Well hello all. I'm justanotherguyathiscomputer. Well this is a first in a new series I'm starting. It's a series of unusual and some never used parings. This all started with a conversation with a friend of mine, Electric Eclectic, on Myspace. He made a comment on how Maya isn't used that much in fanfiction. You don't really read that much about her in a lot of stories. Then well over the past week we've been talking about unusual parings and well we've came up with a few. This is the first. So get ready for it………Maya/Kozo. Yeah old dirty men need love too. Well read and review.

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Tuesday-Maya/Kozo

It was a Tuesday, the worst day of the week. Most people think the worst day of the week is Monday, but no its Tuesday. Why, you ask. Well simply put, Monday is the second day of the week, but first in the work week. Monday is the first day back to school, so it isn't that bad. Cause if you didn't get to see one of your friends that weekend then you'd get to see them now, but it wasn't Monday. It was Tuesday, and Tuesday is the worst day of the week. And because of this new movies come out to DVD on Tuesdays, but even with something to look forward to on Tuesday its still the worst day of the week. I mean I explained Monday, and Wednesday is the halfway mark, so…bonk-thud-dragged away

Sorry bout that folks, what do ya say we get on with this story while the old narrator….sleeps. Well like he said it was a Tuesday, and on this particular Tuesday Shinji found himself waking to school carrying one Asuka on his back. Why is Shinji carrying Asuka on his back? Well it's a funny story that involves soap, a drunken horse, three dead birds, a roman candle, and four sausages. How Toji and Kensuke got that horse up three flights of stairs while it was drunk I'll never know. I'm not sure what their plain was, not sure I want to know, but the end result was one very pissed off penguin, and the surprising discovery of Asuka's unexplained and sudden fear of drunk horses. What that doesn't explain why she's being carried by Shinji? Oh well when she ran out the house she forgot her shoes and man him carry her. Sorry I thought it was obvious that was why….but all this has nothing to do with this story…or anything actually.

Our story is about half a mile east and about three miles down from that sidewalk. Deep inside of NERV, inside a tank, floated one Rei Ayanami…..no wait is that…yeah its Maya? Maya's in the tank? And who is that…it's the vice-Commander? Why is he dressed up like the Commander?

"Maya…erm ahh I mean Rei your test is over." He said.

"Yes vice…er Commander." Ma-errr Rei aaahhggg Maya dressed as Rei said, as she climbed….walked? How does one get out of there anyway? Hell how does Rei get into it? Oh wait she's out.

As 'Rei' walked seductively, hips swaying left-right-left-right-left-right. Ohhhh God…..oh ehherm yes back to the story.

The 'Commander' sat in the chair, that he brought from the real commander's office, as Maya dress-er um undressed as Rei finished her sexy walk and kneeled before him. The commander then pulled 

something from his pants and offered it to her, it was old, wrinkled, shriveled up, and looked dead, and said, "Raisin?"

"No thank you. Now ummm should we get this over?"

"Oh umm yes lets" he said.

Maya and Kozo then proceeded to have sex….well as much sex as a dirty old man like Kozo Fuyusuki could. Oh wait is that…yep a dirty old man's best friend, Viagra. Well since no one wants to read about that, lest check back with Shinji and Asuka.

Back with Shinji and Asuka, we find them in a darken alley and….Shinji is lying pant less on the ground backing away from Asuka.

"You're little ticket said good for request." She said. "And this is my request."

Shinji's eyes widened and he yelled, "Help Section-2, Misato, Father,…Rei!"

"Yes Ikari?" Rei said.

"Oh thank God, Ayanami please help me." He said with pleading eyes.

"I am sorry to say I am also here to collect on my one request." She replied without any emotion at all.

"NO ONE MOVE!" Screamed a female Section-2 officer.

Shinji smiled, "Oh thank you I'm saved."

"Is this a good time to cash in my request?" she asked, and Shinji then made a mental note to start saving so he could have enough money to buy everyone a real Christmas gift next year.

Well back with Maya and Kozo…or 'Rei' and the 'Commander'. Maya finished putting on her clothes in a huff. 'Humph Kozo the Stud my ass. Oh well I think I'll cash in that ticket Shinji gave me for Christmas.' She thought.

It was just another Tuesday. And for Shinji it was a Tuesday that he'd never forget it. Whether he wanted to or not, cause what happens near Pen-Pen ends up on the internet, and for some reason channel 6 news. But too bad for Kozo since he's so old he ended up forgetting everything. Poor guy he'll never know that he had sex with Maya, who dyed her hair blue to look like Rei, at the time.

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Well it sucked, but I hope you laughed. This is the first in a series I'm going to do. They all may or not be as stupid as this. Hell who am I kidding, they're all going to be stupid. The next crack paring will be………Rei/Misato…Misato/Gendo…or Kozo/Asuka. I'll let you guys choose. Just put your choice in a review and after a week which one has the most votes that's the one I'll do. Also feel free to throw an unusual paring my way along with your choice, as it could be used in the next selection. Well later and 

don't forget to review. Also I am not responsible for any sickness caused by just the thought of the last choice there. Later