I saw Someone Kissing Santa Claus



"What do you mean that's not allowed?" Jonas asked, balancing precariously on a tall stepladder, a long garland of bright red tinsel dangling from his hands.

"Well, Jonas. Think about it," Sam said. "If you wrap that around the gate, when it opens, part of it will be disintegrated and the rest will fall off," she reasoned.

"And that has to be some sort of OSHA violation," Jack said, joining Sam at the base of the ramp.

Jonas frowned, almost pouting. "Ok. I guess that would be a problem," he said, clambering down the stepladder. He grabbed a hold of the railing. "This wouldn't be in the way, would it?" he asked, an almost puppy like look on his face.

Sam sighed, shooting Jack a look. As annoying at it could be, Jonas' enthusiasm was catching. "The general is gone until after Christmas," she reminded unnecessarily.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Yeah, thanks for reminding me," he muttered. "Ok, Jonas. Tinsel away…just DO NOT do anything dangerous, nothing to impede people moving or machinery from functioning. Anything, and I mean ANYTHING gets in my way, and it all comes down," he said.

"I shall aid Jonas Quinn in preventing that from happening," Teal'c volunteered.

"Thanks, Teal'c," Jack said.

Jonas reached into the box and pulled out a long strand of brilliant blue tinsel. "I think this will look great around the control room windows."

Jack opened his mouth to protest, then shut it when Sam laid a gentle hand on his arm. "Weren't you saying you had some paperwork to do, sir," she prodded.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Keep him honest, Teal'c," Jack tossed over his shoulder as he and Sam turned, leaving the gateroom and making their way through the control room and up to Hammond's office.

"You know, sir. Jonas is just trying to fit in," Sam said, following Jack through the briefing room.

"Yeah, I know," Jack sighed, entering Hammond's office and sitting down in the man's leather chair. Things were quiet at the SGC with many people taking well-deserved time off. Christmas was just a few days away and Jack knew that the goa'uld could rear their ugly heads at any time. Which is why Hammond was only taking a long weekend, instead of a true vacation. If their war was solely Earth-based, they knew they could count on a lessening of hostilities. However, since Christmas was not a universal galactic-wide holiday, they didn't dare let down their guard. "It's just…he smiles too much," Jack said, shuddering. "He reminds me of a toothpaste commercial."

Sam laughed, closing the door behind her. "That's just how he is. You hide how you really feel behind a gruff exterior, Jonas hides behind a grin." She walked across the room, closing the other door to the general's office, affording them some privacy. It was one way that they were taking advantage of the general's absence. They could be alone and talk in privacy, yet not be compromised in any way since the large glass star chart window proved to be an excellent chaperone.

"I'm not gruff," he protested.

"Yes, you are," she insisted.

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm…"

"Jack, you're as prickly as a cactus," she said, sitting down in one of the chairs.

"But you love me anyway," he quipped, making her grin. "You have any plans for Christmas?" he asked, leaning back in the comfortable red chair.

She shook her head. "I doubt dad will make it and I've already got Santa delivering Mark's family's gifts." She shrugged. "It's going to be a nice quiet Christmas. How about you?"

He sat up; bending over and opening Hammond's bottom desk drawer. "Damnit," he cursed softly.


"He forgot to buy more." Jack held up a small flask of Southern Comfort…empty but for a bare inch in the bottom.

"That or he knew better than to leave you with the keys to his office AND a full bottle," Sam teased.

Jack mock glared as he reached for a tumbler off the corner of the desk. "Be nice," he chided, pouring some of the liquor into the glass and handing it to her, keeping the bottle for himself. "I get to spend Christmas on duty," he said, rolling his eyes. "Could be worse, I guess. Could be off-world." He took a drink of the liquor, savoring the warm sweetness on the back of his tongue before swallowing.

"At least you get turkey dinner without all the cooking," Sam said. "I could come in, we could eat lunch together," she offered. "Or, I guess with Jonas and Teal'c," she finished, knowing that they couldn't just exclude their teammates.

Jack snorted. "I swear, at times I think I'm married again and Charlie is a toddler," he said.

"Excuse me?" Sam raised her eyebrows.

He shook his head. "It's silly. Forget I said anything."

"No. What did you mean?"

Jack sighed. "After you have kids, there's that magical time when they're old enough to basically take care of themselves, for an hour or so at least. Sara and I would try to take advantage of that to get a little…quality time. The problem is…kids have rotten timing. They have this radar or something. You get within ten feet of each other and they pop out of the woodwork." Sam laughed. "What?" Jack asked. "It wasn't that funny."

She shook her head. "No. I remember…well…you know the song, 'I caught mommy kissing Santa Claus'?" Jack nodded. "Well it would have been better if all they'd been doing was kissing." She blushed. "The talk about the birds and the bees came early that year to the Carter household. I think that's why I'm not really into Christmas. I can't look at a man wearing a Santa hat without remembering…that."

"Really?" Jack asked, getting out of his chair and walking around the desk. He leaned against the heavy oak surface. "Scarred you for life, huh?"

"Apparently. My mom was picking tinsel out of her hair for hours."

"You know…they say the best way to overcome something traumatic like that is to re-write the memory," he said, leaning towards her.

"Really? They say that?" she asked, setting her glass down on the desk.

Jack nodded. "Yep."

"It's too bad there's not a Santa hat around here," she said, her voice softening. "We could test their theory."

"Too bad," Jack said, leaning back, his hands going out to brace himself. He frowned as his fingers encountered something soft. Grabbing it he pulled it forward, staring in amazement at the fuzzy burgundy and white Santa hat. "What the hell?"

"Where did that come from?" Sam asked, getting to her feet. She knew without a doubt that it hadn't been there a few seconds ago.

Jack shook his head. "I have no idea." He pulled the hat on his head, taking care to arrange the pom-pom over his right ear. "But I'm also not in the mood to ask questions." He reached out, pulling her close. Her hands were pressed against his chest and she pushed slightly, then leaned forward herself, her arms snaking around his neck as his lips touched hers. The office and their surroundings faded away as they became lost in each other.


"Where'd that tinsel come from?" Jonas asked, walking across the briefing room. "Colonel O'Neill's not going to like having that window covered," he said, moving towards what was normally the large star chart window that overlooked the briefing room.

Teal'c passed him and moved the tinsel aside. He looked for a second, then turned, grabbing Jonas' hand that was reaching for the tinsel curtain blocking the window. "I do not believe that Colonel O'Neill will mind," Teal'c said, ushering the man away.


"Indeed. In fact, I believe that the gold piece of tinsel you are holding will look quite festive adorning Major Carter's laboratory," Teal'c said, taking the man's hand and leading him from the room.

"Oh. You're right," Jonas said. "With all those blinky lights of hers, it'll look like a tree." The two aliens left, not feeling the gentle breeze that ruffled the tinsel curtain, or hearing the ghostly chuckle floating in the air.