Chapter 1: Alternate Universe Kuchiyose no Jutsu! The Terror Begins!

Naruto Uzumaki poured over the scroll in his hands without a care in the world. Mizuki-sensei was definitely a great guy! After all, he was sure he had never heard of another teacher in the academy allowing people second chances at passing a failed Genin exam before. It definitely meant that Mizuki-sensei must've like him a lot… Well, more so than Iruka-sensei, anyway.

Kage Bunshin no Jutsu… That seemed kind of boring. Bunshin was never his strong point anyway, so maybe he'd pass this one over for now. There had to be something else in here that suited his tastes… Something more – well – awesome, he supposed. There had to be something here that gave out a large bang and was good for pranking purposes, or otherwise he would've just been wasting his time.

One of the lines on the paper caught his eye.

'Dangerous, not to be used under any circumstances. Forbidden for a good reason. Tampers with the time-space continuum. For God's sake, please don't use this technique. I'm begging you here. Look, you might not be able to sense my desperation through a piece of parchment, but can't you see this cute face? Huh? Every time you use this technique, God kills a puppy. Please, think of the Inuzuka. Don't use this technique.'

Right underneath it was a badly-drawn caricature of what seemed to be the Fourth. His hair was coloured yellow with what seemed to be crayons. Strangely enough, the wide puppy-dog eyes and quivering lip seemed to suit him quite well, thought Naruto with a shudder.

Well, it had caught his attention. There was no way in hell he wasn't learning this technique. If it really did what the writer said it did – killing puppies – then he might as well learn it. Akamaru had pissed on his orange jacket last week during class, and the stain remained, dammit. With any luck Kiba would be losing his emergency food source very soon.

"Alternate Universe Kuchiyose no Jutsu…?"

Mizuki smiled as he stared down at the scene. Iruka was slumped against a tree, the wound on his back preventing him from moving or doing anything other than just sitting there. The injury had been straight on his back, and had it gone even a little to the left would've penetrated his spine. At this point, there was no going back.

Naruto stood in front of him, his eyes determined. That goddamn fox, it seemed like no matter what he did or said the kid kept getting back up. Well, that was of no consequence. There was no way in hell that the dead-last of the academy could do against a Chuunin with the abilities of another Hidden Village behind his back. The Kyuubi was as good as dead.

"Now then, Kyuubi… It's time for you to meet your victims in hell."

"Wait, wait, are you sure you want me to go to hell? I mean, that's a really bad place to be sending a demon of all things, isn't it?" asked Naruto, thinking quickly. He had seen something like this on TV before, so it should definitely work! "What's to say I won't suddenly come bursting out of the ground, with magma pillars everywhere and crap, declaring revenge on all you love and hold dear?"

"Ha! That's what you want me to think now, isn't it?" grinned Mizuki. There was no problem with a little banter before killing the brat. The Hokage's troops were hours away from finding this place after all. "Or, maybe you're trying to goad me into attacking you so you can actually do that. Oh no, I'm not going to fall to your reverse psychology, kiddo."

"That's what I would want you to think now, wouldn't it?"

"That's what I would want you to think that I think now, wouldn't it?"

"That's what I would want you to think that I think that you think now, wouldn't it?"

Mizuki tried to count how far they had gone along with this thing. He really couldn't. Instead, he simply growled and held up his fuuma shuriken. This kid was really starting to piss him off now. He could very well be off in the Hidden Sound, enjoying the view and the Pina Coladas as Orochimaru had promised him.

Unaware to the traitorous Chuunin, however, Naruto had been making seals behind his back. During the banter, he had completed about twenty-five out of thirty seals, and he was rapidly finishing off the rest. Grinning, he rose his hand up and bit his thumb.


He slammed his hand down, and suddenly there was a burst of smoke. Mizuki closed his eyes as the debris got into them, and blinked as he looked outwards, a little afraid. The kid knew the Kuchiyose? That meant he might be in a little more trouble than he had first expected… Nevertheless, with his chakra reserves, it couldn't have been anything big.

When the smoke cleared, he blinked. He had expected an animal of some sort, perhaps a dog or cat like the common Kuchiyose. Hell, if it had been a frog or a snake or something it would've made more sense.

What was standing in front of him, however, was definitely not an animal. Well, technically, it was, but calling people animals was hardly conductive to conversation. Another Uzumaki Naruto stood in front of him, slightly taller than the orange-clad one, and wearing clothing that seemed out of this world. A red cap with white stripes hid his blonde hair, and a red jacket with a backpack completed his ensemble. At his side, on his belt, were six white-and-red spheres.

"Huh…? Where am I?" asked the second Naruto.

Mizuki blinked, before shrugging it off. Whatever. One Naruto, two Naruto, it didn't really make a lick of difference to him. Either way, they were going down in a shower of blood and body parts anyway. Lifting his fuuma shuriken once more, he was prepared to slice off the neck of the three guys in front of him before the second Naruto noticed his movement.

"Hey, you must the last Elite Four!" grinned the cap-wearing Naruto. "I've been waiting for you for so long! What the hell happened to Lance, though? I thought he was the last one."

Mizuki shook his head. Whatever the hell this moron was spouting didn't bother him. It was clear from his posture that he wasn't even a trained fighter. There was no point in wasting any time talking to people who were soon going to be dead anyway. And they were cutting into his Pina Colada time! Once more he took up his shuriken, preparing to throw it. This time he would make sure he wasn't interrupted.

"Well, aren't you going to call your Pokemon?"

Mizuki threw his shuriken, missing the cap-wearing Naruto's head by millimetres. The taller blonde's face suddenly changed, as his eyes sharpened. Gone were the happy-go-lucky expressions of a stupid twelve-year-old, here was a hardened Pokemon Trainer.

"Oh… I see what's going on. So Team Sound's gotten even lower, using weapons instead of Pokemon now, huh?" asked the Pokemon Trainer, shaking his head. "Alright then, I will engrave the value of friendship and camaraderie into your head! Bring it on!"

What the hell was he talking about? Was this Gai disguised as Naruto?

With that said, he ripped one of the spheres from his belt and threw it towards Mizuki, who blocked his face, expecting a bomb of some sort. There was a flash, but the sound that came after was the one that scared him. Releasing his block, he found himself staring into the eyes of a horrifying creature.

Its empty eyes stared into his soul, and threatened to rip it from his stomach. He opened his mouth to scream, but found that he could not. Indeed, the vision of horror in front of him made him want to barf instead, had his entire body not been frozen at the sight of it.

"I choose you, Jynx!"

Sarutobi looked down at the bound and gagged Mizuki, who was spasming and convulsing like a Magnitude 9 earthquake. He looked upwards at Aoba and Genma, who had brought him in.

"You… say you found him like this?"

Both Jounin nodded, not sure what else to say.

"Well, are there any clues to why he became this way?"

"Well… he does keep mentioning something about a Lovely Kiss and Pina Coladas in his sleep…"