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You Know that kind of turtle that slowly strolls around all day eating lettuce, wondering why he gets stepped on by little

kids and only has one friend who has an odd hair due and always smells like crab meat? I'm just trying to figure out what

the hell is going on around me.

My name is Mr. Turtle


You see as a young turtle I was the smallest in my family. Unfortunately, since we lived in a pet store I grew up with my

siblings. They would always be mean to me and try to flip me onto my back.

When Crabman came to the pet store I thought to myself, "It's my time to get out of this hellhole!" and it was.

As soon as Crabman got to the front desk he said," Hey, uh my old pet, Mr. Bearded Dragon died and I'm looking for a new

pet, but I don't think that I'm ready to handle another bearded dragon. I'm just not ready!" and then that weird Indian

dude who barely speaks English said, "You…buy…tur-tle?"

Crabman came over to are tank and I think that he was going to buy one of my brothers, but then for some very odd

reason he chose me and said to the other turtles, "You should be ashamed of yourselves pickin' on a little turtle like this,"

and that was the day that I got out of the pet store.