The Cliché in the Hospital Room

A/N: Words do not describe how fun this was to write. Seriously. There are none.

DISCLAIMER: Yeah, I'm totally Hart Hanson. In my spare time I enjoy posing as a teenage girl and writing stories about the TV show I created.

Go figure.

"So?" Booth asked with a yawn, relaxing in the hospital bed. "What do you think?"

"What do I think?" Brennan looked up from his chest, arching an eyebrow. "About what?"

"About him." He gestured over to the blue-lined bassinet situated by the bedside, one which held a currently sleeping baby boy. "You happy with him?"

"No, I'm horrified." She deadpanned, rolling her eyes "I demand a do-over."

"I have this feeling it's a little late for that."

"Why, whatever do you mean? Can't we just have the doctors put him back in for a few months? Make him cuter?"

"You'd really be willing to be pregnant for 'a few more months'?"

Brennan shuddered in horror, making a disgusted face "Scratch that. He's good the way he is."

Booth couldn't help the chuckle that emanated from him as he placed a kiss on his girlfriend's head. "Do you need anything?" Temperance buried her face in his side sleepily, yawning a big mouthful of T-shirt.

"A magical remover for stretch marks."

"I'll get right on that one. Anything else?"

"Sleep." Brennan paused "And some real food on the tray when I wake up."

"Not, say, a name for our precious little miracle?"

"Name? But I had planned on just calling him 'Thing One'."

"No, that'd imply there being a 'Thing Two' in our future."

"Which there isn't." Bones said with finality, giving him a stern look "One kid is enough for me, thanks very much."

"Admit it. You're excited about being a mom."

"No." She wrinkled her eyebrows "Can't say that I'm particularly anticipating it."

"So, names?" He changed the subject quickly, smug in the knowledge that she'd come around to motherhood. Eventually.

"Zachary Jack Brennan-Booth?"

"That sounds like a kind of breakfast cereal."

"Oh, c'mon. Z.J is a cute name."

"Darling, you're killing me here. Next?"

"Don't call me darling. And what about Edmond?"

"Edmond?"

"Yeah. I think it's a cute name. Very sophisticated."

"…We'll consider it as a middle. Howabout Porter?"

"Two letters away from Parker. Noel?"

"Merry Christmas, Happy New year!"

"Point taken."

"Owen?"

"Wilson."

He glanced down at her in surprise "Am I hallucinating? Did you just make a pop-culture reference? After giving birth to my son?"

"Yes. The Royal Tenenbaums was a very thought-provoking film. I thought the character of Richie was my favorite, because of the complexity of his emotions for Margot-"

"That, and I made you watch The Wedding Crashers while you were pregnant."

"And that." Brennan sighed.

"Luca?"

"Luca?"

"Yeah. We can call him 'Luc' for short, with a 'c', because we're crazy like that."

"Fine. But we're using Edmond as a middle name."

Booth wrinkled his face in distaste "Why Edmond?"

"While I've always found Astronomy a bit of a trite science, Sir Edmond Halley was a very educated and interesting man…and Halley's Comet has always been my favorite."

"Luca Edmond Brennan-Booth?"

"That's quite the mouthful."

"If he's anything like you, he'll be able to take it."

"Booth! That was disgusting!"

"Yeah, didn't quite think that one out before I said it." He admitted, grimacing. "But…Luca Edmond. Luc Edmond. Yeah…Yeah, I like that."

"He's going to hate us for it when he grows up." Brennan wearily glanced at the bassinet out of the corner of her eye.

"Yeah, but by the time he's sixteen, he's going to hate us for so many things naming him 'Luca Edmond' is going to be way, way on the bottom of the list." He paused, looking at her anxious expression. "You're going to be a great mother, you know?"

"Damn straight I am." She mumbled "'m not sure if he's going to think so, though."

"He'll love you."

"I spent 18 hours pushing him out of my vagina. He'd better."

Booth chuckled "Get some sleep. By the time you open your eyes there'll be substantial food right on that tray. No ice chips- no matter how many nurses I have to serve with an FBI warrant to get to it."

"Promise?"

"Scout's Honor."

"I knew there was a reason I loved you." Brennan slurred, her voice becoming heavy with sleep. "G'night."

"G'night."

A/N: Could I be persuaded to continue this? Well, flattery does get you everywhere.