A/N: Wow, you guys. I've got so many reviews for the last chapter. I must have done something right. Even though I can't write good sex scenes, it wasn't a total failure.
Disclaimer; I don't own L…or Light…sadly.
Light spent the rest of the day trying to stay far from L. Luckily, L made himself scarce. Light had no idea where L had gotten off to, and he didn't care. Light hid out in his room, hoping that L wouldn't come after him. When Light finally crawled into bed for the night, L was still nowhere to be found. Light cautiously climbed into bed and after several long, anxious minutes, fell fast asleep.
When Light woke up the next morning, L was perched on the side of the bed, looking cheerful. Light stared at L intently. Perhaps L's crazy outburst had just been a horrible, horrible dream. L didn't look like a killer.
"Good morning, master," L murmured. He snuggled up against Light, oblivious to Light's sudden tension. "Raito-kun's mother is making pancakes. I wish I could have some." L sighed unhappily.
Light willed himself to relax. "L? Did…did yesterday really happen?"
L blinked in surprise. "Raito-kun is shocked that he actually allowed himself to have sex? Raito-kun, you did indeed have sex. I am surprised that you are not sore from our activities. Perhaps you will be once you get out of bed."
Light flushed. "You're such a pervert."
L curled up tightly against Light, resting his head on Light's shoulder. "Raito-kun, it was very kind of you to put such trust in me. For my master to allow me to-"
"Oh, shut up," Light said curtly. "It wasn't a big deal. It seemed like that's what you wanted. You just seemed so…dominant."
L kissed Light's cheek. "I apologize, Raito-kun. I did not mean to act so forceful. I would have been content to play the submissive role. I know how Raito-kun is always worried about causing me pain, but at that moment, I don't think I would have felt a thing."
Light frowned at him. "And why is that?"
L smiled sheepishly. "Raito-kun's commands are…rather stimulating to me."
Light rolled his eyes. "It makes you horny being told what to do? Geez, you really are a piece of work."
"Only when you give the command," L said innocently. "I would only let someone I truly cared for know that I would obey their orders. I was already quite attracted to Raito-kun to begin with, but the more commands you give me, the more desirable you become."
Light sighed. "And then I became so overwhelmingly desirable that you just had to jump me?"
L ducked his head. "Forgive me, Raito-kun. I am normally quite capable of controlling myself." He chewed a thumbnail "I had thought I could handle it when the time came. In fact, I earlier encouraged you in that direction. But when it came time and you gave me the ultimate command…I was powerless."
"What are you talking about?" Light growled.
L stared at him, eyes wide. He looked creepy.
"Uhh…L?" Light started to inch away from the doll.
L moved forward for every pace Light moved back and soon Light found himself with his back up against the headboard of his bed. "Uhh…L?" Light laughed nervously. "Don't look at me like that, please? It's creepy."
"You told me to kill," L whispered. "I did it for you. Whatever Raito-kun commands me to do, I shall fulfill."
Light's face was ashen. "She's really dead?"
L nodded, bringing his face close to Light's. His ragged breath ghosted across Light's cheek. Light cringed and squeezed his eyes shut. It was terrifying to be in the presence of a murderer.
"Raito-kun, you gave the order," L said firmly. "Do not absolve yourself of responsibility."
"I didn't want this!" Light wailed. "I didn't mean to kill her. I know she was annoying, but death is permanent. It was an accident."
L patted Light's shoulder awkwardly. "I am sorry, Raito-kun. Truly sorry."
"Why did you do it? Why would you kill someone?"
"Because Raito-kun told me to," L said simply. "I did not like Misa, but I would never have killed her unless Raito-kun explicitly ordered me to. That is my purpose. I do not choose my own course of action. It is Raito-kun's decision."
Light whimpered. "I don't want to be in charge. You see what happened? I lost my temper and wrote down things I really didn't mean. She's dead because of me."'
"Raito-kun, it is not your fault. It is simply a tragic accident. I wish you would stop feeling so upset over this. You have never liked Misa anyway."
Light sniffled. "No, but I hate being a murderer."
L sighed. "Raito-kun, you are insufferably stubborn. What do you do when you are feeling depressed under normal situations?"
Light pushed L away from him and slid out of bed. He paced around his room. L watched curiously as Light muttered under his breath.
"Raito-kun, isn't there anything that makes you happy?"
Light stopped in his tracks and sighed heavily. "You."
L looked genuinely surprised. "Me?"
Light frowned. "Normally, yes." He ran a hand absently through his hair. "Normally, I enjoy being with you. But it freaks me out having so much power to accidentally do something I will regret later."
L was silent for a long moment, thinking. "Raito-kun does not have to issue me commands if he does not want to."
Light flushed. "But that's what makes you…" he trailed off, embarrassment plain on his face.
L looked hurt. "Raito-kun thinks that if he stops giving me commands I will stop loving him? Raito-kun, I loved you before you gave me a single order. It will change nothing. One does not simply turn their back on the one person they love most. No, the damage has already been done. I am hopelessly in love with you, Raito-kun."
Light sighed. "I don't want you to kill again. I didn't want you to kill in the first place. I don't want to hear about anymore bodies on the news and I don't want to see that horrible expression on your face. That wasn't the look of someone hopelessly in love and sexually stimulated. That was the look of a sadistic killer, someone who enjoyed killing Misa and someone who enjoyed tormenting me with the fact that it was my fault."
L was silent for a long time. "I'm sorry, Raito-kun. That sort of behavior is inexcusable from me. It's normal for B, but not for me. B has killed before, without orders. He could do so of his own free will. But I can't. I would never be capable of taking a life on my own. But as a Death Doll….I do exactly as you say. Somewhere inside me, I couldn't handle doing something that I would never do unless you forced me to. I suppose I convinced myself that if B could do it, so could I."
"And so you became B," Light murmured.
L nodded. "I worry for Sayu's friend. He could easily kill on his own, but I'm sure he takes great delight in making the girl tell him who to kill."
"So what do we do?" Light murmured. "Do we take B away from her?"
L shrugged. "B may very well still be a doll. If your sister's friend is not a pervert, she will be safe. We shouldn't rush in unless we know she has activated him."
"Fuck you, L," Light growled. "We can't very well go and ask a young girl if she undresses her dolls."
"I have a better idea. Spend time talking with your sister. Some quality sibling time. See if her friend has started behaving strangely."
"If she has?"
"I will take care of B," L said firmly. "He killed me once and now it is his turn. He's had a long run as a Death Doll. He wants to die so badly, to stop being reincarnated. But with each cycle, he finds a willing master, and they commit murder together. The master always ends up committing suicide because they can't keep up with B's desire for death. This girl should not be made to feel guilty for B's actions. If B has not been activated, we will find a way to separate them. If he has, I must confront and kill him and end the cycle."
"I thought you couldn't be killed? Don't you just keep coming back? What good will it do? If not this girl, then some other poor girl."
"Death Dolls can only be killed by other Death Dolls. Rule ninety-five. Once activated, a Death Doll can be killed by another. If B is not activated, I will get the girl to bury him or hide him where he will not be found for a long time. She must be protected."
Light nodded. "I'll talk to Sayu."
"But remember one thing, Raito-kun. B and I are very different people. He murders by choice. I was made to be a killer, but I do not make that choice for myself. Do not let this permanently scar you."
Light looked down at the ground. "I know," he whispered. "I know."