How did I get here?
"Are you crazy?" I yelled at my two best friends. "This is your great idea on how I am going to find 'The One'?" They had most definitely lost their minds this time. I really do not know why I keep letting them talk me into stupid ideas. I guess it is just the fact that at least they have an idea where I am completely stumped. But this was still ridiculous.
"No one said anything about 'The One'." Emmett said crossing his massive arms in front of his chest. "At this point we would settle for a one night stand."
"Edward, how long has it been since you have had a girl?" Jasper asked with a stupid smile on his face. He knew it had been quite a while. After all we all lived in the same apartment. They would know if I had brought anyone to stay the night - or, more importantly, if I had spent the night at anyone else's.
"A while" I answered, not really impressed with either of them. "And this is how you see that happening again? Me, speed talking to ten girls in an hour, and then rating their possibilities. Speed dating is your great idea?"
"Don't worry man. We will be there with you."
"Jasper, is this your twisted way of saying that you two want to give it a go and you are dragging me with you so you are not shamed alone?"
"How does he always figure it out?" Emmett muttered under his breath.
"Listen man, I know this guy that is opening a new club downtown. He invited us to the opening weekend where he is having a speed dating rundown. He said that he has gone through and made sure that the women are all top of the line. They are beautiful women with all kinds of occupations. You are bound to find at least one that you like. Man you can't pass up this opportunity."
"I can and I think I will." How exactly did he make sure that the women were 'top of the line' as Emmett said? This was feeling worse all the time. After Emmett's little explanation I was now feeling a bit sleazy too.
"Edward you are going with us. There is no getting out of it. We leave in one hour. Go get dressed. And don't think that if you don't dress up we will leave you behind. You will only be embarrassing yourself if you look like shit." Emmett said forcefully as he went to his room to change.
It was obvious that I was not getting out of this. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed loudly as I turned to my room to shower and change. I could not believe that they were putting me through this. My only consolation was that they were going down with me. I really wish they weren't putting me through this though. I realize that they are my friends – best friends as a matter of fact – but this was just going too far. Didn't they realize that there was really no 'The One', for us? I would give almost anything for there to be. I am so tired of going out and dating women that are only on my arm for the fact of being the one there. As stupid as it sounds, me being a guy and all, I really wanted that fairy tale ending. I wanted to be the knight in shining armor that saves the girl and makes all her dreams come true. But when those dreams include being the wife of a millionaire just so they could spend your money and do nothing all day … that is not the girl I wanted.
But this was not the way to find her either.
When you are rich and good looking there really is no 'The One'. All you can find then is loose women or gold diggers. I was not interested in either. Now don't get me wrong, I am not conceded. I am just aware of my standing. I have been with and around many a woman that just can't help but tell me how gorgeous I am. After a while it actually can get annoying. You can choose to believe me or not, but this is how I feel.
Don't even get me started on 'The One'. Granted I have no intentions of joining the priesthood. But I have definitely given up on this notion that there is someone out there that is just for me. That is a fairy tale told to small children to help them believe in magic. But magic does not exist. Why do I still want it to deep down though?
At this moment I really would settle for a girl with a brain. Is a small conversation really that much to ask for. Why is it that the only girls that can throw themselves at me are the ones that you can hear the marbles rolling around in their air heads when they flip their hair back? Why do they do that anyway? Who exactly told them that that was sexy?
I really do not expect a total brain. With my looks that really doesn't seem to be possible. However, some faithfulness would also be nice. I do not see how loyalty is so easily traded. This all just shows that I am right and 'The One' is just a fairy tale.
Magic is fake and true love is the longest running joke on the face of the planet.
I cannot believe that there will be a score card. This is the most humiliating thing these two have put me through. As if this whole thing won't be degrading enough. I am so going to kill Alice and Rosalie. They say that I have been man-less for far too long; just because they have never gone for more than a month without a man.
Not that that means much to me. They are gorgeous and I am not. I still to this day have a hard time believing that we are such good friends. We met in college and have managed to stick together ever since. We have lived together and worked together for years now. We have even managed to set each other up on blind dates.
This, however, is the first time in a long time – years actually – that we are all single at the same time. So Alice, the pixie herself, came up with this great plan to get us all accomplished men in no time. That great idea was speed dating. A friend of ours from college, and her husband, just opened up a new club right around the block from us. They decided, for a grand opening celebration, to get together some of their single friends and try some matchmaking. I really do love Angela, but this is just ridiculous.
The fact that I knew the owner had to be the only reason I was even invited. There is nothing about me that would make me a candidate for anything like this. We got to the club a little early. Angie and Ben wanted us to help set up. They were a little nervous about their big opening night. I suspect that they really just wanted some extra support. We were happy to give it to them though.
Alice signed us up to be in the second grouping. There was going to be three speed dating groups. Alice figured that the first group would be full of the over eager not so gentleman. The third grouping will keep us too long to go get drinks afterword if we hit it off with anyone. Not that I saw that as a possibility.
So now I am getting ready to sit down at a table and see just how much of a fool I can make of myself in five minutes. Then I get to repeat the process all over again another nine times. Isn't my life great?
So this is the rundown that Angela gave us once all the girls had shown up. The guys were sat at the ten tables and would not move. We, on the other hand, each pulled a number out of a bag. The tables were numbered and we would start at the table with the same number. We then had five minutes to talk and then a bell would go off and we would move to the next table. Then the guys would turn in their score cards that say how much they liked us. This is truly a new low. I could not logically find a reason for myself being here. Then tomorrow we would get any official offerings from the guys that liked us as much as we liked them.
But that, of course, is not how Alice planned things. She said to pay attention and that if I really liked someone we would just ask them to join us for drinks afterword. I still wasn't sure this was going to happen. But it is always less painful to go along with Alice.
Well here goes nothing.