Clear

Summary: Raito finally sees clear for the first time ever since he became Kira. Spoilers for the ending I guess.

Pairing/s: None.

Warnings: Character-death.

Soichiro didn't die.

Disclaimers: I don't own Death Note.

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Yagami Raito all but ran out from the ware-house, and the police was stunned for a while. But then they got their feet moving and ran after the criminal. Near did so as well, since he would not give up on the chance of seeing Kira get arrested.

Raito himself ran as quickly as he could, wondering what went wrong. He was a bit surprised as well. When he had confessed he was Kira, it was like a great weight had lifted from his chest. He felt young again and innocent. He ran faster, feeling as if he ran fast enough Kira would disappear and he would wake up from a nightmare. But he knew this was no nightmare. He was Kira. Before, he was proud over it. Now, as he was running like a coward, he could not help but hate himself.

He came to a ware-house that went straight up in the skies and ran inside. He took the stairs three at the time, floor after floor. He knew they would come after him, and he would die. He was going to die.

Somehow, that thought did not frighten him as much as it should be.

Whether Ryuuku would kill him or if he was going to be shot to death or killed by the electric chair one fact was still clear; he was going to die.

He was wheezing as he came up on the roof. He lightly jogged to the low wall that was there to prevent people from falling. He looked over the edge and suddenly liked the cold wind blowing into his face. He climbed up onto the wall and closed his eyes. He maybe had a minute before the police would come. He stretched his arms and looked down. If he jumped, he would die. He smiled lightly at the thought. It had been a long time ago since he thought about suicide.

Images flashed by. When he first found the note, meeting Ryuuku, killing Ray Penbar… everything. Watching L die, frustration at Near, sorrow and hatred… so many emotions. Now he could only feel hollow, just like when he was young.

"Hands where I can see them!"

He recognized Matsuda's voice and wondered if he should turn around. He decided not to and therefore did not move.

"Game's over, Kira," came Near's voice. "We won."

"That you did," Raito replied softly. "And you know what? I can't help but feel happy about it."

"What?" Near asked, confused.

"You wanted to show me as a monster to everyone," Raito said. "Perhaps I am one."

"That's not how Kira talks," Near said.

"Kira…" Raito mused over the name the police had given him. "When I first heard that name, I was exited. Thoughts unlike my own spread like fire in my head. I was famous, I was respected. It thrilled me, made me think I could do something good to this world. But after a while even this whole Kira-thing turned dull. I thought so many times if I should just open the fake bottom to the desk and let myself burn to death. It felt like some power always stopped me."

"Excuses won't help you."

"I know," Raito said and turned his head to look at them. Everyone had their gun pointed at him. He turned back to watch the water channel not far away and continued: "I know sorry won't help. It will only make you angrier. But I don't have anything else I can offer."

"Except your death," the white-haired boy said.

Raito took a deep breath and smiled. He had never felt as light as now.

"When I was little," he said, suddenly very sentimental and not minding it one bit, "I used to envy birds."

"Why birds?" Near asked, finding the conversation slightly interesting. He found the whole personality of Yagami Raito interesting. Such a smart young man who had devoted his whole energy and mind to kill.

"They took flight and disappeared whenever there was trouble," Raito said, looking up at the sky. "I used to wish I had wings too so I could run away from everything. I even went as far to ask Ryuuku if I could get his wings. He found the request funny but did take me out on a flight."

"And how did it feel?" the boy asked, motioning for the men to slowly go closer. They needed to catch Kira with the element of surprise, or else they risked dying all of them.

"Wonderful." His answer confused them, as did his smile. "I never wanted to go back down. I wanted… to fly forever."

"Kira…"

"It's not Kira," the man cut in. He turned his head to look at Near. "My name is Raito."

"Talk-time is over," Near said slowly. "Come with us nice and quietly."

"Dad," Raito said and Soichiro stiffened. "Can you tell mom and Sayu… that I'm sorry? Tell Sayu that even a bird with broken wings still tries to fly."

"What…?" Soichiro said, not understanding.

"Take him now!" Near shouted. "He's going to jump!"

Too late. Raito spread his arms, like wings, and let himself fall forward. The air rushed past him, the ground coming closer. He did not feel afraid. He closed his eyes, and willed all the good memories to drown him. Misa… oh, how badly he had treated the poor girl. Well, she was safe now, far away from him and far away from Kira. His mother, standing in the kitchen and cooking. Yes, that was what she was the best on. He missed her food. Sayu, watching TV while speaking in the phone, listening to music and painting her toe-nails. How she always shone up as she saw him. Hopefully the money was on her account, and they would stay there. He had put all of his savings into her account as a last gift with a letter before going to that damn ware-house. He had no idea why he had done that; a feeling had just told him to do this last thing for his sister. And he did, for his sister who adored him so much. She would be devastated when Soichiro told her. Probably scared and angry too. But Raito knew that; he would never be forgiven. And the thought hurt more than he ever had imagined.

The ground came close as he opened his eyes. He thought he was crying, but it could also have been because of the wind. Death was moments away.

I'm sorry.

He never felt his body hitting the ground.

End


Don't ask me where I got the things with birds from.

I was hoping for a little sorrow-fic and hopefully I got it right.

Until another time,

Ja,

Tiro