The War of Haruhi Suzumiya – A Haruhi Suzumiya Fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own the Haruhi franchise or any of its characters. Alas, I am only a crazed fan…

Kyon finds himself in the middle of a cataclysmic war between aliens, espers, time travelers and two girls that have the ability to change the universe… How will he react?

This is my first-ever serious fic and I want it to be a biggie. After all the one-shots and the persistently stalling Americanization fic, I have to do this. This is set after the ninth light novel. Basically, if you haven't read the light novels and you try to read this, it'll be hard to understand. If you want, go to and you can read free translations of the light novels.

Let's kick this off right!


Prologue: A Prelude to Terror

It was the spring before my senior year at North High. The cherry blossoms had begun to bloom and it was beautiful out. Until an experience so traumatic, that even returning to normalcy in the aftermath is hard to do.

But before I start, let me talk about the SOS Brigade at this point in time. I was still the same normal, boring, laid-back guy that Haruhi had dragged into this mess at the beginning of our first year of high school. Haruhi had blossomed into one of the most attractive girls that this young guy has ever seen. She was still crazy as ever, yet she had become more outgoing and by the end of our second year, she had taken over the departed Ryoko Asakura's spot as most popular girl in the class. Asahina-san, our lovely time traveler, had also started to bloom into the gorgeous woman that had helped me out whenever I had to go back in time. She had graduated North High, but was still around to lounge around with the SOS Brigade. Jeez, if I were her, I would have ran when I had the chance. Koizumi was still the same flamboyant, talkative, smug-faced, constantly smiling esper bastard. Need I say more? And of course, our resident alien bookworm, Nagato, remained the same withdrawn, book-reading, expressionless girl. I still dreamed of the day I could see her smile like that alternate Nagato I met...

I digress from my main story. This day began as one of my normal weekends and turned into the single most horrific experience of my life. You remember my middle school pal, Sasaki? The one who I had nothing going on with? We hadn't seen her since the whole episode of her esper pal, Kyouko Tachibana, showing me Sasaki's version of closed space. Boy, was that about to change...


It started off as one of the SOS Brigade's weekend city searches. Haruhi and I had both drawn marked toothpicks and thus had been paired up for the first time ever. After we left the coffee shop that usually served as the unfortunate launch pad for our waste-of-time search, or should I say city search and separated from Asahina-san, Koizumi and Nagato, the crazy girl grabbed my arm with a death grip, and without a word, made a beeline for somewhere that I did not expect for her to go. The mall.

We walked into the mall, or should I say she dragged me into the mall, attracting attention from everyone, old and young. Please stop Haruhi; my public image is slowly being smashed into the ground because of you.

"Shut up, Kyon! I heard there were weird occurrences here! First, let's get ice cream!" Why are you yelling? Also, your use of 'first' is wrong! There were two separate ideas, so please use a conjunction. Anyway, she dragged me into the ice cream shop and ordered four scoops of pistachio on a chocolate-covered waffle cone. As expected, she looked at me, or more specifically, the front pocket where my wallet was. I sighed, reached for my wallet and paid. What? 850 yen for an ice cream cone?! Are the cows on strike?!

Considering I had paid for the tab at the coffee shop and Haruhi's ridiculously expensive ice cream cone, my wallet was as empty as Al Capone's vault. As I cried silent tears due to my newfound poverty, Haruhi dragged me to a nearby bench so that she could enjoy her ice cream. As she licked the ice cream, dirty thoughts raced through my head. I am, after all, a normal human male. My eyes must have had a hungry, stalker-like look on my face because Haruhi scowled at me as she offered me some of the cone.

"What are you looking at, dumb face?" You sound like you're ten. "Well, it's not my fault you're looking at me like a pervert! Or are you looking at my ice cream like that? In that case, have some!" She shoved the cone in my face and I think a little bit got on my lip. I wiped it off, but I guess some must have been left because something unexpected happened then and there. Haruhi looked behind me and her eyes widened, but before I could turn around, she grabbed my cheek. Then…

Haruhi Suzumiya kissed me on the lips.

This was no dream sequence, the sky was not gray, there weren't blue giants running rampant behind me but she kissed me. I could feel my cheeks burning like the fires of Hell and Haruhi pulled away with a face the shade of the Pink Panther. Remembering Haruhi's wide-eyed expression though, I looked behind me.

Standing there was my childhood friend, Sasaki, with her entourage of the esper Tachibana, the alien Suou and the fake-named, smirking, evil Koizumi twin Fujiwara. Sasaki's mouth was agape and her eyes were wide. I could have sworn I saw a twinge of jealousy or anger in those eyes.

"Oh hello Kyon. I can see that you're busy, so we'll see you around." Man, that was super awkward. I swear that I could hear disdain in that voice. She walked away with her crew, all sporting smiles (except for Suou and Sasaki) despite what just happened. Oh, shit.

After that occurrence with Haruhi, we walked around the mall a bit more before returning to the meeting spot, only stopping for Haruhi to buy a sexy, ultra revealing spy outfit for Asahina-san to cosplay in. Seeing Asahina-san in that would probably jumpstart my career as a pervert or a stalker. Upon returning to the meeting spot, we saw that Koizumi, Asahina-san and Nagato were already back.

All of them had very concerned looks on their faces.

Don't tell me that they heard about Haruhi and I kissing. I'm starting to fear that they have little spy cameras everywhere, watching my every move. I'd be fine with Asahina-san doing it, maybe even Nagato for safety's sake, but thinking of that smug bastard Koizumi watching me shower or change is enough to cause me to don a straitjacket and head to the nearest asylum. Haruhi, who I noticed was wearing a huge grin the entire walk back to the spot, declared us dismissed for the day. However, I requested that we all meet in an hour in the same spot, minus Haruhi. With that, I went home and mentally prepared for some bad news.


I was the last one to arrive an hour later, like usual, but there was no joking around about it; Asahina-san had an "all-business" look. Nagato was her usual, stoic self and Koizumi had no trace of that plastic smile on his face.

"Kyon, this is a matter of dire importance," the esper said to me, "the three of us know that you and Suzumiya-san kissed in the mall about two hours ago. We also know that she did it because she saw Sasaki-san coming." Really? Why would she do that? "As the three of us told you, Suzumiya-san chose you. She saw Sasaki-san as a prospective foe, despite her calm nature. In fact, though she kissed you, Suzumiya-san is creating closed space due to the fact that she felt threatened by Sasaki-san's presence."

Why me, though? Sasaki's just a friend. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Sasaki-san seems to have chosen you as well. You know that other factions believe her to be what Suzumiya-san really is. It is time for me to reveal what they have chosen you for. Kyon, they are in love with you. Suzumiya-san wishes to be the queen of the universe, right? She wants you as her king. Sasaki-san, that simple girl, wants you as her boyfriend. This ties into the dire situation." Usually, I'd be ecstatic about two girls fighting over me; I'd love to be in one of those dating sim situations. Err, did I just say that?

"The dire situation is that Kyouko Tachibana, a member of the separatist wing of the Organization known as the Revelation, has received specific orders from her high command. These orders are to bring Sasaki to her mental breaking point and imbue some esper power in her, at which time her powers will be revealed. You may ask how I know this. I have received orders from my commanders to get ready for battle. It seems that the Organization and the Revelation are preparing for battle. I can't say that I'm not shaking in anticipation." He put his smug bastard smile back on and cracked his knuckles. At that point, I received a small tug on my sleeve. The resident alien, dressed in her North High uniform on a Saturday, decided to talk.

"The Macrospatial Quantum Cosmic Existence, known simply to you as the Sky Canopy Domain, has given orders to its human interface. The human interface of the Macrospatial Quantum Cosmic Existence will intwine some of its powers within the one named Sasaki's body. The interface will then juxtapose the one named Sasaki's ill will towards Haruhi Suzumiya with the latent energy lying within her to create the antithesis of the potential of evolution, the cessation of evolution."

Unlike every other time that I heard Nagato speak, I actually understood where she was going. Am I getting smarter? Now is not the time to think of that. While I am no Oxford scholar, I understood Nagato enough to realize that Sasaki's alien counterpart was going to merge Sasaki's dislike for Haruhi with her unrealized powers. This will create a destructive force, won't it?

"Yes." I cringed just thinking of that puffy-haired human interface girl. She was responsible for what happened to Nagato at the snow mountain. I could never in my entire life forgive that Macrospatial piece of crap for what it did to Nagato.

Finally, my beautiful sempai, Asahina-san, spoke to me.

"Kyon-kun, my higher-ups, discontinuing their usual task of leaving me in the dark during important missions, tell me that the other time traveler Fujiwara is going to try to eliminate Suzumiya-san in earlier stages of her life to grant Sasaki-san the power that Suzumiya-san has. Other time travelers will be dispatched for the past, but I will remain here to protect this time. I will protect you." She had a determined look on her face that increased her charm points by at least 45 percent. I was honored that she promised to protect me. My heart was moved.

"Kyon, I will do my best to make sure you don't get touched." Koizumi said, giving me a thumbs-up and a wink. Never again, Koizumi. Never. Again. "Sorry!"

"I also will protect you." Nagato said, her big eyes gazing into mine. That confirmation made me feel the safest out of all of them.

I finally let everyone's message sink in. Sasaki's "friends" were basically going to mold her into some destructive force. This meant that the entire world was at risk. Haruhi, still unaware of her nature, would probably just be going along in her business when Sasaki would show up and obliterate her. That meant I had to talk to two people: Sasaki and Haruhi. I would talk to Sasaki first, calm her down, steer her away from what Koizumi called her "breaking point". Then, I would let Haruhi know about everyone and everything around her. I would let her know that she's a god, a massive timequake or the potential for evolution. I would let her know that for the good part of two and a half years that she was hanging around with an alien, an esper and a time traveler in her midst. She would have to believe me this time, because I was going to bring out the trump card. I am John Smith.

I called Sasaki as soon as I got home. No answer. I called again. No answer. I must have called at least ten times but still no answer. I meant to call Haruhi, but as it was already late, I had drifted away to sleep.

This was a mistake, I should have stayed awake and called her and I realized why the next morning.


(Hare Hare Yukai plays.)

(A/N: Boy, this was tough to write. I'm at work right now, and I spent a good hour just sitting here thinking about what to write. Good thing my boss isn't here today : ). It was hard for me to talk like Nagato, so I was constantly on getting the most complex synonyms of a simple word. I kind of ran out of gas at the end because of the fact I'm already thinking about the next three chapters. I hope you like it though. Please review, constructive criticism is accepted and recommended. Peace, love and bubblegum!)