Skyskater's Daily Note: I am taking French 1. So...Salut everybody! (That means, "Hey.")
My French name is Aline, pronounced Ah-Lean. You may now refer to me as Aline.
Daily Advice: Don't bring perfume into the locker rooms. It could fall out of your locker, break, and someone could cut open their foot. Deodorant is a much better way of keeping yourself smelling fresh.
Right. I'm over the whole shock about Matsumoto reading my journal. And Gin as well. Apparently he has this sixth sense built in that allows him to find diaries/journals in any person's house, assuming said person has a diary. Mayuri is now conducting an extensive study complete with cameras under the toilet seat to prove that Gin's sixth sense is real. Although I don't know how installing cameras under the toilet is going to work out...
Of course, knowing my karma, since I'm over THAT specific shock, something just HAS to go wrong to make me even more shocked and mentally scarred than I already am. And I mean, this is SUPER mentally scarred. Not like the time when I was mentally scarred when I realized that Orihime had gotten Ulquiorra pregnant. Not like the time when I was mentally scarred after realizing that Kira was so silent because he had strong sexual urges, which we learned about two chapters ago. I mean, this is like Mental Scarrage on the 25th level. If that's even a level on the Mental Scarrage chart. I don't think it is. It only goes up to 10.
So, I'm sure you're all dying to know what this latest Mental Scarrage event was. It was bad. I mean, thank God they weren't a porn video, but still! Don't you guys have any decency? While there are people in the same house as you, wouldn't it be a good idea to LOCK some doors?! Apparently not for Ichigo and Yoruichi.
I was walking through the house looking for something to eat. Because Urahara never stores any of the good food in his fridge or pantry, he hides it all over the house for some unknown reason. What does he think? Someone is gonna break into his house, not steal any of the valuables, but head straight to the fridge? Well...then again, I suppose Omaeda might do that, but STILL! So I was looking for some good food to eat, something of the Lays persuasion, and I come upon Ichigo and Yoruichi fucking on the floor. I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
"Okay. What. The. Hell. Is. This." That's what I said. I was so shocked, I couldn't even make a sentence that was more than one word.
Ichigo, who clearly has gotten another woman pregnant, was all, "Uh, dude! WTF! You can't just walk in on people like that!
And Yoruichi, who was having sex with Urahara a few chapters back, was all, "Yeah. A little privacy wouldn't kill you. But if you wanna join in..."
And then Ichigo, not even letting me say that I was not sexually active, was all, "Don't go getting any ideas, there, little boy. If you wanna run with the big dogs, stop pooping like a puppy."
Then before I could think of a good comeback to this, Rukia walks in from the other room, three months pregnant, and she's all, "Ichigo! I need more water bottles to poke holes in for telescopes! E.T. said he was going to come any hour now! Where are y - OMFG." That's how shocked she was. The noble Kuchiki lady was so shocked she had to result to IMing terms. Then again, this is quite intelligent, compared to her brother...
Soi Fong beamed herself down from Soul Society into that room at that precise minute, while everybody was standing, or, in Ichigo's and Yoruichi's case, lying, around, in complete shock, and she was all, "Lady Yoruichi! You said you needed me for - Holy shit piss crap motherfucker bitchslap and tits. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!" You know, I never knew it was possible to use that many cuss words in one sentence and still make perfect sense.
Ichigo, who clearly wanted to finish his foray, was all, "Okay. Who else is gonna interrupt me now? The mafia?"
Then something, much, much worse than the Mafia came...
"Ichigo Kurosaki. Round 2 begins so...HAVE YOU NO SHAME, BOY?!" Byakuya screeched. Yes. He is much worse than the Mafia.
Then Yoruichi, who just does not know when to shut up, was all, "Hey, Ichigo, did you know you're my first?" Yeah. Right. What a total liar.
Ichigo was all, "I am?" Clearly he must not remember that one porn video.
"What?" Soi Fong said, clearly shocked.
Everybody stared at Ichigo and Yoruichi. But mostly at Yoruichi. Surprisingly, Urahara was strangely absent from this whole hubbub...
"Well, guy anyway." That's what Yoruichi said. And then I just had to step forward and open my big mouth...
"But you and Urahara, and me, and that porn video where I was wearing that fugly jacket..."
"Well, yeah, but see, I'm kind of weird," (no kidding) "so my hymen regrows when I change into a cat and then change back, so technically Ichigo is my first guy."
Then everybody had a massive nosebleed, and let's just say that the hospital had quite a few more rooms occupied. With the exception of Soi Fong and Yoruichi. Not surprising. Since they're clearly both lesbian.
After we came back from the hospital, Ichigo was all, "No fucking way! Are you kidding me?!"
Then Soi Fong, who was having a mental breakdown because she thought Yoruichi, who was never going out with her in the first place, was cheating on her and their nonexistent relationship: "How could you do this to me, Lady Yoruichi!"
Then, of course, being the peacemaker that I am and feeling much more clearheaded after two bags of blood, I said, to Yoruichi, "I always wondered what your sexual orientation was. Of course, I was not quite sure if you were lesbian or straight, so I assumed you were bi. And I was right. So, if anybody needs me, I'll be in one of three places: in a mental institution, in a closet, crying because I've just been Mentally Scarred on the 25th level of the Mental Scarrage chart, or owning noobs on Halo 3 or Counterstrike as always."
Then I made my grand exit. Of course, I did all three of those things, in the span of one day. So...I've had a pretty productive day so far. I just really, really REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that nothing else happens that's so bad that it's a 26 on the Mental Scarrage chart...otherwise my brain will explode.
I think I must be the most mentally scarred person on the face of this Earth.
Owning Noobs on Halo 3/Counterstrike
This was a challenge done for Assault Godzilla. About Hitsugaya walking in on Yoruichi and Ichigo. Do me a favor, you guys, and go check out Raising Zaera if you're interested in Szayel.
ALSO, NO FLAMES! OR ME AND SHIRO-CHAN WILL DO SOMETHING TO YOU THAT IS SO BAD THAT IT IS A TWENTY-SEVEN ON THE MENTAL SCARRAGE CHART!!!