Quickie Note: This was originally written as a sort of character introduction for Matt in an RP I'm going to be in. But the original version of this story was very long and rather dry... However, this version I'm posting on this website has been cleaned up and shortened so that it reads more like a true fan fiction, all the fun parts and not so much heavy otherwise useless background info... the focus is more on Matt and Mello becoming friends, and less on Matt's past according to me. So just keep in mind while you read this that this still has my opinions on Matt (and his mother) since there never really was much info on the boy.
Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata... not me... the only thing I can take credit for is what little info there is in this about Matt's mother...
with that said...
"I'll Follow You into the Dark"
Death Note Fiction
"Distant, anti-social…" a soft voice in the stillness, barely above a whisper. "He won't make eye contact? Does he speak when he is asked anything?"
"No. I'm afraid he hasn't said a word since…" A deeper, somewhat more experienced voice whispered back but then faded off to silence.
Silence filled the space, seemingly slowing time. "I over heard someone say he has possible suicidal tendencies…" Dark eyes flickered briefly over to the older man standing a few feet away.
A heavy sigh answered. It was enough; the dark haired teen could see it himself in the child sitting at the other end of the hall, huddled tightly against the wall in the corner. Deep crimson hair hiding the pain weary eyes; head bent forward over the small handheld gaming device. The look of a frightened, confused, lonely child that did not want to admit to the suffering he felt.
"He just sits there, everyday, playing that game and ignoring everything around him." The older voice finally broke the stillness again.
"Of course." The young man whispered, "Wrapping up in something comfortable and reassuring. Using a fantasy world, or a puzzle, to escape even for just a moment. To escape the pain, the memories, as well as the possibility of opening one's self to more suffering."
"Is that experience speaking?" The gentle old voice spoke with a strange sort of saddened amusement.
The younger man didn't make any sort of motion that he had even heard; perhaps it was a blatant refusal to answer on his part. He simply brushed his fingernail over his lip and continued to watch the child, to study him.
After a moment dark eyes flickered back to the old gentleman, "I want to check on something…" then without a sound the he turned and walked away.
It was true, the torment, and the pain. All those dark shadows hiding within the small form of a redheaded child, the wisps of nightmares haunting even his waking moments, the once beautiful memories eating away at his life.
Mail Jeevas was the newest resident of Wammy's House, an orphanage built for children with exceptional intellect. So many children, yet he found himself alone in this place, his very existence torn away from him the moment he lost the only person that was dear to him.
He had never known his father, but that didn't matter to him. However, his mother had been his world, his life, and nothing could ever replace her. She was his light, his everything, the only constant in his short seven years… And now she was gone… Yet her beautiful smiling face now haunted him, along with the knowledge that he'd never feel her warm touch, her gentle calming embraces.
She died for him. She died protecting him. He was left with nothing but the pain and knowledge that if it weren't for him perhaps she would still live.
Despair would sink its icy claws into his flesh, gripping his heart and squeezing it until he wished it would stop beating. Perhaps then he'd know peace once again; maybe then the pain wouldn't follow and torment him any longer.
Perhaps that dark way of thinking had a way of showing itself to those around him. Maybe that hidden darkness is what had fueled the prattling voices from behind closed doors and around corners. The whispered words he barely understood but knew full well the malevolence behind them, "Anti-social, traumatized, distant…" or that one line he could barely catch as their voices dropped lower "possible suicidal tendencies, and at such a young age." They chattered like hens, pointing at him slightly and pretending to be talking about something other than his problems; his social issues. Their gossip flagged as concern, yet was more like something to entertain themselves rather than help him.
He ignored them just as he tried to ignore the pain. He submerged himself in the intricate plots of his small hand held video games. Blocking out everything but the fantasy resting in his small hands. He didn't care what others thought; he wanted nothing to do with any of them, the only thing he allowed himself to care about was his little hand held fantasy.
This path seemed to go against his very nature, to break his heart even more, though he tried to deny it. He had always been an affectionate child, sympathetic to the feelings of others. He enjoyed being around people, being needed and wanted. Loved. Yet now he buried himself in the shadows of hallway corners, hiding from the touch of others. Never looking up at the children that would walk by. Afraid to let anyone near him, afraid of the loss if he should dare let someone close again. That painful void his mother left was too great to bear, he couldn't allow more to possibly sneak its way in. It would kill him.
So he sat in the shadows, trying to escape the despair and not allowing any one close to his carefully concealed yet broken heart.
But then something unusual happened.
The children were running outside, never even stopping to glance at the small child that sat in the corner just like any other day. Matt was ignored as usual for he ignored the world and everyone in it. And yet something was bothering him today, he felt a strange tingle prickling at the small spot between his shoulders as he focus on his game. It grew in intensity until he could no longer bare it. Dark green eyes shifted from the glowing screen, peering out beneath the curtain of red hair that shadowed them.
A teenage boy with wild black hair sat on his heels before the small child and his game, his knees pulled up under his chin in what looked like a terribly uncomfortable squat. The young man chewed lightly on his thumb, a small smile twisting its way across his lips as he examined the little boy that had been labeled as 'traumatized and distant'.
Then all too suddenly the young man stood and slouched away down the hall, leaving the little one alone with his digital companions once again.
Matt blinked staring after him, and then shook his head crimson locks swaying as he returned his gaze back to the small glowing screen in his hands. It was a brief interruption soon forgotten in the plot of his own little world, he just shrugged it off and wasn't even aware of the time that passed since the oddity.
"Hey..." a small but commanding voice called to him as he continued his game, never bothering to look up at the source of the new interruption.
"Hey, dumb-butt I'm talking to you!" The voice commanded again, this time catching his attention and forcing him to make eye contact with the new comer.
A little boy, about his same age, with shoulder length blonde hair glared at him, small hands resting on his black clad hips in a pose of perfect defiance. "What are you doing? Why don't you come play with anyone?" The question seemed innocent enough, except the tone in the blonde boy's voice seemed to drip with disdain for pretty much life in general.
Matt didn't answer; in the rare occasion someone did speak to him he simply denied their very existence and continued ignoring them. His eyes lowered once again to the screen before him; this small action seemed to send the other child over the edge.
"HEY! I'm talking here, you can at least ANSWER me!" he snarled taking a few steps closer and leaning over to try and force Matt to listen.
"Leave me alone..." They were the first words Matt had spoken to anyone in this new place he was being forced to call home. His eyes still remained glued to the screen that continued to beep and chirp at the constant pressure of little fingers across the buttons.
Without warning the game was ripped from his hands, he barely even had time to blink, "Hey!" Matt watched as the slightly older blonde boy held his Game Boy out and inspected it as though it where something he'd really rather not be touching.
"How can you play this ALL day? It's stupid..." the blonde snickered; a mischievous glint flitted across his face.
"It is NOT stupid!" The rest of his words froze, the insult he wanted to pelt at the other boy suddenly stuck in his mouth as all coherent thought drained from his head. Even his anger shifted into something worse, a sick knot of fear quickly formed in his stomach as he saw a small finger sliding over the off switch of his GB Advance.
"DON'T! I HAVEN'T SAVED!!" Matt squealed, his voice cracking at the thought of losing so many hours of work. It was like killing them all, the only ones he still felt anything for.
"This silly game is that important to you?" the boy's head tilted to the side, very much like a little yellow bird, blonde layers of hair falling across his face nearly masking the sadistic little twinkle of amusement behind his dark eyes.
Time seemed to freeze while they stared each other down for what seemed like an eternity. Matt pleaded without saying a word, the horror written all over his face, while the young blonde seemed to revel in his misery for a spell. It ended with a simple 'click'. The glowing screen made a faint hiss noise and then shut down.
An eerie silence filled the hall for a moment of time, only to be shattered like a thin piece of glass by a horrified shriek. The cry echoed down the hall, sounding very much like that of an enraged little cat.
The next thing the blonde knew he was floating in mid air for a brief second before the force that had slammed into him brought him to the ground hard. His head connected with the hard wood flooring sending a painful throbbing shock throughout his skull making his eyes cross. It only took a second before his senses came back; he pulled his leg up planting his foot square in the middle of Matt's chest and shoved him back with all the force he could manage.
Matt fell back on his tail bone and skidded to a stop a few feet away, he scrambled to stand up, only to find a fist connect with his cheek and send him back to the ground again.
"You shouldn't mess with me, kid, I'm the best...eh!" the threat caught in the boy's throat as Matt hooked the back of the other child's leg with his foot and brought him down as well.
Matt tackled him again, this time landing a punch of his own square in the middle of the other boy's jaw. But his next swing was stopped as the other swiftly caught the throw in his palm, all the while positioning his foot to fling Matt over like a rag doll yet again.
They scrambled, bit, punched, kicked, scratched and over all ripped into each other until something odd happened. Laughter began to replace the snarls and growls of two small boys trying to kill each other. It finally ended with the blonde boy sitting on Matt's chest as they both began laughing hysterically, despite the pain and lack of air in their lungs.
"BOYS!!" An older man gasped as he walked out into the hall, greeted by the site of the two bloody and bruised looking children laughing like hyena pups.
"What on earth happened here?!" He pulled them both two their feet, examining the damage they had inflicted upon each other. Both of them were a bloody mess, already sporting matching black eyes. He shot the blonde an exhausted look "Mello, what happened now?"
Mello looked as though he was about to say something, when his eye twitched and he seemed a little too preoccupied with something in his mouth. A second later he leaned over, spitting out a bloody tooth. "Tch, I thought that was loose..." he turned looking at Matt and grinned, his left canine missing now.
"Matt, did he start this?" The question was frank, cutting off the chuckle that had escaped Matt. Obviously the man questioning them had ideas about what had happened already but merely wanted a witness to confirm it.
There was a moment of silence; Mello eyed Matt out of the corner of his eye.
"No..." Matt blinked a look of bewilderment on his face; As though he hadn't a clue what the man had been talking about. It truly seemed to startle the older man.
"Then... YOU did?" The old man didn't seem willing to accept this at all; obviously this 'Mello' had created a reputation already.
"No! I didn't!" Matt countered quickly.
"Then who started this!?" The man asked once again, exasperation creasing the lines of his mouth.
"It was... The one armed man!" Matt cooed, wiggling his fingers like that statement was the mystic answer to all questions, receiving a snort from his 'partner in crime'.
"All right boys, if you're going to be funny, you can sit over in that corner until you're ready to tell me who started this fight." The man's voice was commanding but tired sounding. The command hindered when he let out an exasperated sigh while he pointed to the same corner Matt had been playing his game in, ushering them to their seats where they would be spending the time with their noses to the wall.
"Sheeeeeesh, Roger, you need to chill... You know you're not young anymore." Mello snorted as he scuffed the floor along the way.
"Mello... Eight year olds should not speak to their elders in such a way." Roger sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose; he seemed to have the patience of a saint but it was being tried.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever..." Mello growled as he plunked down next to Matt in the corner.
They sat alone in silence for a while, staring at the cracks between the floorboards. It was odd, the feeling that began to wash over Matt, he never thought he'd be happy just having someone to sit with. He'd never let anyone in, never wanted anyone around since he lost his mother. He had simply wanted to resign himself to nothingness and fade away, and here this boy just walked into his life and turned it upside down once more. He forced him to see that this was all just a way of escape, just to keep from being close to someone.
All this time he'd been afraid to let anyone be close, afraid of the pain he'd feel if they were taken from him just like his mother. And yet he needed someone, a friend… to be there in dark times and remind him that he still had so much life ahead of him that was worth every minute of living. That someone took the form of a small blonde child that found him in the darkness then beat the living sense into him.
It wasn't too long before a quiet voice echoed in the hallway, "I'm Mail Jeevas..." Matt stated as he poked at some unseen speck on the floor near his foot, then rubbed at the spot of blood under his nose with his striped sleeve, sniffling.
Mello stared at him for a second then grinned despite the pain the expression gave him, revealing the missing tooth again.
Further down the hallway, the same teenage boy with the wild black hair finally retreated from peeking around the corner at the two children. He smiled as he sauntered back to his room, inwardly pleased with himself for pointing Mello down that hallway.
"You think that was such a good idea… L?" That gentle older voice called from behind, bringing the teenage boy to a stop.
L stood for a moment with a slightly hunched posture; he stared at the ceiling for a moment as he tapped his index finger against his bottom lip, "Yes." His eyes then fell back to the old man. The one who had brought Matt to the Orphanage. "Watari, the percentages are quite high that all they needed was each other."
"Mello? Are you quite sure that he is such a great influence for Matt?" Watari couldn't fight the smile; he could see the future storms brewing already.
"Perhaps they will influence each other." L smiled and then turned to walk away "Like a small light in the darkness."
"How is that?" Watari asked intrigued by the odd comment that had escaped the youth.
"The smallest light shines brightest in the darkness, I heard someone say that a long time ago." L paused looking back. "The light needs darkness to shine, and the darkness needs the light to create shadow." A smile flitted across his face as he turned back, "Everything is fine now."
-I'll Follow You Into the Dark-
Matt was no longer alone; a hand clasped his tightly in the darkness that surrounded them as they walked along the narrow path towards whatever trials they would have to face... together.
Thank you for reading, I hope you liked it! :) and for those who like my DN fics there's more soon...
Hmmm... I do believe this is my second Death Note fic... heh, I've got so many I lost track. Well "L is Love" is the first... this I think was the second... I hope you will look forward to "Cigarettes and Melted Easter Eggs" if you like Matt and Mello fics... and "The Death of Mr. Bunny" Set in Wammy's House with all the boys... well I'll keave it at that.. visit my main page for a list of my fics to come.