Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, Rumiko Takahashi does. I do not own 'All My Love' and the resulting Sues, Inuyasha-is-my-home-dog does. I do not own the PPC, that belongs to Jay and Acacia. I do own Luana Starlight and Orange Plaid. Haildar is adopted.
PPC Mission 1: All My Love
Moving down the halls of the PPC Headquarters, you are lucky to find what you are looking for. This would include the various Response Centers. One in particular was an interesting one to look for. Finding a simple number like RC 500 was hard enough; finding RC 27 ½.5 was murder. It wasn't that it didn't exist, it did, but finding where it existed was the problem. The current residents, though, had made it a little easier for themselves to be found. Hanging on the door of the Response Center was a homemade sign underneath the Response Center number. It read, in one style of handwriting: Home to 1 Insane Psycho, 1 Partial Psycho, and 1 Mini. Enter if you dare. (Dare, dare). The other style of handwriting read: Ignore O.P.; she's headed to down Insanity Road sooner or later. The drawings around the edges of the sign didn't help either.
Inside, all was quiet; the faint hum of machinery was the only noise in the room. For a room, it was insignificant in comparison to some of the others. There were some things lying around that suggested life and, indeed, the body in the ratty old recliner confirmed that. The head was slumped forward, chin on chest, with hands holding a book that was nearly on the floor...correction, it was on the floor.
"Who? What? Huh?"
Agent Luana Starlight's head jerked up at the sound of a loud 'thump' made by the aforementioned book. This was followed by another sound.
-BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!...BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!...BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!-
"When in all the Heavens did you learn 'Jingle Bells'?" she asked the machine.
Her only response was a hum as the machine finished its concert. She stood and crossed over to see the mission. A quick scan and she was grabbing her supplies. The duffle soon contained her PPC-issued gear as well as her personal touches: iPod, headphones, sketchpad, pencils/pens (whichever she could locate), and several smaller items. Once everything was jammed in, she walked over to a pile of blankets.
The pile moved a little but no sound was heard. Luana stood there for a few seconds before using her foot to clear the pile of blankets off her partner. Agent Orange Plaid, or O.P. as Luana called her sister, was curled up in the fetal position with a pillow under her head and a blanket wrapped around her head. One had to wonder if she had ever tried to suffocate herself sleeping like that. Both Agents had learned early on that if you wanted to sleep through the alarm, figure out a way to block the noise. Luana used earplugs (or turned her iPod way beyond the healthy hearing range) and Plaid had started using blankets to muffle sound.
"What? Go away, 'm tired."
Neither one was very articulate after waking up. This was sometimes considered a good thing. This meant that a certain pet could get away with certain things and not be yelled at. Then again, not everything was his fault so there was nothing to get away with.
"My new boots." Pause. "HAILDAR!"
"Don't yell at him. He didn't do anything wrong!"
"Then where are they?"
"Where you left them. In the bathroom."
After a few more minutes, and a couple of apologies to the Mini-Balrog, the Agents of Response Center 27 ½.5 were ready.
"What mission? Where are we going? Who are we seeing? What are we going as?"
"Will you shut up?"
"How about this? You shut up and let me tell you everything you need to know before we leave, and I will go out and buy you whatever you want from the PPC convenience store. Deal?"
"I've been suckered," Luana muttered under her breath.
A blue portal opened and dumped two bodies out onto the ground. Right on top of each other.
"Get off! You're heavy!"
Plaid hurriedly got off her sister, but not before putting her hand on the back of Luana's head and accidentally smashing her face into the ground.
"Thank you so much."
Nothing more was said as the Author's Note boomed around them.
I don't own Inuyasha! I love the show, though! This is my own fanfic with some of my own characters that I made up. Kiki is Kagome's half sister; long story. It's on my profile. This is my first fanfic so this chapter's not so long. Anyways, enjoy!
"Ow ow ow!" Luana muttered, feeling a headache coming on.
"She loves the show but she can't leave it alone. And who would name their daughter 'Kiki' in the Feudal Era?" Plaid said, staring around the undescribed location.
"And I don't want to read her profile to find out how Kiki is Kagome's half-sister. Kagome has a sibling and it is a little brother."
"Of course," Luana said, pulling out the paper and pen.
Plaid watched as her sister wrote down 'stupid and historically inaccurate name' and 'impossible family relation'. Thank the gods that these chapters were short. Luana could come up with quite a charge list if this mission went on for too long.
"Come on, let's find the Sue."
The rain beat down hard against the wooden roof. Everybody was asleep, except one.
"Thanks," both Agents muttered as they found themselves suddenly drenched.
Standing in the middle of the village that had popped up around them, they stood out quite noticeably, despite looking like villagers. Where was the Sue?
"There," Plaid pointed out. Luana followed the finger to a hut where the Sue was leaning against the door frame and the door.
Kiki sat up against the door frame, watching the raindrops fall in no particular rhythm, staining the dusty ground. The rice-paper door was jerked from underneath her shoulder and she fell onto the muddy earth below. She lay there for a minute or so, not moving at all.
"How... I don't want to know how she was doing that?" Luana said.
"Isn't a rice-paper door supposed to be very breakable?" Plaid asked.
"So then, she should have broken it by leaning against it?"
"Well, why are there even rice-paper doors in a building that is in a village? It should be a reed mat, at least."
"Yeah, so what do we put down as the charge?"
"Works for me."
While the two Agents were talking, Kiki had continued to lay face-down in the mud, apparently not having to worry about breathing.
"Are you just going to wallow in the mud or what?" The voice was all too familiar, and Kiki rolled her eyes.
"No, InuYasha, it just so happens that I'm not." She stood up and did her best to wipe to mud off of her red and white kimono. I would definitely leave a stain. "And I wasn't wallowing!"
"Ha ha ha. She would be leaving a stain? She definitely is a stain," Plaid said while Luana dug into her bag, looking for her CAD. Once she had found it, she pulled it out and pointed it at InuYasha.
-InuYasha. Canon. Male. Out-of-Character 5 percent-
"Well, why isn't he higher?"
"Think about it. He normally talks like that to Kagome. Now maybe if he was a little nicer to her, then it would be higher."
She walked back into the house and looked around for a place to sleep.
On her left, Sango was asleep with Kirara curled around her, and on Sango's right, Miroku was leaning against the wall. On Kiki's right was Lord Sessho-maru, holding his sleeping five year old daughter, Suki, in his lap. Kasumi lay next to him, her long chestnut hair out of its tight braid and reflecting the pale moonlight perfectly. She had her head resting the powerful Lord's shoulder. (Merciless Moosey: Having power is so great.)
"There are several things that are wrong with that paragraph. First off, Kirara would not sleep around Sango. She would be curled up next to Sango..."
Luana sat back and listened to her partner rant. While the rant was going on, Luana was writing down charges: 'impossible sleeping position for Kirara', 'improper spelling of the Western Lord's name', 'impossible sleeping arrangements for said Lord', 'missing Canon characters', 'multiple Mary Sues', and 'in-text Author's Notes'.
"...and on top of it, where the hell is RIN? She's his ward. He wouldn't just leave her somewhere and not have her nearby."
Tukiko was on her far left, sprawled out on the floor with Shippo curled up comfortably on her back, his big bushy tail twitching when Tukiko breathed.
The Agents stood there trying to figure out those specific sleeping arrangements. Even drawing it on a piece of paper, they still couldn't figure it out. 'Idiocy in writing sleeping arrangements' went down in writing.
Kagome sat in a corner all by herself near Tukiko.
Just before Plaid could continue going on, Luana put her hand over her mouth and whispered, "I know that there are several things wrong with the sleeping arrangements. And that includes the fact that Kagome and Shippo are not together. Do not say anything else. That charge is also going on the list."
Plaid nodded and Luana took her hand off her mouth.
InuYasha, however, walked to the far wall and sat between Sango and his older half brother.
Once again, Plaid opened her mouth to start shouting about the sleeping arrangements. One look from her partner quieted her down.
"Sesshomaru doesn't like his half-brother. InuYasha wouldn't be allowed to sleep anywhere near him."
-Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western Lands. Youkai male. Canon. Out-of-Character 75.89 percent. CHARACTER RUPTURE! CHARACTER RUP...-
The mute button was quickly pushed and the now-smoking device was shoved into the duffel. Both Agents looked around to see if the noise was noticed.
"Hey wait!" Kiki shouted, as quietly as she could so as to not wake anybody up and face the wrath of interrupted sleep. "I was going to sleep there!"
"How can you shout quietly?" Plaid asked, looking at Luana.
"Don't know. Maybe whisper while making exaggerated movements with your mouth?"
"That would be funny to see a normal person do."
InuYasha merely shrugged. "Too bad, so sad. Find another spot."
Kiki started to the other side of the room. "You're such a jerk, InuYasha." She laid down when she found a comfortable spot and slipped into a peaceful sleep.
"And you're a bloody, freaking..." the rest of the rant was cut off.
"Do I have to get the duct tape out of the duffel just to get you to shut up? I can't have you continue shouting and trying to draw their attention to us. We need to finish the story before we make ourselves known."
I'd like to say a BIG THANK YOU to The Merciless Moosey for beta reading this. GO CHECK OUT HER STUFF!! (The Merciless Moosey: Hee hee...I actually typed this whole thing for InuYasha-is-my-homedog...) (It was her idea. This whole story belongs to InuYasha-is-my-homedog, not me, The Merciless Moosey. Are you confused yet?)
"What use is a beta reader if they don't help make sense of the story? You don't just check for spelling errors."
"I guess it's a good thing this story only belongs to one person. I would hate for it to be the brilliant idea of multiple people."
"Don't ask me. My brain doesn't work like the Mary Sues."
"Time jump coming up. And the next chapter."
The sun shone through the paper door and blinded Kiki as she sat up. She rubbed her eyes and looked around the room. She smiled when she saw that Tukiko, Sessho-maru, Suki, Kasumi, Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Kirara, and Kagome were still asleep, but grimaced when she saw that InuYasha was wide awake.
It was only a minor time jump, but it was enough to send the two Agents reaching for something to keep them standing up. Luana gave up and sat down to keep watching everything while Plaid stumbled into a corner. Both Agents hoped that they weren't noticed by either Kiki-Sue or InuYasha, who just had to turn his head to stare right at them.
And staring right at her.
Thankfully, his interest wasn't on them.
"What do you want?" she whispered across the room.
"An annoying spoiled brat," he said, louder, and with a straight face.
"What question does that answer?" Plaid asked.
"The unasked question: what am I?" Luana said, turning around to answer her sister's question.
"You might need a mirror for that," she scoffed ("Huh?" was the response of both Agents), and crossed her arms. His brow furrowed and he walked up to her. She stood up so he was at least a foot taller than her. Her arms were crossed, her hip was out, and she had an annoyed put on her face.
Both Agents watched as InuYasha stayed sitting on the ground but used his legs to 'walk' across to the Sue.
"You're nothing but a selfish little child!" InuYasha yelled at her.
"Wow! That describes what all Sues are! InuYasha is so smart," Plaid said, kneeling down so that she wouldn't be so easily spotted.
"I thought you didn't like him."
"I don't. That doesn't mean I can't pay him a compliment when I think he's right on something."
"Look who's talking!" Kiki shouted back.
All of the shouting woke everybody else up. They just sat there and watched the argument progress. Kiki shouted really loud at InuYasha and he shouted back just as loud. Finally, Kasumi couldn't take it anymore.
"What argument? They weren't really having a conversation.
"Will you two cut it out?!" she shouted at the top of her lungs.
There was immediate silence in the small hut.
This 'immediate silence' left both Agents with a ringing in their ears. Quite uncomfortable when they needed to listen to the story progress.
Kasumi sighed. "Well, now that we're all up, maybe we can eat some breakfast."
"I'm not eating with her!" shouted InuYasha (Is it just me, or do they do a lot of shouting?) (Just wondering...) and emphasized his statement by pointing directly at Kiki.
"Again with the in-text Author's Notes," Luana sighed.
"Yo, dipstick, no one wants your opinion," Plaid said, staring at the ceiling. Most likely trying to locate the semi-author.
"Well, you don't have to!" Kiki shouted, anger evident in her voice.
Luana kept writing while saying, "Normally when you shout, you are angry. I don't really know any other reason to continue shouting after an argument."
"But don't you sometimes shout when you are excited?"
"After that conversation..."
"Why? Are you leaving?" InuYasha said, hopeful.
"No, but you can." Kiki smiled and made Tukiko giggle. Kasumi shot her a death glare and she coughed her giggle back up.
"And after that, we are leaving as well."
"Get the Portal Generator ready. I want to take her out. I have a headache that won't go away until she does."
"Please wait. Sesshomaru is going to speak."
"You know she is just to going to mess him up as well."
"If you two are going to fight, do it where we don't have to listen to it," Sessho-maru said in his usual monotone, having had enough of their petty argument and shoving them both outside.
Plaid's mouth hung open as Sesshomaru willingly put his hands on InuYasha to shove him out the door.
"He wouldn't push InuYasha out the door. I know, I know. Throwing him out the door is more his style."
For a while they just stood there, not saying anything or even looking at each other. Then InuYasha did something very unlike him.
"I'm sorry..." he muttered.
"What?" Kiki said, disbelievingly.
While Plaid worked to set the Portal Generator up, Luana kept writing charges from the Words.
'Forcing InuYasha to apologize.'
"I said I'm sorry!" he said a little louder.
Kiki smiled and walked over to him. She threw her arms around him. "I'm sorry," she whispered. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her. Kiki rested her head on InuYasha's chest. They heard footsteps behind them.
'Causing InuYasha to act like a love-struck fool.'
"Have you got that thing ready yet?"
"Where would you like to go?"
"End of Chapter Three. She and InuYasha head back to the village. We can grab her and then go after the other two."
"Let's go. I can't take this anymore."
"I like it okay!" he scooted closer to her and touched her shoulder. She turned around and looked at him. Their faces were just inches away from each other. Her eyes began to close and so did his. There faces crept closer and closer until their lips were just centimeters away. A blood-curdling scream echoed throughout the village and ended their moment. They both leapt up and headed back toward the village.
The two Agents came out in time to watch the two start walking back to the village. Because the Suethor had not stated how they had headed back to the village, they, by default, walked.
"Set the Disguise Generator to change us to demons."
While they walked behind the two, their disguises settled in. They had chosen to look like dog demons. Since they were sisters, they looked very much alike. Both sisters had dark hair and similar markings on their face. Luana had added a spear to her outfit while Plaid had a sword at her waist. She also reached into one sleeve and pulled out a knife.
"This is great. Now we can get them from far away."
"Depends," Luana said. "How fast can you move to get up to Lord Sesshomaru and then get away?"
"Well, let's see. Let's take out Kiki first."
Both started moving to follow the Sue and InuYasha. Luana was the first to figure out how to use her demon speed. She moved up behind Kiki and grabbed her, putting her hand over her mouth so that she wouldn't make a sound. InuYasha kept moving down the path, not noticing that his 'love' was gone.
Once InuYasha was out of sight, Luana uncovered Kiki's mouth and let her go.
"Who are you? Let me go with InuYasha, there is something wrong in the village."
"Yeah, that thing would be you and your friends," Plaid said, pulling out her sword.
"What? You're wrong. I belong here. I have always been here."
"Yeah, about that," Luana started, "we are here to charge you. By the authority of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum, we charge you with having a stupid and historically inaccurate name and an impossible family relationship. Kagome has one sibling and that is a little brother. You are not her brother so, therefore, you cannot be her family. Also, for faulty architecture and this one is quite interesting. Rice-paper doors belong in the homes of the rich, not in poor villages. They would have reed doors, not rice-paper. Then there is faulty wording, but you are right, you are a stain. Then there is improper spelling of the Western Lord's name and impossible sleeping arrangements for said Lord. You also completely erased several characters, namely Jaken. Since we don't know when you have placed this story, we were unsure whether Rin would be here or not. For that, you are forgiven but that does not absolve you of the charges."
Plaid reached forward and bashed her sword hilt against the back of the Sue's head. The Sue went down on her hands and knees.
"Continuing on, you are also charged with creating multiple Mary Sues, for LOUD in-text Author's Notes, idiocy in writing, non-canon sleeping arrangements for Kagome and Shippo, impossible body movements - it was quite funny seeing InuYasha walk across the floor without standing up, though - logically impossible conversations, headache inducing Author's Notes, forcing Lord Sesshomaru to put his hands on InuYasha without throwing him, for forcing InuYasha to apologize - not in his personality, you stupid Sue. He wouldn't apologize unless he was feeling really, really bad, like when Kagome was crying. For causing InuYasha to act like a love-struck fool, having anachronistic food - French toast, please - causing InuYasha to wear flower crowns, for lusting after a PPC Agent's Lust Object, and for annoying PPC Agents. Oh yes, and for being a Mary Sue. For this, you are condemned to be destroyed."
"You cannot do this to me. I am the daughter of a priestess. You wouldn't kill a priestess, would you?"
"Actually, yes, considering you aren't really a priestess," Plaid said, lifting her sword.
Kiki turned to run but was stopped short when the sword came down and buried itself in her back. Both Agents watched as she tried to get back up but slumped forward, dead.
"That was easy. Let's go get the other three."
Haildar was chewing on one of Plaid's old boots when a blue doorway opened in the Response Center. Both Agents stumbled through, looking a little worse for wear. Luana's hair was coming out of the bun she normally wore while Plaid looked like she had had a run-in with some fire.
"Did you expect Kirara to be able to move to the kid that fast?" Plaid was asking.
"Nope. I did expect some trouble from Lord Sesshomaru, though. It was kind of nice that he didn't put up a fight when we killed his 'wife' and 'daughter'. He just let them die."
"I think he knew that they weren't supposed to be there but couldn't fight against the Sue's influence."
"Well, for our first mission, that wasn't too bad."
"Yeah, and now you owe me something from the store," Plaid said, sitting down on a pile of pillows.
"What do you want?"
"Something to drink would be nice. Do you think they sell green tea here?"
Luana sighed. "I'll check. Come on, Haildar. I'll get you something, as well."
Plaid watched as her sister and Mini left the Response Center. Once the door was shut, she stood up and walked over to the console. She pulled off the panel and started tinkering with the adjustments she had made earlier. It wasn't Christmas yet, so she should probably change the tune from "Jingle Bells". Maybe "End of All Hope" would be a better choice.
TITLE: All My Love
SUMMARY: Inuyasha and Kikyo's daughter are slowly falling in love. But what about Kagome? What does she thing of all of this? Join Inuyasha, the gang, and some new found friends as they discover love, hate, and much much more...
1. Stupid and historically inaccurate name
2. Impossible family relation
3. Faulty architecture
4. Faulty wording – I would leave a stain
5. Impossible sleeping position for Kirara
6. Improper spelling of the Western Lord's name
7. Impossible sleeping arrangements for said Lord
8. Missing Canon characters
9. Multiple Mary Sues
10. In-text Author's Notes
11. Idiocy in writing sleeping arrangements
12. Non-canon sleeping arrangements for Kagome and Shippo
13. Impossible body movements
14. Headache inducing Author's Notes
15. Logically impossible conversations
16. Forcing Sesshomaru to put his hands on InuYasha without throwing him
17. Forcing InuYasha to apologize (not in his personality)
18. Causing InuYasha to act like a love-struck fool
19. Anachronistic food (French Toast)
20. Causing InuYasha to wear flower crowns
21. Lusting after PPC Agent's Lust Object
22. Annoying PPC Agents
23. Being a Mary Sue