A/N: Um, hi. Dx I think I broke my promise again. But I'll have a study hall this year, so maybe I'll write…? Owo; Anyway, school starts tomorrow for me. I'm a junior this year. To think that it's been so long since I began this story…

Enjoy chapter nineteen, my dears. :D Thank you for putting up with me. Ily.

Hello Lovely, I Hate You

Chapter Nineteen

After that miserable, sleepless night staring into the mirror at Zetsu's, Hidan secured a shitty apartment of his own and filled it with what meager possessions he could salvage from his room at Kakuzu's. (He had made sure to go back while Kuzu was at work and Charlie was taking a nap.) It was a tiny, dingy place, and did not grow on him whether he had soon spent four months there or not. Time was not a friend to him. Rather, it was a ruthless enemy that would never stop scolding him for his mistakes.

Lonliness was the most familiar face he knew.

Before he had met Kuzu, the Jashinist had lived in a similar fashion. Fast food, dirty rooms, little high society influence. Such a simple life before had seemed perfect. However, now Hidan understood what he could have.

Every so often he would call on an old acquaintance for a quick fuck, but that was nothing more than a bad distraction. No pleasure came from that, but Jashin wasn't spilling any other methods of Kuzu-replacement.

There was more beer than food in the refrigerator (which was mainly of the microwavable variety).

He listened to metal in attempt to release anger, but was only successful in accidentally blowing out his speakers.

I should go on a talk show… Those people are always looking for dumb asses like me. Hey, at least someone would fucking feel sorry for me. I can make a convincing victim, even though this is all my fault.

"…But I had to," said a smaller voice. It was the voice of a scared child, hiding from the rain under a slide, wide eyes begging for forgiveness from the world.

"You know what, Zetsu, my old friend?"

"We don't know anything! Wait, what?" He sputtered, nearly choking on his latest swallow of beer. "Um, sorry. What?"

"Why are you freaking out? Eh, whatever." Zetsu was a weird dude, and him saying random things was not unordinary. "Ah, anyway. I was just thinking, that's all. It wasn't important. In fact, I forgot what I was going to fucking say…"

"Oh," Zetsu breathed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Well. That's okay. Um. We apologize for your short term memory loss…?"

Hidan laughed, giving his friend a strange look. "Man, you sound guilty about something. What's up? Aw, hell, you're not in trouble with the mob again, are you? I'm not putting my ass on the line to cover for you again—"

"No, no! It's nothing like that! We learned our lesson with the mob a long time ago." Shivering, Zetsu denied the allegation. "We, um. We're fine."

"Whatever, dude." Hidan sighed and put his feet up on the coffee table. Absently swirling the liquid in his beer can, he wondered if this was all he'd ever get out of his existence anymore. It was good enough…he didn't demand much, just enough alcohol and razor blades and Jashin to distract himself from his failure to thrive. Oh, all that bullshit he'd been fed in high school about how life was going to be beautiful and they would all grow up to become successful world conquerors…fuck that. This was fine enough. I swear it's fine enough… If I go around demanding more, I'll only be disappointed. He was a realist now. Life sucks and then you die and get to go party in the sky with Jashin. Not too bad, considering the divine reward. Even though Jashin was kind of being an asshole in life, he had to be a nicer guy in death, right? Um, right…?

The sudden vibration of his new cell phone in his pocket startled Hidan so much that he spilled his beer down his shirt. "Fuck!" Scrambling to pry out his phone, he cursed.

Zetsu tried to peer at the screen nervously. "Who is it…?"

"I don't fucking know, hold on!" The zealot snapped, finally reading the number on the caller ID. "It's—"


Oh hell.

He knew that number.

It had been a long time, but not nearly long enough for his heart, since he'd seen that number.

Anger and sorrow burned in his lungs, and he couldn't breathe. "This...this is a new phone. New plan, new company, new motherfucking everything. How could he have found me…?"

The other's eyes were darting around the room wildly, looking anywhere but at Hidan. "We don't understand," he murmured quietly, "Who is calling you, exactly?"

Hidan glared at him fiercely, catching on. "It's motherfucking Kakuzu, you twit. Would you, by any chance, happen to know how he got my new contact information?"

He did not respond. "Oh, really?" he tittered, still not brave enough to look at his friend. "It's Kakuzu? Are you going to answer him?"

Hidan slammed down his phone and beer, lunging to grab Zetsu by the shirt collar, "Look, you bastard, did you give him my new number? Is that why you were acting so guilty?"

"Okay, okay, we confess!" The man wailed, frightened. "P-please let go of us, will you?"

"Damn it!" Hidan huffed, roughly releasing him. The cell phone continued to ring, and continued to be unanswered. "Why the hell would you do that? When the hell did you do that?"

Zetsu rubbed his neck, shrugged, and attempted to be calm and nonchalant. "Well, he, ah… He came looking for you yesterday. Seemed sad, we thought. Very sad. So we gave him your new information, no harm in that, we thought. He – he was so sad looking, you see! And he really appeared desperate to reach you. Maybe he wants to get back together—"

"No!" Hidan barked, "Not a chance in hell of that happening!"

"Oh, why not, Hidan? We saw it, we saw the way you were with him, finally something like content—"

"And look where that got me."


"No, Zetsu. Please, man." His shoulders slumped, and he felt a headache blossoming in his skull. "I can't. I just can't, okay? Um, look…can I…I need to be by myself now, man. Can you go?"

A concerned expression on his face, Zetsu rose uncertainly. "Are you angry with us?"

"Yes, yeah, I'm angry. Duh. But…it'll be fine, let's just forget about it. But I'm not talking to him. Give it up."

He sighed. "Alright."

"Goodbye, Zet."

As Zetsu left, Hidan's phone at last quieted and was still. The Jashinist stared at it, part of him almost longing for it to ring again, despite talking to Kakuzu again was against his better judgment.

Kuzu was sad?

He didn't want Kuzu to be sad…

No. No, fuck him. The bastard deserves to be sad.

Better judgment hurt so badly.

A voicemail alarm sounded.

His body tingled with desire.

Listening to it can't… It can't be too terrible, right?

He bit his lip as he dialed his voicemail, entered his password, and put the phone to his ear to listen.

"Hidan…?" Kakuzu's voice tentatively poured out, enticing feelings in Hidan's chest that were excruciating. "Hidan…" He did sound sad, Zetsu had been right. "I… I thought that I should tell you…that, um… Well, I got this number from your crazy friend, because I needed to tell you about Charlie… He, um. He's…he'd been sick. He died, Hidan, this morning. I thought you should know, because… Anyway. I'm burying him tomorrow, if you…if you want to be there. At noon. At our—at my house. Of course. But, um, I… Oh, fuck. Goodbye."

End of message.

Charlie was dead?

Kakuzu had called.

It hurt.

For so many goddamn reasons.

His heart was on fire.

He didn't know what to do about it.

A/N: I feel so bad about killing Charlie. ;A;

On an unrelated note, have any of you lovely people heard A7X's new album? That's epic, right there.

Thank you. :D