Have you ever done back and looked at your old writing only to wince at it and wonder what you were doing? It seems I do that a lot these days. Still, these stories are a reminder of how far I've come, and while I want to re-write most of them, I might keep up the originals just so I can see if I've changed.
...though I've been editing out a lot of script-style authors notes. I'm not sure what I was thinking back then.
I sat in the far corner of the room, glaring at her. Oh how I hated her. She mocked me mercilessly and silently, doing nothing but just existing, and it was simply that – existing–that I couldn't stand about her. What could She do that I could not? What did she have that I didn't? Was I not as worthy as she was? Was there something about that stupid little thing that could gain his attention, when my attempts had failed? It frustrated me to no end when I couldn't figure out why he seemed to love her so much, yet when I tried to show my affection, he remained painfully oblivious, as always.
"…an….chan…BOCCHAN!" I jumped, torn away from my thoughts as Chaltier's persistent thoughts could be heard echoing in the room. I glanced at the bed to see if Stahn was looking over here; after all, Chaltier was screaming his lungs (or lack there of) out. Tch, but of course, he was still happy as can be, snuggled up tightly with her. "Boccha-!"
"What?" I turned my gaze to the sword sitting on the table, frowning slightly. "You don't have to shout; you're going to bother the people in the next room."
"You weren't answering me!" Chaltier shouted sounding exasperated. Sighing, I muttered a quick apology. He did have a point; I hadn't even heard him calling me until he started shouting, and he can reach quite a pitch when he's being ignored. His normal voice is already fairly feminine and high, so when he shouts, it only gets worse.
"Sorry." I apologized again, tearing my gaze away from Stahn once more. "Do you need something?"
"I wanted to know why you were looking at Stahn with murderous intent."
"I wasn't looking at Stahn."
"But you were-" Chaltier trailed off, then groaned. "Bocchan, please not that again. It's ridiculous. You shouldn't be jealous of someone like her." I ignored Chaltier's protests turning away from him. He didn't understand at all how I was feeling. I had full right to be jealous, when she was there, in his arms when I was supposed to be his… ARGH! I just can't stand it!
I stood up, not caring that I knocked the chair over as I did so, and marched into the bathroom, preparing myself for bed, before I stormed back out again. I must have been slamming around quite a bit, because Stahn woke up and looked at me, a tired and utterly confused look on his idiotic little face. It pissed me off to no end. I hate overly happy people like him. I really, really do.
"Lion?" He yawned, loudly too. How the hell can someone yawn that loudly anyway? "Huh? Why are you glaring at me? What did I do?!" My eyes darted towards her again. Wrapped snuggly in his arms, that stupid little smile on her face as she stared back at me. I swear she was smirking at me, and that was the last straw. I couldn't take just watching anymore, so I took action.
Storming over to the bed, I reached down and ripped the stupid little thing from his arms, throwing it across the room, earning a shout of protest from Stahn as he gave me a half-hearted glare. Shoving him to the other side of the bed, I climbed in after him and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist, digging my face into his chest. I calmed down quite a bit as the familiar scent of that was just…Stahn took over, and I relaxed. He tensed for a moment, before I felt him wrap his arms around me tightly. As angry as I was before, it all seemed to melt away with his arms (and how he manages to do that I don't have a clue). I couldn't help myself, and I smiled. There was silence between us before,
"…Were you jealous of my teddy-bear?" I could hear the laughter being held back in his voice as I glared up at him. Sure enough, there was that smug little smirk, and I had the overwhelming urge to smack it right off his face, but my arms were already busy, and I didn't feel like moving them. Instead I settled for hiding my face in his chest again and replying.
"Yes?" He was still amused; I could hear it in his voice. Stupid country-hick.
"Ahahaha! I knew it! I was right, wasn't I? Oh man, that's hilarious! Big serious 'Don't-feck-with-me' Lion, jealous of a bear! Oh man, wait until I tell Lilith what you thought of her present!"
"STAHN! SHUT UP!" I shouted loudly pulling away from him. "I swear if you don't you're going to spend the whole night getting to know that shock collar I put on you a lot-mmgghh!" Of course he'd cut me off with a kiss. He always does, and dammit it always works too (rather, I let it work). I was still mad at him! Jealous of ateddy-bear! Like I hell I was! I was MUCH better then some cloth and fluff haphazardly thrown together! A stuffed animal can't give you warmth, it can't hug you back and it sure as hell can't love you. Only I could give Stahn that and I planned to remind him of it every time he tried to replace me with that stupid little toy.
He pulled away and I took my place against his chest again (have I mentioned he makes a very nice pillow? He does: warm and soft, better then the over-stuffed things the inn gives you). There was more silence, then,
"…You were jealous, weren't you?"