Scraping sounds. A tinny voice comes from the small speaker.
"Uh.. Hello? Umm.. Hi, Ron here. I've always thought keeping diaries was kinda girly, so I'm using mom's old dictation machine. With all that's been going on, it's probably best I keep some kind of record, just in case something happens. So, if you're listening to this, I guess something happened. If not, I'm just being overly dramatic as usual."
The voice chuckles nervously.
"Well, anyway, the reason I'm doing this, is probably what happened a couple weeks back. Me and KP, that's Kim Possible, teen hero, you might have heard of her, umm... where was I? Oh, yeah: me and KP went to help some English baron or lord or something. He wanted to get his hands on some monkey idol. I know, right? I knew right then the guy was no good, but did Kim believe me? Oh, nooo. 'I told you so' never tasted so sweet."
"Okay, so Lord Monkeyshine used us, well, Kim, to get the idol. He even made it look like it was stolen so we'd be none the wiser. When KP finally realized what Monty was up to, it was almost too late. See, the guy was seriously into monkeys - ugh, why did it have to be monkeys. Anyway, the guy wanted some Mystical Monkey Power that the idols could give him. Oh, yeah, there was more than one those things. That's so sick and wrong."
"There actually was something to it, the power thingy. Monty zapped himself with the monkeys and got some serious monkey mojo. And since holo-Kim was no help, I was in serious trouble. Did I forget to mention holo-Kim? Wade cooked it up. It's really sweet. I wonder if he could set me up on a holo-date with Penny? Uhh.. forget I said that."
"Okay, so I was in deep monkey doo-doo, and I figured out - okay, cousin Larry figured out - that I needed to get some monkey power myself to beat this guy. So I did and I did."
The proud tone quickly vanishes with a deep sigh that follows.
"And that's where this tape comes in. After that day, I've been feeling... off, somehow. I don't know how to explain it, but I don't like it. This has 'bad road' written all over it."
There is a muffled voice, apparently female, in the background.
"Gotta wrap this up. KP's coming to help me with my homework. Later."