candles and a trail of rose petals led upstairs. Following the petals, she reached the likewise illuminated bedroom and giggled when she spotted the bed full of rose petals and the Doctor dressed merely in a thin bathrobe.

Suggestively, he wiggled his eyebrows and said huskily, "I thought we should... celebrate... our new bedroom." He stood up and went to the table to get them both a glass of champagne.

Still giggling, Rose accepted it and drowned it in one gulp. "Soo... what do you have in mind?"

"Ooh... a night full of kinky sex and handcuffs," he returned, grinning broadly.

"Sounds good... but who is going to get shackled?"

She got her answer when he suddenly picked her up and threw her on the bed. Rose squealed when the bed bounced up and down and pouted when she felt the familiar feeling of handcuffs on her wrists.

"No fair! Why am I always the one tied up?"

"Because I love you that way," the Doctor retorted cheekily and went to the bedside table.

Rose raised her eyebrows when he took her make-up set out. "Doctor... what are you doing?"

He grinned evilly when he found his target: a lipstick in an extremely horrible shade of green.

"I didn't forget your little act from earlier, Rosie... Payback time!"

And with that, he lunged at her and began to drew on her face. Rose screamed in protest but that only seemed to cheer him on. When the Doctor finished, she looked like a green alien clown... save for the glare she gave him, of course.

Gleeful about his 'work', he pulled a digital camera out of his jacket and grinned smugly at her. "I think Jake and the others would love to see you like this..."

Rose named him some names, the Doctor was sure the TARDIS would never ever have translated, when he took several pictures from different angles of her.

"Alright already! I'm sorry, okay? Just stop this crap now."

The Doctor's frowned in mock thoughtfulness. "Hmm... I don't think I can forgive you quite that easily, Rose..." Then he suddenly grinned sheepishly and tapped on his camera. "You know... if we could make some pictures for our personal collection, I may be able to forget your little stunt from earlier."

That only caused Rose to intensify her glare. Due to that damn list, he already suggested a few times to make some naughty pictures but Rose always said no out of fear, someone other than them could find them. Now, it seemed she had no choice any more... "Alright, I get it. But let me clean my face first and destroy those pictures, will you? Otherwise I won't do it."

The Doctor waved his index finger in front of her face. "Na, na, na! I will keep these until we finished taking the other pictures... Can't have you changing your mind, can we?"

Rose suddenly got the urge to stick that camera of his where the sun wasn't shining but put a lovely smile on her face instead. Better not to risk anything in her current situation.

"Okay, just open these things, yeah?" she said sweetly, tugging at the handcuffs and looking like the personification of innocence... which she was of course not.

The Doctor gave her that kind of smile, that made her want to shag him senseless every time, and freed her from the fluffy cuffs. Without wasting any time, she went to the bathroom to clean her face while the Doctor took some things out of the wardrobe, he wanted her to wear. When he tried to decide between the nurse costume and a specially naughty set of underwear, he heard Rose scream and grinned to himself. She probably just saw her face.

Changing her face from annoyed to joyful just a second too late, Rose came back into the bedroom and gasped at the choice of clothes, the Doctor held up for her.

"No freaking way!"

His manic grin only widened at her protests. "Aww, but you wanted to do it... Guess, I will have to send these-" He held up the memory card. "-to Jake so he can copy the pictures and hang them up on the black board..."

Rose glared at him. "You are the evillest of evil human Time Lords in all of the universes!"

"Yep, that's me!" he replied proudly and waved the nurse costume in front of her face. "And don't forget the stockings."


One hour of several pictures from Rose in different positions and outfits later, she finally got enough. "Doctor, I'm not wearing the panda costume! There is absolutely nothing sexy about that one! The cat costume maybe... even the penguin outfit had something... but panda? No way!"

"Aww, but you look sooo cute in it!"

"I would rather be naked, then wearing th-" She regretted the sentence before she ended it... the Doctor had that kind of glint in his eyes.

"Brilliant! Wanted you to do that the whole time!" he said, beaming at her.

Rose groaned but stepped out of her clothes (maid costume this time). "I'm so gonna kill you some day..." she muttered, while he waited for her to do some sexy poses.

The Doctor swallowed hard when she began to stretch out on the bed like a cat in the sun and even began to purr loudly. "R-Rose Tyler, are you trying to seduce me?"

"What if I am? It's such a shame, I'm lying on the bed here totally naked while you are still so terribly clothed... Can't have that, can we?"

The Doctor swallowed again, when Rose slowly stood up and went gracefully over to him. The camera hang forgotten in his right hand as she grabbed his tie and pulled his head down to hers. Instead of kissing him like he expected her however, she moved her lips to his ear and whispered, "I think it's my turn to take some pictures..."

Before he was able to react, she grabbed the camera and pushed him onto the bed. Rose lay the camera on the bedside table and crawled over to him. Tentatively slow, she got him out of his shirt and began to work on his trousers.

"Rose, I don't think it would be good to take pictures from me, now..."

She didn't have to ask why... she was already able to see and feel his hard erection through the thin layers of his trousers. "Ah, seems to me like we will celebrate tonight after all... And know what, my evil little Time Lord?" Rose crawled up to straggle his lap and the Doctor gulped at the sudden contact. "I won't let you sleep tonight..."

He didn't think she would find bad boys that attractive but when he saw the lustful gaze inside her eyes, he silently thanked every entity for that fact.

Slowly, she opened his fly and said, "And now, the party is gonna start, my bad, bad Doctor..."