Skyskater's Daily Note: So sorry for not updating. My computer has yet ANOTHER virus, or, let me say this correctly, another buttload of viruses. Ho-kay.
On another note, the awards chapter will be up very, very soon! Please remember that you are NOT allowed to send in challenges for HGTHS: Sophomore Year that involve Hitsugaya and the gang going somewhere. Okay? It must all stay in school, as we completely ditched like half of freshman year to go running around the globe.
Song of the Day: "Move Along" - All American Rejects
First of all, before I get started, I would like to say that it is not my fault that I have not been updating. If you must blame anyone, blame Skyskater and blame the shitty people who make a living out of forcing poor innocent people into buying their so proclaimed "antivirus" software that does not actually work. Trust me. AVG Free Edition is much better.
Anyway, the real reason that I could not update is because I was getting...ahem...inseminated while intoxicated. And, let's just say that Szayel, that pompous gay bastard, made me go through a whole bunch of procedures, such as MRIs, CT scans, and Lumbar Punctures which, according to his last account, were not necessary. I've already been pregnant once, why would he need to check the strength of my spine now?! God. I never thought I would live to see the day when a male said, "Oh, yes, I've already been pregnant once." And I most definitely thought I would be dead for at LEAST ten centuries before I learned that the male was me.
My life sucks.
I wish I could give Szayel an LP. You know, to check whether HIS spine is strong enough to withstand the weight of a child. However, I intend to miss.
Malicious thoughts that I would indeed like to carry out. Oh yes, I would.
I'm going to run away before I actually harm anyone.
This is I, Szayel Aporro Grantz reporting once again. It appears as though Subject A has gone missing! And he has completely hidden his reiatsu so that we have no idea where in the world/dimension he is. Subject A should really learn to stop practicing this risky behavior; he is with child, a child that could potentially be Jesus's rival! But then again, I was never one for religion. I'm a man of science.
Well, while Subject A is missing and while my henchmen are attempting to track him down, I believe I shall sit here patiently and wait and ask Ulquiorra and Grimmjow if I could perhaps borrow their two darling little boys. For a study. Haven't you ever wondered how Ulquiorra was able to get pregnant even though, according to Grimmjow, he was the one on top? Well, it is time to put my theory to the test. It appears as though Arrancars, and especially those of high rank, such as we, the Espada, have the ability to "be on top" in a sexual encounter and still get pregnant. Our bodies are apparently immuno compromised, you see, and so, when encountered with sex of any kind, we are able to get pregnant so that our children can live on if we happen to die from an infection. Very self sacrificial. It's just a good thing Ulquiorra didn't get lupus or something! Or even worse, gonorrhea. I'm sure Grimmjow has that.
Oh. It appears as though I will not be able to do that study on Gomi and Basura after all, because Subject A has just come running back out of nowhere. Hmm...and I was so looking forward to sticking a scalpels in their skulls! Oh well. That will have to wait.
Subject A is now screaming and ranting about some terrible mob of "beasties" that he encountered on his journey to wherever he went. Il Forte has not had any luck with extracting more information from him, other than the fact that these "beasties" gather in mobs and happen to be the female gender.
I must make sure to research these "beasties" when I get a chance.
Right now, however, I have more pressing matters to worry about than mythological "beasties" and Subject A's ranting about them. Ulquiorra has just started a Trash-based cult, complete with secret handshakes, goat slaughtering, and whatnot. Grimmjow appears very supportive of it. I wonder if the syphilis has gotten to his brain yet? That would certainly explain the stupid smiling and nodding. Or perhaps it is just his lack of mental stability whatsoever. Or perhaps a joint effort of the syphilis and his already degraded mental system. Yes, that seems very likely.
The state of subject C (Ukitake, Jyuushirou) is getting worse. I have been keeping him under watch day and night and even gone so far as to have Il Forte ransack the nursery of the local hospital in order to quell Subject C's thirst for newborn blood. However, it appears as though mortal babies' blood will not sate his vampirism, and he needs a Shinigaim newborn's blood. How interesting. I must remember to make notes of this condition, just in case anybody else gets it. In which case, I shall be sure to refer to Subjects A and B once more.
Well, perhaps not Subject A, as he seems too mentally unstable. And Subject B is just rather...stupid, if you will forgive my crude language. However, they both have good chromosomes, so the chances of mental instability and airheadedness affecting their baby is very little.
I should start Subject A on fertility treatments after he delivers. That way, if Subject C happens to get this "Armageddon" virus again, we will have babies in stock for him to feast on.
And it is amazing how little Subject A's first baby resembles Stark. She is not lazy whatsoever and in fact does not sleep very much, and she has been causing Ulquiorra and Grimmjow many headaches, as they have been the primary caretakers of her through this trying ordeal on Subject A. Thankfully they have not thrown her through a wall yet. The protective harness keeps them from doing that.
Well, I'm signing off now. I need to go and check up on Subjects D and E (Muguruma, Kensei, and Shuuhei, Hisagi) to make sure that they are indeed having protected sex. A man of science does not need to waste his time treating clearly irresponsibile shinigami for AIDS.
The 9th of August
Going to check up on Subjects D and E
Grantz, Aporro Szayel
Part of a challenge sent in by MRegent.2
ALSO, NO FLAMES! IF YOU FLAME, ME AND SHIRO-CHAN WILL MAKE YOU A GOAT FOR ULQUIORRA'S TRASH-CULT!