Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series nor the heroin comment. That right belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
I bit on the bottom half of my lip, casually staring from side to side, making sure no one was watching me. Of course no one was watching; I was alone. It was a sunny day, chasing away the vampires to a hunt or to confine themselves in their homes.
The sun warmed my face as I turned up towards the endless blue sky, breathing in the crisp, earth scented air. I had grown accustomed to the atmosphere with ease. I didn't yearn for the smell of creosote or the dryness of Arizona. I had Forks. I had Edward.
And I would have him for eternity in a few short weeks. I glanced at my left hand where a ring adorned my finger, glinting and winking in the light. The thought of being married sent a frenzy of palpitations to my heart. It wasn't as if the idea of marrying Edward disgusted me, but it was the idea of matrimony in itself. The whole idea of fallible.
But then again, I was being biased since I was a child of divorce. We weren't my parents. I wasn't my mom. Unlike her, I was selfish in a different way. Edward was my indulgence. He was my sin. He was my brand of heroin.
That was a whole different story. Today was my day. My time. It was moments like these where I could dwell in my own sanity. No crazy wedding preparations. No frowning faces from a sulking father. No persuasive maneuvers or dazzling eyes. This was all me.
I loved the broad expanse of the Cullen's property. It proved to be useful on days like these. Carlisle, Edward, Jasper, and Emmett had gone hunting while Esme, Alice, and Rosalie stayed behind to babysit me. They left me alone to my solitude as long as I didn't stray too far past the Sol Duc River.
So here I was, stretched out along the river, lazily skimming the water, watching as it rippled beneath my fingertips. The sun felt good as it heated my clothes, caressing my cheeks. It nearly blinded me as it reflected off the river's surface. It sparkled. That too, amused me.
I wasn't really like other girls, and I'm still not. Pink wasn't my favorite color. Clothes and shopping didn't interest me. I could care less about my hair. Makeup was the furthest thing from my mind. All of it was true, that was, until I met Edward.
I admittedly became a little superficial. As much pain as it was, I allowed Alice to take me on shopping trips, and let her do slight makeovers. I wore just a smidge of concealer, and a touch of eyeliner on special days. Some days my hair bothered me to no extent because it wasn't perfect.
One thing, one tiny thing, had caught my attention the most. During one of my shopping trips with Alice, while searching through endless amounts of cosmetic products, a particular item intrigued me. I casually threw it in as we paid for stuff and stowed it away in my purse when we left the store.
It was my little secret, that was until Alice had found out, but I made her swear on shopping that she couldn't tell anyone. Swearing on my life proved to be redundant. But it was my personal enjoyment. It made me smile and laugh. I felt like a little girl, the adolescent girl I never was.
I rolled up my jeans and unbuttoned my shirt until I was left in just a spaghetti strap. Despite the barely sixty degree weather, the protest of my skin as goose bumps broke out, I continued with my sunny day ritual. Pulling the bottle out of my backpack, I popped open the lid and squirted the substance on my hands. I lathered it, applying it to my bare arms and legs.
Once that was done I stared at my skin, enthralled by the sun's effect. A bubble of laughter erupted from my lips as I imagined how I would no longer need to turn to this secret of mine. Within due time it would all become a reality. My body glowed, shimmering in the sunlight, but it was no comparison to that of a vampire.
Until my skin really sparkled like millions of tiny diamonds, my glitter lotion would suffice for now.