Pretty and Charming
by purpleblush

"So," Stop. Think. "wasn't that fun?"

Groan. "Yeah. Being assaulted in court is sheer elation in my book."

"Hmph. At least you got out alive."

"The suspect was able to hit me twice in that brawl."

"Oh, suck it up Mr. Righteous Attorney. I fixed you up didn't I?"

"If staring at my swollen cheek with those 'concerned eyes' you call and giving me a pat on the back deems fixed, then yeah. You fixed it alright."

"Well then, don't I get a 'thank you' kiss?"

"I can't envision those unfortunate patients surviving under your care. Giving you that license is the biggest mistake the Professional Regulation Commission had ever made."

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Ready to celebrate now?"

"Paying no heed to your problems? Oh, that's really mature of you. What are we rejoicing for?"

"Hey, how about the fact that you're with me? Isn't that enough reason to celebrate?"

"Your logic causes turmoil on my brain, Sakura."

"Are you always this charming or is today a special day, huh Sasuke-kun?"

"What can I say?" Smirk. "You bring out the best in me."

"Ugh. Bartender, Screwdriver, please. And give this handsome young man right beside me something strong. You know, so I can take him home and rape him without any protests later."

Bartender nods and runs away.

"I believe you petrified the poor man. You know, you didn't have to come."

"I know, but it was your first case and I couldn't help myself. It was like… I was more excited than you are. I was itching to be there."

"I have always harbored an admiration for your use of metaphors. It was akin to that instance when you have put my name and 'pretty' in the same context."

"Aw, afraid that a simple word such as 'pretty' may ruin your well-known masculinity?"

"Like how the word disagrees with your violent inclination and nasty language?"

"Oh, low blow, Uchiha."

"I know. That's for your malicious intent on me later."

"Okay, so I must have startled you when you saw me sitting at the back of the room while you turn on your 'I'm-a-freaking-Suma cum laude-during-my-college-days-so-you-better-back-the-hell-off-cause-I'm-gonna'-win-this-no-matter-what' mode. But yeah, I was there. I wanted to be there. You know, for moral support and all that shit. Or maybe I just wanted to see you because you've never showed your face after we… so I was there. Period. And I'm not even going to apologize for it. Ever."

"Tch. Annoying woman. How did you even know where I was? You're not stalking me again, are you?"

"Stalking? No, no. I'm way past that, remember? After being mistakenly identified as a robber, I quit. But still, stalking you is rather, dare I say it, tempting. Stalking helps you get to know a lot about the person you're stalking. Anyway, you see, being childhood friends, neighbors, whatever you call it has certain… advantages. Just one call to your mom and ta-da, I know exactly where you are."

"With this occurrence, I shall tell my mother to conceal you of all the information you need. Lesson learned."

"Aw, planning to make it hard for me to see your pretty face again, are you? Tough luck, I'd go around the world just to get a glimpse of you Mr. Macho."

"Rambling has always been your forte. I think it forever will be. As much as it pains me to say this, I take pleasure in our conversation. And just for the record, I was… glad you were there."

"And the truth comes out. You thankful you got that out of your chest?"

"Hold it, we're not drunk yet."

"Right. I forgot that there was a standard procedure to spout potentially unsuitable proclamation. In the mean time, let's get the dull small-talk out of the way first. So, how's the wife and kids?"

"Nonexistent, thank you very much, but I'm only twenty-seven and have a lot of time finding the right female who would be delightful and more than enthusiastic to lend me the use of her uterus for a dwelling place of my offsprings later on in life."

"Wow. Quick on your toes, aren't you? You'd make an excellent interviewee to exploit on."

"I'm sure you'd love that. So, how's the hospital?"

"Meh, I guess it's alright, especially when I get not only to inhale disease but to smell like one too."

"Hm, aromatic."

"Well, someone has to attempt to cure the uncurable, attend to those who shamble into the hospital and patch up all the gushing wounds that come across the hospital's lobby each day."

"That said why aren't you out there saving the world instead of coming to a drinking spree with me?"

"You see, since our last encounter… I have been out of my—I mean, I was distracted. You know that kind of feeling wherein you're missing something and you keep thinking about it so much that it consumes all your energy? Well, that happened to me and unfortunately, I picked out the best time and place to demonstrate it."

"I believe this is juicy. What happened?"

"I was walking down the stairs pretty much spaced-out, thinking about the what-ifs and the tomorrow-never-comes shit and all that. And then suddenly, there's this doctor walking up the stairs. I was sure that I'd collide with him but my stupid instinct kicked in and I slightly stepped down, not looking where my foot was going. So there, my foot, the traitor that it was, landed on thin air as my whole body followed, my ass bumping the edges of the stairs until I reached a stop."

"That's why you're swaying. Smart and graceful. You're quite the catch, aren't you?"

"Man where is that bartender?"

"So, what have you been doing besides humiliating yourself after our modest excursion?"

"Oh, saying in terms of 'modest excursion' you mean, you devouring me in bed and leaving me the next morning without saying anything and then hiding from me in what, a month!?"

"That was… a natural occurrence. Sex is a human need. And I am merely human too. But I… I have taken advantage of your disposition that night and I am sternly remorseful for that."

"You were drunk that night too! Surely there was no way you'd be able to hold off your urges. You're a man, I'm pretty much aware of that. And I believe, as far as my fragments of memory of that night state… I was the one who… seduced you."

"You might be the one who took the first initiative that night but I should have just walked away or punched the lights out off you or something to get you out of my hair. But I didn't. Instead I took the next step and one thing led to another. The next thing I knew was the warm sensation in my groins as you writher beneath me."

"If you feel that sorry about that night then you should have come straight at me and said 'I don't want you saying nor talking about this. This night never happened. Got it?'"

"I doubt that you will comprehend me if I had done that. If I knew you any better, I'd say you'd throw a fit of temper or something equally deadly that will cause me an early grave."

"Damn right you are! But that wasn't enough reason to go and hide your good-looking face from me, now was it? Or are you just being a chicken about the fact that you simply enjoyed me that night?"

"I have never said anything similar to that."

"Contrary to what you believe, you just said that you enjoy our conversation. Mr. Macho, you just contradicted yourself."

"You must have misunderstood my statement, then. What I meant when I said those words earlier roughly translates to: 'you amuse me'."

"Well, sorry for not understanding! Next time put your subliminal messages up in the front, okay, huh, sweetie?"

"That night was an unforgettable mistake on both of our account. You are someone who stood alongside me for many years, since high school if I'm not erroneous. You and I have a well-built bond. From just like what you've said, being childhood friends and all that. We go way back. If you haven't realized yet, I do treasure that bond. And our reckless actions created a crack on that, threatening to sever it apart. I am not prepared to let go of you yet. No, not until you come across the man who'll treat you with the love, care, respect, etcetera etcetera, you deserve."

"You're saying that in order to 'prevent' our relationship or whatever you call what we have from falling apart, you chose to ignore me?"

"It was either that or digging your grave."

"You… are a difficult boy."

"And you're in love with me."

"And that. Ugh. Bartender! Upgrade my order to three bottles of hard Tequila!"

Glare. "You're obviously pushing your alcohol limit. Are you planning on playing the 'guilt game' here?"

"Hm. Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know! I'm stressed. You're stressing me! All you had to do was to say 'Gee, I really don't have the guts to love you, Sakura'. But you—you just have to make it complicated and twisted and… Ugh!"

"I wasn't the one who saved thy virginity for years waiting to be swept off thy feet by the one she truly loves."

"And you did! You took my virginity!"

"You sound pained. Aren't you pleased that one of your dreams came to reality?"

"I am! I am happy. And hurt. And regretful. And a hundred different things and…I don't know! I'm confused! I'm scared because you'll never see me the way that I want you to!"

"In a way you want… which means?"

"As a woman!"

"I believe I already did the moment I laid you in bed."

"You know that's not what I meant! I meant as a woman—as the female who would be delightful and more than enthusiastic to lend you the use of her uterus for a dwelling place of your offspring's later on in life! That kind of woman!"

"That sounds sane. If I stop and think about it, you are the only female creature who'd endured my ego among other things. Really, it might be a possibility."

"Stop that! You're giving me that flicker of hope and I'll lose myself in a myriad of feelings and then end up being thrashed away by you again!"

"When have I done that?"

"Being forgetful much? Remember the time when you told me you'd be my last dance in prom? You didn't care enough to search for me and take me to the dance. And then that time during my debut? You didn't come when you said you would! Then one Valentines Day, the chocolates I gave you—when I turned my back you gave them to Naruto!"

"You make me sound like an asshole."

"Because you are one! And pretty and beautiful at that! Don't look at me like that! It's true! You're even prettier than me. And you're a boy. I don't even know what I see in you that made me fall in love for you hopelessly!"

"I don't understand either. You women are complicated creatures. You have been spared a possibility with your loved one and the next second you're angry and you keep on rambling."

"Well, you're difficult too! Wait, what did you just say?"

"Did you seriously think that I'd come to the far end of the court room just to drag you, demand you go with me here and make a closure when I could be in that extravagant party for the win I have caused them?"

"Well, yeah. As far as I've known you, you're that kind of a person who would do such thing. You know, the dragging part was a little surprise but expecting a closure thingy about our one-night stand was even obvious coming from you."

"You have misunderstood me again. I was not here to do any closure with what happened between us that night. All that I was saying earlier are in my defense of what happened. But I have yet to fully unveil my plans for the future between us."

"Right. And your super-duper-plan, if I may ask, is?"

"I had a revelation."

"Wow. And here I thought you had it all figured out, Mr. Righteous."

"I am disregarding you and that comment for now. You will listen to me. For the past years that have gone by between us, I have listened to your opinions and everything that flew right out of that mouth of yours and believe me, some of those are too gore to forget. You have followed me, stalked me, cared about me, loved me. And I am forever thankful for that. But you have also forgotten the fact that I am a man. A man who would rather suffer the consequences of his actions."

"That's really rich coming from the man who hid his face for one month."

"As I was saying, I am giving you the chance to be with me."

"Wait, what!? You're saying 'yes' to me? Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?"

"I am no chauvinist. I firmly believe you have done adequate wooing for both of us."

"I can't believe this! You're taking me out of responsibility, aren't you?"

"Believe what you fancy, but it will not alter the fact that you and I are now a couple."

"A couple? Do you even care about me?"

"I do. I have stated earlier that I care a sufficient amount to protect the attachment we have up until your Mr. Prince Charming comes around and sweep you away."

"Believe me, I've met Mr. Prince Charming and he's never going to love me the way that I do him."

"I will… venture my finest."

"Do I get to have declarations of love and cheesy but romantic acts from you? Will you give me that?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows?"

"Oh, okay."

"You're just going to allow it to fly away? That's an awful yet suspicious surprise on your part. You're not harboring some sort of pent up anger towards me that would leave me dead, are you?"

"Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows?" Flips cell phone and dials. "Hello? Ah, why hello there Neji-kun! How are you today?"

Glare. "Why are you calling that loser?"

"Ah. No, that's not Uchiha's voice. No. No one's with me. Hm. Where? You want me to go where? Same place yesterday? Sure. Sure."

Serious glare. "Sakura,"

"Oh, you want me to do that again to you? I knew you'd love that! Getting slightly addictive much? (laughs) Stop that! Yeah. You know I'm sensitive like a peach! So, what time again? Because—"

Grabs her cell phone. "Listen up, you lowly Hyuga branch boy, talk to my girl again and you're a walking dead man. Huh? What do you mean you're not Neji? Who are you? Sai? Who's that!? Tch. Shut your mouth, you're the one who's doesn't have a dick!" Flips phone off.

Smile. "Wasn't that fun? Tehee. (Giggle) Anyway, I'm pretty content with my payback now. Going back to the main issue here, this 'relationship' we're having as a couple is pretty much premature and has a lot of pieces that needs taking care of. But yeah. I'm going to accept it anyway."

Bartender comes. "Sorry for the long delay, there's been trouble at the back. Ugh, here are your drinks."

"No need. We're going out anyway. Come on, Sakura."

"What!? Look, I'm still sober! Doesn't that contradict the main idea of drinking?"

"You say this premature relationship requires a lot of fixing. We're going to do one now. That night… I wasn't under the influence of alcohol. And now I'm giving you the opportunity to experience the same thing not including the hung-over the next day or tidbits of recollection of the night that had occurred."

"Wow. You make a very scrumptious offer, Sasuke-kun. Ventilating your jealousy on make-up sex? I never thought I'd have these surprises in a row especially coming from you!" Grin. "I've gotten under that thick skin of yours haven't I?"

"Like a very rapid multiplying mold. Now, let's do something that would provide your father the grounds to try to strangle me to death."

"How generous of you, Mr. Prince Charming. Now, let me take advantage of that. Your apartment or mine?"

Sorry about the overused puns. This was inspired by asteriskjam's Scrabble and Daquiris--it's a friendship fic between Sakura and Neji and I will shamelessly plug it here. Yes. If you haven't read it yet, do now! It's witty and awesome! Insert cookie hearts here.