Wow. I surprise myself! Two stories in one day!
Me: Oh, thanks, Pops. Could you do the disclaimer?
Popuri: AmethystPrincess93 doesn't own Harvest Moon. On with the story!
Me: Oh, and this is in response to a challenge on the Scarlet Sky's forum.
It was a funny thought, really.
Popuri would laugh whenever she thought of it.
Lilia would giggle whenever the thought struck her.
The story had rendered everyone speechless, yes, including Manna.
Even Kappa had started crying with laughter when Anna, back from her typical Monday walk, had told him the story. And he was Kappa.
What was the story, you ask?
Well, Claire had been doing her typical business around the beach, gathering grasses, fishing…
She was trying to get a particularly hard one that was stuck behind a rock when she heard footsteps entering the beach. Remembering her ninja training, she ducked quickly behind said rock (and nearly broke her skull along the way, but that's another story…) and stealthily hid.
She narrowed her eyes, trying to see the intruder…but wait! Were those…glasses?
Could it be Mary? Claire had thought, knowing that Rick would have nothing to do with this particular beach.
Boy was she ever wrong.
Now Claire liked to think of herself as a very smart and practical person, and being thought of by one's self as a smart and practical person meant that you HATED making mistakes.
Which was just like Claire.
Which was why, when Rick entered the beach, Claire nearly blew her cover (and her top).
Still, she was still good, sensible (cough Mary Sue cough) Claire, so she followed Rick to wherever he was going.
Which was the Snack Shack.
Which might just as well be the last place on Earth Rick would be.
Claire doubted that any of the villagers would believe this story without proof, so using her ninja skills, she got out of the beach easily. She ninja-ed back home, grabbed her digital camera, and ninja-ed back to the beach.
By the time she got back, Rick had quietly reached the Snack Shack and stealthily knocked on the door.
And the last person that Claire expected Rick to talk to greeted him. Said person looked cautiously around, the wind almost blowing off his purple bandana.
"Rick," he greeted carefully. "Come in. Come in."
Rick nodded and entered it, carefully closing the door behind him.
Claire ninja-ed to the door, and almost broke her skull (again – but this time it was by almost crashing into the door) and sneakily got in. She ninja-ed to the back room, where she hid somewhere. Don't ask me where – she just hid, okay?
Kai nodded sincerely at the chicken farmer. "No one knows you're here?" he asked.
Rick shook his head. "Popuri and Mom think I went to the clinic to get more medicine," he said. Claire took out her spy notebook and began taking notes.
"Good," the traveler nodded.
"And the cover-up is still working, I see," Rick observed.
"Yep," Kai nodded. "Everyone thinks you still hate me."
"Okay," Rick added. "Let's get this party started!" he cried, kissing Kai on the cheek.
"Oh. My. Gosh." Claire whispered, taking down more notes. She turned off the flash on her camera and began taking pictures.
Kai gave a squeal of delight and hugged Rick back. "Oh, joy," he squealed. Claire frowned and decided to go back to town for the reinforcements.
So she ninja-ed back to town, and getting back said reinforcements, ninja-ed back to the beach.
Rick gave Kai another kiss, this time, however, it was full-blown and on the lips.
Kai gave a fangirlish squeal and glomped his lover.
Claire was motioning to her reinforcement squad, telling them to come closer.
But they could not be prepared for what Kai said next.
"Let's do something on the bed!"
"Oh. My. Gosh." Claire said again, but observed closely. Rick nodded and began unbuckling his overalls – then Claire decided to take action.
Rick and Kai would never be as surprised again.
Kai was just taking off his vest when Claire appeared before the two of them, holding up a badge, her blonde hair flying, and almost all of Mineral Town behind her.
"Claire Willowson, Vice-President of the WWAAG," she said in an official-looking voice – not very comfortable-looking on a "farmer." "I've been working undercover for three years with my subordinates," she nods, pointing at the Mineral Town population, who nod. "Trying to dig up the people I've been looking for."
"Er…what does WWAFAG mean, exactly?" Rick asked timidly.
"Oh, nothing, brother," Popuri said, smiling. "It's just the World-Wide Association for Arrest of Gays, which I am proud to be an admin of," she added. "Oh, and Kai?" she adds, winking. "Me liking you was just a cover-up. I was helping Ms. Willowson over there find out the gay."
"Exactly, Miss Popuri," Claire (or should I say Miss Willowson) said. "The both of you are both under legal arrest for being gays."
Rick protested, "But only one of us can be gay!" but he is ignored as Anna and Sasha put handcuffs on him and Kai.
"We were just doing something," Kai sobs.
"Sure, and you think Mineral Town was to dumb to fall for your cover-up, Kai?" Gray scoffs. He looks at Cliff and Trent, who burst into laughter.
Kai frowns, and then asks one more question. "Miss Claire," he adds, but under a glare from Gotz quickly says, "Miss Willowson."
"Yes?" Claire poshly replies, turning around in her typical Mary Sue way.
"I-if you're the vice-president, who's the president?"
Good question, Rick thinks after Sasha finally manages to lock the handcuffs of her daughter's boyfriend (which was of course also just a cover-up) with some difficulty.
As if in answer to his question, a shower of sparkles appears and the Harvest Goddess appears with a "Ta-daa!"
"Sorry I'm late," she smiles at her subordinates. "I trust Miss Willowson took care of everything?"
Everyone nods. Claire Willowson salutes the Goddess. Said Goddess turns to the two prisoners. "Harvest Goddess, President of the WWAAG," she says, showing off her badge. "Now," she adds, putting an evil grin on her face. "Which one of you is the gay?"
It was later revealed that everything Marvelous Interactive had told Natsume to translate was just a clever cover-up for what they were REALLY hiding. Either Rick or Kai is a gay, Claire Willowson is the Vice-President of the WWAAG, Jack (the poor guy isn't mentioned in this story – poor guy) is her loyal slave, and you know the rest.
Rick and Kai were sent to the WWAAG Headquarters, where they were sent to the WWAAG prison center. Of course, since Claire was a Mary Sue, she took pity on the two and allowed them to share a cell. Rick and Kai are currently planning a devious scheme for the two of them to escape and live happily ever after with each other. Without the WWAAG on their tail, of course.
Now that all of that was cleared up, Mineral Town resumed their tranquil life minus Rick and Kai. Popuri decided to become a scholar and Lilia then employed Karen to help her run their farm. Claire left Mineral Town to search for even MORE gays, where she then stumbled upon Jamie from Flower Bud and carted him off to Headquarters.
"The end!" Mary happily cried, closing the book. She noticed that all of Mineral Town was giggling. Her co-author, AmethystPrincess, laughed.
"Did you like it?" she asked.
"Like it?" Ann giggled. "Did we ever! To think that we're all secret agents!"
"That was the BEST story I have ever read," Manna laughed, wiping tears from her eyes. "Of course, I used to be a famous book critic and then I got pregnant with Aja so I blame the whole thing on…"
"Never mind!" Lilia laughs, narrowly stopping Duke from getting mad. "That was hilarious!"
"Yep!" Claire giggled. "And Jack is my slave and either Kai or Rick is gay! That CAN'T be true!" She turned to Jack. "Get me some chocolate éclairs, slave." And Jack obediently dashed off to prepare some delicious desserts for his mistress.
Karen snuggles against Rick, pleased that it isn't a cover-up. She laughs.
AmethystPrincess laughed again. "The End!" she says. "Again."
Me: Soooo, how'd you like it?
Jamie: I can't believe you think I'm gay.
Me: You never tell me if you're a guy or a girl. I have to guess, you know.
Jamie: I'm a guy. Learn it.
Me: Oh. Thanks! Well, please review, guys!