"I just think it's funny that you off all people got yourself shot in the ass." Ronon/Keller

Spoilers: None that I see

Pairings: it hints at R/K

Ronon walked into the infirmary quickly. "Doc, you got a moment?" he asked.

She looked up from the pile of paperwork she had in front of her. "Yeah, what's up?" She scanned his body for any visible injury; she found none.

"I need your help." he said quietly.


"I kinda got shot," he said.

She got up from her desk quickly and walked over to him, "Where? I don't see any bullet wounds."

"Yeah, about that. It's not exactly in a visible place."

"What do you mean?" she asked, confused.

"I kinda got shot in the ass."

She stared in disbelief, "What?"

He turned around so she could see. Sure enough, there was a bullet wound in his left butt-cheek.

"Ronon, how did this even happen?" she asked, carefully examining the wound, trying her hardest to ignore its location.

He grinned slightly. "I don't think you want to know."

She nodded from behind him, "You're right. I don't." Then she did an odd thing. She laughed.

"What so funny?"

"It's just, well, this," she said, motioning to his wound. "I just think it's funny that you managed to get yourself shot in the ass."

"I suppose it's slightly amusing. Could you just get the bullet out and stitch me up so I can be on my way?" Ronon asked.

"Yeah yeah, sure." she said. And then it hit her, he was going to have to take off his pants so she could get to the wound. She quickly felt her face flush.

"You alright, Doc?" Ronon asked, concerned.

"Fine," she mumbled. "Um, you've got to take off your pants so I can have full access." Seeing Ronon's grin, she quickly added, "To the wound. Full access to the wound." she stammered.

"Whatever you say, Doc," Ronon said. The not-so-shy Ronon pulled down his pants leaving him naked from the waist down. Just the thought of Ronon not wearing underwear gave Jennifer a familiar feeling in her lower regions.

"Right then. Um, now go to the examination table and lay down on your stomach," she said, trying her best to keep her eyes above his waist.

Ronon did as he was told and got on the table.

Jennifer walked up to him. Okay Jennifer. Deep breaths. It's just an ass. You've see plenty of asses. You are a doctor, after all. So what if this ass belongs to a very hot alien...it's just an ass. Calm yourself.

"I'm assuming you don't want me to numb the area?" she asked.

His eyes met hers, "You know what, why don't you numb it? This wound really," he paused, "hurts."

Jennifer looked at him oddly. This wound was nothing compared to some of the things he had been through. But, who was she to deny him any sort of pain relief? She quickly numbed the area, and began.

"So..." Ronon said, breaking the silence. "What's up?"

Oh, you know the usual. Just trying my hardest not to get a full blown orgasm from just the sight of your very VERY hot ass. "Um, nothing really." The doctor said, pulling the bullet out of the wound.

"So, is my ass like the hottest thing you've seen all day?" Ronon asked, playfully.

All day? Try all year. "Excuse me?" Jennifer said, trying her hardest to sound annoyed, instead of out of control horny.

"Oh you heard the question."

She smiled, "So I did. I'm just not sure you can handle the truth," she said, starting to stitch up the wound.

Ronon tilted his head backwards so he could look her in the eyes, "I'm a big boy. I can handle it." he said, grinning.

"Well, you know. There are, after all, a lot of hot marines here on Atlantis."

"Ah, but none of them have the alien hotness that I bring to the table."

"That is true," she agreed.

"So, you admit it?"

"Admit what?"

"You think I have a good ass?"

Absolutely. "I never said that."

"But you want to."

"Oh jeez, what a shame. I'm done stitching your wound." she said, putting a band-aid on it.

"Oh darn," Ronon said, putting his pants back on.

"I know. So, I would recommend sleeping on your back for a while. And, sitting down might be painful for a couple of days. But, since it's you, I know you'll do it anyways."

"You know me all to well, Doc."

"So, is there anything else I can do to help with the pain? I've got painkillers."

"No drugs." he said. "But, I've heard it is customary on Earth for someone to kiss an injured persons wound to help heal it. I'd be more than happy to try that method of healing," he said with a twinkle in his eyes.

So would I, Ronon. So. Would. I. "You've been spending WAY to much time with Sheppard." Jennifer said, turning away from the Satedan.

"So, I guess that's a no?"

I couldn't even tell you were this one came from if I tried. I've got a feeling it's out of character, but almost everything I write is OC. I've learned to deal with it. lol. Reviews are ALWAYS greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!!