A/N: I'm posting it. Yay me. We took down the first part because um...well, we were freaky pre-pubescent girls. This is much better. We don't own those movies. Unfortunately Jerry Bruckheimer does.

Caribbean Vacation, AKA What Happened After the 1st Movie

So after a few days aboard the Black Pearl, Kelsey and I had managed to find appropriate pirate-y garb! We won't go into too much detail, but I will say we both were sexy biznitches. Since we are.

"Yeah, we're hot." Kelsey said as she twirled a blonde strand of hair around her finger. She wasn't doing anything that could be construed as helpful (as per usual) but her just being around Jack gave him some 'motivation'. We were currently lounging around below deck since no one wanted us underfoot. Their loss, our gain of free time.

"Damn straight." I replied absently as I put my feet up in my hammock. "I can't wait until the guys can see these outfits." I grinned smugly. "Will's jaw will go straight through the deck."

"He's not used to your kind of woman, dearey."


"So... Now what?" Kelsey asked. "I'm bored."

"Me too. Wanna go bug the crew?"

"I thought you'd never ask." She grinned wickedly as she rubbed her hands together evilly. "I am evil after all."

So we headed up on deck and blinked as the Caribbean sun blinded us momentarily. "It burns us!" I hissed.

"Wrong movie, Mar."

"Sorry." I muttered. When I could see again, I made a beeline for a certain pirate named William Turner. Kelsey in turn scouted out her beloved Captain Jack Sparrow.

As the Black Pearl was in desperate need of repairs after being involved in numerous sea skirmishes, every hand that knew what they were doing was needed. That didn't include us n00bs. Will was currently sharpening the swords of all the crew members. Jack had insisted every blade be ready to stick the pointy end in other people. I hovered behind him, standing on tiptoe to stare over his bent-over shoulder. I let out a dreamy sigh and he jumped nearly a foot in the air.

"Bloody-!" He shouted before turning around and blinking. "Oh. Hello Mary." Before I even had the chance to reply, his eyes had already widened at my new choice of wardrobe. "Uhhhh..."

"I take it you like my new clothes?" I raised an eyebrow amusedly. His eyes were currently scanning my body in that way only horny men can. Oh yeah, this was worth it.

He swallowed. "Yes. Yes, you look lovely." Will managed to whisper.

Oh, this was rich. I winked broadly at him, kissed his cheek then wandered off. I swung my hips intentionally since I could still feel his eyes on me. "Thanks love!" I called over my shoulder.

Kelsey skipped merrily over to where Jack was steering the ship. She threw her arms around him and called, "Hello!" He didn't seem phased by this random act of affection, but continued steering.

"'Ello love. What're you doing?"

"Hugging." She said matter-of-factly. "I'm hugging."

Jack rolled his kohl-lined eyes. "I could've figured that me-self." He did grin however. "What, my fair lady, is the occasion?"

"No reason." Kelsey beamed. Jack still hadn't turned around yet, and she wasn't about to leave until he did.

When she didn't let go after another 3 minutes, Jack kept one hand on the wheel and turned around. "Alright love, what be the meanin' of-" He stopped his sentence in its tracks when he saw her new outfit.

"What?" she asked innocently.

He opened his mouth a few times, but no words came out. Finally he managed, "Nice outfit."

"Thanks, Jack!" She grinned and twirled as she went on her merry way. Jack looked extremely pleased when he got his mind back on steering the ship.

When she made her way back to me, she just shook her head, smiling, "Men are so predictable. I think Will is still reeling."

I laughed, and glanced at the aforementioned person, who was trying his best not to stare at me. I waved, a really dorky grin plastered on my face.

Will blushed, and looked back down at the swords he was 'working' on.

"Maybe there's a reason they put us below deck." Kelsey remarked.

"We're a little bit of a distraction." I agreed.

"A little?"

"OK, maybe a lot." I admitted, "Well, we've done our damage of the day."

I looked back one more time at Will, who nearly crushed his finger with the hammer when he saw me staring.

"Yeah, that's mine." I said, rolling my eyes, "He's my bitch."

"Don't let him hear that. He might have a coronary."

"Oh, shut up. You think he's a wimp, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do."

I narrowed my eyes at her, "He's a sexy beast. In the sack."

"How would you know?" she retorted.

"I don't. But I assume he is!" I said, flustered.

"'Kay..." she said, "Wow."

"Like you don't fantasize about Jack in your bed."

"Hmph. I already know the truth about it."

"What are you suggesting?" I shot at her.

"I'm not suggesting anything. I'm just implying that you and Will are prudes." Kelsey said, trying to contain her laughter.

"Yeah?" I glared beadily, "I don't see you making the beast with two backs with the Captain. GO OTHELLO!"

The random pirate midget named Marty walked by, and then chose to ignore us.

"Yeah, yeah, well..."

"I see you have no clever come-back for my awesomeness." I said, smirking.

"I wouldn't say it was that." She said.

"Uh huh. Right." I drawled, "You're a hypocrite."

"I am not!"

"Yeah, you are."

"Well. Maybe." She mumbled.

"Now that we have this argument settled, let's go back below deck, since we aren't really doing anything productive." I said, going down the stairs.

"Do we ever do anything productive?"

We both laughed.

"Wanna go help the cook? We could make fruit salad again!" I exclaimed excitedly.

"We must keep this crew scurvy-free!" Kelsey agreed.

So we scampered back below where we proceeded to get underfoot in the galley when attempting to make fruit salad. The cook wasn't pleased that we were getting in his way but grudgingly let us stay since Kelsey was kind of the Captain's wench, and I was the wench of the first-mate. We owned his ass.

In the end we made quite a lovely dish of fruit salad for dinner and when it was time to eat, the crew was baffled by the presence of bright colors in their food. Even after Jack and Will both dug in enthusiastically, the crew was still hesitant.

"EAT IT DAMMIT!" I shouted, pounding my small fist down on the table to produce a very loud thump. Needless to say, they all had clean plates in a very short amount of time. What can I say? I'm very maternal. And persuasive. And violent. The combination of all three is quite deadly.

After dinner was over, the crew meandered off to do whatever it was that they did usually. I don't know or really care what that was, so deal with it. I wanted to go talk to Will, but he was conspicuously absent. Hmm. I would have gone to look for him, but my magpie sized attention span decided I wanted to go see what kind of shiny things they had below deck. Yay for pirate swag! Oh ah. Kelsey decided to join me, because she too enjoyed shiny objects.

Meanwhile, Will started to ascend the stairs to the upper deck, but a hand grabbed his collar, "Will?"

"What?" he turned and saw Jack behind him, "Oh. It's you. What do you want?"

"Well, I have something I need to talk to you about." Jack said, beginning to drag the younger man behind him by the collar.

"You can't just ask me to come with you?" Will asked, "And you're choking me!"

"Not my fault." Jack said dismissively, "Step into me office."

"Do I have a choice?" Will said dryly.

"No, not really." Jack said with a shrug, "And it's really all your fault you're getting dragged in here, anyway."

"What did I do?"

"Really, mate, it's a question of what you didn't do." Jack said.

Will stared blankly, looking very confused, "Um...alright..."