A/N: So yeah, hi. Long time no see. Misao here. I can't even remember the last story I posted but that probably has something to do with the fact that it's two in the morning. Either way I figured it was time I gave you nice people something new. So here you are. Enjoy and please let me know what you think.
Mello leaned against the counter resting his chin on his hand. Tangled blonde hair hung messily in front of ice blue eyes that saw past the plainly decorated kitchen around him. The cool marble of the countertop pressed into the warm skin of his bare chest. He had one end of his rosary tangled between his fingers and the other hanging from his teeth. A scowl that would scare small children showed how deep in thought he was. So deep in fact that he was very nearly drowning in his thoughts.
A loud crash saved him from his imminent drowning as a very disgruntled Matt stumbled into the kitchen making a wild grab for the coffee. Neither of them cared much what he had just knocked to the floor and broke. He poured himself a mug of the steaming brown liquid and clung to the cup as if it was life itself. He leaned across the counter from Mello and the blonde couldn't keep his eyes from glancing over the gamer's shirtless form. He sighed. Matt was the poster boy for a bad night's sleep with his hair sticking out at odd angles from his head, the dark circles under tired green eyes, and his faded yellow pajama pants twisted uncomfortably to the side.
"Isn't that a sin?" he spat motioning to the rosary beads in Mello's mouth. The blonde grunted in response. Come to think of it they had both had a rough night.
Everything went as it normally did in their small apartment, Mello made two packages of instant noodles- that was all that their limited budget could afford for with the expenses of their upcoming scheme and of course the chocolate and cigarettes that had to be accounted for- and took them into the living room where he sat on the couch to eat while he watched Matt play some video game or another on the floor. The redhead continued to play one-handed while he scarfed down his noodles. After awhile Mello actually got into watching Matt play and had even convinced himself that he knew what was going on. That's the only reason he even noticed when Matt seemed less than enthusiastic about playing, allowing himself to be killed over and over again.
"Matt, what's wrong?" he asked after the gamer's on screen persona suffered a few more rather painful looking deaths. To Mello it almost looked like he was doing in on purpose but Matt would never do that. The redhead sighed setting his controller to the side. He fiddled with the hem of his jeans for a minute with a contemplative look on his face.
"I, uh, I, umm… I- I mean you- I mean I- god damn it, how do I say this?!" He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. Mello looked at his friend, more than a little worried. He had never seen him this flustered. Something big had to be going on with him for him to be acting this way.
Matt yanked his goggles back so they rested on top of his head and gave the blonde a long, hard stare. The gamer crawled up onto the couch next to his worried friend. He opened his mouth to speak but when no sound came out he made a few exasperated hand gestures as he searched for the right words to use. When it seemed that all of his words had abandoned him he let his gaze rest solely on his toes. After a horribly long moment Mello started to get more worried about Matt but he looked up and it was clear by the expression on his face that he had made a decision. He leaned in and pressed his lips onto the chocoholic's lightly. Mello stiffened in shock. This was the last thing he had expected. The redhead pulled away, hurt already clear on his face from the lack of reaction.
"Matt, I- I can't," the blonde choked out after an awful silence. "It's just that I'm-"
"No, it's okay. I clearly made a mistake. You don't have to say anything." The gamer held up a hand to keep him from saying anything more.
"Matt, I'm Catholic," Mello said pushing his hand down. "Loving another man is a sin. I- I just can't."
"No, I understand perfectly." The redhead stood and stormed off toward his bedroom. "You're hardly one to talk about sin though," he muttered just loud enough for the blonde to hear him before letting the door slam behind him.
His words made Mello wince. He was right. What made one sin worse than another? He had committed plenty of them. He had been told that he had been cleansed of all the sins he had confessed to but had he really? Was he as pure as he had been told or was every single one of his sins still weighing him down, staining his soul blacker than the darkest night? Was killing one man worse than loving another? If he had been forgiven for that couldn't he be forgiven for loving his best friend? No matter how much he wanted to he couldn't deny how he felt when Matt kissed him. He couldn't deny how his heart raced or how he wanted to pull him closer and do more than just kiss him. Was just having these feelings a sin or did it only become one when he acted on them? Was he already damned? Not many things scared the former mafia boss and the answer to that question was one of them.
Mello turned the beads over a few more times in his fingers before he dropped them down onto the counter. He moved over to the man standing across from him and pulled him into his arms. The gamer's eyes widened in surprise. The blonde's entire body filled with warmth as he kissed Matt for real this time. The two broke for air after far too long and Mello gave the redhead a dizzy smile.
"What happened to this being a sin?" Matt asked quietly. The arms around his waist tightened.
"Some sins are worth it." The grin on Matt's face made it impossible for him not to kiss him again.