YAY the last chapter is up! This chapter took awhile, sorry i have not been in a writing mood lately. so anyway this is the chapter where Edward comes back in . . Edward's POV! so I would love it if i got reviews. . .
I love this chapter, its kinda confusing though, sorry.
disclaimer: don't own characters. I don't even own the chapter, its a different point of view! humph.
I was afraid to look away. I was afraid to look away from those eyes. Those beautiful, depthless, chocolate brown eyes. I was afraid if I looked away, they would disappear. I've lived without those eyes for long enough, longer than I ever had thought possible.
I didn't move. I stayed perfectly still, waiting for her to do something. Anything. I was still not thinking straight, I felt almost dizzy from seeing her again.
She blinked, breaking me out of my trance. Abruptly, she started sobbing. Startled by the sudden change in atmosphere, I pulled her up onto the bed, and let her cry into my shirt. I wrapped my arms around her, and pulled her into my chest, pressing my face into her hair. I closed my eyes.
"Shhh Bella, It's okay. I'm here." I whispered softly. "Shhh." I kissed the top of her head. For I don't know how long, I just watched her, memorizing everything about her, as if I didn't already know perfectly. The way her wet eyelashes brushed against her soft skin, the feeling of her warm skin, the way her hair shone red in the dim light on the ceiling. I rubbed small circles into her arm. I listened to the sound of her heart, matching my breathing to the even beats. It was the most significant sound in the world to me.
Soon, too soon, She pulled back. Unwillingly, I dropped my arms, and she slid away. I pulled back, so there was half of a foot in between us. She wiped her hand underneath her eyes, and turned to face me.
I took a deep breath. "Bella." I said. I felt as if there was a lump in my throat, like I was choking. I stopped. I took another deep breath and started again.
"Bella, I owe you an apology. No, I owe you much more than that. Bella, I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am, for what I did to you. I will regret it more than anything else for the rest of my existence." I couldn't come up with the right words to explain what I was thinking. "I am so sorry. I just-" She stopped me, pressing her finger to my lips. She pulled her hand away quickly, then slowly put it down.
"Please. Please, don't." I didn't understand what she meant. She looked down, twisting her hands together in her lap.
"Bella, you have to know why, why I did that to you." I said. She looked back up at me. "I didn't want to leave. I argued with myself for so long. Bella, I had to. I couldn't stand me being the reason you kept almost getting hurt or killed. I was trying to protect you. You shouldn't have to fear all the time because of me."
I watched as she wrapped one arm around her chest, as if she was holding herself together. I swallowed.
"Why?" She whispered, acid leaking into her voice.
"Why does it matter?" She said, her voice breaking. A tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped her hand underneath her eye. That made me furious. Not furious with her, I don't even think I could be furious with her right now. Furious with myself. I hated myself.
"Why does it matter?" I said, my voice raising. I stopped, trying to make my voice calm. I slid off the bed and bent down in front of her. I put one finger under her chin and pulled it up so her face was inches away from mine. "Bella, of course it matters. Why wouldn't it matter if you died?"
"No, why does it matter to you?" She turned her head, and I dropped my hand, shocked.
"Bella, I don't know what you mean."
"Why do you care?" She said, starting to cry again. "You don't. . love me." She sobbed.
"Bella," I said, sitting back on the bed. "Of course I love you. Bella, how could you think that?"
"In the forest, you said. . " She murmured.
"Bella, In the forest, I didn't mean any of that. I had to. You never would have let me go. I had to make you believe the most ridiculous, absurd concept, that I didn't love you. Bella, I never stopped loving you, and I never will stop loving you. Every second you were gone, I couldn't stop thinking about you. Your face was always there in my mind, and it tore me apart, knowing you were here, thinking that I didn't love you." I explained, trying to get her to understand the one thing in my life that would always be true, the one concept that had changed my life forever, from the moment I realized it was true. "Bella, I love you."
She started shaking her head. "No." She didn't believe me.
"Bella, how could you think that I don't love you? You still don't believe me, do you? After all the times I have said I love you, how could one word break your trust in me? Bella, I love you. I have always loved you, I will always love you, and. ." I stopped. "I'm sorry."
I waited, and leaned in so her face was an inch away. She looked at me. "I am sorry." I breathed. I leaned in and she turned away. Rejection washed through me. Then, I realized the truth. The awful truth. I was too late. She had moved on.
"It's already too late." I mumbled, barely able to talk. I stared at my hands, unable to wrap my mind around the concept. This is what I want. I should be glad. She can now live a happy, normal, human life. I couldn't make myself be happy, hard as I tried. I felt empty. I knew this was going to happen. This is what I wanted to happen, I had told myself. Lied to myself. Now that it happened, I couldn't let myself believe it. "Isn't it?" I said, pointlessly. I knew the answer.
"When you leave," She murmured. "It will only hurt that much more."
"I'm not leaving again. Didn't you hear what I said? I can't leave again. Do you. ." I swallowed hard. "Want me to leave?"
She didn't answer. "Bella, I know I have no right to ask this, but after everything I have put you through, everything I have done, everything I have said, do you still love me?"
"What kind of stupid question is that?"
"Of course I still love you. I never stopped loving you. And there's nothing you can do about it." She said. The words were like a life vest, holding me above the water. Like I was finally able to breath, after so long.
"That's all I needed to know." I murmured, and pressed my lips gently to hers. At that moment, everything felt perfect. As if I had never left. I was never leaving. I was here, and Bella loved me. There was no other word for it. I was happy.
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THe story is over, sad. :( Review and tell me what you thought!