Every morning, Ed rides up the elevator to get his assignments and military stuff from Central Headquarters. Every morning, without fail, Roy Mustang always shows up at the same time Ed does. Every morning, Ed is forced to ride for a whole minute with the Colonel up to Central's main lobby.

and

every morning, the two must find some way to irritate the heck out of each other.

Presenting:

How to Annoy Your Colleague

-From Evee/She-wolf vixen-

Chapter One: Pens


Edward jabbed the elevator's up button repeatedly muttering to it, "Hurry up, damn you, hurry up!"

Ed glanced behind him to see the Colonel striding easily towards him, smiling that stupid know-it-all smile. Ed turned back to the elevator and began poking it even faster. "No, no, come oooon!!"

"Pressing it like that won't make the wait any shorter..." Roy smirked as he walked right up to the boy, emphasizing the 'short' bit.

Ed gritted his teeth. Cool it. Cool it Edward Elric. He's trying to make you mad, don't let him get to you...

Ding

The elevator doors slid open and Ed rushed into the small room, treating the 12th floor button as he had the up button, hoping the doors would close and leave the Colonel behind. However, Roy merely slid in behind him and stood waiting patiently.

"How thoughtful of you to push the button for me, FullMetal..." Roy chuckled.

A vein popped in Ed's forehead and he stood facing the button panel as the doors converged and locked the two men together. One irritated boy, and one pompous oaf. Ed glanced at the Colonel who was watching the floor counter. The numbers went up slowly...

1...

'ding'

2...

'ding'

3

It was almost unbearable...before Ed had an idea...

The blonde slowly pulled out a pen and watched Roy out of the corner of his eye. When the older man looked away for a second, Ed dropped the pen casually on the floor and quickly looked away, staring at the button panel as if he hadn't noticed. Ed saw Roy glance at the pen, and then at him. The Colonel bent down to pick up the pen...and now!

"HEY!! THAT'S MINE!!" Ed screamed at the top of his lungs.

Roy stumbled back, looking shocked.

"DON'T YOU TAKE MY PEN! THAT'S MINE!!" YOU STOLE IT DIDN'T YOU!? YEAH! I KNEW IT, YOU DECEIVING BASTARD!!" Ed struggled to keep his face livid, to keep himself from laughing out loud at the look on Roy's face. "DON'T YOU DAAARE TOUCH IT!! NOW BACK AWAY FROM THE PEN! BACK AWAY FROM THE PEN!!"

Roy was staring at him with a half-scared half-confused face.

Ed laughed insanely. "I'VE RECOVERED THE PEN AL, I WILL BRING JUSTICE TO THE WOOOORLD!!" Ed uttered another evil laugh.

"FullMetal, have you gone insane?!" Roy's eyes were huge, his pupils dilated.

"THE PEN! THE PEN! THE SACRED PEN! ALL IS GOOD, THE WORLD WILL BE WHOLE AGAIN! WITH THIS PEN, I WILL BRING DOWN JUSTICE WITH A MIGHTY FIST AND STRIKE DOWN THE TOXIC SUBSTANCE DISGUISED AS WHAT IS CALLED MILK!! ALL WHO ATTEMPTS TO STEAL THE PEN WILL BE PUNISHED, AHAHAHA!"

Ed pointed the pen like a gun towards Roy and grinned maniacally.

"E-Edward?" Roy whispered, extremely concerned.

"FACE THE WRATH OF THE PEN O EVIL ONE-"

'ding'

The elevator doors slid open and Colonel Mustang hurried out and headed straight for the nearest phone. However, as soon as he picked it up, he heard laughing.

Ed stumbled out of the elevator laughing hysterically. "HAHA! You should have seen your face Mustang, haha, I got yooou!"

Roy had frozen at this before stalking off to his office, leaving Ed to roll around in his giggles.

After today, Roy vowed, elevator rides will never be the same...


Liked it? Hated it?

In any case, stick around for the next installment where Roy gets his revenge.

How to Annoy Your Colleague;

Number One:

Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream,
"That's mine!" and go into a maniacal rant.