Title: The Podium

Rating: M

Author: darkalbino, illi, me (me, myself and I)

Requested by: Heaven Cobra

I apologize for the wait hon, you're so supportive of my stories this should've come out sooner!

Summary: And to think, Naruto had once considered arrest to be a bad thing...

Warnings: uh...not really sure if it should be SasuNaru or NaruSasu, there's no full lemon, just lime, but i guess based on the circumstances it would be...i dunno, mutual. Language. Improper use of a podium XD

Disclaimer: Nada propio T.T


XXXThe PodiumXXX

Kiba Inuzuka leaned his head against the cop-car window, letting out a sigh of boredom and glanced at his new partner. "Hey." he called.

The other officer, Neji, turned his pale gaze to the brunette before looking back at the road, "What is it?"

"Let's turn on the-"


Kiba blinked, "Radio..." he deadpanned. He snorted and frowned, "Why not?"

"It might interfere with calls from the station." Neji replied in a why-are-you-so-stupid-I'm-so-much-smarter-than-you kind of arrogant way.

Kiba rolled his eyes, almost saying "What calls?" but stopped himself. 'Man' his mind groaned. Shino might not have been the most talkative partner in the world, and he did have a freaky obsession with bugs, but Kiba preferred him to this Neji guy. The dude probably couldn't even shit right with that ten foot pole shoved up his ass.

He snorted again and reached forward to roll down the window.

"What are you doing?!" Neji yelled.

Kiba jumped and looked at him, "Opening the window?"

"So someone can shoot us in a drive-by? Very smart Inuzuka." he grumbled sarcastically.

Kiba growled and fell back in his seat, huffing and crossing his arms.

Suddenly, he was jerked forward as the car came to an abrupt halt. When he slammed against the seat again, his head snapped to his partner, "What the hell man?!"

"What's that?" Neji asked, his eyes held by something in front of the car.

Kiba quirked a brow and looked outside.

There, leaning against the wall of a building that turned into an alley, was a young blonde man wearing nothing but blue, torn jeans, playing with a PSP.

Kiba gave the other a questioning look, "It's just some guy playing a video game."

Neji shook his head and opened his door, "It's a prostitute."

"What?!" Kiba squawked, scrambling out after his partner. "What in the hell makes you think he's a prostitute?!"

Neji's arm shot out towards the man, "Are you blind Inuzuka? He has no shirt on!"

"That's not a reason! It's hot as hell!"

His partner ignored him and marched up to the blonde with a stiff posture, obviously trying to intimidate him before he even spoke.

The man looked up from his game when a shadow came out of nowhere and blanketed the screen. He found himself staring straight into the face of a cop, "Uh...can I help you officer?"

Neji snorted and pulled out handcuffs, "You're under arrest." he stated blandly.

Naruto flinched and stood up straight, "What? Why? I wasn't-" he stopped, going completely still before smiling slowly, "Oooh, I see, yeah, 'under arrest.'" He winked at Neji, dropped his PSP carefully on top of his shirt, then started looking around the area. "My birthday's not for another week, but I guess my friend's wanted to surprise me early."

Neji's jaw dropped, "Are you implying that I am a stripper?"

Naruto stopped searching for his friends and grinned at him, "Whatever you want, baby. So what am I under arrest for?" He laced his fingers behind his head, grin growing wider, "Being too sexy?" He lowered his hands in front of him, ready for cuffing, "I'm glad they picked a cop, I'm into the kinky stuff."

Neji was still staring open-mouthed at him when Kiba suddenly appeared after finally having caught up, "Dude, he's not a-"


The brunette jerked and glanced at the blonde, a huge smile stretching his lips, "Naruto! What's up man? What are you doing here?"

Naruto smirked at him, "Like you don't know. So is he really a stripper, or one of your cop buddies doing you a favor? You paid him already right?"

Kiba blanched at the word 'stripper' and flicked his gaze to Neji, then shook his hands in a negative manner, "No no, Naruto, Neji isn't a stripper."

Naruto frowned and looked to Neji, "You're not?" he whined.


The blonde's frown deepened, "No sex then?" He yelped as he was abruptly turned around and shoved against the wall, his hands locked in cuffs behind him. He smiled. Yes! He was getting sex after all!

"Neji!" Kiba hollered in panic at the treatment against his friend.

"You're under arrest for prostitution."

Naruto looked over his shoulder at Neji, "Is this still part of the game? If I'm a prostitute, I don't plan on being bottom."

Kiba grabbed Neji's hand, "Neji! I know him! He's not a prostitute!"

Naruto spoke up, "S'alright Kiba, I love role playing!"

Kiba snapped to him, "This isn't a sex game you dumbass! Neji's my new partner and he's arresting you for prostitution!"

Naruto's face paled, "WHAT?!" He whipped his head to Neji, "I'm no prostitute!"

Neji shoved him into the wall, "Then explain why you are shirtless in the middle of the street!"

"Ow! Dude my shirt is right there! It was hot so I took it off!"

Neji looked down to indeed find a light-blue shirt at their feet with Naruto's PSP on top. "Well..." Neji mused, "Then you're...um...you're under arrest for loitering!"

"What the fuck?!"

"And indecent exposure!"

"WHAT?!" Naruto yelled, straining against the hold.

"And resisting an officer!"

"Quit bullshitting this! Let me go!"

Kiba watched helpless as Neji hauled Naruto to the car and shoved him into the back, "You have the right to remain silent."

"The fuck I will! You can go-"

The door shut, cutting him off, and both officers got back in. Kiba turned to the clear window that separated the front seats from the back, "Don't worry Naruto, you're innocent. I'm confident our legal system will take care of you...sorta. At least you won't go to jail!...I hope."

Kiba had obviously forgotten the panel was soundproof, but Naruto had managed to read 'jail' before freaking out, "Jail?!" he cried, panicking, "I'm going to jail?! But I didn't DO anything!"

Meanwhile, Neji was smirking his sadistic ass off in the driver's seat. He bent forward, fingers coming up to circle a knob, "So, how about some music?"

Naruto felt a cold rush of air assault him when Neji led him into a police station, Kiba close behind. They had allowed him to put his shirt back on before bringing him inside, but his PSP had been confiscated.

He was thrown in a chair and looked up at the pale cop, "I can't believe I wanted to have sex with you." he grumbled irritably.

Neji frowned and turned to Kiba, "I'm going to check if they can print him." His brow furrowed, "Can I trust you to at least watch him without a screw up?"

The brunette scowled at his partner's 'superiority' attitude before showing a fanged grin, "Sure thing."

Neji nodded, "Good." He smirked, turning back to Naruto, "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time."

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" The blonde hollered back.

Neji snorted and, with a flick of his hair, walked away.

Naruto was seething, "My dick wouldn't even FIT with that pole up your ass!"

Kiba chuckled, "Oh good, so I'm not the only one who sees it."

Naruto looked up at him, "You amaze me dude, how do you put up with such a douchebag on a daily basis?"

Kiba shrugged, "Lots of alcohol and annoying him. Now c'mon."

Naruto gasped quietly when Kiba grabbed his arm to pull him up and turn him around. Next, he heard the click of metal as the cuffs were removed. His eyes widened and he turned to his friend, bringing up a wrist to rub it with his other hand, "Damn, thanks man. But...won't you get in trouble?" he asked worriedly.

Kiba laughed and put his fist forward, "Nah, I'll be fine."

Naruto smiled and pounded the offered fist with his own, "See you later?"

Kiba nodded, "Definitely, but you better go before the prick comes back. Do you remember how to get out?"

"Uh..." Naruto glanced in the direction of the way Neji had brought him in, "I think so...I just need to find two big glass doors right?"

"Yeah but don't wander around for too long, I can't lead you out, it'll look weird."

"Gotcha." Naruto piped. He said bye once more and started walking as calmly as he could, retracing the path he remembered that dick using when he brought him in.

Kiba watched Naruto for a moment, making sure he was going in the right direction, before nodding and walking the opposite way. He couldn't very well stand there and stare as the blonde walked out. But as he turned a corner that led to the cafeteria, Kiba bumped straight into Neji's chest.

The pale man glared down at him, "Where are you going? You're supposed to be watching the prostitute!"

Kiba frowned and crumpled his brow, "He wasn't a prostitute!"

Neji's eyes narrowed dangerously, "...Wasn't?" He questioned.

Kiba jerked slightly, realizing his mistake, "Um..."

"As in past tense? As in no. longer. here?" The tone of his words promised a very slow and painful death if they turned out to be true.

"Er..." Kiba blinked and suddenly pointed in the direction he had come, "He escaped! I tried to stop him but he was far too strong! He stole my key!"

A vein pulsed dangerously on the side of Neji's forehead, "He was handcuffed."

"Uh- he's- he's PSYCHIC!"

"You let him go, didn't you?"

"Don't kill me! I bruise easily!"

Neji gave an exasperated breath and quickly shoved past the man to hurry down the hallway and catch the blonde before he left.

Kiba stood still for a moment, then frowned and called out, "HE WASN'T A PROSTITUTE!"

Naruto's lips pulled down as he wandered the police station, "Damn..." he muttered, "I coulda sworn it was here somewhere..." He stopped abruptly and scanned the room, then yelped in delight as he spotted the doors to the exit, "There it is!" he yelled excitedly.

Naruto frowned when people eyed him strangely and gave a nervous laugh, "Aha...I uh..." he looked to the floor and smiled wide, "Contact lens!" He bent down and tapped the tile floor with his finger, bringing it up and holding back a hiss as he poked his eye with the same finger, then pulled it down and smiled wider, "Much better!"

Everyone raised a brow and slowly turned back to what they had been doing, ignoring the strange blonde who now had one irritated, red eye.

Naruto's smile quickly fell when people stopped staring at him and he bent over slightly, pressing his palm against his abused eye and rubbing it with a soft whine.

He stopped rubbing when he suddenly heard someone say 'a blonde moron' and turned around out of reaction, since that's what people usually called him. Naruto flinched to find Neji questioning a fellow officer about whether or not he'd seen said blonde moron.

Naruto bit his lip and, as stealthily as he could, made his way to the double doors, but then stopped again.

There were two cops conversing in front of them.

His jaw dropped and he looked up, "Seriously?" he asked.


Naruto jerked.

"There he is!"

"Oh crap!" Naruto bolted past a female worker and down a hallway, Neji and the other officer right on his tail.

The blonde turned a corner and stopped, frantically looking around, "Hide hide hide! Somewhere to-" his words broke into a gasp as he spotted a brown door and lunged at it, pushing the handle down and slipping inside. He panted softly as he heard footsteps run past him and breathed a sigh of relief, only to suck it back in when he realized where he was.

It was a conference room of some sort, a small one with six tables and a podium in the front.

Naruto gulped and stepped forward to stand behind of the podium. It was wooden and fairly tall with a hollow side in the front...or maybe it would be considered the back, Naruto really wasn't sure. He tilted his head and debated staying in here or going back to try again for the exit. But his thought process was cut short when the door clicked and his body responded to the first thing that popped in his mind.

He dropped down and niched himself in the hollow of the podium.

Naruto bit his lip and brought his knees to his chest, holding them there with his arms and keeping utterly still as he heard more people walk into the room.

One of the officers spoke, "Did you guys see Hyuuga? He was running like his ass was on fire."

Another one shurgged, "I heard he lost his prostitute or something."


The men shot up from their seats, hands flying over their guns, "What was that?"

Naruto sat wide-eyed beneath the podium with both hands clamped over his mouth.

A black-haired cop lowered his hand and relaxed, "It probably came from outside...should we go check it out?"

Naruto lowered his hands and smiled, nodding enthusiastically at the suggestion.

Another man waved his hand through the air dismissively, "Nah, they don't need us newbies. Besides, the Chief warned us about not showing up for this little speech of his."

"Yeah...guess you're right, Chief's pretty scary when he's mad."

Naruto bit his tongue to hold back a curse. He didn't know exactly how many cops were here, but he'd heard at least four different voices already, so he wouldn't have a chance if he tried to make a break for it. He banged his head lightly against the wood he was leaning on, "I am so off cops after this." he mumbled.


Sasuke looked up at the woman with an annoyed gaze, his fingers wrapped around the handle for the conference room, "What?"

"We have a situation with a prostitute, but the new officers are ready for you."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed at her, "If I wasn't aware that they were ready for me, would I be standing here, Haruno?"

The woman blinked and flushed, "Uh...no...I suppose you wouldn't."

They stood silently for a moment, until Sasuke growled and scowled at her, "Are you waiting for a fucking cookie or something? Go deal with the prostitute!"

"Ah- y-yes sir!" She stammered before running off to her orders.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and opened the door, stepping into the room and closing it.

All five officers stiffened and quickly took their seats before Sasuke even reached the podium.

He stood behind it with a heavy frown and a cold glare, plaing his hands on its sides, "So...you all want to be policemen."

Naruto's eyes flew open to find a pair of legs in front of him clad in black fabric. He blinked and flicked his eyes up, but the rest of the body cut off just above the torso.

"So...you all want to be policemen."

Naruto blinked again.

Was that...was that God? He tilted his head and continued to stare upward.

Sasuke smirked as the officers nodded at his question, "Well, congratulations, you've accomplished your little dream."

A few men smiled at the statement, but they quickly fell when the Uchiha's smirk flipped back to a scowl, "But this is not a kiddie game of cops and robbers. Being an enforcer of the law requires something that I'm sure not one of you have yet- balls."

Usually, Naruto would have snorted a laugh at something like that, but right now he was far too distracted by that impossibly sexy and...demanding voice.

"If you want to flash your badge and wave your shiny gun around for kicks, I strongly suggest you up and leave this room right now. I do not tolerate such foolish and idiotic behavior. This is a job, and I make it my personal mission to make sure every dumbass in this building is doing their job efficiently and effectively."

Naruto felt his lips pull into a grin.

Shit, if the word sex had a specific sound to go with it, it would have to be made out of this dude's voice. So deep and husky, the blonde could just imagine the breathy words swimming through his senses, "Oh Naruto, harder" or even "You like that baby?" Anything. God, he could probably make the stock market sound sexy. He was getting hard just thinking about it.

Naruto had to see this guy.

"I do not condone mistakes. That's what you went through training for. If you fuck up- even once- you can kiss your job goodbye and bitch and cry to your mothers because if you so much as dare to come to me, I will castrate you, ridding you of something you obviously don't use."

One officer shyly raised a hand, "But- uh-sir...I thought you said...we don't have balls?"

Sasuke's eyes flashed and bored into the man, making him cringe and lean back. The Chief scowled darkly, "If you question me, I will shove my foot so far up your ass that you will wind up vomiting it right out of your questioning mouth."

Naruto carefully maneuvered himself so he sat on his haunches and peered from beneath the podium to look at the face that the incredibly erotic voice belonged to.

And ho-ly fuck was it a face.

Naruto quickly jerked back into his spot, 'He's fucking HOT!'

Pale skin and long, dark bangs that hung beside deep eyes. Sex on legs I tell you!

"If I tell you to jump, you ask how high. If I tell you to shoot, you ask where to aim. If I tell you to speak, you ask for how long. If I tell you to fuck, you ask how deep."

Another officer blinked twice, "But sir...why would you-"

"SHUT THE HELL UP! What did I tell you about questioning me?! My orders do not have to reasonable, you follow them anyway like the little bitches you all are! I could fucking tell you to vomit, you better ask me what color!"

The man shrank back in fear and nodded hastily.

Naruto raised a brow.

Talk about an asshole.

His lips spread out further.

But he was so. fucking. HOT!

The blonde's eyes flicked down to settle on the man's crotch, hidden behind pressed pants and a shiny, silver buckle.

And something very devious flowed into Naruto's mind. His mouth curled.

He said he'd be off cops after this. And as far as he was concerned, this was still during.

Tan hands reached out and slyly pulled the belt strap out of the buckle, careful not to rustle too much so the man would be distracted with his speech and not notice.

When he finished with the belt, Naruto took his bottom lip between his teeth and cautiously popped the button and pulled down the zipper, now presented with a pair of black boxers. He looked up under the podium to make sure the Chief was still occupied, and sure enough, he was still yelling away at the shit-faced cops.

"You will show no mercy out there! You will- ah!" Sasuke's sentence cut off in a startled gasp as his pants suddenly slid down his thighs and his hips were roughly jerked forward.

The Uchiha blinked confusedly, "What the..." he pulled back a little to look beneath the podium but what felt like hands on his hips once again yanked him forward, stopping him from doing so.

One of the officers leaned in slightly, "S-sir?"

Naruto grinned ferally at the limp member now exposed and inches from his face, 'Well that's pretty impressive.' he mused in appreciation. It was long and thick with a pale pink head, sprouting from a nest of soft, black curls. He chuckled softly and lowered his head while tipping it back, then took the tip of the shaft in from the bottom.

Sasuke gasped once more as something wet and unbearably hot surrounded his cock, his fingers tightened on the sides of the podium, "I think I found the prostitute." he said absently.

"Wh-what was that sir?"

Sasuke snapped his head up and shook it rapidly, "N-nothing, what...what was I saying before?"

"Uh...about no mercy, sir."

Naruto smiled around the dick in his mouth. He found that he liked making 'sir' stutter.

Let's see how many words he can break.

Naruto kept one hand on the man's hip and moved the other to wrap around the base of the shaft. He started pumping slowly, moving his fingers back and forth but keeping the hand in one place, his tongue began laving around the head, coaxing the other to hardness.

"Ahn, yes...mercy." Sasuke said breathlessly. One of his hands came down beneath the podium to tangle with soft hair and push it forward, but his eyes stayed on the officers, "Show none of it." he finished.

Naruto's gaze flitted upward, catching the implication and smirking as much as he could. He swallowed the half-hard manhood halfway and began stroking the rest with his already working hand. He closed his teeth lightly around the pulsing length and dragged his mouth back, eliciting a sharp intake of air as the man became fully aroused.

The blonde felt his own member strain against his jeans, and tried to ignore it as he put the slightest amount of pressure by lightly sinking his teeth into the head.

Sasuke's fist tightened in Naruto's hair and yanked him forward, thrusting shallowly into his mouth, "It-it's good! Ha- good that you all- you all passed and be-shit!- became officers."

A man frowned and slowly stood up, "Um...are you alright sir-"


The officer dropped straight back in his seat.

Naruto chuckled softly, the vibrations of his laugh running through the heated organ encased in his mouth. He felt the fingers in his hair tighten more and began to bob his head. Back. Forth. In. Out. Sucking softly while his hand increased its speed over the phallus.

Sasuke took a shuddering breath and spoke heavily, "You all better- hahn -try harder while you're here though."

The men looked to each other in confusion before nodding blankly.

Sasuke growled when Naruto failed to receive his message, still sucking softly on his cock, "Moron." he whispered. He breathed shallowly through his nose and tried again, "You all suck. So you need to try harder."

Naruto gagged slightly when Sasuke gave a particularly rough thrust into his mouth and glared up at the man, 'Okay okay, I got it! Fucking bastard...' He moved his hand back to the man's hip and pulled him forward, allowed the cock deeper into the moist cavern of his mouth before sucking until his cheeks were hollow from the action.

Sasuke hunched over the podium and began to sweat, scaring the shit out of the officers with the intensely dark and shadowed gaze he was pinning them with. "You're gonna have- fuck!- to be faster! Faster than- than anything before!"

"Er...why sir?"


Naruto moaned throatily and moved back to probe the slit of the head with the tip of his tongue, now weeping pre-cum. He lapped up the bitter-sweet liquid and flattened his tongue over the head before swallowing the length whole again.

Sasuke shuddered, "Yes..."

"Yes what sir?"

"SHUT UP!!" Sasuke hollered, and the man wet himself a little before nodding.

Naruto closed his eyes and began roughly moving Sasuke's hips back and forth, sucking his cock in and out with quick succession until he felt the man gasp, stiffen, and shoot his load straight into the blonde's eagerly waiting mouth.

Sasuke panted softly as he felt a soft constriction around his softening member, most likely the person swallowing his cum. He gathered himself after a few moments and yanked Naruto back by the hand that was still in his hair, then quickly re-did his pants and looked up at the officers, "Get out. All of you."

"What? But sir-"


The men scrambled and climbed over each other, hurriedly running out the door and far far away from the insane Uchiha.

When they were gone, Sasuke slowly bent down and looked beneath the podium, finding a grinning and- quite noticeably -aroused blonde man.

Naruto stared at the scowling Chief of Police and laughed nervously, "Ahaha, uh...hi?"

Sasuke reached for him and grabbed the back of his shirt, quickly jerking him out from under his hiding spot and pulling him to his feet.

Naruto grunted and scowled back at him, "Hey man! Be gentle! I just gave you some awesome head!"

Sasuke grit his teeth, "You..."

Naruto blinked and frowned, "Naruto...and you are...?"

Sasuke shook him violently, "You made a fucking fool out of me!"

Naruto smiled, "Emphasis on fucking!" he joked.

Sasuke glared.

The blonde shrank back, "You know, cuz' you were...fucking...my mouth...aha...to soon?"

It was at this moment that Neji busted into the room and both the blonde and the raven looked to him.

Sasuke frowned at the panting officer and held Naruto out to him, "Is this yours?" he deadpanned.

Neji looked unsuredly between the two of them and nodded, "Yes sir, I'm sorry, he's a slippery prostitute-"


Sasuke smirked, "And yet, you just gave me a blowjob from beneath a podium."

The blonde sputtered and growled at him, "Well- well it wasn't like you paid me for it!"

Neji gave them a shocked expression and quickly grabbed Naruto's wrist, "I am so sorry sir! Here, I'll take him off your hands, he'll get what's coming to him."

Sasuke snarled and jerked the blonde back out of Neji's grasp, "Oh you fucking bet he will. He's coming with me."

Naruto cringed, he didn't like the sound of that.

Neji blinked, "To where Chief?"

Sasuke's smirk stretched back into place, "My office."

A blonde head shot up.

Sasuke tugged Naruto behind him, "For corporal punishment."

Okay, maybe Naruto DID like where this was going.

"On my desk."


"And I am not to be disturbed."


"For the rest of the day."


"Trust me, officer Hyuuga. When I'm through with him, he won't be able to walk out of here."

Naruto pumped a fist in the air, "YEAH! Wait- what?"



lol, i rather like this fic, even if it wasn't a full lemon.

i hope everyone enjoyed! specially you Cobra-chan!

reviews plzz X3