A.N. Okay, this story will only make sense if you are familiar with the SNL skits Celebrity Jeopardy. That being said, here goes.
Alex Trebek: Hello all and welcome back to another episode of Celebrity Jeopardy. Despite the fact that we have our most intelligent group of people here ever, everyone is still failing miserably. In first place, we have John Sheppard with two hundred dollars. In second, we have Ronon Dex with zero dollars. After all, you can't gain or loose anything if you don't talk. And in third, we have Rodney McKay with negative thirty-five dollars. I don't know how he managed to get that amount of money.
Rodney: Did you know I'm a genius? I am for sure the smartest person in Atlantis.
Alex: Very special, Mr. Mckay. Our categories are Potent Potables, Words That End in 'Targate', Wraith -- please note that the answer to any question from this category is 'Wraith' --, Doctors Who Say 'Aye', Ronon's Weapons, and finally People From Atlantis. In this category I will show you a picture of someone from Atlantis and then all you have to do is name that person. Mr. Sheppard, I believe you have first pick.
John: Cool. I'll take Words that End in 'Targate' for 1000.
Alex: Very Well. This word ends in 'targate.' (McKay rings in) Yes, Mr. McKay.
McKay: What is McTargate?
Alex: Are you retarded? (John rings in) Yes, Mr. Sheppard.
John: Did you know that one time Rodney destroyed a Solar System?
Alex: No, I did not. Nor did I care. Mr. Dex, do you know the answer?
Alex: I didn't think so. Anyways, the correct answer was Stargate. Which you might have known if you weren't all idiots. Mr. Sheppard, I believe the board is still yours.
John: No it's not.
Alex: Yes, it is.
John: No, I don't want it anymore. Give it to Rodney.
Alex: Very well. Mr. McKay, the board is yours.
Rodney: I'll take Ancient Technology for a billion.
Alex: I hate my life. Mr. McKay, that is not a category.
Rodney: Sure it is.
Alex: I want to kill you.
Ronon: I could help you with that.
Alex: That's very frightening Mr. Dex. Since apparently all of you are to stupid to pick a category, I will pick one for you. How, about 'Wraith' for 400. Okay, you really don't like these people.
Alex: Please, someone say Wraith.
Alex: All you have to do is shout out the word 'Wraith'. You don't even have to buzz in. Just say the word Wraith (John buzzes in) Yes, Mr. Sheppard.
John: Do you like my hair? I'm trying out this new hair gel, and I'm not sure it's working.
Alex: I wish I could shoot myself.
Ronon: I can help with that.
Alex: Comforting. (Sheppard rings in) Yes, Mr. Sheppard?
Alex: You rang in.
John: No I didn't.
Alex: Yes you did. I heard you.
John: That's your opinion.
Alex: I wish I could drink during this show.
Rodey: (eating a burrito)
Alex: Mr. McKay, where did you get a burrito
Rodney: It was here the whole time.
Alex: I honestly doubt that. Okay, let's move on to Final Jeopardy before I kill everyone. Tonight's question is...No. (rips up quesiton card) You know what, to win all you have to do is draw a picture. Any picture will do. Just draw a picture.
Alex: Okay, let's see how you idiots managed to mess this up. Mr. Sheppard, let's see what you drew. Is that a bottle of hair gel?
John: Sure is.
Alex: Fair enough. That technically fits the requirements. And you wagered...an Ancient Warship.
Alex: I hate my life. Mr. Dex, let's see what you did.
Ronon: Don't bother, I didn't draw anything.
Alex: Of course. Why would you? Mr. McKay. What did you draw?
Rodney: I drew a pony.
Alex: Great. And you wagered?
Rodney: John Sheppard.
Alex: You can't wager a human being, Mr. McKay.
Rodney: Why not?
Alex: Because that's not the way the game is played!
Rodney: This is a game? I thought it was some sort of new training program that Weir was making us do.
Alex: That sums up our game of Celebrity Jeopardy. I'm going back to my apartment to put a gun in my mouth. Maybe this time I'll pull the trigger.
John: Can I come?
A.N. Gosh, I would do anything for another round of Celebrity Jeopardy on SNL. That was one of my favorite things on SNL... As always, reviews are always welcome. :) If enough people like it, I'll probably do another one.