Author's note: I may take this story down later only to improve it. It will be finished and so will some others that come after. I love stories. The credit for this song lyrics goes to September, and I can't get them out of my head. They are so good, please try their CDs and check out their MP3 songs to buy. They are so good.
Grace Nakimura: Adventure 1
Shrine Maiden, Guarding Endlessly
You'll never see me again
Someone esle will have to cry for you
You'll never see me again.
No matter what you do
Forever and ever
Oooo It's now or never.
Forever never comes around.
Forever and ever
It's now or never
Forever is gonna slow you down.
It was pretty cold during the sunrise, this area of France stayed pretty cold for a few hours until the sun warmed the area. But, it would happen soon and the humidity would be incredible. Grace was on a train heading out of Rennes-le-chateau glad for the train ticket and the chance to head out of this idiot place. She would need to reorganize some files on her laptop, including some e-mails from an old ffrind, Claudia Tate that was asking about getting together in three months for an unofficial high-school reunion. But, first she needed to go to Schloss Ritter to retrieve it. She would also look over some e-mail she received from a familiar name, Chandrel. That's where she was headed, and it was not a spur of the moment thing entirely. Shed planned on going whether Gabriel had wanted to or not. At least that was decided, and now she could move on to the next thing. Besides, she couldn't stay on hold and stay here forever. Grace stared out of the window, and then decided to fall back asleep. There was no reason to be awake now.
She slept. She didn't dream.
Grace was 26, it was time to move on anyway. It didn't matter about destiny, fate, or finding a new path. Over two years was too long to waste on any man, and the horror writer was no acceptation. Time to move on, even with pain, nah it was just that she felt like she'd lost something. But, she was gaining so much more just by getting away from here and traveling was one thing she loved.
She'd forget his name, after all what was it worth remembering. She thought about it for minute. No answer came to mind, so she decided to forget the entire thing.
Well, should I go back to New York to visit my parents and settle there after I go to India. I should check out going back to Harvard. It makes sense. Why not finish the work, only two more classes and it's done. At least I kept up my school work through correspondence courses and taking classes that substituted the credit.
She started thinking about two of her mentors, Dr Grigg and Professor Barkley. I wonder how Dr. Grigg is doing. He was always such a strange literature and history professor. I wonder how professor Barkly is doing. Ah, who cares, he wasn't that big an influence to me.
Michelle, how is she doing? I have to call her and it would be so nice to see the old group again. I wonder if Marissa ever joined the Hob Knob Society board in Huntington. No, Marissa Granger is much too smart to join an club of old money, rich idiots.
That's where I'll try to really get my life as my own. In Huntington. I will see what Chandrel is about, then go to New York after everything else, and head to Huntington. I wonder if Sara or Michelle would be my house mate. We've all been friends since we were kids, even when we're not around each other that much Maybe Claudia Tate still rents rooms out. That's another idea.
Grace was busy already leaving things behind. That was good, it was good to get rid of dead weight. And, she was glad she'd left a note for Mosley.
Mosley, since you are reading this it means I am gone, and it's for good this time. Thanks for the support and take care of yourself. Forget your crush on me, it never would have worked out, I just don't feel the way you do and you don't seem to know that.
Take care of yourself, and maybe I'll see you around. Take care of the horror writer, someone needs to keep him out of big trouble and help him out in investigations now that I am leaving. Say Hi to Gerde for me. And, say goodbye to Rebecca for me as well. I suppose I will see her again too some time in the future, but it's time for me to move on. I have decided to play lone wolf and teach myself and learn about real life for a change, as well as look into helping people. It makes sense, I can't spend the rest of my life in a library studying and doing research, although that is one of my goals. E-mail if you want, but I won't come back. By the way, you are a nice guy and nice guys do win first.
Follow your instincts for a change and don't try too hard to be something you aren't. Remember, to thine own self be true. And, change as you need, but I hope you get into the CIA. I can see it's something you want, so excel at what you need. I still hope I will see you someday at the New Orleans Police Department, it would be strange if you never returned there.
Say good-bye to the horror writer for me again. I have already decided to forget his name, as it helps. Like Agatha Christie once did, I am disappering. She was also jilted, but this was by her husband. He wanted to divorce her for another woman. It is one of the most amazing disapprances in the history of the world.
Don't e-mail what happened in the cave. I know it went well. Also, watch out for Madliene as she seems to have a thing for you too. I don't understand flirts. Perhaps I will learn now that I am already moving on.
Wish me luck,
P.S. I don't want to know about any future cases. I am on my own and I don' t wish to work with the horror writer again. But, good luck to the both of you, and stay close. You are like brothers and you need each other. Family, even when not biological, is important to hold on to. Trust me, I know.
She knew from personal experience because she had a good friend named Johnny Sanders that was like another brother to her. And, she had two life long friends, Claudia Tate, and Michelle Masterson, that she was very close too. They were best friends, and she did always stay in contact with them. Even if they did not see each other for a few months, they were still close. She e-mailed all three and two her grand parents, very hip with the inter-net and e-mail, that she was leaving Munich Germany to go to a remote city in India, Glassglow. It was would be a surprise to them, but she would call
Claudia and Michelle later to tell them what happened. Perhaps she would tell Johnny, but more than likely his immature brain, kept that way by choice would not fully absorb the situation.
Grace arrived in Munich just fine. She headed to Rittersburg very quickly after that. She briefly explained to Gerde that she was leaving for good and would be taking most of her possesions with her. Gerde wasn't able to read her expression, but she got the gist that Gabriel Knight had made a huge mistake that Grace could not forgive him for.
"I will help you pack, Grace." she said, tying her blonde hair back into a braid as the two packed some suitcases, knick knacks, and books together.
Grace thought to have half of it sent to her parents home, and decided to have it sent to her grandparents instead. Her Grandpa Sean and Grandma Reika would be much happier to take care of the packages until she returned home to the U.S. The rest she would take with her to Chandrel's place in India. She was looking forward to seeing India anyway, as she always meant to travel to several exotic and industrial countries around the world. What she didn't know was that she would no longer be playing Nancy Drew, but instead she'd be much like Alivra Meehan, one of her favorite characters designed by Mary Higgins Clark. She would have the one investigating and using information picked off of suspects and evidence to follow through with a conclusion of the entire truth surrounding a case and finding the true culprit. But, the crimes would be more un-natural mysteries than what she'd seen so far.
She'd once told Gabriel, "I just want to do something real." The reality would be more forthcoming than she could imagine, not destiny but she would be interacting with some unscrupulous characters.
It was time to grow more anyway, right now Grace wasn't sure who she was at all, but she was getting much closer to discovering more about her own identity.
After they had packed Grace prmised her friend, "Gerde, I will see you again. Just not for awhile."
"I see." Gerde sniffed. She was not ready for the change, but she knew Grace would not stay in one place forever.
"I'll e-mail you, and I'll send a few postcards and some care packages. I know a great recipe for those German choclate cookies we never got to try. I may even send you some copies of my favorite puzzle games if you can't find them here in Germany."
Gerde hugged Grace and they bid a good time consoling each other. But, not too long, as she did not want a certain Shadow Hunter to come in and try to change her mind.
Grace had learned a long time ago from her parents and maternal grand-parents the difference between a need and a want. A need was something you needed for survival, like food and water. A want was defined by trying to have something in your life and trying to gain and keep it. Gabriel Knight had been a want, not a need. Grace wasn't going to lose air to breathe or food to eat by not having him around.
"Well, I'm ready to go, Gerde." Grace shook Gerde's hand.
"We had a lot of fun and plenty of time to make things hard on everyone around us, eh Grace?" Gerde said. "I'll remember that practical joke you taught me for putting a bucket full of water above a door. In fact, it will be the first thing that happens to Gabriel when he comes back."
Grace laughed at the idea. It wasn't really right to seek revenge, just the entire idea was so funny.
Grace finished giggling. "At least hand him a towel afterwards, it would only be civil. Then slap him with it and tell him to start doing his own dang research." Grace snarled.
"But, what happened?" Gerde asked.
"Just ask him. I'm sure he can tell you how he thinks I'm a chastity belt. I think I'll get one myself and, for my next boyfriend. It's about time I started looking for a responsible guy, one I can have the real thing with.
"What real thing?" Gerde asked and she quickly realized what her friend meant. "Oh you mean love."
"Not just that Gerde, but emotional and mental support. Maybe I'll even find someone my parents like, but I won't hold my breathe or worry too much about it."
"Not, goodbye Gerde. I'll see you later." Grace said as they shook hands one last time and parted as friends, not working partners.
Grace was at the Munich airport quickly, but she'd done some work on herself first. She decided besides changing her life, she was ready to really change. She'd gotten some deep brown and blue-black highlights done to her hair. It brought out her eyes and made her look hair look fuller. She was determined to grow out her hair a bit and have one of her best friends, Michelle show her how to do lots of original hairstyles. The new look must have suited her, it looked natural and was an umprovement for her. She just needed to feel like a new person, which seemed to meet with approbal as several people stopped to stare at her in wonder, but not in an unfriendly way.
She reread the e-mails she'd gotten on her laptop. Chandrel had responded to her first email
I am pleased with your request to come and stay here for a few weeks, but you never know. You may be here for a shorter period then months from now as there are many paths to follow in hunting and striking against monsters that threaten people and the very sanity of people.
I am sorry to see that friend of yours is not interested in coming. Perhaps he needs time to adjust to being in large postion of responsibility. Every person will pace a path or a way of life differently because of ego, personality, beliefs, and honor.
I am glad you are coming and you may stay as long as you wish. I and my good friends will try to teach you as much as possible, but you must remember it is you that are always in control of your life and the way you live it.
"Well, no kidding Chandrel." Grace said thoughtfully. "I'm the one that has to be responsible for me. To thine own self be true and all that."
The letter continued. This is a wonderful occasion and you are welcomed with open arms. Come when you are ready. This place is not going to suddenly disapper. Ha,ha.
Grace was surprised by the wit and the sense of humor Chandrel had. Not knowing who to expect, she decided to go out to India on a nonstop trip and to then do something she'd thought about for a long time. On her return to the Europe, she'd take the Orient Express across to France and leave from there to the U.S.
She called her mom to give her the news that would please her, but it was not intended that way from Grace's heart.
"Hello." Kim Nakimura answered the phone.
"Hi, Mom." Grace said in a friendly way. "I have a surprise for you. I've decided to quit my job with Mr. Knight." that name made her feel tired, as she let the blood drain from her face again. Stress was so unbecoming to her. At least she was not heart sick it was just the emotional sickness that made her feel unwell.
"That's good, honey." her mom said with warmth. "So, do you want to meet that student I told you about."
"Maybe later when I come home. I'm going to take an educational trip to India and head home on the Orient Express in a few weeks. I want to enjoy a vacation, and I was wondering if you think working in charities will help me work in a historical society."
Taken aback from her daughter's explicit plans, Kim said "I suppose. Are you interested in charity work?"
"Yes and no. But, I wouldn't mind working around historical records; I want to do things in real life not live through the books I read; or keep daydreaming. And, how is Taylor."
Taylor was Grace's older brother, married with triplets. She loved the kids but something was wrong with her neieces and nephew. They became so interiested in things that weren't there, although her family had this odd idea that the children could see something others could not. Perhaps spirits. Of course, she did not believe that, but there was plenty of asian horror films made all over Japan, Thailand, China, and North and South Korea that talked about people seeing ghosts or being involved in loads of different stories. Her parents believed many of them. She was glad she was sane, unlike her parents.
"Taylor and his wife are fine. In fact the triplets stayed with us last week. You have to call them, they miss their aunt."
"I will. I have to go Mom, my flight is going to take off soon. I'll call you again soon."
"Very, good. Goodbye dear. I love you."
"I love you too." Grace was surprised by her Mom's sudden affection, perhaps happy her daughter seemed to be obedient, but maybe that wasn't it. Grace hung up and called her grandpa.
"Hello, how's my favorite granddaughter?"
"Hi, Grandpa Sean. And, I'm your only granddaughter so I better be your favorite. I'm going to India for awhile and I will be back in the States to come see you. I really have missed you."
Grace was into family, but she was more suited with her maternal grandparents since they were not as formal or dare she say it, as snobby as her parents. "I really need to see you when I get home. How about I take you and grandma out for some seafood?"
Sean Randall laughed. "That will be perfect, but we have to go somewhere with extra hush puppies."
"I'm all for the extra hush puppies and some calamari. We might even persuade Mom and Dad to go to Red Lobster. They can't always want to eat at super-expensive restaurants."
"You sound a bit sad, sweetie. What's wrong?" Grace was surprised her grandpa could tell something was wrong. Perhaps, she was trying too fast to get away from here soon as possible. It was psychically and emotionally stressful. Even though her grandpa would judge her, she told him everything. Her emotions, her attraction, her supposed love, and the events of Rennes le Chateau. Of course it was a sensible retelling, not some smut that was the sort of things Knight wrote about.
Her Grandpa already knew about the Voodoo Murders and the Werewolf case. She couldn't keep that all in without telling someone else. Heck, Claudia, Michelle and Oslo knew in one form or another, especially Claudia Tate, one of Grace's best friends. She came from a long line of people with some mental ability, they could get into people's line of thinking or figure out something odd before anyone else. And, Claudia's great something or other Grandfather had investigated and researched monsters and folklore that was rare or had been changed over the years.
Back to her current situation, her Grandpa said "Well, I think you did the right thing leaving. There's no reason to stay around a man that continues to use you, and I'm sorry you got carried away with the moment Grace, but we all take chances. Just don't let yourself get into the habit of sleeping around, it sometimes destroys people's bodies with all the sexually transmitted diseases we have around. But, really dear it does a number on people's minds or heart when they like or fall in love with whoever they are with. It can be draining chasing so many loves around town."
That was something else she would have to do. She should get a blood test done. It was a good precaution.
"I know it was the right thing to do Grandpa. And, it was just taking a chance. I can't believe I thought that man respected me or even cared. I guess fantasy didn't become reality. Besides, how could I be so gullible?"
"Grandpa knows best, and if you need to find a nice young man, your grandma and I will steer your parents in the right direction. Prestige and power do not make a good boyfriend, especially if they don't work for themselves."
"I'm not ready for a guy yet."
"It will be coming though. I will talk to you later sweetie. Your grandma is ready to go for a walk."
"Buy her some flowers." Grace whispered. "She loves that."
"I will, love you Grace."
"Same here." Someday, Grace was determined to have what her grandparents had. That was the kind of healthy relationship everyone needed, to be close to someone and not try to change them. You had to accept someone for who they were if you wanted to make a relationship or a marriage last. And, she was certainly not interested in doing that with that horror writer of trashy novels.
Grace picked up a copy of the Vampire Dairies 1 and 2 by L.J. Smith for the ride to India. She'd heard about the books, but had hesitated to buy them. The first book turned out to be one of the better books she read. She was absorbed into the story of Elena and her relationship with the new boy at her high school, Stefan. But, there was also Damon his brother and a large secret. It was mostly a teenage horror novel, but sometimes she preferred those as they were not gory and full of violence like the adult horror novels. Some of them put so much enthusiasm into people falling into bed together, as if they were in love. She simply didn't believe that was possible or that people were truly doing that out of love.
Grace woke up several hours later, and brushed off her red pencil skirt and brown shirt. She grabbed her carry on and hurried to the line to grab her bags and two boxes from baggage claim. She had done her research on the monastery already and sought to buy a map, after all there was no time to worry about getting there. She was glad she'd grabbed her own lap top computer from Schloss Ritter, it was her own personal space and it did have most of the information from Sidney on it. Grace distinctly changed the files to reflect her new situation. Her screen saver was of a starry sky and spaceships and meteors passing by. Her program read research data base, the name SIDNEY did not appear until the program was opened. In fact, Grace was curious about something.
She typed "new path" into the description window.
-No entries could be found to match your search.
-Frederick Von Glower
Grace entered this quickly into the window.
-Frederick Von Glower was a man with loads of charisma and maNy charms that was involved with the werewolf case. He was a friend to Gabriel Kn……
Grace shut down the program.
Enough with that name already. Sheesh, is that name, those words everywhere all at once, all the time.
She said the words that needed to be said. And, no more tearing up, shock, or acting like a woman that had just lost her dearest friend or her husband.
"Goodbye, Gabriel Knight!"
There that wasn't terrible, and it was fun. Oh, yes that was fun, I've lifted some imaginary chains or weight off my shoulders. I feel great, and free.
(To borrow from V.C. Andrews) Now she'd had her pound of flesh and she was free. Yes, it was over, at least it was beginning to be over.
Grace got a driver, who did speak English, even though she was good with the local language, to take her to the monastery. Actually it looked like any other old building, and it was cool inside. It didn't look like the drawing or photo of a monastery, looking unique as a white and some sandy color.
"Hello, miss." said a friendly young man standing next to another young woman. He was of course speaking in a local language, perhaps a local dialect, but she understood him.
"Hello, I believe I was expected. My name is Grace Nakimura and I sent word ahead in an email to Chandrel." Grace said speaking each word calmly.
"Yes, I know who you are." the man smiled. "I am Gusto, that's just my nickname. It's really Gustove. This young lady is Alma. She just came to practice some more for her final test."
"Hello, ma'am." Alma said. She hardily looked in Grace's direction. Grace did care about friendly or unfriendly people at this time.
A nice surprise, the monks came out and following them were small temple dogs. They were Shih Zhus and Lhasa Apsos. They were all colors and ages, some of the puppies jumping up on the adults in a despite try to play with them.
Grace's heart melted, this sight was so beautiful and exciting. She'd even owned a small Shih when she'd been a child, and it had not been a sissy dog. The young dog had thought it was a large big dog and had bossed her and her parents around, a trait all the breed shared. The dogs were at home.
They came out running and barking to announce they saw strangers to the temple. They ran toward Grace and Alma, but they stopped before they reached them, sitting or barking next to the monks.
There were only seven monks, but their entourage of Shih Zhus and other trainees made them look like a bigger group. Chandrel recognized Grace and stepped out to greet her.
"Hello, Grace. It is good to meet you."
"Hi, Chandrel. It's good to finally meet you. You never told me you had guard dogs for the temple. They are all so lovely. I've always loved the little lions and the dogs with hearts of lions."
"Yes, they are hard to care for as they demand more attention then our studies and meditation. But, as their name means the Shih Zhus are little lions, while the Lhasas are lion-hearted and they show it. They are very loyal to us. But, let's go inside and get you settled in."
Grace asked questions on the temple and the dogs while enjoying the mid-day meal, at least for her. While the monks and visitors enjoyed their own vegetarian diet they also ate nuts, some bread, and even a few sweets. As long as it stayed within their diet, so Grace wasn't going to get a steak for a long time. She didn't care, she was just glad to be here now.
"What sort of idea did you have in mind for becoming someone that investigates un-natural mysteries?"
"Helping people." Grace said quickly. "I'm not sure what that means anymore."
Chandrel nodded. "We'll see what you think. You are Buddhist so we will be doing daily meditations. We would be doing that anyway. And, you have a robe to wear over your own clothing. We have a uniform look here, but that is based on our belief to give up on wanting things that have no meaning to us, like lots of money, toys, and other gadgets we don't need. But, we are living in the modern times, as we do have computers and we do stay in contact with the outside world."
"Chandrel, I came on a website that discussed something rather disturbing." Grace said. "Is it true there were Shinto rituals that were banned and were nothing but sacrifices that gained harvests and money for villagers? I don't know a lot of strange history of Japan, where my family is from. These stories sound too odd to believe. Would anyone have thrown people into pits to appease something called malice to live with a bountiful harvest or to seal off a gate to the Japanese version of the after life. That makes no sense. Why not just move?"
"Well, you'll be learning all the time what we are doing here. And, you did want to touch base with yourself and live for something else then just running around doing research."
"Yes, that is true." Grace said.
She set up her email account, a new one. She did not want any contact with her old place in Rittersburg, but with Gerde of course.
She moved all her friends, family, Chandrel, and Gerde to her new account. She logged on to her old account to take all the important emails and print out anything she wanted to save.
She saved a few emails here and there, printed out some funny memories shared over the internet with her friends, and set up turning it off.
There was an email of Gerde. What surprised her was there was an email that shouldn't be there.
Well, that email could be deleted. She started to delete it and she decided it wasn't worth it. She saved the email as "Annoying message". And, left it where it was. It would stay in a folder titled "Things to forget". She didn't bother to read it.
There was also an email from Mosley.
I got your note you left. Thanks a ton, I hope I see you in New Orleans sometime in the future too. I don't think I'm going to make it into the CIA, but it was nice to have tried.
We had some fun huh? Well, since you seem to know I do like you but you aren't interested, do you have a sister? Maybe a cousin? I'm not desperate but you have a good judge of character.
I won't mention the "horror writer" by name to save your feelings, but there's something you should know. It's important. He's real upset, heck he even dumped Madeleine on her butt. She's mad he won't talk to her now.
Are you sure you don't want to know how this case has ended?
Grace emailed him back.
I'm sorry if he's upset and its funny he wants little to do with Maddy, but so what? I have a lot of living to do and I don't have time for this. You saw how he treated me. Forget it. It's already in the past. I'm not mad anymore, well a little. I need room for me, I can't live and try to help someone that really doesn't want to change. Besides, I need a change, it was going to happen come fall. I have a degree to finish and I always finish what I start. I love history, but I love living too.
Do not weep for me when I am gone.
At least that's how it starts out. Please tell him to forget about me, I'm fine. I won't have anything else to say. "Goodbye is all I can say. Enjoy your life, it's so very you." was a good enough note.
There's nothing more to say. Give my love to Gerde. No, I don't care how the case ended. I know it ended well. Tell Emilio that he is wrong about fate and destiny. There is no such thing, nothing is seen in the future or made up on a path for you to follow.
I simply don't believe that. We find our own way to a path, road, river, and whatever you call it. Hey, you have your own to follow, so go find it. Now, today and don't wait. Live for the moment if you must, but try to enjoy the future too. I'm trying to live to live in the moment, although I think I have before. I wonder if my boyfriend from high school, Mark Kusabi is still available.
Watch out for Maddy. She reminds me of someone I know. There's this girl I went to high school named Edie Story, that was always flirting and she was half of what she wanted to be. She's married now and still is the big drama queen of town. People call her "Love Story" because that's what she isa utliate fan of , love stories fiction and fact.
She kept her maiden name and she's bossier than any stubborn mule you will find. But, her husband gives her what she wants. There's in a relationship of love with a business relationship mixed in because of there weird life of riches and privilege. Hob knobs. They are weird.
Good times and good luck,
P.S. You might have seen Love Story in the paper. She and her husband go to New Orleans four times a year. They love to party and love to get away from other snobs from their hometown.
Mosley was mostly dealing with the situation of this craziness. He had no clue his best friend had the gift, or some way of seeing things going on in the present and in the past. It was quite bizarre.
He was bringing a hot cup of black coffee upstairs with a mug of his own. Gabriel had not left the hotel room since the day before. He also brought up a paper, just in case any interesting had happened.
There was that French maid again. Did they really wear those ridiculously short skirts? Too odd for words, it looked just like the outfit from every murder mystery you could think of.
He knocked on the door and looked around. No Maddy this time, or those other snoopy women. Sheesh Lady Howard must be crazy to wonder what happened to the woman she had not even really noticed. She had hardly liked Grace, but Lily Howard had to keep asking where the young lady had gone. Crazy.
"Gabriel, you wanker open the door. You need to have some coffee and then we'll go out for food. I'm not letting you go through this without remembering to live in the real world. You still have to eat."
The door opened without any fanfare. "Well, it's nice to see you too." Mosley said, in his normal voice.
"By the way, I got an email from Grace. You should read it. There's another one after that."
Mosley used the laptop in the hotel room to call up his account and show the two emails from Grace. He highlighted the first one.
"See, she's okay. I don't think she's even completely destroyed. And, I was right, she hightailed it to India, so there was no way you could have stopped her in Germany."
"But, she was still at Schloss Ritter." Gabriel said. The tone was flat, not his normal voice or even close to any tone he ever used. "I called there and Gerde told me that Grace packed up most of things."
"I'm sorry, bud. But, she's just hurt. She needs time, and I don't know why, but she does."
Gabriel got up and read the first email. It was very sad that Grace was just brushing off everything.
"You think she has a selective memory, or is she just an ice queen?" Gabriel asked, angrily and hurt. "Forget, it. I'm still going to find her. I have to."
"Are you sure, you really feel the way you feel?" Mosley asked. "It could just be in your head. I why didn't you just ask her out. You just treat her so oddly. You shouldn't have treated her with kid gloves. And, you should have talked to her after you woke up."
"Shoulda, woulda, coulda don't mean much now." Gabriel moaned.
"Just drink your coffee." Mosely said. "I'm sorry if I sound really hard on you. Grace wrote me to take care of you, and I'm trying man. Hey, who else would you rely on."
Gabriel was silent.
"Just check out the last email." Mosely said.
I need to do this, I have always been doing things. Things I want to do, and they were what my parents wanted had to do with my education. I need something real, I need something that's mine.
I'm striking out to pursue what I want. I'm sorry but the frustation of trying to help somebody try to reach a new way of thinking just is not for me. The horror writer doesn't want to learn anymore and I've grown restless of this game. I also need my friends. I haven't seen them in so long. I'm sorry but going to see them last winter for Christmas with my parents is not enough.
I need my grandparents, there's only so much time to see them. I want to spend more time with them. I'm too young to be tied down to something that has lost its meaning, research only goes so far and the Schajaggers and the Ritter family can't keep me going.
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am. I mean, read me as I am. I can't stay. It's time to move on. There's so much going on and I haven't joining in. It's time to live life for me, not hold on to the old things…..
Can't explain the rest, it's just my need to be me. I don't know who I am all the time. I think what am I doing here in this castle when I could be going to see a new movie with Gerde and Michelle. And, Michelle has never even been to Rittersburg because she's been too busy. I miss my family, they are my family, not just my friends. And, they need me. I need my old group, the ones that were always there before the Voodoo Murders, before New Orleans.
I need me. I need to be myself and not have to hold my temper or go be told to go with the flow. I can't do that anymore. The flow isn't there for me now, and my heart is betrayed. It betrayed me. I need more space and much more of my own way of doing things.
There's just no other way to write this. Why do I explain? Because I love to explain, and I don't think any of you really understand what I'm doing. Don't try to understand because you might just get a headache.
So, this is me signing off. I'm off to other things, and don't worry. Maybe I'll be in touch someday, but we'll see. Oh, heck we'll have to see each other again, this world is so small. Stay out of trouble.
As for sisters I have none, but I do have a few good friends. Maybe I'll give them your number, I have one acquiatnace that seems way too interested in you, but that's a story for another time.
P.S. I tripped baddily today, so maybe I should change my name to Accident Prone Nakimura. Another thing you wouldn't have known about me, I don't believe in soul mates. It was made up because someone had to think up a reason why women and men get hitched and have whatever happen to them. It's some belief the Greeks or rRmans latched on too, I think.
Mosley laughed reading the email again "See, that's a funny joke. Change her name to Accident Prone." His tone wasn't humorous enough, but it would have to do.
"Can I keep these emails?" Gabriel asked.
"Sure, I'm sure they will be a comfort. Look let the girl, I mean lady go for awhile. But, yes you do need to find her. If you really are crazy about her, get her back. But, do it on her terms. And, you didn't screw up that much compared to me. I thought everything in my marriage was peachy keen and drama free, but boy did Annie give me an earful when we were having the worst trouble."
"I'm not helping, huh." Mosely said. "Well, let's head out for some grub. There's got to be somewhere to eat besides this stupid hotel."
"I'd say so. The food here isn't fit for an iron cast stomch." Gabriel tired a lame joke. It was good to see he was still thinking the same philosophy.
"Man you suck at philosophy." Mosely laughed.
Gabriel saved the emails. It was the last piece of Grace he had. If you could call it a piece, as it was only words, and words had little meaning now.
"She didn't even respond to my email." Gabriel realized and said it out loud.
"I'm sorry, Gabe." Mosely said in apology. "You saw that she said her heart betrayed her. I think she's giving herself most of the blame. You two just move way too fast for each other. Maybe you two aren't ready for a realitionship."
Gabriel glared at him.
"Giving me that 'Shut the heck up look' won't work. It's not gonna make you feel better." Mosely said. "Just get ready and I'll see you downstaris. Hey, if Maddy comes by we'll make fun of her again. Especially that haughty attitude and accent, acting like she's too smart or beautiful to hang out with you and then she turns on the charm."
"Sorta of like this dirt bag here." Gabriel said about himself.
"No way. You've never lowered yourself to her standards." Mosely said with reassuress and the warmth of friendship. "I know you man. You've always been better than that. Trust me."