A/N This story is in response the the Fluffy Bunny Challenge on HPFC. My character was Lee Jordan, and I've written in a style I haven't written before. I appologize in advance for any grammar and spelling errors, this was not sent through a beta and those are not my strong points. Be warned, silliness follows.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is related to Harry Potter.
A Lee Jordan Story
Fluffy bunnies? George couldn't be serious could he, I mean true he's gotten more serious about things since Fred… Not going to think about that at the moment, but really, George is trying to tell me that fluffy bunnies are on the loose down Diagon Alley and I should be reporting about them on my show instead of the fact that the Weird Sisters have broken up… again.
I admit, I don't buy the whole Weird Sisters breaking up, I've been working for the WWN long enough to know that it's some publicity stunt, but it's still the news that the listeners want to hear. Why would I be reporting about fluffy bunnies? Why? Fluffy bunnies can be pretty darn cute sometimes, and I'm sure they aren't going to be causing any damage besides a few school aged witches knocking each other over as they try to catch them. Sorry George, you're one of my best mates, but even I'm not going to buy into that.
I should be happy that George is trying to trick me on this, it's a sign of improvement and I must admit that he's a slight bit more fun to be around now. It only took him five years to make this small improvement I guess in another five he'll be telling me that a giant chicken heart is trying to take over Hogwarts. Sure, what idiot is going to believe that?
George is never going to see this one coming though. He may be pestering me with owls trying to get me to report about those bunnies, but I have a plan. I'll report about the fluffy bunnies all right, right after I break the news to everyone about the Weird Sisters. Think I'll end the broadcast with that news, and follow it up with Weasley's Wizard Wheezes is offering half off all merchandise for anyone who goes and shops within the hour. All you need to do is say fluffy bunnies and that you heard about it on the WWN. George is going to love that.
My broadcast is almost over now, and I'm about to make the announcement. I hope you're listening out there George, otherwise your going to be in for a shock when the shop is stormed with people saying fluffy bunnies and they heard about it on the WWN.
It's done, I think I'll just apparate on over to the shop and watch the utter chaos. Plus, I don't want to miss the look on George's face when it happens, granted it would have been even funnier if Fred was there but… not thinking about that am I.
Merlin, this is worst then I thought. The shop has hit chaos and then it passed right by it. I don't even know what to call what's happening right now in that shop. George hasn't even been able to say one word to me, he's to busy trying to please all the customers, and not give them the half off discount. To bad for him, it's not working so well, the not giving them the discount anyway.
What just happened? Why is Fred standing in front of me and what happened to the shop? And why in Godric do I have shoe marks all over me and is Fred laughing? Fred better not be laughing, because if Fred is laughing that means that I've…
Merlin pants, I think that plan just backfired in a huge way. I always thought I'd die in the war. When I survived that, I figured I'd die peacefully in my sleep. Instead I just got trampled to death by a bunch of Hogwarts students as they stormed the shop for their half off discount because there was only five minutes left before the hour was up. This is too surreal.
A/N First I'd like to credit JJ Rust for the giant chicken heart. I took that with permission from his story, The Giant Chicken Heart That Ate Hogwarts if you have not read that or any other works by JJ Rust I highly suggest you do so. You can find him on my Favorite Authors list.
Sorry everyone for killing off Lee Jordan, but the challenge was actually the Kill Off Your Main Character Challenge. Fluffy bunny was just the code word for it, and I decided to actually use the code word in my story. I know this was really silly, but the plot hit me and I ran with it.