Ch. 4- Contentment Over Insecurities

Disclaimer: I do not own Bully. You already know. Already know.

A/N: I hope this came out right because if it didn't, I would have to hang my head in shame of ever having the gall to call myself a Jimmy/Mandy fan, even though I love Jimmy/Pinky even more.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Popularity has always been a way for me to fit in and not get my feelings crushed. The only reason for dating Ted Thompson and singling out and humiliating the weak around me was to seek my own satisfaction to be recognized. I always wanted to be a model so other girls would envy me and try to be like me-as if they could ever be like me-the thought of everyone's eyes on me just made me feel cool and collected.

Day after day I could feel everyone's eyes on me whether it was my peers or random people all over town-maybe the whole world even but I didn't mind, I was completely hot and whoever had anything to say otherwise would probably have something wrong with them but Jimmy Hopkins was an exception.

I marked him as a total perv when he first came here and through a few weeks, I was right when I caught him sneaking into our dorm, spying on my little conversation with metal mouth and he just had to have the nerve to look me up and down and say those words.

" You wish"

Could Jimmy be the only guy to blow off my charms? Is there other guys that might be saying this behind my back? I am beautiful-the hottest chick in Bullworth Town and so happens to be the head cheerleader. I shouldn't care what came out of that perv's mouth anyway. Seriously, who does he think he is talking to me like that. Yeah, like he doesn't care. Of course he cares, just look at me; my skin is flawless my body is "naturally" petite and I have a face that could kill, if beauty was ever a weapon. He would have to be a fag to not notice my dazzling beauty and grace at first glance and he does seem to like art class. So Whatever.

While in the middle of cheerleading practice, those annoying questions just came back to gnaw at my self esteem. I knew I shouldn't have taken Beatrice's weird notes and to also tell everyone about it but I just wanted to fit in and this guilty conscience began to consume me until I was met with a nauseous feeling to throw up from the disgusting stench after opening my locker. This just had to be Beatrice's way of getting back at me. Well…I'll make sure that she will regret the day she even thought of pulling this trick. That pig ugly thing was surely going to pay and her nerdy guy friends too.

That was traumatic seeing pictures of myself posted up over town. Why would someone even think of doing something like this to me? I mean, I may have been bitchy at times but I just wanted to be respected and at this school you needed to cause some fear in order to get that respect. Ted just took advantage of the situation, trying to feel me up and assume that I was some slut, so I had no choice but to break up after all the relationship wasn't worth him treating me like a slut. I'm not Lola, you know. I thought he would be the only one to confide in but he was just like the others.

Just when I thought that I sunk so deep into the hollow end of the pool, Jimmy comes and rescues me and I couldn't feel more relaxed. He allowed me to display my true character and get rid of my mask. Around him I felt content to pour out my deepest and darkest secrets, especially when the gym was empty at these hours. He didn't try to take advantage of me, as of now I was feeling totally vulnerable.

After doing such a favor, Jimmy Hopkins' had changed from an annoying little perv to a friend in my book. Out of all the people that surrounded me at this school I would've never even thought that a guy that claims that they didn't care would turn the other cheek to show even the slightest sign of compassion. He really brightened my horizons that day.

When we dated, all eyes were on us. Me and Jimmy couldn't even get past the front gate and into town without other kids grinning and commenting. We would often sneak off to the gym equipment building to hang out and express our thoughts but when football practice started and players began to pour onto the field it was almost impossible to get out without someone spotting us. It would be like all over the school if someone like Christy was to catch us in the act. I know it's her saying all those things about me forcing myself to throw up in the toilets.

Jimmy and I had to break off our relationship because he insisted that we'd just stay friends so I wouldn't risk getting expelled. For a tough guy he was also considerate-when it came to girls but he wasn't ready to let a guy walk over him.

Jimmy saved my life twice during the whole time I've known him. He got those awful posters down before my parents could even hear about it and he saved me from a burning building. He is a hero, an honest friend, an all around guy with much heart. I saw him recently, with some punk girl around campus and I have no choice but to envy her for having such a boyfriend. Still…I have to admit and you don't have to believe it but I think I still have some strong feelings for him because he was the only guy that didn't go out with me for the popularity and not for my sex appeal, but for pure friendship.

Now that I know that he really did care nothing seems to bug me much lately and I'd always think of those two little words as nothing but sarcasm. I feel more open and not cut off from the rest of the school because I finally found my place of satisfaction. In Jimmy Hopkins' eyes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Well...that's it for that one but I'm thinking of using Jimmy/Zoe until the very end. So you know what to do. Press that button below and tell me your thoughts and ideas for the next chapter. ^_^