PSManiac appeared and held a microphone to his mouth.
"It is here!" he yelled, "This is PSManiac reporting live from the streets of Zeropolis, where the final chapter of Crash: Multiverse Mishap will be
broadcast. You have watched our heroes and villains in their adventures through the mysterious 0th Dimenion. Here, on 0th Plaza, the battle
against the Nitro Tangler will be shown on these overly huge screens. Thanks to all who suggested and I only own the stuff I created myself. The
countdown to Chapter Eighteen: N. Tangled is about to start. Count down with us! Five! Four! Three! Two! Two and a half! Two and three
quarters! Two and seven eighths! …Where are those guys? Where are the 'Get on with it' guys?"
A random technical assistant guy walked up and said, "Yeah, they're sick."
"Sick?" I ask, "How can they be sick? They're text on a page of Microsoft Word."
The assistant shrugged and asked, "Computer virus, maybe?"
PSManiac frowned and said, "Okay, then we just have to do another Monty Python joke."
"Can't someone else yell 'Get on with it'?"
"It isn't the same!"
"Hmm…" PSManiac pondered, "Let's bring out the Spanish Inquisition."
Then three guys in red hoods slid into sight and sang, "The Inquisition… What a show! The Inquisition…"
"No, not you guys," PSManiac said, "The Monty Python one."
"Aw man!" One of them said as they trudged away.
PSManiac looked around and said, "I never expected the Spanish Inquisition to be so late."
Suddenly, Monty Python's Spanish Inquisition ran into view.
"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" their leader yelled.
"Okay," PSManiac said, "That's enough, on with the show. Enjoy!"
The Inquisition's leader looked at PSManiac and said, "But we just got…"
Chapter Eighteen: N. Tangled
Chapter Eighteen: N. Tangled
After that moment of Monty Python-related humor, we head to the action where our heroes were rushing to the N. Tangler for battle.
"We need to take down its weapons first!" Aku Aku called, "So we can make it less powerful and dangerous!"
"Okay, brother," Uka Uka said, "Let's kick the chlorophyll out of this guy!"
Uka Uka formed body of stone and rushed towards the lower head of the N. Tangler.
"Hey ugly!" Uka called, getting the attention of the rhino-like head, "Eat my stony fists!"
Uka ran up and punched the head cross the face. The head roared and knocked Uka over with its horn.
Uka stood up and yelled to his allies, "Don't stand there like a floor lamp, go and disable the rest of its weapons!"
Everyone else nodded and scaled the creature. They reached the back of the rhinoceros part of the N. Tangler, when a cannon made out of wood
appeared from beneath the moss and aimed itself at the heroes. Billy Bob aimed his musket.
"Y'all better go," he said, "I hold this here thing off."
The eight remaining heroes continued their climb up the plant monster. They reached another platform, where a huge, tree-like creature waited. It
snarled and readied itself.
"I'll handle this," Tropy said, "Tell Cortex… I hate him."
"I'm right here," Cortex said.
"Just go!" Tropy ordered.
Everyone continued climbing as Tropy faced the tree creature. He unsheathed his weapon.
"Well," Tropy said to his weapon, "It's time for a big fight my dear stick… I mean scepter… I mean… Oh, whatever!"
He fired a bolt of energy at the tree creature.
Meanwhile, the remaining heroes climbed to yet another platform.
"What is with all these platforms?" Cortex asked.
A large mass of vines appeared from the hide of the creature.
"I'll take care of this!" Crunch declared, readying his arm cannon.
"Can I help?" N. Gin asked.
"PSManiac is running out of ideas for mini-bosses."
"Ah, I see."
And so, only Crash, Cortex, Coco, Nina, and Aku Aku were left to scale the monster. They reached a platform that was situated in front of the N.
Tangler's lower arms. The two claws snapped viciously. Nina pounded her fists together.
"I'll will be the one to give this guy a lesson courtesy of the Nina School of Pain and Suffering," Nina said.
"Okay," Cortex said as he hugged Nina, "My little girl is about to beat something senseless. They grow up so fast."
"Uncle Cortex," Nina whined, "Not in front of the bandicoots. You're so embarrassing."
"Sorry," Cortex said, backing away.
They continued to climb as Nina faced the claws.
"Prepare to meet my two best friends," Nina said.
She held up her left fist.
"Ms. Pain…," She said, and she held up her right fist. "…and Janice."
She lunged at the claws.
Crash, Coco, Cortex, and Aku Aku continued their climb.
"What weapons are left?" Coco asked.
"There's the black power gem and the three flytrap heads," Cortex answered, "You and Aku Aku will hander the two smaller heads and I'll handle
the black power gem, which leaves Crash with the main head."
"Are you up to it Crash?" Aku asked the heroic bandicoot.
Crash nodded, with a determined look on his face.
"Alright!" Cortex cheered, "Let's hit him where it hurts, in the eyes!"
"Does this thing even have eyes?" Coco asked.
"Who cares? Let's just beat this thing and go home."
They climbed to their targets.
Coco leapt up to the head on the right shoulder. It hissed when it noticed Coco. The female bandicoot struck a karate pose.
In front of the head on the left shoulder, Aku formed a body out of stone and faced the giant flytrap head. The head roared as Aku Aku held his
fists up, preparing for battle.
Meanwhile, Cortex crawled into the chest of the creature. He could see that the entire inside of the N. Tangler's chest was hollow. The rest was
"How big is this thing?" Cortex asked.
He turned his gaze upwards and saw the black gem, about twenty feet above him. It was tangled in many vines that were protruding from the
walls of the creature. Bolts of black lightning zipped down each of the vines.
"This should be easy," he said, "I just have to blast the vines and free the power gem."
Suddenly, several of the vines surrounding the gem began to ravel themselves into two, huge hands with clawed fingers. An oval-shaped face of
wood floated in front of the gem. The face had no facial features except for two eyes of swirling, pitch black energy.
"Oh, nuts," Cortex said.
Back outside the creature, Crash climbed up to the main head of the N. Tangler. This head was the largest, and probably the deadliest, of the
three heads. The enormous flytrap head smirked at the bandicoot, the same smirk N. Tangle wore under his helmet. Crash stared up at the
creature's main head as it prepared to fight. Crash clenched his fists and walked up to the flytrap head. The head chuckled and lashed out at
Crash with its teeth. Crash flipped backwards to avoid the attack and spun the creature's scalp. But, the N. Tangler's hide was too tough for the
bandicoot's spin to even make it flinch. It tried to gnash out at the bandicoot, who flipped backwards again and again to avoid the attacks. Then,
the creature's tongue whipped out and knocked the bandicoot aside. Crash shakily stood up as the main head chuckled again. Then, Crash did
something that everyone thought would be impossible to him. He made a plan. I know, it's a big shocker. Crash, with his newly formulated plan,
ran up to the N. Tangler and leapt into its mouth. No, readers, he didn't commit suicide. He landed on the floor of the N. Tangler's mouth and
observed his surroundings. The mouth was made completely out of wood, vines, and leaves. Floating in midair in the center of the mouth was a
swirling sphere of plant matter. With the Psychetron arms orbiting them. Two glowing, yellow eyes appeared in front of the ball of plants.
"Well," said the ball, who was obviously N. Tangle, "If it isn't the famous Crash Bandicoot. I bet you're here to defeat me and my almighty new
form. Well, you're not here for that, you're here to die."
Crash scowled at the sphere.
"Let's get on with it, shall we?" N. Tangle asked, "I have an infinite amount of universes to conquer, you know."
The sphere and Psychetron arms began to twist and turn, forming a new creature. Crash took a few steps back as the creature stood to its full
height. The creatures looked like Moss Face, but with metal plates and wires covering some sections of its body. Its two yellow eyes, one of which
was robotic, looked down at Crash.
"I present to you a creature of mighty power," the creature said in N. Tangle's voice, "A creature so formidable, it would make even the greatest
of heroes faint in fear. I bring to you, Metal Face!"
N. Tangle, now Metal Face, roared ferociously. Crash gulped.
Uka Uka smashed his fist into the side of the plant rhino's face. The rhino swung its horn at the evil mask, but Uka Uka just leapt out of the way.
"You like to play rough, do you?" he asked, "Well, me too!"
Uka Uka attacked the rhino head with a right hook, left hook, and finished it off with an uppercut. The nostrils of the rhino flared angrily. It
launched several thorns at Uka Uka. Uka avoid almost all of them, but one stabbed Uka's stone body in the left shoulder. The mask winced in pain
as the boulders that made his body deteriorated.
"Anti-magic thorns," Uka said, "Smart, but not smart enough!"
Uka Uka charged at the rhino head and shot a fireball. The head went up in ablaze. Soon, the rhino head collapsed.
"Hmm," Uka Uka said, "Why didn't I think of that before?"
Billy Bob jumped over a blast of a thorn-covered cannonball made out of wood. He ducked under another blast and shot the cannons. It
shuddered and continued firing.
"This thingy is mighty tough," Billy Bob stated to himself, "I better get to using that there brain of mine."
Billy Bob paused and shrugged a few moments later.
"Well, it's a lost cause n' all."
Billy Bob aimed his musket. The wooden cannon fired, and its cannonball became stuck in the barrel of Billy Bob's musket. Billy Bob fired, and the
cannon ball flew into the barrel of the wooden cannon. It tried to fire, but nothing happen except the cannon exploding.
"Wow!" Billy Bob cheered, "I told pa that I can save all those there universes without usin' mah head."
Tropy blasted the tree again. The tee's branches shot out towards Tropy, but the time scientist ducked and whacked them with his stick…
"It's a… aw, forget about it!"
The branced reared back and rushed towards Tropy again. Tropy got hit in the chest and lifted upwards. With all his strength, Tropy stabbed the
tree monster with his fork. Orange time energy flowed through the wooden creature. It soon dissolved into dust and Tropy fell to the floor. The
time scientist slowly stood up and smiled.
"It's all too easy."
Crunch and N. Gin stared down the squirming vines.
"You guys are so wilted!" N. Gin declared, "Thanks to my new weapon."
N. Gin hauled out of nowhere a huge cannon three times his size.
"Are you sure this will work?' Crunch asked.
"Of course it will work!" N. Gin yelled.
N. Gin pulled the trigger, and a huge, shining, blue beam of death flew out from the barrel of the weapon and… missed by several hundred feet.
Also, the force of the blast was so powerful that it sent N. Gin zipping away from the creature and all over the place, still holding onto the
weapon. Crunch sighed and shook his head.
"I guess it's up to me," he said.
He fired several shot at the vines with his arm cannon. The vines whipped Crunch across the face. The bionic bandicoot rubbed the cheek where
the vines attack him. He began to throw punches left and right, but the vines grabbed him by the ankles the dangled him upside down.
"Uh oh," Crunch said.
The vines were about to attack when N. Gin and his cannon crashed into the vines and exploded. N. Gin crawled out from the wreckage, heavily
charred and covered in soot.
N. Gin coughed and said, "That was… awesome!"
He then fainted on the spot.
Nina shifted left and right to avoid the punched of the claws. She punched one of the claws, creating a crack in its surface. She smiled evilly.
"Oh, yeah," she said, "My fists of doom shall crush all of you to tiny pieces."
The claws tried to snap at her, but she backed away and punched them again. They claws then swung at her and knocked Nina off the platform.
She screamed, but got an idea. She extended her arm and grabbed the edge of the platform. She leapt up, surprising the claws, and punched
them into dust.
"Woohoo!" she cheered as she started dancing, "Go Nina! Go Nina! It's your birthday! It's your…"
She stopped suddenly and shook her hand.
"I have to stop hanging around my uncle so much," she said to herself, "I'm even starting to celebrate like him."
The giant flytrap head hissed as Coco avoided the thorns it fired at her. She leapt up and kicked one of the thorns as it flew through the air. The
thorn hit the flytrap in the head. It growled and lashed out at Coco, knocking her back. Coco slowly stood up.
"Alright, that's it," she said.
Coco ran up and rapidly kicked the flytrap head across the face several times. It finally withered and died.
"Yes!" Coco cheered, "I knew those kung-fu classes would come in handy."
Aku Aku, with his stone body, ran up and punched the flytrap head with a right hook and an uppercut. The flytrap head snarled and opened its
mouth. Two vine-like tentacle emerged from its mouth and whacked Aku in the chest, making the mask slide backwards. Aku Aku shook his head
quickly and glared angrily at the flytrap head.
"You are messing with the wrong witch doctor," Aku Aku said.
He charged at the flytrap as it sent its vines at its foe. Aku leapt over the vines, created a large boulder in his hands, and pounded the boulder
into the flytrap's head. Aku stood up and dusted himself off.
"I love my posthumous life."
Cortex looked up at the huge creature.
"Okay, Cortex," Cortex whispered to himself, "You can do this. You just have to beat this guy… alone… with no backup… I'm going to die, aren't I?"
The creature sent its vines at Cortex, who yelped and blasted the vines out of the way. The vine creature roared and shot black lasers at the
scientist. Cortex ran from the lasers and began blasting the monster's right hand. That hand of vines disintegrated under the shock of the blasts.
The creature sent its remaining fist towards Cortex. The punch connected, and Cortex was thrown back. He stood up, his head pounding.
"My poor, aching head," he moaned, massaging his forehead.
The monster roared.
"Oh, would you just keep quiet for one moment?" Cortex asked, annoyed.
The creature hissed and threw its fist at Cortex. The mad scientist groaned in frustration, lifted his laser blasted, and shot the fist. It disintegrated
from the blast of green plasma. The vine creature was furious now. It charged a laser blast and fired. Cortex rolled out of the way and blasted the
creature's head. It, too, dissolved and the gem was free.
"Yes!" Cortex cheered.
The gem dropped into the pit.
"No!" he exclaimed.
He dove into the pit after the gem. Then he realized his mistake.
"Hang on," he said, "Gravity plus bottomless pit plus me times the square root of pi divided by the cubed value of me plus mortality equals…"
He whipped out a calculator and typed down some numbers and hit "Enter."
"It equals 'Ouch'," he read from the calculator's screen, "Well, what do you know?"
He screamed as he fell, but remembered something.
"Aha!" he exclaimed, "I forgot I had these boots on!"
He clicked his heels together, and two jets appeared on the soles of his boots and activated. The jets slowed Cortex down and safely landed him
on the floor of the pit.
"I didn't get injured this time!" he cheered.
Then the black gem fell onto Cortex's head and knocked him out.
Outside, all the heroes except (for Crash and Cortex) waited for the two remaining protagonists to arrive.
"I don't get it," Coco said, "Crash and Cortex should be here by now. Crash usually beats a final boss in less time. Where are they?"
Back in the mouth of the N. Tangler, Crash and Metal Face were still brawling.
"You cannot possibly win, bandicoot!" Metal Face called as he threw Crash against a wall, "The unity of plants and technology is too great for you
He sent a punch at Crash, but the heroic bandicoot leapt into the air and kicked Metal Face in the… metal… face? Metal Face stumbled back and
shook his head.
"Very impressive, for ignorant life form," Metal Face told Crash, "I believe it is my turn."
Metal Face ran up and punched Crash across the face. He then kicked the bandicoot in the chest. The force of the kick flung Crash through the air
and towards a wall. Crash stuck his legs out and kicked off of the oncoming wall. This flung the orange mammal towards Metal Face and Crash
punched him in the chin. Metal Face grabbed Crash by the legs and threw him. Crash grabbed onto a wall in mid-flight and landed safely on the
Metal Face aimed his right hand at the marsupial and fired thorns from his fingers. Crash leapt out of the way of the thorns and ran towards Metal
Face. The half plant, half machine creature created a hammer out of wood and metal and whacked Crash with it. Crash skidded across the floor
and slid to a halt. Metal face swung the hammer at Crash again. This time, Crash ducked under the hammer's attack and spun Metal Face in the
gut. Metal Face grabbed Crash by the neck and held him up into the gaze of his glowing yellow eyes.
"I have you now," Metal Face said.
Cortex drowsily woke up in the belly of the beast.
"Ugh," he groaned, "Did anyone catch the number of that bottomless pit… which, apparently, has a bottom."
He looked at the black power gem that was laid beside him, the source of Cortex's recent unconsciousness.
"Stupid, mystic rock!" he yelled in anger as he kicked the gem.
There was a flash of black light, and Cortex found himself in midair once again. He fell into the sand below. He groaned in pain and sat up. He saw
the rest of the heroes (besides Crash) standing in front of him. Tropy was struggling to keep himself from bursting into a laughing fit from Cortex's
"What happened?" Cortex asked.
"The black gem seems to have teleported you here," Aku Aku explained.
"Yeah, I gathered that piece of information," Cortex explained, "Where Crash anyway?"
"He's still fighting N. Tangle, Uncle Cortex," Nina explained, "The N. Tangle covered itself with a protective shield after we destroyed its weapons."
"Hang on here," Billy Bob said, "If that thingy here is the power gem, then what's powerin' that there monster?"
Everyone looked and each other, made a realization, and exclaimed, "The Psychetron Arms!"
Crash struggled to free himself from Metal Face's grip.
"It's not use, bandicoot," Metal Face said, "I am more powerful than you can possibly comprehend! There's nothing to save you now!"
Crash, in hopes of freeing himself from the monster's chokehold, Crash lifted his legs up and kicked Metal Face in the eyes with all of his might.
Metal face screamed in pain and covered his eyes. Free from Metal face's grip, Crash landed on the floor unharmed.
"You meddlesome lower species!" Metal Face roared, "How dare you…"
He never finished his sentence, since Crash tackled Metal Face and both were flung from the N. Tangler. The huge N. Tangler roared and exploded
from its absence of a power source. Metal Face and Crash Bandicoot flew through the air as the ground waited to meet them. Crash closed his
eyes and waited for his body to fall onto the rocks below. But it never came. Crash opened his eyes to see that he was hovering twelve and a
half inches from the ground and was in a blue bubble of energy. This bubble was caused by none other than Doctor Neo Cortex. Cortex safely
lowered Crash onto the ground and deactivated the bubble with his blaster. The bubble disappeared and Crash was unhurt. Coco ran up and
hugged her brother. Crash patted her head and looked and Cortex.
Cortex shrugged and said, "What? I'm you mortal enemy. No one's going to destroy you but me."
Crash was unsure whether or not that was a compliment, but accepted it anyway. The heroes gazed up at the sky as the plants began to float
back to their natural places on the island.
The body of Metal Face shivered behind them, and turned into N. Tangle and the Psychetron arms. N. Tangle slowly stood up and stumbled
towards Crash. He raised his sword above his head and he stumbled closer.
"How dare you," N. Tangled said, "How dare you!"
Coco saw N. Tangle preparing to strike and yelled, "Crash! Look out!"
Crash turned around and saw the blade of N. Tangle's sword swooping towards Crash's head. Suddenly, a beam of light struck N. Tangle's raised
hand, and both the hand and the sword it clutched dissolved into dust. N. Tangle fell to the ground and clutched his arm, screaming in pain.
Everyone looked at Cortex.
"What?' he asked, "Don't look at me? I didn't do that?"
"But I did!" a voice yelled.
Everyone turned to see none other than Hairy Mole standing on a hover pad with a strange-looking blasted in his grasp.
"Anti-Chlorophyll gun," he said, waving the blaster.
"Hairy Mole!" Aku exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"
"Doing what I do best," Hairy Mole answered, "Being evil! Look above at my latest creation!"
Everyone looked upwards.
"A little bit to the left, morons," Hairy instructed.
The heroes turned and saw a gigantic machine hovering several thousand miles up in the sky.
"I recognized that machine," Cortex said, remembering the blueprint he found in Ratsputin's lab, "It's the Dark Matter Engine!"
The Dark Matter engine looked like a huge airplane turbine with what looked like a futuristic city on top. Its huge solar panel wings fanned out like
the wings of an eagle.
"So you know of the Dark Matter Engine?" Hairy Mole asked, "Well, soon the whole world will know, once they find out that it is what brought my
master back to the universes!"
A red beam shot out from the front of the Dark Matter Engine and hit the ground a few feet away from the group. A black portal opened where
the beam rested. Then, a robotic hand shot out of the portal and grabbed the ground surrounding the portal. The metal claw began to pull the
rest of its body out of the portal.
"Hairy Mole's master?" Tropy asked, "Who is this master."
"The one who Hairy Mole works loyally for," Cortex explained, "The one villain whose evilness even surpasses my own."
Four robotic, spider-like legs crawled from the portal and heaved the rest of its body up. This machine had two arms, one of which was carrying a
sword, four spider legs, a black cape and a torso similar to an Omegadroid. But this silvery robot didn't have a head. Instead, it had something
implanted in its chest that swiveled and turned around like a huge eye, the base of the Psychetron.
"Hey dad," Cortex said.
The machine looked at Cortex and laughed an evil, metallic laugh.
"Well, if it isn't my son, one of those that trapped me into an eternal trip through the tunnels of black holes," it said, "And I have seen that you
have brought some friends along, including the bandicoots."
"Now dad," Cortex said, "I know we got off on the wrong foot, but I need you to go back into the black hole."
"I have wasted far more than enough time in that accursed dimension of swirling limbo!" Archie Cortex spat, "What may have been a few weeks
for you was millions of years for me! No more!"
Hundreds of millions of Interdroids began to crawl from the portal. They surrounded the heroes and pointed their lasers at them, leaving them
"Soon I shall rule the universes, and no one shall stop me!" he yelled, "I am no longer Doctor Archie Cortex. I am Professor N. Terdimensional!"
PSManiac: Remember to re…
A huge explosion rocked PSManiac's house. He ran to the window to see what was going on. He was utterly shocked at what he was seeing.
"Well," he said, "This is weird."
Floating islands littered the sky and Interdroids were patrolling the streets, blowing up cars and houses.
"There he is!" an Interdroid yelled, pointing to PSManiac's house. PSManiac grabbed his laptop and ran out of his room and into his backyard. His
room exploded behind him. He leapt over his face and hid inside a trash can. The Interdroids ran past, unnoticing the trash can. PSManiac opened
his laptop and typed onto his Crash Bandicoot forum three words.
"Watch the skies."
CRASH: PSYCHETRON PREDICAMENT