Jacob, yes I remember him now. I've seen him here before. I give him a small wave before leaving and walking back towards the Manor. I take off my boots and take Cass from his seat when we come in through the door. Draco has been coming home all the time for lunch now so it would only make sense he'd do it today too. I don't know why though. We're around each other so much it's disturbing.
I choose to meet Draco in the main hallway because he seems to like it when I do that and as I make my way to the stair case something hard hurts the bottom of my foot. I shift the baby to my hip and bend my knee to see what it was. The ball of my foot still aches so I look around the ground for the rock that I stepped on, hoping to find it so I don't step on it again. I find the white pebble and pick it up to inspect it. It's jagged and I bring it close to my face so I can see it clearly. Cassius tries to take it from so I hold it away and give him a look.
"You don't want this." I tell him, giving him a kiss as he frowns.
I almost drop the pebble again, not interested until I look at it one last time. When I realize what it I hold it away from me in horror. It's a tooth. A molar, with a root and dried blood around its edges.
"Gross, gross, gross." I keep on repeating as I drop it. It clatters against the marble floor and bounces away from me. I step backwards and wipe my hand furiously on my dress like it would get rid of any of the nasty stuff that was on it. "Disgusting." It probably belonged to one of the people yelling in pain last night. I gag and hold Cassius a little tighter.
What the hell kind of house is this and what kind of man is Draco? Not a man, a monster. I keep backing away from the tooth, a piece of someone, until I hit something solid and hard.
"Generally normal people walk foreword, my love. I thought you would have grasped that concept by now." I spin around and face Draco as he gives me an amused smile, taking off his gloves and hat. His cloak comes next and when I don't say anything he gives me a curious look. "You look ill."
"I…um… well… I…." I'm stuttering like an idiot. I'm afraid of him right now. This sense of utter loathing towards him and myself has seeped into me. "I…"
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asks in response to my foolish behavior. He looks me up and down in distaste like I was a bug or something. "Whatever it is, stop it. We're going out tomorrow so you can't act like a moron."
My cheeks flame but I say nothing. There's no point. I nod my head and do nothing as he takes the baby from me. Running his long fingers over the baby's soft blond hair. Those hands kill people, those hands torture people, those hands comfort my son, those hands pleasure me. This is all messed up. I close my eyes and shake my head, trying to rid it of those thoughts. Draco says something but I don't hear. I'm pulled out of myself when he grabs my arm.
"I'm talking to you. You're being rude." He says harshly. I suppose he's still in a bad mood.
"I'm sorry, Draco." That's like my motto now.
"What are you sorry for?"
"For not listening to you like I should have." I say like a little child.
He lets go of my arm and stands up straight. His cold eyes burning into mine. "Let's go eat."
I gulp and nod my head again, following him down the hallway and into the dining room. Our food is already set up and I can't look at Draco, my husband, my enemy. I'm sure if I did I would want to ask him about the tooth that I found and I really don't want to hear that answer. Our meal continues in silence and I refuse to look at him.
"You seem distracted today." He says as he takes a drink from his glass. "Why is that?" he sounds suspicious.
I shrug my shoulders and pick at my food with my fork. "No reason."
"Ginevra." When he says my full name it's like nails on a chalk board. I reluctantly look at him from the corner of my eyes. "Have you been talking to any of the servants?"
I gulp loudly again and remember what happened earlier this morning. "No…" I lie softly. I shouldn't lie but it's my first instinct.
"You're not lying to me, are you?"
"Of course not. Why would I talk to any of them?" I ask, taking a drink of water and trying not to choke on it.
"Because you're a lying cunt who constantly does stupid things to upset me." Those words cut me like a knife and I look at him with hurt eyes. He puts his glass down and sighs, rubbing his face. "I shouldn't have said that to you." He takes it back, the closest thing to an apology I think I'll ever get from him. He looks straight ahead with a clenched jaw. "I've just been having another terrible day." He sounds tired as he puts his napkin back on the table to signal that he's done eating.
He seems to be warming up. "So work has been stressful?" I ask as I watch his every movement. Now he's the one who seems distracted.
"Everything has been stressful." He says honestly. He looks human right now. The Death Eater mask must have slipped.
I chew my lower lip and then reach my hand out to his, placing mine on top. "It will get better." It seems like the right thing to say right now even though in the back of my mind I secretly wish everything will be terrible for him. He deserves it.
He tilts his hand to hold mine and he runs his thumb over my knuckles. "I'm being pulled from all sides right now." He says as he stares at our hands together. I think this is him being open with me. I don't know if I like it. "I need you to be solid right now." He says narrowly.
I nod my head even though I don't understand.
"I'm serious. You have no room for error right now. I can't…" he trails off and shuts his mouth, pulling his hand from mine like he shared more then he wanted too. "I should get back to work. I'll see you when I get home."
I watch him as he stands up and leaves the room. When I know he's out of the house I slump against my chair and close my eyes.
Everything is piling up on me. We won the war. Things are suppose to be easy but they are anything but. My assignments from the Dark Lord are more heinous and closer together, Potter and Weasley are still on the loose, gathering followers and support through out the community. The mudblood servants are becoming restless and retaliating against their proper places. My whole way of life is being threatened. Ginny still hates me and flinches whenever I raise a hand to scratch my face or touch her hair. My son is growing up in a dysfunctional home with a murdering Father.
It makes me groan and it hurts my head. I can feel myself on the edge and my explosive temper will crack any moment. I feel sorry for the person who is near me when I finally fall.
"I'm going home." I announce as I walk past Joel and out of my office. With so much stuff going on in my life right now doing paper work seems ridiculous.
He chases after me, yelling something about a meeting but I wave my hand and tell him to handle it. I Apparate home for the second time of the day and sigh before walking through the door. I go to my office to make myself a drink and I nearly kill the house-elf when it pops into the room.
"Did I say you could come in?" I ask hatefully as it nervously bows and tugs on it's long ears.
"Does Master not want Dilly's report right now, sir?"
He's the one that follows Ginny around for me. His reports are boring and usually nothing exciting happens at all. I loosen my tie and plop down on my desk chair, putting my feet up on the table. I almost tell him to forget about it but for some reason I don't. I make a motion with my hand to tell him to get on with it.
"The Mrs. got up at ten today and fed the little master. Then they both went outside and walked around the grounds—"
"Do you have anything worthwhile to tell me?" I cut it off, not wanting to hear about everything Ginny did today. It's starts to wring its bony fingers together and it's eyes shift around the room like it's in trouble. That gets my attention. "What is it?' I ask as I drop my feet and sit up straight.
"The Mrs. broke one of Master's rules today."
"She did?" I narrow my eyes and finish my glass. I go to make myself another one. "What did she do?"
It gulps and starts chewing on it's knobby knuckles. "While the Mrs. was in the stable… she… she talked to one of the stable boys." It squeaks out.
I sit back down in my chair and tap my fingers against my lips. "When did this happen?" He tells me the time and I feel my temper flare. That little bitch lied to me today. I empty another glass and go for another. She knew how angry I've been lately, she knew how stressed. "Tell me what was said." I say flatly with my back to it as I stare out the window.
When it recites the whole conversation to me I feel this darkness inside of me. The elf used descriptive words like warm, nice, handsome, friendly, happy. They didn't help at all. I push it to the side as I stomp out of the room and out of the house. When I reach the stables I look for that disgusting servant with a blind anger. All of my stress and anger is about to be relieved.
He's younger then me and shorter. When I start to tell him calmly what I plan to do he pees his pants and begs me not to. I don't laugh, it's not funny. Not only is this for what happened with my wife earlier, but it's also for all those stupid servants who think that just because Harry Potter is still alive that it gives them any hope. I make one of the other mudbloods do it. You can make the oppressed an oppressor if you apply the right pressure and the guy I chose was ruthless in his task.
I watch as it happens and barely even bat an eyelash. Whenever things like this happen I feel detached, like I'm not even in the room, like I'm not even alive. Just a cold statue observing what's around me. The gurgled screams filters into my detached ears and I watch for one more moment as the man I chose to do the deed throws the kids tongue in the fire, making him watch.
When I go back to my study I down two more glasses of alcohol and then order Ginny to come to me. I'm looking out the window with my hands in my pockets when she knocks on the door.
"Come in." I say flatly. I crack my neck as the door opens. Didn't I just tell her last night that she wasn't allowed to break that rule? Didn't she lie to me today? I can't stand her, I can't trust her, and I refuse to let her go. "Close the door." I say when she steps in.
"You're back early." She says lightly, not knowing how much I want to kill her right now. I hear the door click shut and I clench my fists inside of my pockets.
"You lied to me." I say with my back still towards her.
There's silence and I know she's chewing her lip and shifting from side to side. "No, I didn't…"
That doesn't help her situation. "You're lying again. If you just want to keep digging yourself into this hole then I suggest you get a shovel."
"Shut up." I turn around and face her, cutting off what she was about to say by a hateful glare that she looks away from. "You try to act all sweet and innocent but you're nothing but a manipulative whore."
Those words hurt her, I know they do and that's why I said them. I hate that confused pained look on her face. She should know why I'm upset. She should know this is all her fault.
"I'm sorry if I upset you, Draco." She says softly and it upsets me. She doesn't even know why she's apologizing. Sometimes I feel bad for her, like she really doesn't know how to handle me. But that's her problem not mine. "I don't know what I did."
She's lying to me. She is lying right to my face. I take slow steps towards her and she looks away again, trying desperately not to make eye contact with me. I fist my hand in her hair and she whimpers. I pull so she has to look at me. Her eyes begin to water and her face is flushed. I've caught her off guard.
She deserves it.
"Slut." I say, just to make her feel bad, just to hurt her feelings. It works. She's more sensitive then any woman should be.
"Did you really think I wouldn't notice?" I ask calmly as a frightened look enters her eyes.
I twist my hand in her hair when she doesn't answer. She whimpers and says, "Please." She winces and bites her lip in pain.
Her ignorance upsets me more then anything.
"Would you like to tell me what you were doing talking to that disgusting mudblood?"
My eyes are burning into hers wishing I could read her thoughts but I've never been very good at that….
The short and final chapter to this... I hope you enjoyed. Now go read I'm yours again.