So I know I have 4 other fics out there that need my attention BUT 2 of them are coming to an end in less than 4 chapters. A little background info about this. Everything up until season 4 happened. You can either say Marissa died or she just never existed because she's not in this fic at all, never mentioned. Anyhow, Ryan and Taylor went to Berkeley where they started dting. At 23 they got married and at 25 they had their first child. They live in Newport in this chapter but the next will skip 10 years. It is a R/T fic so they do end up together it'll just take a while.
Life takes unexpected turns that you wish you control but you can't. Everything can be perfect one second and then the next you're sitting there in complete tears because everything went wrong. I guess that's where you can find me, or the reason why I'm slouched on the kitchen floor staring at my hands about to tell the love of my life that we are over. Tell him that I need to get away. I have to tell him he works too much and barely has enough time for our family. Most of all I have to tell him this eight months pregnant with our third daughter.
It's eleven pm now and I was supposed to be expecting him four hours ago. He's disappointed me, again. Which is should get used to since he hasn't been around much since I had gotten pregnant. I wish things didn't have to come down to this. I wish we could stay together like we had always dreamed of.
I'm pulled out of my thoughts as the front door to our large home open's and slams shuts. I know what's all about to happen as I shut my eyes slowly anticipating him walking into the kitchen seeing me on the floor. He doesn't though. I don't hear those familiar footsteps and I know he went straight to our room knowing that if the light was on at this time in the kitchen that I was in there. He was avoiding me and I knew it.
I carefully stood up from the floor and waddled my way out of the kitchen switching the light off as I left. He was sitting on our bed unbuttoning his shirt as I stood there in the doorway watching him. Even through everything he still makes me love him. He can still get me all riled up for no reason. But that just wasn't enough anything. I couldn't go on with him doing this to our family. I wouldn't have it.
That's why I had made the choice a month ago to look for a job in LA. I'm a child's psychologist, and there was this small place in LA that was looking for someone so I jumped at the opportunity knowing that leaving him here was the only way I would be able to go on. He doesn't look at me as he kicks off his shoes leaving them in front of him on the floor. I can't stand this so I walk over and put the shoes in the closet like I had told him to do numerous times before.
"What are you doing up?" He breaks the silence that was in the room. I put my hands on my stomach and glare at him. I don't know if I would have been so upset on any other day but today was special, today was our 7th anniversary. This day 7 years ago I married the man I loved and now I'm about to ask for a divorce.
"Where were you?" I ask taking a deep breath because our daughter had just decided to kick me in the bladder. He groaned and looked up at me like I was supposed to know where he was. Sure I knew he was probably working but I needed to hear him say it. I needed him to give me a good reason as to why he wasn't home when he said he would be. To be honest if he had remembered what today was I wouldn't be leaving him. I had it all planned out, the whole night. The girls were even with his parents where they would be until I'd pick them up the next afternoon.
"I'm going to bed." Is what he said to me. That wasn't the answer I wanted.
"I want a divorce." I'm pretty sure I caught him off guard because he had fallen off of the bed onto the floor. If it were any other moment I would have probably laughed at him.
"You what?" He stuttered his words.
"You heard me. I want a divorce. I'm packing tomorrow, the girls and I are moving to LA. We're through, Ryan." I couldn't look at him as I said this to him. I didn't want to see his face. I definitely didn't want to see what type of emotion his eyes were holding.
"You can't be serious." I could hear him get off of the floor as I made my way into the bathroom that was attached to our bedroom. "Dead serious. I think you should sleep on the couch tonight." I said all of this in the bathroom as I leaned my weight on the sink in front of me.
"Taylor, you can't do this." Oh, but I could. It's what I needed to do as much as I didn't want to. He had promised me months ago he would cut back on work and help with the girls but he had only got caught up more into his work leaving me to raise the girls basically on my own.
"Do you know what today is?" I walked over to the doorway. He was now sitting back in his position on the bed with his hands in his hair. He looked up and shook his head no.
"Go sleep on the couch." I pointed towards the door wanting him to leave the room immediately before I threw the vase that was sitting not two feet from me at his blonde head. He stood up abruptly grabbing a pillow and stumping out of our bedroom leaving me to break down just like I had the past four hours. I crawled into the bed and curled my body into as much of a ball as I could placing my hand on the roundness of my stomach.
"Everything's going to be okay." I whispered to myself and to the growing baby inside of me.
The next afternoon as I picked the girls up from the Cohen's I asked Sandy, Ryan's foster father, to talk. "What's going on?" He clapped his hands together as we reached his home office.
"I was wondering if you could help me divorce Ryan." I didn't look into his eyes as I said all of this. I knew his face had probably fallen or he hadn't really expected me to say that.
"Oh Taylor, are you sure?" I could hear the disapproval in his voice. I only nodded keeping my eyes to floor. I heard him take a deep breath as he put an arm around my shoulder
. "Did you talk to Ryan?" He asked me wearily.
"Yeah. I'm moving to LA with the girls. I have a job lined up for me already and I've been looking at houses." I said to him confidently so he knew this was all my decision.
"I'll help, Taylor but don't think I'm supporting this decision but knowing you I know you've thought it over already." He said to me.
I had thought it over and over again in my head. I spent most of my time thinking about it wishing that I could find a good valuable reason to stay besides I still love him and our daughters but it's just not enough to keep me there. I need the love returned, and lately I haven't felt that love returned. Maybe Ryan Atwood has fallen out of love with me, I'll never know.