Title: Is You Is, Or Is You Ain't My Baby?
Rating: PG
Plot: Is you is or is you ain't my baby? The way you're actin' lately makes me doubt you is still my baby-baby! Seems my flame in your heart's done gone out...

Author's Note: The song was stuck in my head.


"I knew it," the Joker said suddenly and turned with a stubborn pout. Harley went to touch him but he moved away dramatically, holding his hand out to put a space between them while the other rested on his forehead, massaging it. "Don't worry about it, ol' Harley-girl! I'll do it... Even if they put me in," he sucked in a breath, letting his face twist into a visage of disgust, "orange."

Harley's own gloved hand came up to her mouth and she began to chew on the tips of her fingers through it. She could hear the sirens off in the distance and her eyes darted to their getaway car, which was completely destroyed; smoke hissed out from under the hood, and one of their hubcaps that belonged to a rear tire spun and wobbled to a fall on the pavement. There was no way they were going to grab a miracle to get that running again.

As of current, they were eagerly being hunted by the Gotham police for: four counts of arson, six attempted murders, robbery, resisting arrest, possession of a deadly weapon and possession of a monkey, stolen from the Gotham City Zoo, which was now lost somewhere in the city... Harley still wasn't clear what the monkey had to do with anything. She wasn't really sure that it did, but he said that it was essential, so what was she to do about it?

The hideout was only a few blocks away from where they stood. It wasn't needed for one of them to play decoy. If they ran, and didn't trip over their own feet, they could make it to a safe house he had set up a year or so ago with enough time for Gotham's harbour to take over their scents and lose the dogs. Why didn't the Joker see that?

"But boss," she began to stammer but was cut off again.

"No, it's fine. Really," he said straightening up himself and giving his jacket a quick tug as he sniffed. "I see now that you are a true moll now. Just a gangster's girl, only there for the glitz and glam." He turned to her stiffly but with his usual plastered on smile and held out his hand for her to shake. "I hope you enjoyed dinner last night, you looked B-E-A-utiful in your new dress. I'll see you in a couple of months."

Harley's eyes grew wider and began to dart around feverishly as she looked at the ground, the car, the street light, the alley – anything that wasn't the grinning man in front of her.

"I understand that parking is hard to find up town – especially near Il Bel Giardino," the Joker said tenderly, though his eyes and smile took a different tone when she finally gained the courage to look up at him again. "I'm not angry that you were late." He let the last word drip off his tongue like acid.

"I'm not just a moll," Harley squeaked, her lip quivering.

"Aww," he crooned, opening his arms to her and pulled her into her into his chest. Her head rested comfortably there as he stroked her hair. "I used to think that. But the way you've been actin lately, pumpkin pie...makes me doubt. Seems like our flame has dun gone out."

"It hasn't," Harley pleaded with him, closing her eyes tightly and shaking her head, enjoying ad dreading the closeness of their bodies. "I swear. I'm the one for you, Mistah J. I'm not just some crazy gal off the streets lookin' for a gun fight!"

The Joker let go of her and looked down into her blue eyes before bending down and kissing her gently.

"I wish I could be sure of that," he said sadly before turning and walking away.

His wingtips clipped and clopped quietly as he slowly made his way down the dark alleyway, leaving Harley staring on after him. There was a pause as he waited and continued walking before the sound of the sudden patter of her feet running off in the opposite direction filled the air. She was running in the police's direction.

The fit of laughter that he had been keeping in finally erupted in a Tommy-gun of howls and hoots. When he began to come down after reaching the climax of his fit, he wiped the tears from his face that had been pooling up as he mused to himself, "that's my baby."

He quickly turned heel and ran.