Hooooooly crap. Fuck this shit. One more retarded chapter, and...

Ha, this thing has dragged on for a bajillion chapters and ultimately ended as a crappy and... I dunno. Ranty fic. I am so done with this.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

Ulquiorra

Dear Spencer,

DAY. FAKKING. SIETE.

It looks like I'll have to decide what to do to Grimmjow since there's no chance of him winning. I could make him watch a High School Musical marathon, but something tells me that's not punishment enough for him.

Oh well.

We went to someone's house last night. They had video games, but no Guitar Hero. *Sad*

But, oh my god, oh my gooood, you know what they did have? They had Gears of War and Super Smash Bros.

I FUCKING LOVE GEARS OF WAR. SSB is cool, too. And Halo, I guess.

But I really have crap aim. You'd think that I'd be very good at it, you know, firin' mah ceros all the time. But seriously, my cero is made to overkill. It's that kind of thing you use when you absolutely have to kill every motherfucker in the room. Meaning I don't need any aiming skillz at all, I just have to point in the general direction and it's all good…

But okay, so I was supposed to be a sniper, but I couldn't ever hit anything, so they put me on the turret and let me do whatever I wanted. It was awesome. Unlimited ammo, babeh, I blasted the shit out of those zombie things.

But we eventually got bored of shooting and chainsaw-ing things. So we switched to Super Smash.

I only know how to play two characters from that game, and that's Samus and Marth. I started out by playing Samus, and SHE (I seriously never would have guessed…) was pretty easy. I just camped out somewhere to the side and charged up my gun and blasted anyone coming near. Everyone else got mad at me eventually though, because every time I shot, I would scream, "IMMA FIRIN' MAH LAZER!!!" so they made me get off Samus after a while.

I switched to Marth, because everything else looked stupid. He's also pretty gay. He moves hella fast and has crazy range; I just pushed the people off and edgeguarded so they couldn't save themselves by grabbing the edge. Ha. In. Your. Fucking. Face. Except Pit. It didn't work on him, bitch could fly. I hate Pit. When he used his final smash, I thought he was throwing croissants at us at first, only they were hurty croissants and killed me ):

Also, Marth is one big pansy… I thought it was a girl. Fucking transvestite characters.

Well, before that, we were at the arcade playing DDR, and I beat up one last person just to spite Grimmy. We were having a dance off, and I kicked him off the platform so that he fell into another video game and smashed his nose. It was bleeding lol.

Well, I'm positive I've won, so it's not like Grimmjow'll get fifteen people or something in a few hours…

Yep, he's fucked.

Anyways, I'm going home tomorrow, so sick of the real world. Everything is so stupid and trashy around here, and prostitutes and whores are the trashiest of all, not counting the real trash that you don't even bother picking up. At least people pick up prostitutes.

Speaking of which, some girl tried to have sex with me today. It was one of those huge, acne/zit covered, lacking deodorant, greasy haired, trashy girls that cake on five layers of makeup to try and cover their pimples, only everyone knows that kind of thing only results in worse skin. Oh Szayel, how you have poisoned my mind…

But am I glad I have permanent genetic makeup already done.

Anyways, she trapped me behind the science classrooms where everyone goes to make out and totally crushed me. She didn't even need to sit on me to suffocate me, coming near me was enough to stop my breathing. Except I don't breathe. I can't believe that fact hasn't been discovered yet D:

I escaped (thank God) by jabbing her in the face with my skateboard, then, with much difficulty even considering my size, taking off my shirt and getting away.

It makes me think of that other time where someone stole my shirt. At least this time I have a jacket with me. I just wore that, it was okay.

Anyhow, that was probably the most frightening experience IN MY LIFE. And that's including the time Nnoitra tried to rape me, mhm.

Whatever.

P.S. Ness and Lucas are idiotic. Stupid twinks, they think they're all PK.

Grimmjow

Dear Diary,

I think I lost the bet T.T

I haven't been trying to kill people for a good while. I guess all I can hope is that Ulquiorra won't do anything too bad to me…

Maybe he'll tell Aizen what a bad boy I was D:

Oh my god, I hope he doesn't!

I think I might cry!

I have to do something, because if I don't, he'll tattle on me! quick, quick, think of something. Oh no, I can't think, I'm in panic mode! Inhaler! Now! Only not, because only Ulquiorra has asthma.

Oh noes… I'm really scared now, I don't want to go home. Maybe I can change my identity and pretend that I'm a real person so Ulquiorra will never find me.

Can I do that in a few hours, though? I dunno…

Maybe the best thing would be to try and win the bet-

Yeah right.

I think I'll have to hurt Ulquiorra so that he CAN'T tell Aizen on me.

Oh no, what'll I do?

OK, this will work out, seriously… maybe I'll drown him? Or… or I'll starve him to death? Can't do that, he's too thin to have eaten anything for the past century…

Push him… off a building? That doesn't sound too bad, but I don't know how… I can't even kill spiders!

What? I'm a big baby? Well, I don't see any great ideas coming from you!

Yeah alright, great excuse, you can't talk because you're a diary. Way to state the obvious.

Yes, I KNOW I've been saying dumb, obvious things, too, but you can't have known all that, it was only obvious to me!

Yeah, right.

Wow. First sign of madness, talking to a book through writing. ):

Siiiiigh…

Well, today didn't help my cause either, I just read some more Twilight fanfics and wrote one, too. I hope someone reviews! :D

Well, that was all I really did. I saw Ulquiorra running without a shirt on (but he was trying to pull on a sweater as he ran…?), maybe that's what guys do these days? Hmmm… it looked like he was pretty scared, I wonder what happened? I don't see many scary things at school. Maybe Ulquiorra is easier to scare than I thought. *hopeful*

Yeah… right. When I hate Twilight, that is.

OH MY GOD. THAT'S IT.

I can make Ulquiorra a super pansy if I start to hate Twilight :O

Okay, okay. Here goes.

Twilight is a really…

Really………

Bad? Book?

And… it… it has only… one main character?

AUGH, no way, no way, Twilight it the best book in the world it has the best characters and Edward is so hot and Bella is such a deep and considerate character Stephanie Meyer must have taken hours thinking her up I mean she is just such a good character with good and bad traits and the book is so deep and descriptive and if you can't read it you're just jealous and are too dumb to understand good vocabulary-

Oh no. I bet that just made Ulquiorra ten times more pwnaging than he is now.

OH NO OH NO WHAT DO I DOOOOO????

That's it. I'm going out and trying to make him incapable of finishing his win at the bet.

WISH ME LUCK :D

-Grimmjow

P.S. if I'm not back in three hours, call the cops.