Lisa Cuddy had never really thought about her sexuality before. She'd just been straight and liked men, and that was it. She thought other women were pretty, beautiful, she'd had conversations about women, with her sister, her friends (in the long ago days when she still spoke to her sister, still had friends), she never really been attracted to another woman.
Someone had told her once, that there was one person for everyone. She'd never really believed that.
It was definitely lust at first sight.
Cute ass and a gorgeous smile that she rarely saw, but made Lisa feel a little weird, like her stomach was doing somersaults. It was ridiculous really, Thirteen was ten years younger than her (and a little more) and a woman.
Long legs, pretty eyes that lit up like fireworks when she had a good idea, something she'd been so glad to witness. And she was clever, really clever. She was hoping House would hire her from the moment she laid her eyes on her, hair bouncing in curls at the bottom, sadness on her face that rarely went away but was still beautiful to Lisa. Because she wanted to know why the younger woman was so sad. Because she wanted to make her smile.
As the potential fellows were whittled down by House's crazy games, she knew Thirteen would probably be hired, she could tell by the way House acted around her, reacted to her, and how she reacted to him. They pushed and pulled at each other, and it made Lisa jealous, their interactions made her jealous. She wanted that, the push and pull that made Thirteen, Remy, smile and angry, or, anything that wasn't sad.
She was so screwed.
She'd had better ideas, she knew, than asking her out. Like going out with Wilson, or trying to get pregnant. But she'd had far, far worse ideas. Like hiring House, and trying to get pregnant. But the gossip had spread so quickly and she had felt that flutter again with the information that Remy was bisexual, that she actually had a chance. She was terrified, but whatever reaction the young woman had, it would be worth it. Blushes and smiles and acceptance, or maybe, that seductive sadness, before walking away her confidence a little peaked because someone had asked her out (and a little sway in her hips) even if it was only Cuddy.
She had no idea what she was doing, she'd never lacked the confidence to ask someone out, but once Remy's job was secure (she'd never been happier to be played by House) she couldn't think of a good reason not too. Which was ridiculous, because she had always thought up plenty of reasons not to date a colleague before.
Remy was just that beautiful.
"Dr. Hadley," she said, her voice dipping low, half hoping she wouldn't hear her and she could bail out.
There was half a smile, and a flick of her brown hair and Lisa Cuddy's stomach flipped.
"Um, how is everything? Settling in okay?" It was a cop out she knew, but she couldn't just come out with it, maybe she needed to be in her own environment, not House's office, though it was unlikely he would walk in at any moment like she feared. It was too early for him, too early for anyone really, but here she was, here they both were.
"Fine thank you."
"House giving you much trouble?"
"Plenty," she said, "I expected it though."
"That's okay then," she smiled at her. "You're in very early today."
"You too." Cuddy smiled again, Thirteen wasn't going to give her anything.
"I was wondering, if you wanted to have a drink sometime, with me," Cuddy stumbled over the words, blushing bright red under Thriteen's intense gaze.
"Er yeah, I'd like that," she smiled, grinned almost, like she knew something Lisa didn't. Which was annoying. "Tonight?"
"Great, um, do you know the Tavern?"
"Yeah, on Quarter Street."
"Seven 'o' clock?" She sounded and felt more confident making plans now she had Remy Hadley's acceptance and smile.
"I'll see you there."
Thirteen hours, four miles and two glasses of wine later and Cuddy felt a little more relaxed.
A lot more.
They had been talking about the little things, the weather and clothes and insignificant things when it came down to it, because it was definitely a date. Remy had acted as such, sidling up to Cuddy, touching her hand, her arm, flicking her hair. Lisa didn't think the younger woman would flirt so much, but she didn't know her as well as she wanted.
And she didn't think she'd be able to flirt back, flirt with another woman.
"I was pretty sure you were straight," Thirteen said in low voice. The bar was quiet and the two women were sitting close together, legs pressed up against each others in the small corner booth.
"I am," she said, smiling at Remy's reaction. She could understand the touch of shock and surprise that graced the woman's face at her statement, they'd been flirting since the arrived at the bar. Even when she was nervous Lisa could flirt, it was natural, sweet smile, head to the side, play with the hair. "Until now."
"Until you," Cuddy clarified.
"I turned you?" The disbelief in her voice made Lisa laugh too loudly.
"No, maybe, I don't know," she rambled, "I just..."
"I get it." Thirteen cut her off and kissed her on the lips, just a quick chaste kiss, eyes darting around the bar afterwards, as if someone was hiding in the shadows waiting for her to kiss her boss and bawl her out for it. "I'm glad you asked me out, I would've asked you," she said, "but I thought you were straight."
"Until now," Remy reminded her with a grin.
"Until now," Lisa Cuddy said with a sigh and smile. She sat back and studied the young woman next to her. Out of the sterile environment of the hospital, or House's some what chaotic office, she looked different, no happier, no more relaxed, but in the darker light, in a brighter top, she glowed. In Lisa's eyes at least, but she was biased because she was completely in lust, more than a little smitten. It also helped that her top had a lower cut than she normally wore at the hospital, revealing more skin than she'd seen. She wanted to reach out and run her fingers over Remy's upper chest, she thought that was probably too much for a first date.
"What?" Thirteen asked softly.
"This is a date."
"Yeah, you asked me out. You're just realising this now."
"Yeah, no, damn," she took a deep breath, "I never normally stutter like this."
"It's okay Lisa," Remy put her hand on hers, rubbing her thumb over her skin. Her name had never sounded so good, so nice, and wondered what it would sound like being moaned or screamed, forced out of Remy's sweet mouth in the middle of an orgasm. She felt her face flushing red and had to look away and stir her drink.
"What are you thinking about?"
"I'm not sure I can say on the first date," Cuddy said, feeling a little more flirtatious again and smiling when Remy blushed. "Another beer?"
"Please." The younger woman squeezed her hand when Lisa went to pull away. She smiled at her.
She had never been so smitten with anyone.
Remy took her dancing.
Cuddy hadn't been to a club for a long time, for the lack of people to go with and for a lack of time. She made time for Remy. Second date was normally dinner, but the younger woman had insisted on something else, because she knew Cuddy had had enough stilted conversations over dinner to last a life time or two and she was sure, was so so sure that if they could get past that awkwardness, the worry that Lisa had about this possible thing, that she was dating a woman, then maybe, maybe there would be a thing, a relationship, something.
Lisa went because she'd seen Thirteen be convincing like that, she was separating the woman and the doctor, Remy and Thirteen. Thirteen could be that passionate about an idea, an answer, and Remy was passionate about her idea. About Lisa.
Made her stomach flutter with the thought of it.
And Remy could dance. Like a siren, and Lisa just wanted to sit at the bar and stare, watch as the younger woman moved and twisted her hips to the rhythm of the songs, the music. Her skin was sweaty and flushed from the body heat around them, little smile on her face and hair messy, wild and this is what Lisa imagined she looked like in bed.
Another flutter and she had never, never been this infatuated with someone before. Let alone a woman. She'd never wanted to take a woman to her bed, but here she was, dancing with Remy in a tiny little club on the other side of town to both the hospital and her home. Far, far away and all alone with her.
She put her hands on her hips, pulled her closed, dared to be confident because Remy was, and she hated feeling out of place in anything, let alone a relationship she had instigated. She had asked her out and now Remy was in charge. She didn't like it, and she didn't like the foot of space between them. The younger woman smiled at her, stepped towards her, dancing closer to her, with her, slowing a little so they could move together. She wrapped her arms around Lisa's shoulders, their bodies slowing to a sway, brushing against each other.
They couldn't talk, the music was too loud, and Lisa could tell the younger woman wanted to say something to her. She decided to be brave again, and pulled the younger woman closer to her, hips to hips, swaying against her. She knew Remy was about to say 'let's get out of here' or something like that but Lisa wasn't ready for that, wasn't really ready for any of this but Remy had a surprising amount of confidence and it made her feel better. She didn't mind being swept up in that quiet kind of certainty if the younger woman felt it.
So she kissed her.
Not like before, not the quick chaste kiss from their first date but the slow slide of lips, the taste of hesitation and attraction on both their tongues and Lisa was glad it wasn't just her. Was glad Remy wasn't flawless in her confidence and was maybe just as attracted to her. They stilled as they kissed, bodies pressed together, surrounded by people that were forgotten about as Remy's hands slipped into Lisa's dark hair and the older woman's grip on her hips tightened in response. She wanted more, but felt eyes on her, people dancing next to her gawping almost, the men and women, and she pulled away to breathe.
Remy almost fell back, and Lisa reached out to grabbed her hand, pulling her straight and back against her body. Against her warmth, because even in the hot club, surrounded by body heat, she felt the loss of the younger woman's heat.
"Want another drink?" she asked her. Remy nodded. Still holding her hand she pulled the woman through the club.
It was getting easier.
She was beyond nervous. Palms sweating, hands shaking, heart breaking. Remy smiled at her, kissing her hands, then cupping her face and kissing her on the lips gently. They were standing on Lisa's doorstep, keys in her hands, just waiting to let them in. Dinner had gone in a flash for the older doctor the whole evening had been pretty much leading up to this, up to something more than sweet kisses on doorsteps and dance floors.
"Lisa..." Remy started, her smile warm.
"Do you want to come in?" she cut in, "for coffee? Or a last beer?"
"Coffee would be great," she replied, letting Lisa go and taking a step back to let her open the door. She followed her in, taking in the decor, the little touches here and there that were all Lisa Cuddy, almost bumping into her when they reached the kitchen. "Sorry, was looking around," she said. Lisa smiled, nodded, she didn't want to say too much because her nerves usually meant she ran her mouth off, said too much, or something stupid and she didn't want that. Even if Remy would probably understand.
She busied herself with the coffee, trying not to look at the younger woman behind her. They had been dating for weeks, getting closer and closer to sex with every evening they spent together. Tonight her long legs had tangled with Remy's under the table, both wearing skirts, the warmth of her skin heating Lisa up. Just thinking about it was making her flush.
Remy came up behind her, wrapping her arms around her and standing on her tip toes so she could rest her head on Lisa's shoulder.
"You're nervous, she stated, placing a soft kiss on the older woman's neck, brushing away the thick dark hair.
"You," she replied, "this, us." Remy tried to get her to turn around and face her but Lisa resisted, remained faced to the counter, the coffee, things she considered much safer than Remy Hadley right now. "You're going to break my heart."
"I'm not going to hurt you," she whispered, kissing her jaw, Lisa turned her head to capture her lips. She had never felt like this. Like she was doomed, but wanted it anyway.
She had definitely never felt anything close to this about another woman before. She was obsessing over it a little too much, she knew, but she couldn't help it.
"Lisa, turn around," Remy ordered and she resisted for a moment. It had been a long time since she had been ordered to do anything. When she turned, Remy was smiling at her, but her eyes were saying something else. Lisa knew she was going to get her heart broken, but kissed the younger woman anyway, pulling her closer so their bodies fit together,
"Let's forget the coffee," she said, forcing out the confidence.
"Sure?" Remy asked. Lisa answered with a nod, then a kiss, hard and demanding. It wasn't about the sex, really, even though her body was on fire. It was about Remy, and how she was falling for her.
She took Lisa's hand in hers, kissing back, tasting of red wine and something uniquely female. Just kissing her was wonderful, and being pushed back against the counter, pressing her body into hers, hands still clasped together.
"Bedroom?" Remy mumbled against her lips, Lisa smiled, letting go of one hand and keeping a firm hold of the other she slipped out from between the counter and the young woman. She pulled her through the house to her bedroom, trying to ignore the 'flutter, flutter' of her heart, her stomach, her clit. She was glad when Remy seemed to ignore her fears, and went straight for the hem of Lisa's red top, palms sliding over her skin as she lifted it up and over her head, catching dark curls as it was pulled free and dropped to the floor. The older woman couldn't bare to look as Remy studied her body, feeling delicate fingers at the clasp at the front of her bra, the lace falling free, then tugged away.
"Lisa, looked at me," Remy whispered the order again. She opened her eyes to see the young woman beaming at her. "You are fucking beautiful," she said. Lisa didn't answer, she just blushed, and kissed her, starting on the buttons of Remy's shirt.
"Maybe," she said, pulling open the white shirt, stripping it from her body. Remy didn't let Lisa lavish any more attention on her, but she fought her, fought to finish undressing the younger woman because she wanted to see. Needed to see. Remy gave into her, grinning and letting herself be undressed, and Lisa was pretty sure she was making an idiot of herself but didn't care, and carried on until the younger woman was standing before her in just a pair of black panties.
The last remaining shred of her heterosexuality went with Remy's remaining shred of clothing.
"Oh God Lisa," Remy panted, back arching unnaturally, "for a straight woman you are really good at thisssss."
From between the young woman's legs, Lisa grinned, a bashful blush spreading across her cheeks that couldn't be seen. It had been harder to do this to, and for, Remy, but she was so beautiful, and she wanted her badly. She was nervous, she wanted to be perfect for Remy, because the younger woman had the experience, and Lisa hated feeling out of her depth like this, she hadn't been inexperienced at anything since she was in med school, but with every (nervous) touch of her tongue to Remy's clit, the woman moaned above her. Her hands were bunched up in the sheets, hips moving, begging for more.
She'd never seen her so out of control and it was stunning. Just stunning. And everything she had imagined.
She slid a finger into Remy's body, pausing, watching the pleasure run across her face, feeling it surround the lone digit.
"More?" she asked, in a playful tone, finding her confidence again.
"Oh please," Remy panted, always panting and Lisa loved the sound of her harsh breaths and words. She slid another finger into her body and began to move, slowly, feeling the heat and wetness of the other woman. It was surreal. Beautiful but surreal. Remy pushed her hips down to try and pull Lisa's fingers in deeper, because she wanted more, more, but couldn't find the breath or the brain cells to formulate any words.
She bent her head to take another taste of Remy Hadley, flicking her tongue over her clit, and pushing against the soft flesh inside her body. Just cause she was straight didn't mean she couldn't figure out exactly how to please a woman. She was pretty capable of pleasing herself, it was just, different, way way different, but so very similar and confusing.
And wonderful, listening to Remy's pants, and breaths and the way her name was starting to slip from her lips. It was exactly how she had imagined from the first time seeing her flushed and sweaty on the dance floor, and when she felt the younger woman's orgasm start, she moved up to kiss her, watch her come, as she moved her fingers in and out of her body, feeling the contractions around them, the very pulse of it, pressing down on her clit hard and kissing her cheek.
Remy moaned her name when she came and no one had ever made her feel so alive.
Remy was holding onto her thighs, thumbs rubbing over her hot skin while her quick tongue pushed into her body and just, oh.
She tried to voice it, voice her pleasure, but couldn't quite get anything out except her breath. She couldn't really do anything except push her hips further into Remy's face. More, more, more, but she couldn't get her words out. Remy was inside her and around her, hands holding her, hair surrounding her, a soft layer of brown over her skin.
"Rem-y," she breathed when the younger woman's right hand moved up her body, smoothing over her skin, fingers making their way up and over her centre, a single finger replacing the uneven bump of her nose on Lisa's clit. She pushed down and Lisa's hips bucked, Remy's left hand the only thing keeping her from hurting the young woman. Her tongue was swirling around inside her body, and she couldn't remember feeling anything like that before, the pad of her index finger pressing down, hard, soft, hard, a touch of nail.
Lisa could hear whimpering.
She was screaming before she realised the whimpering was coming from her, Remy pinching her clit and pushing hard into her body and oh, oh, oh.
When she came to her senses her, Remy was still between her legs, shushing and lapping gently at her clit, little waves of pleasure still buzzing through her body. She still couldn't speak, or control her breathing, but could tug at Remy to get her to stop, to move back up her body.
"Okay?" she asked, Lisa nodded, that's all she could do. Nod and wrap her arms around Remy and hold her close.
She woke with Remy Hadley wrapped around her body, still looking sad even in her sleep. Her heart was breaking to look at her, because she still wasn't sure what made the young woman look so haunted, but she knew she was going to find out eventually. Things were working between them, and she wasn't completely in lust anymore, or at least, not just in lust, but completely in love too. With another woman.
The whole thing still felt entirely insane, and she hadn't thought about the repercussions of anything this. She hadn't considered the Board's reactions, or House's reaction, or her mothers. She had just let herself be swept along with Remy's quiet confidence, and her hips. The sway of her body and her smile. She wasn't even really thinking about it now. It was just an abstract thought for the future, that she had to tell her mother, face the more stoic members of the board, brace herself for House's barbs. Or his increased leering and sexual innuendo.
She shifted so she could run a hand through the young woman's hair.
She could take anything House had to say to keep this.