Jediz and Jinxes: The Clone Wolves
Disclaimer: Being as this is a fanfic based off of a fanfilm mini-series, I completely acknowledge I do not hold intellectual property rights for Star Wars or Harry Potter. I am also not making any monetary profit from this story.
AN: This fic is based off of the "Jediz and Jinxes" mini-series by the Hawks Brothers. You can see the episodes at www(dot)jedizandjinxes(dot)net.
Obi-wan Kenobi woke up at the sound of a loud crash coming from his living room. He sat up and used the Force to summon his lightsaber. Another crash sounded beyond his bedroom door and the Jedi leapt to his feet. His room was dark, but some light filtered through the blinds from the streetlights outside. He cautiously pushed open the bedroom door. His lightsaber was raised and ready to attack.
As soon as Obi-wan looked into the lit living room he lowered his weapon. "What the blazes do you think you're doing?" He looked at his roommate who was standing amidst the destruction of not only the living room, but also the dining room table.
Harry Potter picked himself up off of the wreckage that was formerly their dining room table still gripping his Holly wand. "Oww…" Harry groaned as he tried to untangle his robe from the pile of wood.
"You can't do magic out of school," Jedi Master Kenobi admonished. "You'll be expelled." He tried to clip his lightsaber to his belt, but after two failed attempts he realized that he was still in his pajamas.
"I wasn't doing magic," Harry rebuked. "I was playing on the Xbox and suddenly there was a CG character," he waved his hands fruitlessly in the direction of the broken green couch, "There."
"A CG character," Obi-wan pondered while absently stroking his beard in thought. "Well, if you must have your friends over, Potter, try not to make as much noise, or cause as much destruction." Obi-wan moved to return to his room. "Oh, and if it's Jar Jar, I'm not here."
"They're not my friends," Harry shouted at his roommate. The Jedi ignored him and shut the door on the seething wizard. Harry sighed and began the hopeless task of trying to fix up the living room.
Two days later Obi-wan sat on the carpeted floor scrolling through a datapad. When he wasn't on missions for the Jedi Order, he was in charge of marketing. Usually he did this work at the table, but seeing as the table was now demolished… Well, the couch would be the next option, but it was still cracked in two and shredded. So, now he was sitting on the floor, annoyed, but not incapacitated.
The doorbell rang. The Jedi made one last notation on the datapad and then set it aside. He stood up gracefully and checked that his Jedi robes and beard were straightened. Then he unhurriedly walked past the kitchen to the door. The doorbell rang again and Obi-wan opened it a breath of a moment later.
The man wasn't anyone the Jedi recognized. "Hello," Obi-wan said and quirked an eyebrow at the stranger. He had brown hair that was graying and intelligent eyes, but his robes were worn down and shabby. The man looked like he was battling a great disease and that battle wasn't going in his favor.
"Good afternoon," the man answered sounding a bit nervous by the slight waver in his voice. "Is Harry Potter here?"
"You're not a friend of Voldemort's, are you?" Obi-wan asked. Although Voldemort had been a kind guest, he refused to remove his shoes before walking on the carpet, had tried to kill his roommate, and worse of all, the Dark Lord had eaten all of the crumpets. Later Obi-wan and Potter had mutually agreed not to let that sort to enter their apartment again, although exceptions could be made when they hosted Halo tournaments.
The man blinked in surprise. "No, I'm Remus Lupin," he said. "I use to be a Professor of Harry's. He asked me to come when I could. Something about fixing some furniture."
"Oh," the Jedi said. "Alright, come on in. Be sure to take off your shoes." Obi-wan walked ahead and checked the bedrooms for Harry in case he had returned without the Jedi noticing.
Remus removed his worn shoes before stepping onto the carpet. He took a few steps and stopped in shock at the destruction. The TV had been smashed in, the Xbox and controllers were in a huge tangle, the loveseat and couch's supports were broken and the fabric was torn, and the table and chairs in the dining room made a nice, large pile of kindling.
"Potter is not here right now." Obi-wan said returning. "He should be back soon. I'd offer you a seat, but as you can see we don't have any right now. Can I get you something to drink?"
"Yes, that would be fine." Remus said absently. He was already thinking of the best way to repair the catastrophe.
The Jedi Master summoned a clean plastic cup from the counter and opened the fridge. "What would you like?"
"Anything will be fine," the ex-Professor answered pulling out a battered wand. "If it's alright with you, I'd like to get started right away."
"Yes, that would be great." Obi-wan poured some blue milk for Remus and then a cup for himself. The wizard was waving his wand all over and by the time the Jedi walked from the kitchen to the dining room, the distance of about two meters, everything had been put back to rights by the silent and liberal casting of Reparo. Obi-wan set the drinks on the table.
"Blast," he exclaimed. They sat down. The table looked like nothing had happened to it at all. "That was amazing. If only Potter could be half as useful. He must have been downright depressing to have in class."
"No," Remus said. He looked thoughtful as he sipped at his blue milk. "I taught Defense Against the Dark Arts and he was quite a pleasure." The quiet man looked up at his host, but quickly looked away while attempting to quell the smile forming on his face. The Jedi Master had a blue milk mustache fighting for dominance with his real mustache.
Harry struggled to open the door to his and Obi-wan's apartment. He strode through scowling and looking at the floor. He paused long enough to remove his shoes before Obi-wan could call him on it.
Remus stood up and smiled. "Hi Harry."
Harry's head snapped up. "Moony," he shouted and ran over excitedly. "Hey, you've fixed the furniture. Thank you very much. I'd do it myself, but with the Restriction of Underage Wizardry and all…"
"I understand Harry. It wasn't a problem at all."
At this point Obi-wan was getting rather bored with the reunion and decided to relocate to the couch to play on the Xbox. The first three consecutive games he lost spectacularly. He blamed it on being distracted. The Force was telling him something wasn't right about that Lupin guy.
Obi-wan started up a new game and pounded on the controller.
"He appeared right over here," Harry explained to Remus. "At first I thought he was a house elf-" He stepped in front of the TV.
"Potter, get out of the way."
"Obi-wan, I have a guest. He wanted to know how our living room was destroyed."
Obi-wan gave Potter a Force Push to the side. "Hey!" the wizard yelled. "What the bloody 'ell was that for?"
The game ended and the Jedi tossed the controller to the side defeated. "I lost." Obi-wan snapped, "It's your fault, Potter."
Harry took a deep breath to calm down. He turned and walked Remus to the door. "I'm sorry Moony. He's being a prat right now. Why don't we go to Hogsmeade?"
"Are you calling me a hog again?" Obi-wan shouted from the couch.
"No, we're going to HogsMEADE, it's a town," Harry griped back. He and Professor Lupin put on their shoes. Remus stepped outside first and Harry followed slamming the door behind him. He barely managed to keep his cloak from getting caught in the door on his way out.
"And I thought Anakin was going to be the death of me," Obi-wan muttered.
Posted: July 26, 2008