A/N: Thanks for reading

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This was boring him…but that did not mean the excitement inside of him had died completely. The hunt was always enjoyable, chasing after someone like they were nothing more than a frightened wildebeest. That look in their eye…it screamed out to him, and he loved hearing that sound. At first it startled him how much pleasure he took in makeing people have that look, but he grew use to it, understanding that it was just a result of how he was trained. There was no replacement for the man that taught him everything he knew, and that was reason he looked down on everyone but his teacher. They were lower then he was…too stupid to open their eyes and really see what their world was really like. It was rotten, so much so that innocence no longer existence and the blind where allowed to lead the blind. How could such a place become like this? Simple, it was because of the people running it and what their true intentions were. Corporation never dealt in things that were 'clean', always getting the hands of their employees dyed in blood while they sit back and watched from the sideline. That kind of life was inexcusable, and even though he hated it there was nothing he could do. He was skilled, but to single handily take down every major Corporation in the world was something only done in fairytales…and he was living in no such place. He wasn't stupid or naive enough to believe that feats such that were possible, and he had gotten more than enough reality checks to know that as a fact.

All the people he could've turn to were dead or had betrayed him…all but one. This person he was sure wasn't going to leave him to die, never looking back even as he cried their name. He'd gone through that once, and it was the defining moment in his life…the one point that made everything come together, shaping who he was. It was raining the day they met, and it was also raining the day his world truly crumbled. He was thirteen when he became an Alice (someone who was lost and needed to be shown the way), because his mentor said that was the age he had started and it was the only time he could learn the things he was going to teach. Anyone younger then that age would've never taken anything seriously, but upon reaching that 'early teen' mode the thought process changed. The mind wasn't mature enough to become considered an adult, but it was young enough to still learn things that were 'hard' or 'challenging'. At first he didn't understand what his mentor had in store for him but he soon found out over the next few months…and his life was never the same. He was taught the art of killing, to expel all the fear in his heart and turn it into instinct that would in turn make him into a person only seen in movies. He was already fast being the top ranked kid in his class (everyone had to run at the time), but since something like that did not need improving they were not going to focus on it. His eyes, however, needed a lot of work; he was nearsighted and wearing glasses while on a mission was out of the question. The best (and fastest) way for that to improve was to get a pair of contacts. He didn't really liked the idea of cheap plastic being put in his eyes, but if it was the advancement of his training he would do damn near anything.

Walking into the optometrist felt so awkward; he knew that man that ran the place since he had been going there since the age of seven. He'd worn glasses for most of his life and before his mother…left him, she told him that he had inherited his father's bad eyes. His father was never talked about much when he was around his mother, always saying that 'the man left and would never come back' or that 'he was unimportant'. She always seemed to have such a grudge against him and always turning things off like the phone so 'he couldn't call'. He didn't understand…why couldn't he see his father? Was he really that bad of a man? It wasn't until a year after he was adopted that he was told the truth, and upon hearing it felt more worthless then ever. He always knew his mother had him young, but he was never given any details. She was in her last year if high school when she met his father, who was ten years older than her. They started dating a year after they met and from that point on almost everything he was told was based on assumptions. She told the police that he was nothing but a manipulate bastards that raped her, while he stated that she was the one that had acted 'not like herself' and had force him down. Ultimately Allen was the byproduct of all the angst and anger, but the story didn't end there…He was also told that he was almost…gotten ride of before he was even born. No one knew why she decided to keep him, but just that thought was enough to make him want to shrivel away and die. Allen was in the middle…he had always been in the middle even before he was born. No one cared about him, only about their petty arguments and stupid lies. He didn't care about who was right, who did what to the other or why they were acting the way they did…he just wanted someone to notice what he wanted the most…

But that was in the past…

His mentor said that things like that no longer mattered, and if dwelled on for too long it would rot the heart. Even though he was going to become a killer, he wasn't going to become a heartless one…that was something he wasn't going to teach. To become heartless was just as bad as becoming an S class player, giving up ones soul just to complete a job and have a higher position on the pyramid. At first Allen didn't understand why having a heart was necessary, seeing that not caring about the enemy came with the job. He was slapped behind the head and told that understanding the enemy was the first step to killing them; sometimes he'd be given a job that didn't require him to kill right there on the spot. When assigned these jobs one would have to either infiltrate the targets living area or become closer to them. Allen questioned why said jobs existed and he was greeted with another slap. Places such as heavily guarded hotels with wealthy business men flaunting their money were easy to access, but things like homes or apartments were a different story. Even thought information was given about the targe, field work was part of it and if not done correctly the whole mission was going to down the drain. It wasn't about acting when it came to those kinds of situations; it was about acting completely like yourself and if the heart died your true self died was well. To lose that part of you was the same thing as being dead on the inside, and there was no other option but leave the world forever or become an S class. There weren't many that disowned the world they grew so fond of, but those who did found it hard. Some would jump whenever a phone would go off, thinking that it was their boss with a job. Others would be constantly on edge because they knew somebody had gotten wind of their 'leaving'. Players went after those who had left the world seeking to prove one simple thing…they were better. It was a sick thing when it happened, but it rarely did now a days since a new law had gone up saying that these people had earned some time off.

But there was something that still confused him…why would someone willingly become an S class player? Everything someone loved was taken away, family, friends, everything. Why did people want this? It was simple…power. S class players were by far the strongest fighters in the world, and there was no one out there to prove them wrong. They were trained rigorously after being brainwashed so they would hold no flaws in the eyes of the people who owned them. They were dogs…nothing more nothing less. But the power…it was so alluring it drew people to it like flies to a light. After pestering his mentor for such a long time about how they obtained their power, he finally answered. To let everything go, to value nothing was their source of power and to never have a single thing to lose was why they fought the way they did. They didn't hold back and few players dared to challenge them, and those that did never came back unscathed. Allen taught that doing such a thing wasn't all that bad, seeing that he didn't have much in his life. He obviously didn't tell his mentor this and decided to go about become one when he was trained a little more. So three years later he was ready to leave his teacher behind, but when that day finally came he was…a little surprised. He only really knew one company that was a part of the world he was just inducted into and strangely enough…they knew he was coming. When asked how they told him that the entire company had been keeping an eye on his mentor for quite some time, and that they just happened to stumble upon him. Allen was slightly at a loss of word…was his mentor really that much of a problem? He'd been told before by him that he had killed a few people that he shouldn't have, but that it was 'purely accidentally'. Whatever the reason was Allen still felt like he was supposed to join even if it went against his mentor's wishes. When his mentor had found out about him going behind his back and trying to become an S class player he merely stood in silence, not looking as if he didn't know what to say…he looked like he wanted to say something but couldn't.

His first day of training was something that really needed some getting use to fast; he was the last person in his 'class' to catch on to things, and the instructors seriously thought about kicking him out. After apologizing multiple times for his lack of understanding they decided to give him a personal instructor. He felt like he was being treated like a child because of this, but it wasn't all bad…the person training him was nice and very considerate. He really didn't act like the other instructors and maybe it was that kindness that led to his…attraction of the older boy. It was somewhat strange, though it was in no way 'love at first sight' by any means. It took time getting uses to him, how he was more physical then the other solely because something like that was necessary for someone to truly learn. He didn't know how to take such a thing but he got use to it none the less, but it wasn't until he was basically pinned down and stripped that he knew something had gone noticed. At first he began to struggle since he, well, didn't know what the hell was going on. But when he was told that it was merely a sign of affection and that his feelings were not one-sided, the whole pinning didn't seem as bad anymore. He was ultimately taken by the person he felt so grateful too, and truly thought his future looked brighter than ever…but he was dead wrong. A day after he was given his numbers that were received on his lower back, a called that he'd needed help clean up a mess an Alice player started. It was odd that he was asked to do such a thing seeing that he had only joined a year ago, and given that he hadn't been full 'brainwashed' yet made him think that he wasn't the right guy for the job. He was loyal, but he still questioned everything that went on around him and that meant he need more time. So why were they giving him a mission so early? His lover reassured him that it was probably something small to test him, and if needed he would go along with him.

He was wrong…it was an all out gunfight and it was in no way small. Apparently the player had killed the leader of a very well know mafia group…in front of his subordinates. It was a stupid mistake on the player's part and now Allen needed to clean up the mess. He was rather good with a gun, but hiding behind a pillar waiting for the other side to run out of ammo wasn't really benefiting him. By his side was his lover, and the only person there offering him any kind of support. It he wasn't under such heavy gunfire he would've thought that everything was a dream. He liked the fact that he was there, since the adrenalin rushing through his veins was driving him insane, making him feel like he wanted to just run out in the middle of the fray. But…something about him had changed slightly. He never really looked at him nor did say much to him, but all was forgiven just because he was there. Most of his life he was always thrown aside, never being noticed by anyone unless he was died or gone…but not his lover. He was the only one who paid him any mind other then his mentor, and he was so grateful for it. There were times where he felt so worthless…like he really didn't belong anywhere and just wanted to die. But there he was, telling him that everything was going to be alright and that thinking such things wasn't good for him. It would sometimes scare him how much he hated himself, loathing his very existence and blaming it for anything wrong in his life. There were many a days where he would just stare at a gun, contemplating if he really wanted to pull the trigger. The closest he had gotten was the barrel pressed against his temple The only reason he didn't end it right there was because his cousin had unexpectedly paid him a visit. It was odd for him to come over unannounced which told him that it probably wasn't his time to go, or he was just delaying the inevitable. He couldn't tell his cousin about what he was going to do or what kind of person he really was. That person…he didn't want that person looking at with eyes filled with fear…no…he wouldn't have it.

Finally deciding to move, Allen charged from his spot behind the tall pillar and ran directly into the strike zone. He knew it was stupid, but he had someone backing him up so there was nothing to worry about. Just as he brought his gun up to fire he was hit in the right shoulder by a bullet; he never knew they such a wound stung so badly nor did he know he would bleed so much. He was slightly stunned by this but continued on regardless of the pain that had over taken his arm. No matter how much he wanted to scream he wouldn't, he needed to get this job done because failing was out of the question. But what would happen if he died? No…he wasn't going to think such things, not now. He would die after the fact, but right now he would kill the people he was told to. That what kind of life he needed to live…Allen thought maybe he had given up his soul but at lest he was with his lover. As another bullet pieced his skin he bit his bottom lip, not caring if he made it bleed. Allen was determined to kill those bastards no matter what, but he couldn't keep those horrible thoughts out of his mind...what if he died? What if he died? What if he died?! WHAT IF HE DIED?! He only looked away for second to try and expel such thoughts from his head…and then it hit him. He completely stopped in his tracks, dropping the gun he held making it give off a loud 'thunk' as it hit the ground. He never took what he was doing as a joke or saw any humor in it…but he knew that at that very moment someone was laughing at him. Looking down he would see that he was clearly shot in the side, dangerously close to a vital organ. Even if he the bullet hadn't hit anything important he was still losing too much blood, and the only thing he could do was fall to his knees. He tried to pull himself together and reach for his gun but was merely shot in the hand, derailing any plans he had of defending himself.

But…why was he alone? He knew he hadn't come alone, so where was his back up? Where was…where was his lover? Cradling his hand against his chest he jump a little when the sound of a different gun went off, watching as each of the men before him dropped one by one. There was so much blood and more than enough had gotten on him, making his stomach start to churn. It sickened him to see such a thing, but he didn't understand why…he was a killer, wasn't he? Why was he trembling when faced with what he was supposed to do everyday? He felt like his entire body was shutting down, unable to move because he was either paralyzed with fear or horrified at the fact that everything he had learned had just flown out the window. He wasn't supposed to be afraid of what he saw, but there he was…lying against the ground looking as white as a sheet as he witnessed the killing of seven men before him. If he was going to die that would've been the last thing he saw…not a loved one or anything pleasant…his failed mission would've been the last thing. When there was silence once more the sound of footsteps could be heard behind him, telling him that maybe help was finally on the way. Gathering what little strength he had left he tried to at lest bring himself to his knees, but only winces as the in his arm and hand made themselves known once more. It hurt so badly, but what hurt more was the fact that he wasn't admitting things to himself. Denial was his only friend at the moment and he knew giving in to such things was just a form of not grasping the true reality of things, but his mind was spinning around so much that he needed something to tell him that was he was experiencing wasn't the real deal. Looking up he saw his lover looking down on him both literally and figurative. Allen could see it in his eyes…the cold emotionless dark he'd never see before, and he wasn't sure why they were directed at him. He had done nothing wrong so he thought that he didn't deserve such a look. Reaching up, he desperately wanted to open his mouth and ask what he had done wrong, but he dare not open it in fear that all that would come out would be nothing more then screams.

When his hand was slapped away and his body kicked a few feet from where it originally was…he knew something was wrong. He was now on his back, looking up at the dark ceiling that held no color much like cold eyes that his lover now had. Both for some reason were held a coldness that shouldn't have been there in the first place, but still the two's gazes pierced him with such intensity. This is had to be a bad dream…but as much as he wanted to bury himself further in denial it was kicked out of him as soon as saw the barrel of a gun pointed straight at him. This wasn't a dream…it was the sick reality that he was placed in and there was no way out. What had he done?! Why was he about to be shot by…the person he loved…or thought he did? After a few seconds the gun was put away, and the figure of his lover slowly started to walk away. He heard a small 'don't bother coming back' as he left, further adding to his confusion. Rolling into his side he shakily got to his knees, ignoring the pain that was shooting through his hand. He wanted to say something, but when he opened his mouth nothing but sobs came out. What did he want to say? He mind was still spinning, only mindless babble being one of the few things he would think up. Questions upon questions were the only things that would come up clear, and he desperately wanted to know the answers to them. Squeezing his hand a little tighter he decided to try one more time…the last time…but it wasn't a question…it was a plea for something he knew he wasn't going to get back. Please…Please don't leave me! It was the last thing he cried out as he blacked out. How could something like that gone so wrong?

He awoke in the three days later in a hospital room that was so brilliantly white he thought he'd blind himself, though total darkness didn't seem like all that bad of an idea. Looking over he could see that he had an I.V. jabbed into his arm and that his mentor was sitting in a chain across from him. Upon seeing him he couldn't help but breakdown right there. He had made such a foolish mistake that nearly cost him his life. His chest hurt so much, and the burning sensation deep inside the pit of his stomach wasn't making him feel any better. What made all of this even worse was the fact that he was still alive. This was the third time he'd been one the verge of death and the third time he'd avoided it, much to his dismay. Why wouldn't he die? Why was some unseen force allowing him to live when he clearly didn't want to? What else was there for him to do in the world?! Gripping his stomach Allen leaning over the edge of his bed and proceeded to vomit, feeling like he couldn't take it anymore. His life was just a joke and he would continue on living until the joke got old. It was his sin…As soon as he felt a hand on top of his should he couldn't bring himself to look. Allen knew who it was and couldn't bare to look his mentor in the face, because truth be told he couldn't face anyone anymore. He was betrayed by the one person he loved so much and he couldn't put what he was feeling into words. It was not depression that plagued him but something more, and what disturbed him to no end was the fact that he wasn't upset over it. He wasn't breaking down in front of the man that taught him because he was backstabbed by his lover…no…he was breaking down because he had failed. A mission like that meant moving up in the world, getting himself one step closer to become stronger. But now…he wasn't even allowed to go back now…he felt so irritated. His mentor asked him what he felt, and he simply answered 'mad as hell' since putting what he felt into words wasn't his strongest field. But then his mentor ask him something that he found rather odd…did he want revenge? Mustering up enough courage he looked over at him for a few minutes not needed too much time to think of what he wanted…

The answer was obviously a yes…

"P-Please! Stop this, I haven't done anything wrong!"

"…I could care less about what the hell you did…" Allen said to the man below him. He was currently straddling the hips of a very wealthy business executive (who was in fact a pedophile, thus him being in such a compromising situation), his gun firmly placed against the man's forehead. Another job stolen, another job he didn't care whether or not the rabbit he was taking them from got pissed off about. It just seemed more interesting to take from someone named after an animal opposed to an actually person. The White Rabbit was…the annoying character that shouted ridiculous lines in the story, always running around like an idiot because of his poor sense of time. Someone like that annoyed him greatly and the thought of catching him had crossed his mind a few times, but after nearly being shot by the guy a few days ago his mind was made up that he was a threat to what he was doing. The bunny had hopped around him one too many times, and now it was time for the lion to stop pretending he didn't notice. The rat was the enemy and no amount of training could tell him that actions needed to be taken. Allen knew that he wasn't taking things too far, just doing what was necessary to maintain his existence. There was only one reason why he wanted to live now and that was to exact his painful revenge on the people who had wronged him. Killing them wasn't going to be the only things he did…no…he was going to make them suffer. It wasn't enough that they had almost gotten him killed but they had the audacity to take away the one person he looked up to…his mentor.

Whenever someone was 'shot' in the real world it did not mean it was a mugging, or for that matter a crime committed by a deranged and slightly drunk person. If the words 'gun' and 'person' were ever used on the news there was a ninety percent chance that it was done by those bastard assassins. In the world there was no such thing as 'accidental' in the world people lived in, and whenever something like that happened questions needed to be asked. The one who had taught him everything he knew was unfortunately a victim of this. Knowing that something like this would happen one day he entrusted his name to his apprentice, telling him to 'honor everything he stood for, but pave the road with his own stones'. After his mentor died he felt like there was nothing that could really lift him back up from his hole in the ground, nor could he no longer confide in anyone about what he was feeling. Even if his cousin who he adored had moved into the town, he wasn't quite ready to open up…until three days after the funeral. He remembered that he had a job to do and he'd be dammed if something like that derailed him. He still had a heart which meant he was one step ahead of the corporation; it was a powerful ally because of its power to truly understand the world around it. It was the things that differentiated him from the S class players, and it was also the one thing that would guarantee him victory.

"W-Wait! I'll do anything, just please spare me!" The man below him yelled, getting on Allen's nerves more than he thought he would.

"Anything….?" He started, "Than answer me something...why is a raven like a writing desk?"

"W-Wha-"

"Time's up" He said, pulling the trigger. He had gotten use to the feeling of another blood in him, so he merely wiped it off of his face, licking his fingers as he did so. He wasn't an Alice anymore; he was considered a player because of the name he held and he was considered an S class player because of the digits on his back. He didn't care what he was called just as long as he fulfilled the job he was asked to do. Looking up he let the cold wet rain wash away everything that was left on him. He hated the rain…everything horrible that happened in his past happened in the rain, and he saw it as nothing more then a sign that the world hated for him. He once had the ridiculous thought that it was actually crying for him…yeah right! Why would it shed a single tear for him? If the world truly wanted to be forgiven then it would've needed bring back everything he'd lost…and he knew that was impossible. Looking over to his side a little he could see the shape of a small child standing near the entrance of the alley he was in. They were crying, sobbing something about a 'father' and didn't seem to make any sense whatsoever. The child looked to be about six or seven and didn't look like they were lost. So Allen came to the conclusion that the child must have belonged to man he had just killed, and therefore needed to be taken care of before he really did realize what was going on. He got up and slowly started to walk over to him; it was strange how he didn't notice the boy before and had let himself be seeing in the act. He was just a child…but he could still mess things up. Gently pressing his gun against the boy's head he noticed that the small child hadn't even acknowledged him yet, he just cried as he gazed over his father's bloody corpse. He hesitated…it was like him to do such a thing…but he found that this was a special case.

"…If you wish when the time comes…you may seek me out…" Allen said, lowering his gun, "But if you tell anyone what you saw here…I'll come and kill you, understand?"

The small child finally looked up at him, slowly nodding telling Allen that he did indeed understand the situation and what he was telling him. With that he left, placing his gun back into the inner pocket of his jacket. He didn't like killing children…so he opted to just let them go, knowing that they wouldn't be taken seriously if questioned. Allen didn't let his killer instinct take over all the time, making himself have a little self restraint when doing a mission. He knew the difference between right and wrong and used this knowledge to distance himself from the other people who were like him. He knew saying something like 'he was going to take them all down' wasn't was smartest thing to do, but he was going to make those that got in his way pay.

--

Rabi was wet tired, and sore as hell…not only had he been chased by a bunch of thugs, but he had to jump from roof-top to roof-top just to lose them. This was all that damn Hatter's fault…it wasn't until he was in the man's mansion that he overhead two of his bodyguards say that they had found that man's body in an alley downtown. The redhead listened further they said that his son was found alive at the scene, making Rabi believe that the crazed killed had kept him alive for a reason. Great, the last thing he wanted was a sympathetic killer taking his jobs away. It did shed a little brighter light on the guy, but he was still out there killing people without instruction. He decided that it would probably be best for him to leave, seeing that his job had once again been taken. Just as he started to leave, he head a loud 'intruder!' behind him meaning either someone else was here or he'd been found out. By the sounds of footsteps getting dangerously closer he could tell that it was obviously not someone else. Bolting for the nearest window, he tried his best to think of what exactly what he was going to do once outside. If there wasn't any kind of building of some sort next to the one he was in this would be nothing but a suicide attempt. Busting through the first window he saw he found that it was his lucky break; there just happened to be a flag pole near by so decided to jump for it. Grabbing it with just the right amount of force, he swung himself into an open window nearby. Once through he looked around noticing that he had landed in some sort of storage facility of some kind. But it wasn't until he looked a little closer that he found just what the building contained…weaponry.

Quickly getting up he sprinted to another window just in time; a bullet whizzed by his ears and he could curse the man for having such a large array of thing held up in one room. Did they say he had a kid? Jumping out of another window, he quickly grabbed the onto the edge of the roof across from the building he'd just leaped from, wishing he had time to put his gloves on. Scaling anything without his gloved was painful, because he wasn't some kind of super human that had a grip that could crush a diamond. New people coming into the game always thought that holding a gun gave them superhuman power and that they would be able to anything, but that wasn't the truth. Having a gun didn't give you power, instead it did the exact opposite. If one did not know how to use something with that much power in the right way it would only turn on them, showing that they were nothing but inexperienced. A user of weapons only became great once they understood that what they are holding isn't just a tool of destruction, but their best friend. The user and its weapon needed time to understand one another, and no matter how much you wanted it you couldn't rush it the process. It had taken two years for Rabi to understand how to wield a sword and gun correctly, and they had helped him out in many situations. But at that moment he would take out his gun to shoot anything because he was too busy jumping from roof to roof, trying his hardest to not get shot in the process. What really didn't make the situation any better was the fact that it just stopped raining, meaning that not only were the roof-tops wet but also slippery.

The redhead had almost lost his footing a few times while jumping, but as always he managed to get it back fairly quickly. Yes, it did have something to do with the fact that it had something to do with his extensive training he was given when he was younger, but that was another story for another time. Leaping onto another building he could clearly see the alley-way that was coming up rather soon and had to make a decision…jump down and hope there was a fire escape for him to latch onto, or take a right turn and keep building hoping. Luckily it didn't take him long too long to decided, having a bullet graze his shoulder speed up his thinking process. Of all the day he decided to wear a black tank top and camouflaged jeans. He really had no intentions of being at that mansion for too long, and he was damn sure he wasn't planning on being chased. This was another unfortunate event he would blame on the damn Hatter because the guy seriously needed a reality-check; he couldn't just run around and do as he pleases, because frankly it was going to tear his world apart. If people found out that there was someone running around without attachments to anyone was causing so much disorder there would no doubt be followers, anarchy would be inevitable. To have either world crumbled or to have one reign over the other was out of the question because the balance of power would've been thrown off completely, leaving those influenced by it in shambles. He wasn't going to let that happen because there was too much on the line, one thing being the only family he had left. If anything happened to his cousin he would most definitely go over the edge, leaving behind everything he stood for and going after everyone the person responsible care for. Too much had happened to the two of them over the past two years, and it had drawn them closer than before. Now the redhead wasn't the type to say their meeting was fated, but he could say that he was lucky they had. What made the whole 'deeply caring about Allen' somewhat horrible was the fact that he had yet to give his cousin a straight answer; to keep someone waiting seven months was unacceptable, but Allen didn't seem to mind being patient. It wasn't something he could answer with ease and that irritated him quite a bit. If he liked him he should tell him and if he didn't he didn't need to keep it in, right? So why couldn't he just say it?

Jumping over the ledge he found that he'd caught a luck break, landing himself in an empty dumpster. Being the smart person he was he knew that hiding inside of such a place would obviously get him caught, so he hopped out and slid underneath it. Once he was well hidden he head the men jump down into metal box, making it give off a loud 'pung' sound which was in no way pleasant to his ears. He waited and listened to the men arguing with one another, obviously pissed off at the sudden disappearance of the person they were pursuing. After a few short minutes the men left still sounding rather aggravated at the fact that they had let the intruder go. Sliding out, he found that though he was not in there for long he smelt of garbage and was in needed of a long hot shower.

So here he was, towel wrapped around his waste and another one around his shoulders. The how water made him feel a little better and had gotten ride of the stitch that had latched into him. Running the towel through his hair, he tried to think of a better way to go about the whole Hatter situation; if he wanted kill or at lest wound him to the point of death Rabi needed to be smart. Charging in would've been worst idea he's come up with, so he needed to buy himself sometime, even if it meant more jobs would be taken. Walking out of the bathroom he made his way to his room, reminding himself to clean up all the water he was getting in the floor. His apartment wasn't small but it was by no means a penthouse, or for that matter something you'd see uptown. It only had one bedroom that was completely a mess since the redhead never bothered to clean it. The kitchen was barely used and was probably the cleanest thing in the apartment; Rabi wasn't much of a chief and sometimes had Allen cook for him (he did it willingly and sometimes come over unannounced), but other then that it was pizza or Chinese. It new it was a horrible diet, but when your boss is stingy and all of your jobs are being taken by some hack with a famous name, what else could he do? Once in his room he plopped on his bed and pulled out his cell-phone; he needed to find as much information on the new Hatter and if it meant making his informant work overtime…or rather…making his Cheshire Cat work over time. There were some titles in his world that were not used to describe players, but they were rather generic names given to those who were not necessarily expected to fight or were to provide some sort of help or were to describe what position someone held. Every player started out as an Alice, because they were lost and needed help finding their way. An Alice was basically a newbie and did not receive a title unless given to them by someone else, so it was completely possible for an Alice to keep said name for quite sometime. Cheshire Cat's were the informants and gave any information to the players if asked, even if it meant hacking their way into a super computer or jacking the feed form a government satellite. Like the name given to them a few of the Cat's were…a little off their rockers. The redhead once had to question where they had obtained his and why she was paired up with him; from her sweet Lolita fashion, strange sayings, to her obsession with a small umbrella she swore could talk there was definitely something 'missing up there' in Rabi's opinion.

Sighing a little, he scrolled down his list of number and just as the redhead got to the last name he clicked the right arrow three times, making a completely different list come up. All players had the same customized phone which could hold more then it looked like. Each had three 'secret' screens that were only accessed when a certain button pattern was pressed. Right now all he wanted to do was called his informant so all he did was scroll down the new list of name and picks the one that said 'CC'. He really only talked to her when a job was given, or when he needed more information for something that needed further elaboration. Placing it against his ear he waited for all the ringing to stop and for her to pick up the phone. Once it was over he was greeted with her answering machine, which consisted of a two minute long ramble about how she 'loved her cute little Lero' and how 'her daddy didn't treat him right' after which he was given the usually 'not able to pick up, please leave a message'. Where was she? It wasn't like she had anywhere important to be…she might've only been fifteen, she wasn't the type to turn her phone off. Since that was true her not answering might've had something to do with her recently finding out that her computer was hacked. It happened yesterday and Rabi was so dumbstruck by what she told him; apparently she'd found out that someone had been tapping into her computer and copying valuable information from her hardrive. Upon hearing this he already knew who the culprit was; he got over his shock rather quickly once he realized just what she said after 'computer hack'. That…bastard…Rabi was beyond pissed off about the guy hacking into his informant's computer because that not only meant he was killer but a thief.

He groaned and closed his phone, lying back on the soft sheets below him. Why did he have to deal with this kind of crap? Before he could answer his own question he heard his front door open then close, telling him that Allen was here for dinning. Leaping up from his spot he quickly walked over to his dresser and pilled out a pair of pants; the last thing he wanted was to give his cousin the wrong idea with him wearing nothing more then a white bath towel. Once he'd slipped on a simple pair of jeans he heard the door to his room open slowly, making him curse a little because he had forgotten all about the small graze on his shoulder.

"Oh, there you are, I was calling you" Allen said, poking his head through he door.

"Oh yeah, sorry about that I was changing" He said, pulling open another drawer and pulled out a clean shirt. Just as he had it over his head he felt fingers run themselves across the small mark on his shoulder, taking him by surprise slightly.

"What happened?" His cousin asked with a little concern in his voice. This was the part the redhead hated…the lies. Rabi hated looking Allen in the eye and lying to his face, filling his head full of false information just so he could cover his ass. He didn't liked being so deceitful, but it was the only thing he could do to protect him from the horrors he would face. So he just put on a small smile and told him the most ridiculous of stories; apparently he was running home, trying his best to avoid the rain. Since he only had one thing on his mind the redhead had blocked everything around him out, resulting in him crashing into a row of trashcans. He not only was covered in the putrid mess, but had messed up his shoulder when he hit the first one. Rabi knew it sounded terrible but it was the only thing he could think of that combined his lack of clothing and the graze on his shoulder. If he asked what he was doing out while it was raining he would merely say that he decided to go grocery shopping. The redhead wasn't the kind to shop often, only going when he was nearly out of food. He didn't have many people over nor did usually invite people over; it wasn't because he wished to keep people at a certain distance, it was simply because it would be too much of a hassle to balance. He had already found that his world and the normal needed to be given the same amount of attention, so he didn't want to constantly be ditching his friend and coming up with lies that sounded too farfetched for anyone to believe. Balance was necessary to keep his life in order, and Rabi was determined to keep said balance in order to keep those close to him alive.

His cousin just looked at him for a moment then quickly averted his eyes to the ground, his hand now off of his body. The redhead was going to ask just what was wrong but he found the question rather stupid, and it was probably best to just let it go. Here they were…Rabi standing with his shirt over his head, practically half naked and his cousin who was so head-over-heels for him trying his best to not making the whole situation seem awkward…this technically couldn't count as flashing, right? Quickly slipping his shirt over his head he sighed a little; he really needed to say something to him because this kind of tension was starting to get to him. He did like Allen quite a bit but he wasn't sure if it was alright for him to be getting that close to him. He was so innocent…and to destroy that innocence would be his biggest sin. To have something this pure in such a world was rare and to take that away…he just couldn't do that.

"I-I'll start dinner" Allen said as he quickly began to leave.

"Hay, wait a minute" Rabi said, gently pulling his cousin back. Allen wasn't sure why he did what he did, but he knew he couldn't take it back since the deed was already done. As soon as he felt the redhead's hand on him he did the first thing that came to mind…kick him. It was purely out of instinct what he did, but at lest he managed to stop himself just as his foot a mere inch away from his cousin's face. He didn't like to be grabbed like that by anyone…it brought back too many bad memories for him. He slowly lowered his leg and back away, apologizing as he did so because he hadn't fully realized what he had done. The last person he wanted to hurt was Rabi…he was his only family and the only person he could look up to. Once out of the redhead's room, he tried to think of a way to explain his behavior; he could've said that it was some kind of weird reflex, that whenever he was tugged on he felt like he needed to defend himself. But then that explanation would just prompt more question than he wanted, and he didn't want to lie more then he had to. Running his fingers through his hair, he walked into the kitchen and started to rummage through the bags of food he had purchased. He didn't mind cooking for Rabi, since he knew the redhead didn't know how to cook to save his life. It had always been like even when they were little; whenever Allen would come over to visit he and his cousin would attempt to make a batch of some kind of baked good, but Rabi would always mess them up by burning or adding too much salt to them. Allen would only laugh a little and fix whatever the problem was, his uncle always saying that he had a 'natural talent as a chief' which would sometimes make him blush. Complements were fine when he was younger but as he become older he found that he didn't like them as much. When being told how 'good' he was at something it was usually said by the person he thought he loved, and every time someone would tell him how excellent he was at something he would always think about how false those words seemed. He didn't want to be lied to anymore and if he was the person would feel his wrath, because he felt that he deserved that much.

Pulling out a few vegetables he walked over to the sink and began to wash them. What would he tell the redhead? He wasn't one to think of his feet, but now he found it necessary to keep his little secret alive. If he had it his way a world filled with killers wouldn't exist since it conflicted with the real one. The real world might've had the same amount of deceit but at lest he didn't have to worry about being shot ever five minutes. Once he was done washing the vegetables he left them in the sink and started to prepare the meat for the stew. He wanted to cook a lot of something so Rabi would have something to eat for at lest six days. He knew how much his cousin worried about him but what he didn't know was just how much he deeply cared about his wellbeing. He spent many a nights thinking about if someone had found out his secret, if someone was heading over to the redhead's apartment at that very second to seek revenge. That thought made wake up in a cold sweat at night, panting and wondering if such a thing was possible. But he knew it was…it had happened once and it was bound to happen again, and the only thing he could do again was try to fight. His heart wasn't going to be broken again and he was going to make sure of it, but if it did…

He'd come after them with more fury in his heart then he already had…So lost in thought Allen barely noticed that he'd cut his finger with the knife he was using; he had indeed felt it but did not act upon it since it was such a small sensation. He was taught to ignore such things because it was meaningless to make a big deal over something so small, however; that did not mean he could no long feel physical pain. He could very well feel everything that was happening to him, but to compare a cut from a share of jagged glass on his side to a small cut on his finger from a knife was a big stretch. Looking down he stared at it for a few minutes; he wasn't a monster…at lest not yet and he wasn't sure how long it would take for him to become one. There was one price that came with being the Mad Hatter…loss of sanity. It would happen gradually and no one knew why taking on such a name meant losing the one thing keeping you inline. His mentor had managed to suppress his urges but he could sometimes see it in his eyes. It was a look that said he wanted to just tear him limb from limb, not caring who saw him. To know that he was going to suffer the same fate did not outweigh the fact that he deeply wanted to make the people that tortured him pay.

"Allen!" Came a very concerned voice from behind him. Before he knew it his hand was being covered up with a soft cloth that he guessed was the one the belonged on the sink.

"You needed to be more careful…It's really not like you to cut yourself…" Rabi said, gently squeezing the finger that was bleeding. Allen was acting so off to the point where Rabi was seriously starting to worry. He knew that his cousin never cut himself while cooking since, unlike him, he knew what he was doing. Something must've been bothering him and it was up to Rabi to find out. That was his job…he was the parent in his cousin's life now and he was going to try to protect from as much as he could. But did that mean he loved him? Love was such a complicated emotion and the redhead wasn't sure if he really knew it he was or wasn't falling for him. Rabi asked if something was wrong and he was given the answer he thought he would get…a simple head shake. He hated it when his cousin would lie to him because it made him feel like Allen couldn't trust him. He wanted Allen's trust…and wanted him to look in the eye and say 'I'll tell you anything you want to know'. But he knew that wasn't possible; there were some things about his cousin that he just wasn't meant to know, and as much as it pained him he wasn't allowed to pry. Looking down he found that he had stopped the bleeding somewhat, so he allowed himself a little sigh. Getting all worked up over something so simple was rather stupid, but he just couldn't help but play the 'mother hen' to Allen. Reaching over he patted his head, earning him a little blush from his cousin. He really liked that look…the way his cousin's eyes were always averted to the side and how his face looked like he wanted to say something but the blush told him otherwise. He just couldn't resist such a look…a look of innocence. It was at that moment that he knew…he knew that he needed this sort of thing around him. Why shouldn't he love Allen? He wasn't really related to him by blood so that didn't count as incest, right? Leaning closer to him Rabi tried to think of what he would say to him since…well…dealing with this kind of emotion was something he was not use to. When he noticed Allen back up a little he knew it was a now or never situation…

Hesitating a little, the redhead wrapped his arm around his cousin's waist and pulled him against his body. Was this wrong? He said he would protect Allen from everything that was sent his ways, but…what if someone came after him? What if, because of his involvement in his world, his cousin was kidnapped? All of these things were possible and Rabi needed to figure out right at that moment if he wanted to risk it. Using his free hand the redhead gently gripped Allen's chin, making him look him on the eye. He wanted him to be happy…but he didn't want that happiness to come with a price, since the redhead already knew the pain that came along with such an action. He needed to say it…to tell him that he was either ready to accept him into his life or keep him a certain distance.

"Allen…I…" Rabi started, but paused got the longest time, "Wanna tell you something…"

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A/N: Reviews would be greatly appreciated

CC: We are in no way talking about the character from Code Geass