Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/N: Thanks to all the people that reviewed or placed this story on their favorites. I'm sorry for the long wait and I'm hoping next update don't take as long in coming. Please tell me what you guys think.
Judy Witwicky's funeral was a very private family affair. Just a few months before the same people had gathered to bury her son, Sam. They weren't surprised to be meeting again like this. Sam had been Judy's pride and joy.
They all watched Ron crumble. The proud man barely a ghost of who he'd been before his son's death. They couldn't help but wonder if they'd meet again like this soon. His speech was moving and everyone gathered left with tears in their eyes. Judy had been a truly remarkable woman and she would be sorely missed. When he said he was leaving everything to live with his brother in Oregon, they all wished him the best of luck. Too involve in their pain, they never noticed the silver Solstice that had watched everything and had slipped away silently when the funeral was finished.
Jazz had never met the woman, but Sam loved her. The Allspark had asked him to know how she was doing and he was unsure of how he was going to take the news. How would he react if he was told Prowl had killed himself? Now, he wasn't sure he'd feel sad at all, but before Megatron's battle he would've been devastated.
He turned left towards the base in complete silence. Not out of respect for the female, but because he still remembered how much he used to love music and now… Now he could barely stand it without flinching. It was used only to keep up with the charade. Music was for the living and it hurt to hear it.
Instead, when the silence became too much and his spark cried out for a release that he knew would not come until his deal was done, he opened all six hundred visual and audio channels and drowned in the endless chatter. Just like when he was dead… when it was him and the other sparks clamoring to be allowed peace.
He envied Judy Witwicky so badly. To know she gets to feel peace while he still yearned for his. He envied the humans so badly for that.
Mikaela prided herself on being a strong woman. Her father, all faults aside, taught her how things worked in the real world and she took his teachings to heart. That was the only reason she accepted their offer.
They promised to free her father, erase both of their records and enough money to live a comfortable life. All she had to do was lie through her teeth. Lie to Sam and convince him to stay with the Autobots. Lie to his parents and say he'd been in an accident and never made it to her place. Lie and attend the funeral of the boy that supposedly burned to death in his own car and watch as his family broke down in pieces that day.
She knew that was the moment the guilt came to haunt her. Watching Judy scream to God, asking why he took her baby from her, while Ron held her was the one thing that made her realize what she'd done. She broke a family apart to get her own family back.
She dreamed of hugging her father again since she was a little girl. She was sure she wasn't supposed to feel ashamed, yet that was the only thing she felt that day. She wasn't proud of running away, but she couldn't stay in Tranquility. She knew she would carry the guilt with her wherever she went for the rest of her life, but she needed to get away. She needed to set as much space between her, the American government and the Autobots.
How lucky of her that her father wanted to leave too? And if he went back to his old lifestyle and she followed him in his footsteps, she was too deep in her own guilt and shame to care. She deserved to feel like a bad girl. After all, this is the life she sold Sam for, wasn't it?
Mikaela prided herself on being a strong woman. She seldom cried, but she remembered crying on Sam's fake funeral for the hurt she caused him and his family. In a way she cried for the death of who she'd been.
Today, as she cradled the telephone in her hands, she cried again at the news of the death of Sam's mother. Suicide, Captain Lennox told her over the phone. The man, chosen as liaison between the government and the Autobots, was the only one to call her when important things with Sam happened. But it wasn't suicide and they both knew it. It was murder. She murdered Judy when she accepted the government's deal. The government murdered Judy when they went along with hiding the Allspark in fear of a Decepticon attack. The Autobots murdered Judy when they got in their processors that the Allspark needed to kept away for protection. And if she thought long and hard, Sam murdered his own mother when he bought Bumblebee that day. Hell, she could drag the guilt game all the way to that Witwisky descendant that owned the glasses in the first place. It would not erase the damage she'd done or the part she played in all of this.
Today she cried as the guilt overwhelmed her and all she could do was pray for forgiveness.
Optimus watched the Allspark with a frown, ignoring Red Alert's inquisitive optics.
"The Allspark doesn't look happy," Optimus finally said earning a slight shrug from the mech at his side.
"From what I gathered, humans are a rather unhappy bunch," Red Alert said cautiously while turning his optics to look at their object of discussion, "With the Allspark taking residence in the body of a human, it is only natural that it would take on some of their traits."
"Sam was a happy kid," Optimus almost whispered.
"And he was allowed to have risks we cannot take with the Allspark," the Autobots security mech replied, "Have some faith, Optimus, Perceptor is looking for a way to recreate the Cube and get the Allspark out of that fragile body. Maybe… Maybe this Sam didn't die and is waiting to have his consciousness back"
Optimus cycled air. He could see the Allspark staring at the wall. Not one organic muscle moved as it stared forward. Probably staring into the Well of Sparks. Or maybe he was talking with Primus himself. Optimus felt humbled to be allowed to protect the Allspark again. He failed it once and he vowed he wouldn't fail again.
"Tell me when Jazz arrives. I have something I need to discuss with him. Tell him it is about the Allspark."
Red Alert watched his leader go before turning to look at the Allspark. He couldn't deny the awe he felt when he looked at it. He craved to talk to it. The part of him that had taken time to study human behavior in order to understand the soldiers better agreed with his leader. The Allspark didn't look happy. But surely they could be wrong in their assessment. The boy whose body now housed the Allspark was dead ever since the Allspark took over. The Allspark itself had brought Jazz back to life in gratitude. They were just protecting it and doing their best to keep it happy and healthy. Which was no easy task given its now organic body and instincts.
"How's it going, Red?" the silver Solstice said as he walked into the room.
"Just watching the Allspark," the mech replied, optics not quite meeting Jazz's face.
"Think I'll get to see the Allspark today?" he said, folding his arms while leaning casually against the wall.
Red Alert shrugged, "Prime needs to talk to you about the Allspark. Though I don't see why he won't let you in with the Allspark. After all, the Allspark did choose you, out of all the fallen mechs, to come back, didn't it?"
Jazz tried hard to keep the friendly smile on his face. That last comment made the longing in his spark ache painfully. If Red Alert noticed the way his fingers tightened, with enough force to almost dent his own arms, and the way his jaw tightened, he didn't say anything. Besides, he doubted telling the Allspark his news would go well. Not that he personally cared (though he did managed to feel some sort of pity amidst the envy), but he knew Sam would care. Once upon a time he would've feared the repercussions of angering the Allspark, yet now his only fear was of Sam breaking his promise.