Warning: It's incest! It's horrible, blasphemous, unnatural, illegal, gay, sexual, incest! Oh Lordy! I'ma burn in hell! Don't taint your eyes with the disgusting filth my accursed hands so shamelessly produce! However, if you've accepted your future in hell, take a seat. Have a scone. Enjoy the decadence.

A/N: I couldn't sleep because too many weird little McCormickcest drabbles kept popping into my head. :C

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Kevin gave a pleasured sigh in the darkness. He lifted his hand, gripping a wadded tissue, from beneath the blankets, and tossed it vaguely in the direction of the trash bin in the corner, missing by a foot or two.

"You know," Kenny stated, rolling onto his side to face his brother. "It's really, really disgusting that you do that with me in the same bed."

"I can't sleep without jackin' it." Kevin stated cheerfully.

"Gross. Do it in the bathroom or something!"

"After I'm done, I get really tired."

"Too tired to walk the eight feet back to our room?"

"Yes."

Kenny moaned in frustration. It was bad enough he had to deal with a knee up his butt all night; he didn't need to have his brother's shoulder bump him rhythmically as he beat his meat. They were already overflowing on the twin mattress; however, their parents, the good Christians they were, refused to allow either boy to share a bed with their compact, prepubescent sister.

Kevin bit his lip thoughtfully. "You know, it'd be easier if you just did it for me."

A silence occupied the dark bedroom.

He let out a forced laugh. After a moment, Kenny joined in.

"Yeah, I'd totally love to jack off my brother. That's my dream."

Another brief silence; another set of false laughter.

The noise ended abruptly; they stared, focused, into one another's face, attempting to read the other expression while hiding their own. They lay in this position uninterrupted for nearly a minute.

"…'Night."

"'Night."

A/N: Yeah…inspired by real life events. I really need to learn a way to deal with come-ons other than pretending I think they're joking. It's getting a little pathetic.