I've never felt this sick in my life. I'm leaning over the toilet, throwing up anything that I've eaten in the past twenty four hours. My head is spinning, my mouth is sour. Today was supposed to be a day out with the girls' celebrating my last night as a 'free woman'. We were supposed to go shopping, spend a few hours at the beach. They even rented out the hottest club in Los Angeles (compliments of my dad) for a huge bachlorette party.
If I didn't feel so horriblle, I would probably be utterly pissed at my luck. Of all the days to get sick why this one?
I hear my apartment door open and close, I pay hardly any attention though, because before I know it I'm over the toilet again.
"Miley?" It's Sarah. She's probably here to pick me up for our day out with the others, I'd hate for her to see me like this - I can only imagine her reaction.
"Mil- Oh god," She drops her bag. "What's happened?"
I gulp, drying to find room in my mouth to make words but before I can speak I'm throwing up again. She kneels down next to me and holds my hair behind me, patting my back as I continue to empty my insides. When I'm done, I wipe my mouth and fall back against the wall.
"I'll be right back." Sarah walks out. I hear her clanking around in the kitchen and then the faucet run. My head is pounding. She comes back a few minutes later and hands me a glass of water. I chug it down and hand the glass back to her.
"I'm sorry Sarah," I say. "I got up to go to the bathroom around five and didn't even make it back to bed."
She nods, her eyebrows crunched together. "It's okay honey," She waves her hand dismissing it. "I totally understand. It just sucks that you're spending your last day as a single lady sick."
I smile weakly. "I haven't been single since ninth grade, remember?"
She laughs, "That's right but now you're - totally off limits. You have a promise to keep, a promise of forever. It's the rest of your life, Miles."
I know this, she's talked about it with me an uncountable number of times. If I didn't want to get married to Oliver then I wouldn't have said yes. We've been together for ten years, I love him more than life itself. I would give him anything, I have given him everything that someone could possibly give to another. But then, I question it now because of Lilly's visit the other week and the look in his eye when I told him.
I worry alot about it sometimes. I know I shouldn't, if Oliver wanted to be with her, he would've. But he chose me, so there's nothing to worry about..right? I wish I could convince myself of just that but I know I can't. Because he loves her, I know that he does. He doesn't know that I saw them, the day of our graduation.
I'm humming a Hannah Montana song as I walk down the empty hallway. I'm wearing a dress that my Mamaw picked out for me, I absolutely hate it. It's a pale pink that hems just around my knee in a pleat, with big bright green flowers and yellow bumblebees. I'm seventeen - not five I can't believe they even in make something as ugly and childish as this in my size.
I even had this cute dress that I had ''borrowed'' from the Dolce & Gabana shoot I did a couple of months ago. God, I loved it - I couldn't wait to wear and then, two weeks ago big ass, Ronald friggin' Mcdonald lookalike Mamaw shows up and practically forces me into this stupid dress. I couldn't say no and besides what could it hurt, really? I can wear that other dress to any other Hannah party or club or whatever any other time.
Along with this lame dress, she also gave me a little bit of money to put towards my college funds. I accepted it gladly all though I'll be receiving the money that Hannah Montana earned from the past five years (millions!) in a few months that I promised my Dad I would put to good use and I will. I have alot to look forward to in college.
College. Oliver and I got into Vermont. I was so happy when we both opened our acceptance letters - I'm spending the rest of my life with him. I love him more than anything. I just - I'm not sure he feels the same way..
I know, I'm so silly but it doesn't feel right. I don't know. He looks at me with all the love and passion he has been since we were fourteen but something's different. He doesn't meet my gaze and hold it in Math class like he always used to. We'd spend the whole fifty minutes staring at each other, smiling, blushing. He doesn't put things in my locker anymore - like random notes saying I love you and chocolates and all that romantic stuff he always used to do.
I sigh and shake the thought from my head.
"I don't care, I'm going Lilly!"
"I can't believe you!"
I stop. My breath catches up in my throat.
"Why can't you? She's been my girlfriend for how long now? Three years!"
"But what about me, Ollie? All the stuff that you said, all the things that we did. It didn't mean anything to you, I don't mean anything to you?"
I push myself against the wall of lockers and lean forward on my tiptoes so I can see the tiniest bit of the screaming match going on in the empty hallway.
Oliver sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose like he always does when he's frustruated. Lilly is redfaced, her arms crossed defensively over her chest.
"Lilly..don't make me do this," Oliver says his eyes squeezed tightly shut.
"I'm not making you do anything Oliver. You know why you'll pick her, always pick her. It's because she is the stable, gorgeous rich girl and I'm the crazy, horny, wrong-side-of-the-tracks girl with a fucked up family. What would it look like if precious Oliver, the highclass, italian boy married Lillian Truscott? Fuckin' horrible."
I can see the pain in Lilly's face, hear it etched in her voice. I can't help but feel guilty - I love Lilly. She's my bestfriend. They should be together, I know this, I can feel it. When they are together it is true chemistry. The way she looks at him is pure magic in her eyes. It'll never be anything Oliver and I have. And the reason he will stay with me is not only because he loves me but - because of Lilly's reason. She's right. How would it look if they were together? Oliver's family would be a disgrace only because Lilly isn't exactly the type of girl every parent dots upon.
Suspensions, fights, sex, alcohol, and drugs are all apart of Lilly's lifestyle. Most parents look at her with disdain while Oliver is the guy every parent wants their daughter to marry.
"Stop it, just stop it! "
"Not until you agree to stay, stay here with me."
He shakes his head. "No," He sighs. "You know I can't."
"But you can!" Lilly pauses and steps closer to him. "Please Ollie, please don't go."
They stare at each other for a long moment. I can feel their hearts breaking with the silent words that aren't being said but yet they both know. I lean back and sigh. I think..I think I've heard enough. I shake my head and walk out.
I look up, wondering how long Sarah has been trying to gain my attention.
"Did you hear what I said?" She asks, fixing her glasses on her nose.
"Sorry, Sare..I feel awful."
"I said," She pauses making sure I'm attentive, "That I think I'll get you back in bed and call up the girls. If you're not up to it by tomorrow morning then well, we'll have to call it all off." She looks away as she says this, as if it pains her to think of the idea.
Sarah pulls me up by my shoulders and guides me back to bed. She hands me a bucket, setting a glass of water on the table as she assures me that she'll be out in the living room if I need her. I nod, only wanting her to shutup and leave me be.
She does and I lean back into my pillow, trying to ignore the somersaults my stomach is doing. I wonder if Lilly ever thought about me, about my feelings. About how I would feel if Oliver had decided to break off everything that we had worked for, for her. I wonder if she thought about how I cried at night, knowing that he was with her, knowing that he was thinking of her and not me.
I wonder if she knew that when he looked at me, all he wanted to see was her, was Lilly. How that practically destroyed me inside. Because I know that Oliver should be with her, I wanted them to be together. But now it's about me, for once, it's about Miley. If she wants to come back into our lives, fine, but it's Oliver and Miley. There is no more and never will be Lilly and Oliver no matter what I have to do to make that happen.
A Word From The Author: Hey all! I'm so glad to finally be into spring and so happy this highschool madness is almost over. Tons and tons of homework since we have state testings (blah, blah, it's all useless to me.) But it's good to stretch my fingers on the keyboard - get all my creative juices flowing. I've missed it so much. (:
Oh on another note, There is much more to Miley's sick day than you probably think. Haha - Leave your thoughts.