"Watching one die"
This is for a challenge set by: Asian Angel07
About: Jacob had given up on being a werewolf after facing his imprint's death, being unable to live without her he is forced to cope with mortality alone. It is now his turn to face death. How will Bella feel watching her favourite werewolf die?
Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, but Stephenie Meyer can't own everything!! The laptop is mine!
I had never really considered living for this long. Then again I didn't think anyone truly had. I'd come close to death plenty of times; yet never had I been so close to watching someone else die. It was painful-my whole being was over taken with sorrow, dread, fear and misery.
"Come on love we need to get home." I shook my head.
"I can't leave him. He needs me." Edward pursed his lips beside me.
He had known that sitting here watching this person die was the second to worst punishment that I could put upon myself; the worst would be sitting here and in this mans place be Edward.
As much as I had loved Jacob…I'd needed Edward. Yet Jacob had never stopped wanting me-not even when I had "given up my soul" to be a vampire. In his last hours of living it was my obligation to be here for him. After all he had given me; it was time to give some back. I had wanted to be here for him but I couldn't be with him as fully as he had once wished.
I never thought that it would have come to this day. I thought that Jacob was invincible. I never knew that he'd eventually give up being a werewolf. My thoughts were running wild with the past, memories we'd shared, the separate lives we were all taking, all that time he'd helped me.
All that fear of loosing him the first time after the battle in the clearing-knowing that he was alive in this world and was in pain-I was so relieved when he had returned.
I sat in the Cullen's back yard admiring all of the work that Alice had done on the wedding. Well that's what the others thought I was doing anyway. I needed time…time to be alone…time to think. It had been a month now since the battle at the clearing, and the last time I had seen Jacob. My heart had been wrenched painfully into two. I needed both Edward and Jacob to be fully happy again but I knew that it couldn't be. I couldn't be on the side of the vampires and the werewolves. No matter how hard I'd tried to bring them together.
"It's like a vision" A husky voice whispered behind me; full of emotion. I snapped my head to where the sound of the voice was coming from. I sighed in relief that he was safe and before I could stop myself I ran into his arms and held him tightly. Crying with relief I took in every feeling and scent. He held me forcefully to him and stroked my hair gently, trying to comfort me.
I started to bang my head against the wall, as if the memories would fall out with each hit. Edward moved closer to me and held me tightly. Even though we were indestructible he still didn't like the
thought of me harming myself. Sometimes I still feel as though he thinks I'm human, fragile, warm, and clumsy. It hurts to know that I can never be that again. Never die. I have to live for eternity facing death, sadness, hurt, anger.
"Bells!!" Jacob cheered. I smiled when I caught sight of him. I hadn't seen him in such a long time.
"How's it going?" I asked cheerfully. Just at that moment a beautiful woman about the age of thirty and two kids came running out of the house to great me. Of course the wife knew I was a vampire but the kids yet had no idea. Not until they received the fate that their father had.
"Bella." Lisa greeted me with a friendly hug. She was Jacob's imprint, the one that he was destined for. When I had first heard about her I was grateful that Jacob could finally be as happy and in love as I was. I always knew that he wasn't going to be alone forever.
"Wow, it's been too long. I didn't realise that time went so fast being what I am." The last time I had been here had been when the oldest was just about 4. Yet it had seemed just like it was yesterday that I was here, time really does pass fast when you have an eternity to live.
At that time Jacob still hadn't given up on being a werewolf. I remember once he had told me that as there were still vampires around la push he was going to stay and protect the villagers. I felt terrible for bringing this lonely death to him; had the Cullen's and I moved on Jacob would have also…along with his wife. It turns out that werewolves are just as hard to kill as vampires…well with the pack listening to every one of Jacob's thoughts of suicide he wasn't able to fulfil them. The death of his wife had been devastating to him, although he still had his children he was a broken man. Half of what he had been before. Everyone knew then that he'd never be the same again.
"Bella…Edward…" Jacob croaked. This felt like the time. I'd been watching as my parents had died; I knew now when they were going to leave. They'd feel it too; this is why I was getting this "I'm sorry" speech. People like to clear their guilt as they departed.
"I'm sorry." His throat was dry and coarse. It had been for a while now. "Thank you; for being here for me. I know I don't deserve it but you've both been good friends to me. You'd never understand how much I appreciate you both." He elongated the word both and stared at Edward, it was like at times he forgot Edward could read his thoughts and the sincerity of them.
"Jacob…" That's all I could say before dry sobs came crashing down on me and shook me body with so much force that Edward had struggled to hold me.
"Jacob. I apologise. For everything. Thank you-thank you for so much, I could never show the full extent of our gratitude. The amount of times you've helped Bella-both of us."
"We don't know where we'd be without you." I sobbed and hugged him softly. This was the first time that I was physically stronger than him, Jacob had always been tough. Yet now he was weak, frail-human, almost. He could never fully give up the werewolf that was part of him.
"It's so hard Bella. I can't control the wolf inside me anymore, it-it frightens me." Jacob admitted.
We were sitting once again on the la push beach. The place where we had spent most of our time many years ago now, it would always be a reminder for me of the time we had spent without
Edward. Heart wrenching, difficult, but oddly calming, safe and careless. I had felt like I had lost my heart, mind and soul during that time but had received carelessness and a best friend in return.
"You're doing brilliantly." I patted him on the back in a friendly manner "Remember if you do this, give up being a werewolf, you'll be able to die and see Lisa again-or what ever happens after death."
"I know." He muttered his mind trailing off to, no doubt, the time that they had spent together "It just wants to be released. I miss Lisa greatly and I can take the pain for her." He gave me a weak smile. "I'm giving up and soon, soon I'll be with her again."
"Thank you." His voice was rough, full of emotion and sincerity.
"I love you." I whispered back. It was true-I did still love him, yet no where near enough to be without Edward. Edward was everything to me; my love for eternity. Death wouldn't ever impede that.
"I know." He gave a weak smile and just as suddenly as a flame going out on a candle Jacob's breathing snapped. I checked his pulse to see if there was any sign of life, nothing. His time was up and in his place he had left a legacy just like that of his great grandfather- he had brought both peace and understanding between werewolves and vampires. He would be remembered for that-as well as his desire and perseverance to love deeply.
I couldn't have controlled this fate anymore than I could have controlled the weather. Jacob was gone, and he was never coming back. It really was just the Cullen's and I-for the rest of eternity.