Where Do We Go From Here?
Author's Note: This isn't going to be a high action, butt-kicking piece. I'm just venturing to portray what it could be like if Buffy and Spike had that second chance to develop a relationship, how others might react to it, and how they'd make it work. So take it for what it is: it's going to be a romance, kind of angsty in places and emotional, sometimes it might be a bit more light-hearted. This is my first multi-chapter fan fiction I'm posting on here. If this is bull I apologize. Please review, whether it be constructive criticism, something you dislike, or just something nice and encouraging. I appreciate all reviews and I take your criticism seriously.
Additional Author's Note: I rated this story M just to be safe for later chapters but usually the content will be T.
Chapter 1: Homecoming
There it was. The home of Buffy Summers. It felt the same for Spike to stand there in front of her home on Revello Drive, yet it was very different at the same time. For the first time in over five months he'd come to see Buffy. It was the first time he'd be seeing her since he'd…died.
He had just come from Los Angeles where he'd stayed with Team Angel. He'd debated for so long whether or not to come. To see her. To tell her he was alive again. More times than he could count he'd picked up the phone and dialed her number only to hang up immediately after the first ring. God, he could be a bloody coward sometimes.
Then there was the call he'd made only a week ago. Bracing the phone in his hand, perhaps more tightly than necessary, he waited. Once. Twice. Three times it rang. Then:
His hand quivered in a very uncharacteristic way when he heard the sound of her voice. Buffy's voice. The voice that sent a rush of old feelings back. He was at a loss for words.
No, he thought to himself, don't be an idiot…you can't tell her now…not like this…she deserves to be told in person. This was not the way to handle it.
He nearly dropped the phone, remembering he was still on it. He hung up abruptly.
It was then that he had finally made the decision to go back to Sunnydale. Angel had made little comment on Spike's departure. Spike suspected that as much as Angel loved Buffy he'd long ago resigned himself to the fact that it was best for him to stay out of her life.
But now, Spike stood on the front walkway, taking a long drag from his cigarette, wondering what the hell he was doing.
She could bloody well be seeing someone, he thought.
Her life had went on without him. Just like he knew it would. He shouldn't be here…he shouldn't spoil what they had left things at. He considered leaving before he ruined it all. And yet…he was driven by and even greater need…there was a sense that maybe it would all turn out okay.
A cool, late November breeze blew tugging at Spike's leather coat. He flicked his cigarette butt on the ground and stubbed it out with the toe of his boot. Then, finally, he walked up onto the front porch.
Lights were on, even though it was past midnight. Someone was awake at least. He raised his fist and then dropped it to his side again. He moved to walk off the porch and simply forget about the whole thing.
"Oh, damn it all!" he huffed, turning around and knocking firmly on the door before he could change his mind again.
Footsteps…the door opened.
Dawn. She stood there in her pajamas looking older, if that was even possible after only five months. Her blue eyes widened in utter shock. She clung to the door frame for support.
"Hello, little bit," he said, softly. He looked at her warmly; he was very attached to the Slayer's younger sister.
Dawn's eyes welled up. "Are you…real? This isn't a spell is it? It's really you?" she asked in a whisper, not wanting her hopes to be dashed.
"In the flesh."
"Oh my God," Dawn sobbed, flinging her arms around his neck. She cried into his jacket as he stroked her hair. "You were dead…Buffy saw you die."
Buffy. God, the mere mention of her name resounded deeply with him.
"I did…" he replied.
"But how-how did this happen?" Dawn lifted her head to look at him with tear-stained eyes, searching his face for answers.
"Maybe I should wait and tell your big sis as well," Spike replied, unsure of himself.
"Oh, right…okay," Dawn's eyes lit up a bit at the mention of her sister. Was it excitement for him to see her? Hope? He couldn't tell. Either way, Dawn invited him in and shut the door. Spike stood in the entryway and looked around. He met the curious stares of three teenage girls in sleeping bags on the living room floor.
"What's this? Another Big Bad coming?" he asked.
Dawn looked over at the girls. "Oh, no. They're new slayers. Buffy's been training a few at a time, teaching them. Giles is always looking for others. New slayers were awakened when you…died…"Dawn looked awkward. She gestured to the girls.
"This is Chelsea," a blonde. "Amber," a petite brunette. "And Sarah" a tall, leggy girl.
Various hellos came, till Chelsea spoke up. "He died?"
"Oh…yeah…it's kind of a long story," Dawn replied. "I'm sure Buffy could…" Dawn trailed off, hearing footsteps coming from upstairs.
"Dawn, who are you talking to? Who's at the door…"
She stood at the top of the stairs. Just as beautiful as he remembered, her blonde hair was a little longer, falling past her shoulders in soft waves. Her strong presence radiated through the room for him. If his heart could beat it would have been pounding in that moment. It was her. There she was. Buffy.
There he was. Spike.
Buffy's lean frame felt very rigid suddenly. Disbelief was etched across her features. A tidal wave of emotions and questions overcame her. Is this real? Is this a spell? How is this possible?
"Dawn…did you…or Willow or someone have something to do with this?" Buffy asked in a guarded manner, though it came out very quietly.
"No," Dawn shook her head. "Buffy, none of us did anything. It's really him, he's here," she looked up expectantly. Buffy could feel Dawn's eyes on her but all Buffy could see was Spike.
"Hello, Buffy," he said, staring up at her.
Buffy's eyes felt rather glassy as she placed a hand on the banister and gripped it tight. Slowly she descended the stairs, still staring at him in shock. She was no longer aware of Dawn's and the other girls' presence, as they all watched what was unfolding.
Spike was silent as she stepped down onto the landing, before him. She could tell by the look in his eyes he was just as apprehensive and nervous as she was. What was she supposed to say? What does one do in a situation like this? Granted, Angel had been resurrected before but this…this was different.
Buffy studied his face. He was real. This was real. She unconsciously reached out and gently touched his cheek, as if making sure. She blinked and retracted it quickly, placing it back at her side.
"Do you, um…want to go outside and talk?" she asked quietly.
Buffy was about to open the front door, when she became aware of four pairs of eyes gawking at them. She decided that maybe the front porch, which could easily be viewed by two large windows, wouldn't be the best place.
"It's late, maybe you girls should get to bed," Buffy said.
"But Buffy…" Dawn protested, glancing at Spike.
"Dawn, don't argue. Bed, now!" Buffy snapped. She couldn't deal with this.
Dawn looked to Spike expectantly. "Listen to your big sis, niblet," he said.
She hugged him again before running up the stairs.
Buffy looked to the other girls who hadn't moved. "Get to sleep. Training tomorrow," she said trying to keep her voice in check, though she was about ready to burst and the seams what with all that was happening.
The girls nodded without argument and started moving around getting their sleeping bags ready. Buffy led Spike out to the kitchen and out the back door onto the small porch outside. She folded her arms across her chest, against the chill in the air. She kept her back to him, unable to look at him yet, and looked out at the darkened backyard. She could feel his presence behind her, watching her, waiting.
"How did this happen?" she asked, voice barely above a whisper.
"The amulet…it resurrected me," Spike replied.
Buffy considered that a moment and frowned. "So…how long have you been…alive?"
Buffy turned and faced him. "Five months…"she muttered, running a hand through her hair. "Where have you been then?"
Spike looked as though he was seriously considering whether or not to respond. "L.A."
Buffy could tell by his tone just who he had stayed with.
"And now you're here," she said, hoping he'd elaborate.
"Well, yeah," Spike leaned against the closed door. "Look, Buffy, I wasn't sure if I should even come."
"I didn't know if you'd even want me here."
Buffy turned away from him, unable to meet his eyes. She tried to take it all in but she just felt so numb. She just didn't know what to feel. How to react. She simply couldn't deal with the enormity of it all.
Why is he here?, that question nagged her. Did he have certain expectations now that he was here that she was expected to fulfill?
"Look…the bedrooms are all taken, Faith is here, but the cot in the basement is still there if you want to stay and sleep there," Buffy said, finally turning around after a long silence.
"Thank you," he said, walking inside, not arguing with her or trying to get her to talk.
As she followed him in she found it rather infuriating how he was acting so calm and nonchalant about the whole thing, as if somehow things like this happened all the time. How could he act like this?
"Hey, shouldn't you be dead?"
Buffy shut the door behind them. Faith sat cross-legged on the counter eating ice cream out of the carton, waving a spoon in Spike's direction.
"You'd think," Spike said wryly, giving her a small smile. "The amulet resurrected me."
Faith nodded, masking her shock annoyingly well. Typical Faith, taking everything in stride: never looking back, never asking questions. "Glad you're back then…," Faith's face softened a bit. "…you did a lot," she added in her simple way.
Spike knew just what she meant. He clenched his jaw and gave a slight nod, not wanting any attention. "I'm just gonna head down then," he glanced at Buffy. She looked away, listening as he descended to the basement.
She felt like collapsing under the weight of it all.
Well this is the first chapter. I don't know if it's very good or not. I won't post another chapter till I get a couple of reviews…so if you want to read more than you should give me a review. As long as there are people willing to read it, I'll keep writing it. Thanks!!