Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or any of their human character friends…I only wish to pay tribute to their greatness
A/N: This doesn't really correlate with my "Tinman" story (Movie 2007) in most aspects. I've decided to go with more G1 elements (the Nemesis as the Con base, Megatron still in command, etc) except this isn't set in the 1980s.
I know this plot has been beaten to death and I was shamelessly inspired after reading Lnzy1's "Domestic Liberation" and Happyhedgehog's "Thundercracker's Pet", but I just had to write it. I've always felt of all the G1 Decepticons, Thundercracker would be the one to want a human pet. He might be slightly out of character here from my Tinman portrayal, but it's all in good fun. So…here we go.
A Pet Squishy
Chapter 1 "I Want a Human Pet"
By Leah Wood
"Ewww! No. No way!" Skywarp pulled his head back, repulsed.
"What? I just think they're interesting little creatures." Thundercracker argued, indicating the cars zipping through the city far below.
Skywarp made a face, "Maybe…but why would you want one?"
The blue Seeker shrugged his vented shoulders, still watching the tiny, wheeled machines.
"Come on, TC, why do you want a pet anyway?" Skywarp asked, swooping close to his wingman.
Thundercracker snorted, "When I was a Sparkling, I had a Tecteerian feline."
"You mean those fuzzy blue organics with the long fangs and poisonous tail tips?" Skywarp raised a plated brow, "How'd you get one of those? I thought the Cybertronian Government outlawed those pets on Cybertron."
"I found it on one of the nearby moons when my creators took me there. I caught it and smuggled it home. Then I hid it under my berth for a few stellar months before my creators found it and ordered me to get rid of it." Thundercracker explained, a strangely sad look flickering his optics. "So I took it back to the planet where I found it. I never got another pet after that."
"So…NOW you want a human pet?" Skywarp guessed.
The black Seeker rolled over on his back, flying upside down, "Do you even know HOW to keep a human alive, TC? I mean, they're so easy to terminate."
"Give me some credit!" Thundercracker smacked his comrade's wing, "I've been studying this human internet to find out all the stuff humans need to survive. They need food, water, a place to sleep, a cleansing pool, a place to get rid of their bio fluids and waste," Thundercracker rattled off the list.
"ARG!" Skywarp threw his hands up to his audio receptors with revulsion, "And you WANT one of those? Sounds like a pain in the afterburners to me! Megatron would never let you have one anyway."
Crossing his arms stubbornly, Thundercracker replied, "I still want one."
The black and violet Con stared at his wingman, "You've glitched your logic circuits. Megatron will kick your aft clear up into your mainframe if he finds out."
"Then you'd better not tell him then." Thundercracker narrowed his optics dangerously.
A few days later back in Thundercracker's quarters on the Nemesis…
"Well? What do you think?" Thundercracker asked, displaying the small enclosure unit he'd been building for his anticipated pet.
Skywarp tipped his head. The enclosure was made out of empty Energon cubes with small holes and metal tubing in between the different sections to allow the human access to all the compartments. In one of the cubes there was a colorful parachute stretched out between the cube walls forming what the humans called a "hammock".
"See? It will recharge here." the blue jet Con explained. He pointed to the other cubes which contained an array of tiny objects Skywarp couldn't identify, "That's where it will refuel and…"
"Yeah, yeah. It's great TC," the black and violet Seeker nodded half-heartedly, stopping the explanation before it went on. "So what kind of squishy are you going to put in there?" Skywarp suddenly got an idea and pointed at the enclosure, "Hey! You outta get two males and let 'em fight. That would be fun to watch."
"Oh…I dunno. I kinda want a female human." Thundercracker pondered.
Skywarp sniggered clasping his hands sarcastically, "Aww. TC wants a wittle human femme to keep him company."
A black fist crashed into the Seeker's chin, throwing him back, "Shut off scrap head!"
Recovering quickly, Skywarp let the punch slide with a laugh, "All right, all right. It's just a joke! When are you going to get the human?"
Thundercracker thought a moment, "Well, maybe I'll do some scanning until find the one I want."
"Geez, TC. Just pick one. The planet is crawling with 'em." Skywarp rolled his optics. "Besides if you use the satellite Soundwave will know and you KNOW who he'll tell."
Consenting, Thundercracker stood up, "Fine. Are you coming?"
The black Seeker seemed to debate in his mind, "Will I get to destroy anything?"
"Eh…" Skywarp deliberated, "All right. I could use a good flight anyway."
The two Seekers left Thundercracker's quarters and traversed the long corridor of the Nemesis until they reached the launch bay.
"HEY! Soundwave! Raise the launch bay." Skywarp shouted in the expansive hangar.
Soundwave was almost always at the com panel, running the doors and systems of the Nemesis. It seemed the communications officer never went into recharge.
"Purpose for venture?" the monotonic voice replied over the speaker system.
"Give us a break Soundwave! Do we need a reason to leave?" Skywarp retorted.
The silence that followed indicated that they apparently did.
"Fine! We're going on some patrols…early." Thundercracker offered.
"Unlikely." Soundwave replied, a slight hint of disdain hidden in his voice.
Skywarp crossed his arms, "Would you rather we stay here and find OTHER means to amuse ourselves other than flying?"
Soundwave considered this a moment. A bored Seeker was a troublesome Seeker. In many ways Skywarp was as treacherous as his own two drones Frenzy and Rumble when boredom struck. There was one time where the Seeker adhered his compartment shut when he was in recharge. Logically it would be better to let them patrol than keep them locked in the ship where untold amounts of havoc could be wreaked.
With that the whole launch bay shifted with transformation, rising up like a giant elevator. When the lights indicated the port was out of the water the hatches opened, revealing dimming evening sky. Smirking like a couple of Sparklings, the two Seekers raced down the platform, transformed, ignited their thrusters, roaring into the sky.
Once they gained some altitude, Skywarp called over to his blue wingman, "So where are we going?"
Thundercracker activated his sensors, "I'd say out away from the human cities— someplace secluded where we won't be interrupted."
Skywarp mentally shook his head, "I still think you're glitched."
Not too far away in the suburbs…
Lana was a young woman in her second year of college. She had a firm, toned figure, ivory skin, flashy light red hair, and soft blue eyes—an attractive woman by almost any human standard. A poor college student, she had to room with a couple of other girls she barely knew just to keep her rent manageable whilst she earned her degree to become a chiropractor/masseuse. She didn't mind being alone though. Solitude was preferable after her classes and her shifts at work.
Lana sat in her overstuffed living room chair, thumbing through her anatomy textbook. She sighed with a mixture of irritation and anxiety. There was no way she was going to learn all these muscles by tomorrow! What was her professor thinking? Not to mention she still had to go to work tonight until 2:00 a.m. She clawed at her scalp a moment, stress creeping into the crevices of her mind.
"Work and a test the next morning…just peachy. Well, at least my roommates are out tonight. I never can study with them around." the redhead thought with some glimmer of positive lining.
Lana flipped another page of the book, checking her notes. Her classroom scribbles and the book's long italicized words seemed to jumble together as her brain threatened to quit for the night. She growled, deftly dropping the book on the carpet and meandering over to the small kitchen for a snack. Maybe some food would give her a recharge.
As she peeked in the fridge, a low dull rumble sounded from outside. It sounded like jet planes. She shrugged, scanning the fridge for anything that perked her interest. The windows began to rattle and the dull roar became more distinct. Lana shut the fridge, noting the mugs hanging above the sink were vibrating too.
"Good grief, those jets are loud." she stated.
But instead of the jet engines fading away as they would in a fly-over, they became louder still. Lana moved to the kitchen window, looking up at the reddish orange evening sky for the jets. They sounded SO close. She couldn't see anything, but the noise steadily increased until it sounded like the planes were mere feet above the house. One of the mugs shook from its peg, shattering against the sink. Lana instinctually rushed to prevent more from falling when suddenly the kitchen appliances jumped, sliding out of place when a tremor shook the house. Lana fell against the kitchen counter with a cry of shock.
"Oh, my God. A jet crashed!" Lana guessed immediately.
"Why here?" Skywarp asked in a quieter voice.
"Gotta start somewhere." Thundercracker tapped the roof of the two story house, "Besides, my scanners indicate there's just one female in here."
Shrugging, the black and violet Seeker swung his hand, swatting the roof and most of the second story right off of the house. Wood shrapnel and small human objects flew everywhere in a grim snow.
The black and purple Seeker gave a sinister smirk, "I love doing that."
Lana fell to the floor instinctually and covered her head when she heard the ear-splitting crash from upstairs. It sounded like the whole building was collapsing.
"What was THAT?" the young woman asked in a fearful high pitched voice.
Scrambling to her feet again she carefully trotted to the front door, hoping the whole building wasn't going to fall in on her. Just as she stepped off of the kitchen linoleum, an explosion of plaster, dust, wood, and insulation rained down upon her. Lana screamed and fell on her bottom, choking on the noxious dusty mixture. Through squinted eyelids she caught a glimpse of something big and black moving in the rubble and dust.
She just knew it was the jet. It had to be. The jet crashed and smashed through the roof of her house! She coughed, waving her hand to clear the air. Suddenly, the dry oppressive fog cleared briefly, revealing the true nature of the black object. It wasn't a jet. Poking down through the ceiling of her living room and resting on the floor was a gigantic metal hand! Lana blinked her irritated eyes, thinking her inhalation of the dust was making her hallucinate.
Was there asbestos in this insulation?
It wasn't until the fingers began blindly groping around on the carpet that she realized she wasn't imagining it. Whining and groaning mechanically the black digits crept around the room, knocking over anything they came into contact with.
Lana just sat on the kitchen floor, dumbstruck. Her mouth opened and closed like a landed fish, but no words issued forth. She wanted to scream, wanted to run, but her body wouldn't obey. After "investigating" the living room the metal fingers redirected toward the kitchen. Sweeping slowly and methodically across the floor the black digits crept closer to Lana. The strawberry blonde pushed herself backward across the linoleum until she was underneath the kitchen table, pressed to the furthest leg. Her breaths came in short frightened gasps as the fingers scraped the linoleum, bumping into the lower cabinets and then the range.
She couldn't hide under the kitchen table. She had to find a better place to conceal herself. But the hand barred her only escape, effectively cornering her. The forefinger brushed the table leg, shoving the entire piece of furniture into the wall. Lana scrambled to stay under it, hoping the hand would miss her if she moved to places it had already inspected. It was like playing a terrifying, twisted form of Battleship.
Then, the hand backed off and slowly slid back up through the hole, almost appearing to give up.
"Come on TC! Catching humans isn't THAT difficult." Skywarp complained as Thundercracker probed the human edifice.
The blue Seeker grunted with frustration, pulling his hand out, "I KNOW it's in here somewhere."
"Here. Let me show you how it's done." Skywarp insisted, shoving his wingman aside.
Lana heard the strangest sounds coming from above the house. It sounded like a deep rumbling mixed with sounds one would hear on a video game or space age computer. Even that couldn't begin to describe the sound. Lana had never heard anything like it in her life.
She was suddenly snapped out of her curiosity when the hand returned. But this was a different hand as it was colored a deep shade of purple. The new hand flipped over so its palm was flat against the ceiling. In one brief movement the hand powerfully ripped up the ceiling, sending more of the upstairs crashing down into the living room. Lana remained under the table, her only source of protection from the falling debris.
This hand's movements were quicker and more violent than the other, as if the owner of it was done messing around. Mercilessly the fingers punched holes in the walls and crushed the furniture like potato chips under the sofa cushions. The young woman had to bite her lip and close her eyes to keep from screaming as the giant, violet hand destroyed her house wall by wall.
Her mind kept up its mantra of questions, "What was it? What was it looking for? What did it want? Why was it here?"
In an instant the fingers finished with the living room and swooped over to the kitchen table, gripping the edges. The hand closed, reducing the table to splinters and exposing Lana. The terrified girl scrambled to her feet, slid underneath the purple hand, and ran down the hall as fast as she could. Like a striking snake the colossal hand swiped at her, smashing the framework of the hallway. As she dove into the laundry room at the end of the hallway the strange sounds boomed in her ears.
"SLAG! I almost had it!" Skywarp cursed, ramming his hand through the narrow hallway and utterly destroying it.
Thundercracker gripped the tall vent that made up his comrade's shoulder and pulled him back, "Easy, Warp! You're going to kill it."
Thundercracker cuffed Skywarp's head, "I want a pet, not a corpse."
"Fine! Catch your own fraggin' human." the purple and black Con huffed.
Bending over, Thundercracker assessed the wrecked layout of the house and determined the human female was hiding in the farthest section that hadn't been destroyed. He slowly moved around to the other side of the building and gripped the entire back wall with both hands. With one huge pull he ripped the wall away, exposing the house interior. The Decepticon tossed the wall away and crouched down on his knees, peeking inside. Just then a small, white, metal box fell out of the exposed building. He promptly caught it with one hand, procuring an unnatural high-pitched scream. Thundercracker held up the strange metal box and gave it a gentle shake.
"OW!" a small voice echoed inside it.
The blue Con smirked holding up the metal box. "Got it."
Skywarp made a confused face, "You idiot! That's not a human, that's a… umm…metal box thingy."
Thundercracker smiled and gave the box another gentle shake.
Skywarp then laughed with understanding, "Ha! It came prepackaged!"
Gripping the metal box firmly, Thundercracker activated his thrusters and shot off into the sky, his mission a success.