Shelly, Harlan, and the Glitched Up Emulator

Hehehe...I do believe I killed my emulator, 'cause now it's very-fast paced. (It was worth it, though.)


(Two weeks before...)

Shelly and Harlan were at Shelly's apartment in Dewford Town, playing video games on the computer with an emulator. As usual, Harlan didn't get a turn, and Shelly kept using the space bar to make things faster.

" YAAAH ! I WILL FINISH POKEMON CRYSTAL IN THREE DAYS ! " Shelly roared as she hit the space bar rapidly.

Harlan sweatdropped. " Uh, Shelly ? I don't think that's a very good idea... "

" What, cramming dairy products in my nose ? "

T.T " You know what I mean. The space bar. "

Shelly shrugged. " I'm not worried. After all, what's the worse thing that could happen ? "


(Now)

Harlan reread the note that he had received from Shelly.

Harlan,

You were right (damn it). I pressed the space bar on the emulator too many times, and now everything is acting like it got one dose of supercrack. It's scary...yet addicting. Oh, and I'm trapped inside the computer...so...GET ME OUT OF THIS JACKBOX !

Shelly

The man groaned. " If I had a nickel for every time I've bailed Shelly out of sh-t, I'd be one wealthy Magma admin, " he muttered.

He stepped inside of Shelly's apartment. As usual, it looked like a dive, with crushed root beer cans all over the place, and dirty cups of ravioli stacked up on top of the DVD player. " Shelly ? Uh, Shelly ? I hope you're not bullsh-tting me, 'cause I was supposed to carry Maxie's croqueting crap to his tournament today, and I had to come over here ! So...you better be in that Compaq, or I'm gonna be pissed. "

An image on the Compaq revealed to be Shelly. She waved. " Heyyy, it's you, Harlan-chan. Thank God. I've been burning Corphish's crap on Eusine's lawn, and I was afraid that he would rummage through your mailbox again. "

Harlan sighed. " Whatever. So...how do I get in there ? "

" Press space bar. Or z. It really doesn't make a difference, though. "

" Okay... "

As he pressed the space bar, Harlan was pixelated and transferred into the game of Pokemon Crystal. There Shelly was, near the Radio Tower in Goldenrod City, watching people come and go on 2222 percent. Harlan sweatdropped and his cheeks flared. " Shelly, what the hell did you do ?! " he demanded.

Shelly shrugged. " Hey, don't blame me. Blame Nintendo. It's all their f--king fault. Or VBA's. "

" Well, how do you get out of a glitchy game ? "

" I dunno. It's just like Gaia Fishing. Normal people can't fix it. "

-.- " Since when have you been normal ? "

V.V " Touche. Well, now that we're both here, can we have sex ? "

" WHAT ?! Not in a T rated fic ! You have got to be crazy ! "

" Well, you'd be too, if you've had nothing to eat but Olivine Cafe food scraps ! It's horrible ! "

Harlan facefaulted. " Well, this is Johto, right ? "

" Yeah... "

" So...let's hope we don't meet up with Eusine. This is his turf, you know. "

" Yeah, I've been trying to stay away from that douche. "


(poof to Ecruteak's Tin Tower!)

Eusine gawked at Harlan and Shelly. Shelly slapped Harlan in the back of the head. " Gotdamn glitches ! " she yelled. " This isn't fair ! "

She turned to a monk and kicked him into a window, making him bleed badly from the cut glass. " STUPID F--KING BALD HEADED MONK WANNABES ! " she roared. " I HATE THOSE F--KING HIPPIES ! "

Harlan moaned. " I knew I should've dated Flannery instead... "

Eusine smirked. " Well, if it isn't Harlan and Curly Top. Welcome-to-Pokemon-Crystal-where-everythingisglitchedupbecauseofsomebitch. "

" Uh, can you repeat those last words, Cape Guy ? " Shelly asked.

" Surebitchit'sveryfuntocurseoutbecausethere'snocensorsinthepokemongameworldHAHAHAHAHAHA ! "

" WHAT THE F--K IS WRONG WITH YOU ?! "

O.o " I have no idea. All I know is when I start a sentence with the letters S-to Z, I get glitched. SoShellyareyoustillabitchywaterloverthathatesSuicune ? "

( 0.0 ) " Yes...I hate Suicune. We've already established that in the Wi-Fi chats. "

" Okay, then. PrepareforSuicunemutantsthatI'vecreatedwithweirdgenetictecnology,then ! "

Harlan scratched his head. " Dude, you're not making any sense. "

( x x ) " MUTANT SUICUNE, DAMN IT ! "

In a flash thirty grotesque-looking Suicune all popped around Shelly and Harlan. Eusine gave an evil laugh (or tried his best). " HAHAHAHA ! I must go now ! I'm watching Mermaid Melody ! "

Shelly gasped. " That's for girls, though ! IT'S A SHOJO ANIME ! "

" So ? "

-pointy!- " You're stereotypically gay ! Not even Ellen can tolerate those kinds of gay people ! It's just wrong and that's why almost everyone thinks that tolerating the gay community is unacceptable ! "

/.\ " Whatever. I'm gonna stalk Suicune ! "

-poof!-

Harlan turned to Shelly. " What's with that talk ?! "

" Archie's gay. "

" ...He is ? "

" Yeah. You'd never know, though. "

Harlan nodded. " So, what do we do about the glitchy mutated gerbils, then ? "

Shelly gave a nasty grin. " I know what. Let's glitch things up ! "

She pressed the space bar on her cellphone thirty times, and each Suicune exploded.

Suddenly, the Tin Tower started to crumble. Harlan's jaw dropped. Shelly grunted. " I am not going back to court ! " she exclaimed. " Harlan, kiss me and let's get the hell out of here ! "

" Bu- "

" KISS ME, DAMN IT ! "

Harlan kissed Shelly on the lips for a full five minutes before finally using the exit function on the emulator.


( 0.0 ) " One glitched up game, " Harlan muttered.

Shelly grinned. " Yeah, but we made some commandershippy love. "

" Hmph. Sometimes I wonder if the only reason why I put up with you is because that Kaida threatened me with a shotgun. "

SMACK !

" But. I guess it's because we love each other, isn't it ? "

" And hate the living sh-t out of Eusine, " Shelly added.

" Yeah. NOW LET'S TORCH THIS COMPAQ ! "

And so the couple ended their glitchy game with torching the Compaq and setting it on Eusine's porch in Celadon.

End