Why can't he see that I left for his own good? Why won't he understand that I'm not good enough for him? Why does he always insist, through his pigheadedness, that all I have for him is love? Why, god tell me, why did he have to leave me? I had to make him understand, to see this as I do. I had already tried a dozen times, but he will never see. He is blind to his own perfection, hallucinatory when he says I am an angel. I will never understand him, but I will always love him.
I ran after him, running out of the door of our old apartment building. Sprinting after him, even though I could see that he was long gone in his car. I ran after him anyways. I could not see reason, I was beyond all rational thought. I knew he would be back, this had been happening so often lately that I knew how all of our fights would end. But this time felt so different. I didn't feel as though he was coming back, he would never come back. I wished with all of my heart that he would, but I didn't believe in one prayer I had said. Every other time he left, he brought nothing with him, only his car keys. This time, some pictures, a suitcase to last maybe a week... and my wedding ring. He's not coming back.
He's not coming back. He's not coming back. He's not coming back.
I began to sob as the realization struck me head on. It was so forceful, it took my breath away. He's not coming back, he never would be coming back, and I would never see him again. Edward, my love, please come back to me.
2 Months Later
I thought of him every day, as I lay in my new apartment. New apartment, new town, new life. I knew I could never escape my past that I had with the love of my life, but still, I had to try. I had to try to block the pain that threatened to course through me every moment. Because if I didn't, if I let it seep through my careful walls I had put up around it, I would break down. And nothing could fix me.
I sighed and swung my legs over the edge of my bed, praying that today might be a little better than the last. I hoped that he wouldn't impose on my thoughts, and his bright emerald eyes being the only image my eyes could see when I closed my eye lids. I hoped for this every day, but I was never given mercy. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and dragged my heavy legs to the bathroom. Still half asleep, I stripped down and jumped in the shower, the hot water nearly scalding my body. But it woke me up from my Edward-filled dreams. As soon as I was fully awake, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a fuzzy towel around myself. Dragging myself out of the warm, steamy room was a difficult feat, but I managed. Now, what should I wear? Not that I had anyone to impress, but my boss wouldn't be too happy if I went to work in anything less than model-worthy.
Since he had left, I had become quite accomplished in my work and I couldn't be happier with it. I had fulfilled my mother's dream and became a model. Of course, I had a college degree as an english professor, just in case the modeling career didn't work out. I got a new apartment, it was HUGE! I had both of my best friends, Alice and Rose, with me. Life couldn't be better for Isabella Swan, as far as he knew.