Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or it's characters but i do own my ideas and thats what matters. This is pure fanfiction I am writting for a friend.
So much ran through my mind, mostly worry. I wanted so badly to be at Jacob's side. Why did this have to happen to us. I looked at Leah, seeing the fear in her eyes as her face remained a perfect calm. This wasn't how any of it was supposed to be. What if they never came back? What if the Cullens came after us with their Volturi friends? So much was left unanswered. I knew of only one way to make this pain and confusion go away. These hours of endless thoughts were torture. It had already gotten fast to the late afternoon.
I got up from the couch when Hal grabbed my wrist. "Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere until they get back. I just need to be alone for a while." Hal let go of my wrist with a nod of acceptance for my answer. I went to my room and locked the door behind me. I went to my closet reaching for a small metal box on the top shelf hidden by several old blankets. Laying it on my bed I went to my night stand and lifted the hidden compartment I had created there many years ago.
I grabbed the tiny key and opened the box. I sat on my bed rummaging through the several bags that were kept in there. Which one should I open? I finally decided on the bag of ecstasy. Why not? A few uppers would be great right about now. Besides with this wolf system it would take a lot to make it affect badly. If I only did two it would be out of my system in only a matter of an hour instead of 5 or more. Who would it hurt? Opening the bag I reached in and grabbed out two. I sighed, wishing I still had some acid left over. When Halulu found the stash in the freezer he freaked out, making me take several months worth of addict classes. It was never spoken of since and he had been extra watchful since.
I popped the pills into my mouth, swallowing them dry. I knew I should have a bottle or two of water with me in the next hour or so, for overheating purposes. I went to the kitchen quickly, knowing it would only be a matter of minutes before I started to hallucinate thanks to my wolf body. I went back into my room, grabbing the small ball off my bedside table. I proceeded to toss it in the air catching it until the drugs really started to take effect and I couldn't focus the catch any longer.
I lay there, pressing start on my MP3 that was plugged into the bedside speaker dock. I stared at the ceiling watching my brain mold the different shadows that were cast upon it. After about 45 minutes of that I had to find something else to look at. I turned to sit by the window and look out at the sky.
Loosing touch, I decided to grab one more pill. I washed it down with half a bottle of water, now room temperature, not realizing how thirsty I had gotten. Within only ten minutes the images came back in full moving motion. I was in such a good place now that I was able to zone out with a little help. I went back over to the metal box. I looked at the other bags and the drugs they all contained. Roxies, shrooms, codine, xanax and a small bag of cocaine. In my inebriated state I opened the bag of roxies and took a two of them. I went back to the window looking back out at the sky. I was smiling and giggling to myself for no apparent reason.
Not a half hour later my body started to shake. I started to get dizzy. Thinking I just had too many uppers in my system I went to grab some xanax. I quickly crushed it up to snort through a straw I had stashed in the box. I knew snorting it would make it work faster. I snorted it off my bedside table, going back to the window I felt as if something was wrong. I tried to turn around but just fell against the wall in the corner beside the closet door and the window. I sat there staring at the opposite wall. I began to see strange images in the shadows. One began to talk to me. I put my head down, grabbing it with my hands.
"No this isn't real. It's not there. You're only seeing things Keilani. Ignore the voice." I kept muttering to myself. The voice droned on. It wasn't until it began talking about Jacob that I began to listen to it. I knew it wasn't there, or even real but my mind still focused on it.
"Jacob has lied. He wants to be with Bella. He went to try to get her back and keep the treaty. He never wanted you. He isn't just yours alone. Paul loves you. He gave you the ring. What has Jacob done to show his love?"
"Stop it. It's not true" I said back to the image.
"Jacob jut wants to use you. He will only hurt you with betrayal. Paul has been faithful."
"No. Jacob tried to fight for me."
"He didn't know your heart was with him. He only wanted to take you. He only wants to hurt Paul. Jacob only cares about his status in the clan"
"Stop. It isn't true!" I began to cry.
"He lies. He isn't truthful. His motives are corrupt. He will never protect you. He will only use you."
"No. He won't. He loves me" I said to the shadow, tears streaming down my face.
"Jacob doesn't love you. He would have returned by now if he did. He is trying to win back Bella"
"Stop it! Stop lying to me!" I finally yelled at the figure.
From the living room, Embry and Halulu came running at the sound of my screams. The door was locked. I could hear Hal banging on the door but it was being drowned by the sound of the voice. "Leave me alone! It's all lies!" I was yelling back at the wall.
"Keilani! What's happening? Open this fucking door!" Hal yelled from the other side.
"Stop your lies!" I reached under the dresser for my knife. I flipped it open stabbing at the wall. The attempts to make the image disappear were futile. Instead I turned the knife on myself. The voice coaxed me, as I slid the knife diagonally across my arm trying to wake myself. "You're making me do this! Leave me alone! I want the truth! No more lies!"
"Open the god damn door!" Hal shouted from the other side.
"It's no use Hal. Lets bust it" Embry stated. As soon as he had Hal backed up across the hall charging the door knocking the bolt out of the frame as he came stumbling into the room. He quickly took note of the pills on the bed.
"Fuck! Kei!" Hal rushed to my side when he saw the knife at my arm. Embry got between them trying to talk the knife from me as I looked at him in desperation for help. I slashed it at them for a moment, cutting Embry's arm and hand. Hal got a gash on his leg. When Embry finally got the knife out of my hand Hal grabbed me up in his arms shoving his hand into my mouth even though I had bitten down on it. I coughed an gagged on his hand.
He held me a bit up leaning on my side. He tried again to get me to gag and it finally worked. I coughed hard and with it came a good bit of vial. Hal patted my back as I coughed up a bit more. He sat me back up against the wall. "Kei, talk to me. Can you understand me?" He asked frantically hoping I was actually listening to him.
I rolled my head, crying heavily, gasping for breath. "He was lying It's not true. Jacob loves me." Paul had come into the room by then with a damp cloth having watched the commotion from the door. Paul looked a bit hurt by her comment but said nothing. Embry had gathered the stash of drugs and had moved them up to his room. He could asses them later with Halulu. He returned to the room and talked to me with Hal.
"Who was lying to you Kei" Hal asked slowly, trying to sooth me.
"The man on the wall" I said half pointing. They looked at the opposite wall.
"Holy shit" Paul whispered wide eyed at the damage to the wall.
"Why would he lie to you" Embry asked.
"He doesn't approve of Jacob" I whispered
"Who doesn't" Hal asked.
"The leader. The old man" I whispered through heavy eyes half staring at the wall.
"Why is that" Embry asked looking Hal.
"He said Jacob is only saying he loves me to destroy Paul. That Paul is the only one that really cares" I said eyes blinking trying to stay open. Hal scooped me up into a hug looking up at Paul. Tears were brimming in Paul's eyes as he saw the pain this was all causing me. He turned, leaving the room to go to the study to sit in silence.
Hal scooped me up and laid me in the bed on my side, as to keep me from choking on anything. He rubbed my back until I passed out. Him and Embry quietly left the room. They stood outside the door discussing what to do.
"We can't leave her unsupervised any more. She's found her old habits. Trust me it can only get worse" Hal said to Embry.
"Did you see the size of her stash? She had enough drugs there to kill herself. She's lucky she didn't."
"I don't know what to do for her anymore. I didn't even know she still had any. We have to take shifts watching her, even when she's sleeping" Hal declared.
"I agree. You stay for now, I'll come back later. We can send in Quil after." Hal nodded. Embry was right. "I'm going to flush what I found. You just worry about her until I come back" Embry turned and went for the stairs.
Hal opened the door to my room and came back in sitting on the bed beside me. "What am I going to do Kei? I just want to see you well." He grabbed my wrist to be sure the bleeding had stopped. It was slowly beginning to scab over, the process slowed by the drugs effects still remaining in my body. Hal shook his head, then got up and began to pick up the mess in the room. He didn't want me to wake and find the terror again. He wanted to just forget about it all like he hoped everyone would, but he knew it wouldn't be that easy.