AN: A short kind of angsty oneshot set after Journey's End. Review if you enjoy...
He's not sure what's happened to him.
After the Time War he had thought he couldn't get any lonelier, any more grief filled, but somehow he has caused himself more pain by trying to connect with others. In the end he only destroys them, if he didn't then he wouldn't be the Oncoming Storm. He wouldn't be the one to release their potential before promptly pulling it apart, causing it to strain to lengths he never wanted them to reach.
It's not because he's trying to keep them down, but when they reach that unfathomable potential and they turn into monsters, using violence and threats and the destruction of planets and lives. Yet unlike normal common monsters they don't do it for their own personal agenda. They don't want to take over the world or enslave the human race, no, they do it to save others.
It's a good sentiment. It's one he thinks he tried to enforce on them, but the more time they spend with him, the more like soldiers they turn into. Every single one of them. It's his fault, he knows it. When the universe is ending and they are blackmailing the enemy, he's the one trying to stop them from becoming like him.
He tried to save everyone once by destroying them. He saw the bigger picture, saw the universe purged and pulped and saw no other way, but in hindsight, there was always another way. He had just been too young and naive to see it and he hates himself for his actions everyday. He wasn't a hero, he was the villian. He was the destroyer. He is the last of kind, the sole survivor and that reminder aches painfully in his hearts every single solitary day.
They are good people. Brilliant smart people. He unlocked them, bringing them out of their shells to help save the world time and time again, but with each planet they helped save with him, the closer they get to forgetting the lives lost in the process. Soon they forget the importance of a single life.
He wishes he had left them alone. He wishes he had never met them. They may have helped him, but he has destroyed them. He dares not turn back for fear of what he might see.
Always running, always going onwards. A new adventure, a new planet to see, a new species to meet, another world to save to try and make up for the destruction of his people - the one mistake he will never forgive himself for. He seeks redemption and all he gets in return in more heartache.
Alone - that's how he should live. He can't corrupt others that way. He can't turn them into murderers that way. Or soldiers or martyrs, but he knows he can't live in solitude.
He is the lonely angel, the oncoming storm, the man without a home and he stares at his empty Tardis and wishes for the silence to be gone. He wishes for the screaming images of his burning planet to be rid from his mind so he replaces the silence with someone new. He's endangering them, but if it causes him to forget his sins for a little while then he doesn't care.
Just for a little while he can forget and that is the only care he has. For a single solitary moment, brief and shining, he is without sin and pain and grief. He isn't the last one, but each moment of freedom he gets comes at a cost. He knows that but continues, no matter how great the cost is.
He's the greatest monster out of all of them.
That is who he has become.