Bella was feeling alone. She knew it sounded ridiculous considering she was lying in someone's embrace, was being held carefully by cold marble arms. Still it wasn't what she wanted, what she needed.
She wanted so much to just reach out to the tall blond vampire who she knew was just a few feet down the hall and yet still so unreachable for her due to her own stupidity.
She should have protested against being 'claimed' like she was some kind of property when she knew it wasn't what she wanted. She really missed the way the other vampire made her feel, how he could make her go from the highest high to the lowest low in a matter of seconds.
And suddenly the arms around her felt too tight, felt like they were crushing her and she instantly struggled to sit upright, trying to lose that feeling of being small and fragile, of just being lost in a world where she was the only one having to deal with these fears, where she, indeed, was alone.
She used to escape into sleep as soon as she could to avoid that void spreading through her like a disease, that so easily could have been filled by someone who wasn't meant for her, yet allured her more than anyone else ever could. Still she knew he would never forgive her for letting herself be claimed by someone else, no matter how sweet the memory of those few stolen moments between them was. But sleep didn't want to come anymore, instead there was more heartache, more memories, more sorrow.
There just wasn't a way for them to be together and Bella knew but the resulting regret almost ate her up from inside. She was desperate for someone to lay his hands on her soul tonight, to fill the void and ease the ache, to give her a reason to keep believing, to make her whole again. That someone was so near and yet so far away. That someone was not the vampire asking her if she was alright, whose hand was lightly running down her bare arm. That someone was Jasper.